True Control (16 page)

Chapter 34 HIM

I didn’t know it, but today is what I’ve been waiting for, and I don’t like to wait.

But I feel good. For the first time in weeks. Her heartbeat against my hand. Her attempts to swallow and speak and breathe against my hand. Her look of pure fear. God, I’ve missed you, little girl.

I go for the belt. It’s time I teach her a good lesson in who her body belongs to once and for all.

She tries to run. I take one second to laugh before grabbing her and yanking her back towards the bed.

She tries to stall. Talk back. Bad move, little girl. I slap her. Not her left side. This is still too hurt. Her cheekbone still healing. But her right side…that’s fair game.

I watch her undress. My Lucy. I notice everything. It’s been so long since she’s stood in front of me nude. Every scratch, bite, scar. All mine. Her rib looks better. Still swollen a little, still bruised. Too bad. Not going to stop me. Not today.

I’m the monster from my nightmares. But I’m in control of the animal. I have it on a leash. But I can give it a little room to play…

When I got the text asking if it was ok that Lucy was leaving the apartment this morning. I knew. I just knew where she was heading. In the back of my mind, I already knew what was going to happen.

I was calm. Calmer than I’ve been in weeks. Every moment of anger and pain and fear was gone. Replaced by a clear image. Us. Lucy and me. Our future. I’ve waited long enough. Given her more time than I should’ve. But it was for this moment. Today. Our future starts all over again.

This is what I’ve been waiting for. To prove to her. To me. That we belong together no matter what.

I wasn’t surprised when I saw her bags packed. She’d want to run. She doesn’t believe in me anymore. But she will.

I’ve questioned my ability to bring her back from her nightmares. To make her all mine again. I waited through her healing. But I’m through questioning, waiting. There’s too much at risk.

“Did you really think I would let you leave?” She doesn’t move. Trying to look so brave. Her arms wrapped around herself. Good. “Did you think I’d let you leave with our baby inside you?”

Her eyes widen with fear. She shakes her head and almost apologetically, “It’s not yours.” I know this already. I talked to her doctor after she left her office this morning. The timeline matches with Lucy’s disappearance. There’s only a small chance that the baby she’s carrying is mine. I don’t care. Boy or girl, it’s
mine
. Ours.

I move quickly, grabbing her throat again. “I own all of you, little girl.” I shake her and squeeze harder before shoving her onto the bed.  I get on top of her before she can move, pinning her hands under me. I squeeze her side with my legs and she gasps from the pain to her ribs. I slap her right side again. Harder this time. I won’t leave a bruise. Not this time. Plenty of time for that.

“Don’t you get that?” She shakes her head, tears of fear and pain. Her beautiful blue eyes bright with both. God, she makes me so hard.  “
You
are mine. Everything about you is mine, including this baby.” I run my hand over her face, from the left side down to her throat, across to her right rib. “You think you’ll ever be anything except mine?! You think what he did to you makes a difference?! That you can push me away?”

She shakes her head uncontrollably, sobbing loudly. I slap her again. And again. Maybe I will bruise her. Give her something else to see in the mirror. But I stop myself. Not today. I have something else in mind for her today.

I get up. Pulling her with me. Off the bed. I hold onto her arm and pull her against me. “Look at me.”

She does, but her eyes are wild with fear and tears. And longing. My sweet Lucy. I pull her close and smash her lips with mine. Her tongue is eager, searching my mouth, licking the back of my teeth, the roof of my mouth. I taste her copperiness. Good. It’s a start.

I pull her away and my sweet hungry Lucy moans. “I’m never letting you go again. You will never be left alone. You will never be anywhere but where I tell you to be. Do you understand me, little girl.”

“Yes, Sir.” So eager.

I put my hand on her lower belly, holding her against me. She puts her hands over mine instinctively protective. Good. After I talked to her doctor, I’d worried that Lucy was thinking that she could end this pregnancy. That she didn’t want this baby. “This
is
mine. Have no doubt in your head, little girl, that you and this baby belong to me. Only me.” She only nods. “Say it!”

