True Control 4.2 (2 page)

Chapter 2 HIM

Jeff is still on the phone with his friend, Detective Killaney. He told me in between answering and asking questions that Killaney has bagged the purse and phone and will take it to the station before coming here. Good. It’s a start at least.

My investigator already said that the cab driver who dropped Lucy off near her doctor’s office didn’t have any information. Neither did the security guard at the front desk of the office building.

I walk into our bedroom. I’ve left everything just the way it was when I got home earlier. Jeff said not to touch anything unnecessarily. But I walk into the closet. No dry cleaning. Lucy didn’t even finish this chore. She probably intended to pick up my suit for tonight on her way home from the doctor.

Fuck. My Lucy. Lost. I can’t take this.

This feeling of helplessness. Powerlessness. I’ve never known this feeling.

Even when I was a kid and Mom was at her worst…I always felt like I had some control over my life. I was a tough kid. I stayed because of Jake…hell, even because of Mom. She needed me, to take care of her. Until Ron came along.

He took care of all of us.

I pick up my cell and dial his number. Dad may be needed to get any investigation fast tracked. I’m sick waiting for him to pick up though. How do I tell the man who taught me everything I know about being a man, taking control, staying in control…that I’ve completely lost it?!

Fuck!

Chapter 2 HER

Uh oh. Max went downtown looking for me? I am in more trouble than I thought…“I threw it away.”

Jake blinks and raises his eyebrows with a grunted laugh. “Why would you do something so stupid?!”

I get defensive at this. “Because I know Max tracks my phone!”

“So what?”

“So he’d know that I came
here
…” Now who’s being stupid?!

He rubs his chin. A move I’ve seen him do whenever he’s thinking, but doesn’t want to say what. “Just say it.”

“What?” He frowns at me, his look still a blend of irritation and anger.

“You have something on your mind…just say it.”

He drops his hands, “What are you doing here, Lucy?”

I swallow. It was hours ago when I came to talk to him. I realized what a bad move it was after the first half hour stuck in the elevator. I’ve made a big mess today. And I can’t see any way out of it now.

I didn’t really think it through. I didn’t give myself a chance to think. I impulsively threw my purse and phone away right in front of Dr. Patel’s building. And then I walked quickly away. No cab. No bus. I walked to Jake’s. That was almost ten blocks. My feet were killing me in the little sandals I wore. My legs cold in the dress against the early spring wind.

And then getting here. No Jake. And an elevator that acted like a prison.

Yeah…pretty stupid.

I put my hands over my face and let out a little cry. I’m scared now.

Jake wraps me in his arms, holding my head and shoulders with his strong hands. He held me like this that first time he came to see me on that Friday…that seems like so long ago.

But I’ve thought about it often. That Wednesday night with Max. That Friday with Jake.

I shake with tears in his arms.

Chapter 3 HIM

“Yes, Sir. I’ll let you know as soon as the detective gets here.” I listen a little more as Dad assures me that he’ll be making calls on his way to my place in the meantime. “Yeah. That’s a good idea to leave Mom at home for now….it might be a zoo here soon.”

I put my cell in my pocket after looking to see if I missed any calls or texts. Maybe Lucy is with her friend Laura after all? Or in the hospital. My investigators are checking this next.

Please…don’t let her be hurt…

I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to Lucy…she’s my life. My everything. She has been since the first time I saw her.

Just before our wedding, waiting for the door to open, waiting to see her for the first time that day…this is how I felt. This separation. The need to see her again. To see her smile, her eyes. She has my heart and it feels like it’s tearing in my chest right now.

I want to punch something. I need to be doing something!

I walk into the living room again. Jeff is waiting at the table. He stands when I walk in. “Jeff…give me something…tell me your friend is doing something right now…”

“Tom is doing everything he can…until this is an official investigation and he’s assigned, he can only do so much…” Not what I needed to hear. I growl and turn around in a small circle slowly. Fuck!

“Dad’s on his way here…he’s going to see what he can do to speed up that official assignment anyway.” I reach for the bottle of scotch and notice Jeff watching me. I don’t give a shit. I need a drink right now. Or I need to punch something. He seems to get it and backs off with his hands up in the air.

I walk out into the night air with my glass. My Lucy. Somewhere out here…Where are you, little girl?!

Chapter 3 HER

I get control over my tears slowly. Jake keeps his hands pressed on my head and shoulder though. His fingers rub my curls and the skin on my neck. I start to feel uncomfortable and push slightly against him.