“I belong to you.” She swallows. “My baby belongs to you.” But this is too much for her. She wails a big cry. Jerking against my hold on her arm, she throws herself into my other arm.

I drop the belt and hold her. Squeezing her to my chest, holding her head against me. I can’t understand what she says, a jumble of tears and stuttered words. I just hold her and rub her back. I soothe her with whispers and kisses. It’s been too long since I’ve held her like this.

She finally starts to quiet, sobs turning to only tears and hiccups. I walk her back to the bed and sit with her on my lap. Her arms still clutching around my neck.

I speak softly into her hair, still rubbing her back and leg. “Did you really think I wouldn’t want you? That I’d let you just walk out of here?” She only shakes, no words. I lift her chin up. “I failed you.” She starts to open her mouth. “No. Just listen. I know that I failed you. I let you get hurt. It was my job to protect you and I didn’t. I’ll always be sorry for that, baby.” She rubs against my hand. My good girl.

“I know that you’re strong. Stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. You’re strong enough to take all me…all of my demands, all of my anger. I know you don’t
need
me, Lucy. You proved that…you got away from that asshole on your own.” I stop.

I don’t know if I should say the rest, but I know she needs to hear it. She needs to understand that I understand. She lost her faith in me, but I never lost my faith in her. “I’ve heard you crying at night. I’ve heard your nightmares. But I know that whatever he did to you…that you’re still my sweet Lucy. You weren’t broken by it, little girl. I know you can take care of yourself no matter what…but
I
need
you
. I need you to love me.” Her hands on my face. I kiss her palm and she smiles her sweetest smile. My Lucy.

“I almost failed you again…giving you too much space the past few weeks. I was waiting until you were healed completely…” I let some of the anger I’ve felt creep back into my eyes and voice. “I thought that’s what you needed. I thought you needed time to come back to me on your own. But I know that you won’t be fully healed until I make you mine again.” She only nods. Her look of fear and guilt back. That perfect combination that shoots straight to my cock and pushes all rational thought aside. But I hold back a little longer.

“I don’t care how you’re pregnant, Lucy. This
is
my child.
Our
child. I was raised by a man who wasn’t my father. But I’ve only ever had one dad.” She nods again, tears slipping out of her eyes, a small smile on her lips. I put my hand on her stomach again. “You were born for me. And this child will be born for us.” She kisses me. A gentle, tender kiss.

“I love you, Max.”

“And I love you.” I kiss her back with a little more force. I can feel my cock hard under her. I’ve waited too long to have what’s mine again.

I pick her up and set her on her feet. “Bring me the belt, Lucy.” She blinks. Fear back. Good.

She puts her hand on her stomach. I laugh, but manage to keep my face stern, shaking my head, “That’s not going to save you, little girl. You have a punishment coming. And you can take it.” She moves slowly to the belt on the floor and picks it up. She brings it back to me slowly too. I love watching her move. Her little walk back, one foot in front of the other, almost on tip-toe.

I like the feel of the belt in my hand, the weight. I shift it around so the buckle hangs loose a little. She stares at my hand, eyes wide. She’s beautiful. I’ve missed this.

I look her up and down. Her wrist is swelling again, so is her side near her ribs. For this punishment, she can’t lie down; she can’t hold her weight against a wall or bed either. I stand and put my left arm out in front of her, across her chest, holding her upper right arm with my hand. “Brace yourself against my arm.” She figures out what I mean, moving her hands to cup under and over my arm, pressing herself against my strong hold.

She lowers her head, her hair tickling over my arm and her hands. I lean her forward a little, not quite on tip-toe. “Arch your ass in the air, little girl. Show me you want this.” She does. I feel my cock throb looking at her. Her chest thumps and breath quakes against my arm.