He lets go, almost pushing me away.

“I’m sorry…I’m just scared…you said Max was looking for me?”

He nods, “Yeah…he went downtown with Jeff. Even called me to keep a look out for you at your place.” He reacts to my look. “Sit down.” I let him lead me to his sofa. He sits close to me, keeping his hand on mine. His other hand pushing my hair back, rubbing my arm.

I like his touch, it’s gentle. I need a reminder that Max can be gentle too, like his brother. “I…I wasn’t thinking...” tears well up again, but I don’t stop, I just let them fall onto our hands in my lap, without blinking. “I dropped my purse and phone, thinking I’d tell Max that I was mugged…” I look up into his emerald green eyes. They’re not soft, but his face is, “Remember when we were mugged in the park?” He nods.

“I figured that would be ok…he’d forgive me for missing my appointment…and it was an excuse why he couldn’t reach me…just in case. But…But you weren’t home.” I sob again. I can’t help it. I’m in a desperate spot and I know it. I can’t explain away this amount of time…my phone and purse…Oh, God…he called the police! I’m not a good liar…I don’t know how I thought I could make this work!

Shit. And I feel the familiar twinge of guilt at disobeying Max’s rule about cussing, even in my own head. I cry louder.

Jake pulls me into a hug again. His embrace feels good. It shouldn’t, but it does.

Chapter 4 HIM

I walk back inside, hanging up the phone. “Your friend’s here. He’s coming up.” Jeff only nods and heads towards the door to open it. I set my empty glass down on the table and take a seat.

I’ve had clients that have had run-ins with the police before. Kids in trouble. High-profile wife in an accident injuring someone. A few civil lawsuits that started with criminal investigations. But I’ve never had the need to call a cop myself.

I don’t really know what to expect. Until Killaney walks in. And he’s exactly what I would picture. Ill-fitting suit, short, sloppy, red-faced. Alert. His eyes take everything in before focusing on me. His hand is extended before his bag is even on the table.

“Mr. Traeger. I’m sorry to meet under these circumstances.” I only mumble a hello and shake his hand. “Jeff has shared some good stories about working with you over a beer or two.”  He’s eyeing my glass and the bottle of scotch.

“Can I get you a drink, Detective?”

He licks his lips. “Well…technically, I’m not on the job right now…so, sure.” I don’t have to ask if he wants any scotch; it’s obvious. Not off to a good start, but I nod to Jeff to get another glass.

“So what did you find out so far?”

“Not much unfortunately.” He lifts his glass in cheers before taking a big drink. “I have the purse and phone bagged and we’ll hopefully pull prints pretty quick. But it looks like a simple robbery if anything. No cash, but cards were all left. Strange that the perp wouldn’t take the phone, but it’s not the latest model maybe…”

I nod. I’d already checked online for any charges to the cards. Nothing new.

“Do you have any ideas for where Lucy would be?” I only shake my head. “No friend or family she might be staying with…?”

I shake my head again, “No. I’ve already called everyone around here. Her brother and best friend. No one’s seen or talked to her today.” I stop, thinking, except
my
brother.

“Hmm…and you think they’d tell you if she was with them…?”

I don’t like where he’s going with this. “Yes, Detective.”

“I gotta ask, Max.” He takes another big drink. “Usually, in these cases, the wife will show up on her own…usually turns out to be just a fight between a husband and wife…” I don’t say anything. “Did you have a fight with your wife, Max?”

Chapter 4 HER

Jake finally pulls me away again. He gets up and grabs a few napkins for me. “Blow your nose, Rudolph.” I laugh at this. I know my face gets all red and blotchy when I cry. Max says I’m beautiful like this…when he makes me cry anyway. I try to hold my breath to stop from hiccupping, but it’s too late.

Jake laughs at me and grabs two bottles of water for us too. But he doesn’t sit back down next to me. Just keeps watching me as I drink almost half the bottle in one long gulp. “Thank you.”

“So what did you need to talk to me about so urgently that you made such a fuck-up move today?” He’s angry again. His voice with the edge, his cursing at me.

I’m feeling defensive again. “What you said this morning. We didn’t get to…to finish talking about what would happen…you left because Max would be home any minute…But I needed to know what you meant.”

He rubs his chin again before running his hand through his hair. He glares at me. “I had to tell Max about seeing you today.” He watches as the blood runs out of my face. Trouble just keeps piling up for me. “Yeah…he was pretty pissed about it.” He moves around so he’s standing right in front of me. I look up at him, through my lashes. He’s giving me a pretty good preview of the look I’ll see on Max’s face. He cups my chin with his fingers and lifts my face to him more. But he only gives me that strange look of his. Like he’s looking through me, looking for something. He drops his hand and sits on the coffee table, facing me.

I lower my chin and eyes. I know what I’m going to say will only make him more angry. “I needed to know what your Mom said to you. Why you were taking back everything that you said before.”

“That’s why you blew off your doctor’s…why you came here and didn’t tell anyone?!” I don’t need to look up to know that he’s glaring at me. I only nod. “Goddammit, Lucy!” He jumps up and heads into the kitchen.

I watch as he opens a bottle of beer from his fridge and takes a deep drink. He keeps watching me, slowing returning to sit on the coffee table again. He still has that deep frown look. I slide back a little in the sofa, away from him.

He wipes his lips and takes a deep breath. “I wasn’t taking everything back. I meant what I said before too. I do think Max is too hard on you.” I can finally look at him again. He’s only a little softer, though. “My conversation with Mom…” He sighs. “She said she knew that I struggled more than Max with how Dad was. But she hoped that I’d figure it out for myself. That tough love is still love. That’s how she put it. The man would slap her right in front of us, and she loved him. He’d treat her like a child, sending her to their room…everything he did.” He stops and looks knowingly at me. “But she loved him. She said she’s grateful that he came along. That she never knew what love and security was before him.”

“And that made you…what, rethink things?” I’m still trying to figure out what he meant this morning.

He shakes his head. “No. She did admit to all the abuse Max told you about…I even remembered a little hearing her talk…” His voice cracks at this admission. He’s never really wanted to remember anything. Max was always frustrated about this. Said Jake needed to remember to understand that things were better with Ron than without him. But Jake was too young to remember much of anything from their earliest childhood.

“She apologized to me. Said that without Dad she doesn’t know what she would’ve done…to us, to herself. That she was suicidal back then. Depressed. On and off using drugs and men to forget about the two boys she had at home who needed her.” He looks at me with watery eyes. I lean forward and put my hands over his on his knees.

“That’s how she put it. She didn’t hold anything back…maybe because I waited so long to talk to her.” He takes a deep breath. “But she told me that I need to stop blaming Dad. That she chose to stay. She chose to live by his rules, his discipline. That she’s never regretted the life she has with him. And he’s never really hurt her…not really. Just like he never really hurt us. And I know that much is true…I’m a stronger person because of Dad. Because of the love I had from Mom.”

I only nod again. I don’t know what to say. This is what I came here to find out, but…I don’t know what to think of it. Jake’s always struggled with his upbringing. It’s why I talked to him that Friday. It’s why I’ve confided in him. Because he shares my questions and gives me insights into Max…how they were both raised.

“She also told me…” He stops. His face turns from sad to stern to that odd look again so quickly; I imagine this is what Max sees when he says I’m so expressive. “She told me that I need to stop thinking that I can protect you.”

I frown. “Why would she say that?!”

“Because she knows that I care about you… And I talked about you once to her.”

“You did?” He never told me this. I’m not sure how this makes me feel…uncomfortable I guess is the easiest way to put it.

“Yeah. It was just before I bought this place.” He looks around. I know he was proud of himself for getting this place on his own, for deciding to make such a big move for himself and his business. He really wants to showcase his work here. I look around too. There’s only one light on in the kitchen, but I can see that it’s looking nice so far.

“I told her I always thought I’d wait until I had a wife by my side.” He was looking over my head, but he lowers his eyes to lock with mine. Definitely uncomfortable, but I can’t look away. “I told her that I didn’t think it was right, how Max won’t let you make any decisions for yourself…that he doesn’t appreciate having a good wife like you.”

I swallow. “What…what did your Mom say?”

“She told me that Max’s marriage was none of my business. And that I shouldn’t be thinking so much about my brother’s wife.”

I can’t think clearly. He’s too close. The room is too dark. I swallow again. But he doesn’t move away. I watch as he squeezes my hands still on his knees. I don’t lift my eyes from his fingers, but I can see his look getting sterner again. “Lucy, you came here to talk to me…and I’m glad you did. You’ve made a royal mess of everything…but it gives me a chance,” I can see and hear his frown, “Look at me, girl.” Obedient puppy, I lift my eyes and chin. “It gives me a chance to set things straight with you.” I can only swallow again and nod slightly.