“I’m going to hit you with the buckle.” She shudders, but I keep her still. “Only on your bottom.” Her second shudder is a little less. Good. She grips my arm more. “Take a deep breath in.” She does. I know with her rib hurting, I’ll have to go slow. Allow her time to catch her breath. I don’t mind. The animal on the leash does…but I’ll like making this last.

I let the first strike hit just as she ends her deep breath out. She screams and dances on my arm. I like the intimacy. I may have to spank her in this position more often. I can feel her every reaction. I wait for her to calm, her breath to catch. Her body to stop shaking. I hit her again, only a little harder, still on the plumpest part of her ass. Same scream, same dance. Her body heats against me.

I wait again. Giving her a little more time. I watch as her ass shows two perfect buckle prints. Bright red. I hit harder. She screams a little louder. One more, same spot. Same scream.

“Do you think you’ve had enough, little girl?” A special part of this particular punishment.

“Please…”

“That’s not an answer.” I hit her hard again, close to the last one. Her yelp is a gulp for tears and air.

“Yes.” She gasps for air, “Yes, Sir.”

“No. You don’t decide when you’ve had enough.” I hit her again, not as hard. “Have you had enough, little girl?”

“Please…I don’t…” She cries and sobs against my arm, her head rocking up and down. My beautiful Lucy. Her ass a tight plaid of buckle marks on her round cheeks. I hit her again, still not as hard. The buckle is leaving a deep red mark. I want to see this on her thighs too, but I already said I’d limit it to her ass. Next time…when she deserves a harsh punishment again.

“Have you had enough?” I wait with the belt ready.

“Only if you say so.” She’s quick with this answer. A single word almost carried with her breath in. I want to laugh and tell her she’s a good girl. Not yet. She has another lesson.

“Good.” She lets a long breath out with relief. Almost cruel to make her think I’m through with her…almost. “You kept a secret from me, little girl.” She stiffens again. “What was it?”

“I…I’m sorry…I saw Jake…he’d come over…I’m sorry.” She’s sobbing again. I hit her hard to add to her tears. She screams and shakes again. I hit her once more hard before giving her a chance to breathe. I let her sobs run their course. I pull her up to stand straight, but don’t let go. She’s still too shaky. She clings to my arm.

I turn her to face me. Her face all blotched, lashes wet with tears. So beautiful. “He won’t be coming here anymore without my permission.” She nods quickly. “You keep a secret from me again, little girl, and you’ll feel this buckle on your back.”

“Yes, Sir! Thank you, Sir!”

I let go of her arm, running my hand up to her shoulder, around her neck to cup the back of her head. She’s warm from her punishment. Her eyes take on that soft, half-opened look of hers. Lips parting in want and need. I pull her towards me for the kiss. But keep it soft, feathering her lips with mine. Running my tongue across the inside of her lips before feeling deeper.

She moans softly and I’m undone. I pick her up gently, her arms circling around my neck, her lips kissing everywhere they can reach. I lay her gently on the bed, kissing her as she strains to keep our lips touching, but I pull away. I take off my clothes quickly. It’s been too long.

Her legs are open before I’m on the bed. I smile at my Lucy. Mine again. Always.

Entering her is everything. The warm, wet strength of her pull. Her legs shake with the energy of forcing me in deeper. I let her control me for a moment. She squeezes and moans, arching her back and head, pulling on my shoulders, lifting herself off the bed to meet me more. It’s almost more than I can take.

I push her back down with a firm hand on her chest. Her eyes pop open in surprise. My turn.

I grab her legs and bend them back, pushing into her deeper and harder. She puts her hands behind her head. “Good girl.” She smiles. I can barely speak, trying to concentrate on making this last. Oh, hell…I give up and just fuck her hard and fast a few more strokes before I’m lost in my own deep moans.

When I look down, she’s smiling at me, hands reaching for my neck. I lean down to give her a kiss, but she whispers in my ear, “You owe me one still…” She kisses my cheek. And pushes her hips up and down, grinding against me again.

I grin. Not a problem. I’m getting hard again just feeling her squeeze me.

I’m always ready for more of my Lucy.

…..