True Colors (43 page)

Read True Colors Online

Authors: Joyce Lamb

Tags: #Fiction, #Suspense, #Romance, #Paranormal

BOOK: True Colors
13.64Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
“Nice place,” he said, gesturing at the small log cabin surrounded by woods alive with the songs of birds, the croaks of insects and tree frogs and the soft whisper of new leaves. “I almost missed the tiny driveway.”
“Charlie must have given you good directions.”
He nodded, hands sliding into his back pockets. “She says hi.”
Alex released a soft laugh. “I know. I just talked to her on my cell an hour ago. She didn’t mention you were coming.”
“So you get cell service here, huh? Interesting.”
“Only if you stand in a certain spot.” Guilt brought the heat of a blush. “I’m sorry I haven’t returned your calls.”
“First week, I figured, okay, you’d been through a lot. I’d give you the time and space you need. Second week . . . my patience started to wear thin. Third week, here we are.”
“I’m sorry.” She held his gaze for a long moment to make sure he knew she meant it.
He shrugged one shoulder but didn’t glance away. “Don’t be sorry. Just tell me why.”
She dropped the weight of the ax to the ground, blade first, then kicked at the broad side of the blade with the toe of her hiking boot. “I couldn’t . . . I can’t handle it, Logan. I can’t.”
“You’re not alone, Alex.”
“It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing you can do, nothing anyone can do. And how am I supposed to deal with it? Spend the rest of my life wearing long sleeves and long pants . . . and asking cashiers to put my change on the counter so I can pick it up without fear of making accidental contact?”
“We’ll figure out a way to control it. Both of us together.”
“I know it sounds that easy, but it’s not. You haven’t lived in a killer’s head. You haven’t felt what he felt, did what he did. It’s all over me, Logan. I feel . . . tainted. Maybe I’m a little crazy. I certainly
feel
a little crazy.”
“You’re not crazy, Alex. You’re human. We’re all human. And the odds of you encountering another serial killer with a stun gun are practically nonexistent. You know that, right?”
She did know that. Didn’t help. Even the tiniest possibility scared the crap out of her. And that was on top of the fear of tumbling into any random stranger’s nightmare. But instead of agreeing or disagreeing, she turned the conversation back on him. Pot, meet Kettle, and all. “So if we’re all so human, why do you feel like you killed that little boy when you didn’t?”
She watched the slow drain of blood from his face. Before turbo empathy, she would have reached out and rubbed his arm to reassure him. Now, she stayed where she was, a safe, empathic-free three feet between them.
He tunneled both hands through his hair. “I figured that’s where you went in my head the last time. I . . . was afraid maybe that’s why you ran away, because you couldn’t live with what I did.”
“Oh.” Surprise arced through her. “I’m sorry I gave you that impression, because that had nothing to do with it. In fact, I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be so repulsed about.”
“I took it upon myself to be judge and jury for Brian Lear. And then I killed him in cold blood.”
“He was pointing a gun at you.”
“I was glad for the excuse to take him out. If I’d waited for backup in the first place, maybe he wouldn’t have killed the little boy and I wouldn’t have killed Lear.”
“And maybe other people, other kids being kept prisoner there, would have died, too.”
“I know that’s logical. I just . . . I made a mistake. A
rookie
mistake. And it got an innocent kid killed.”
“I was in your head, Logan. You made a choice based on the information you had available. You feared more children would be harmed if you didn’t act quickly. In my opinion, that makes you a hero.”
“Then you have low standards,” he said, lips quirking.
“I have perspective.” She didn’t smile at his joke. “Remember: I spent some time in Butch McGee’s head, too. What happened to that little boy, and even what happened to Brian Lear, is
very
different from what Butch did to all those women over the years. The difference is
intent
. Butch was a cold-blooded killer. You’re not. And there’s no argument you can make to convince me otherwise. I’ve been both of you. And there’s a
huge
difference.”
Shaking his head, he sat down on the stump of tree she’d been using as her wood-chopping work area. “Not too many people can say that.”
“Like I said, I’m a little crazy now.”
“Thing is, what you said makes perfect sense. I never thought of it that way.”
“So you’re cured? All guilt is gone?”
He chuckled, rubbed his hands over the thighs of his jeans. “Sure. Why not?”
“Yeah, right,” she said with a smirk. “Now you’re just trying to get into my pants.”
His eyes went dark and promising. “Believe me, when I try that, you’ll know. And don’t think for a minute that I didn’t notice how you steered the conversation away from you and onto me.”
She smiled faintly. At least it worked for a while. She propped the ax against the tree stump. “Want some apple pie? I made it from scratch.”
He massaged the back of his neck with one hand. “Alex—”
“Come in and have some pie. Please?”
When he nodded, she led him inside and through the hardwood interior that had been dark when she arrived but wasn’t now, thanks to the wide-open windows that let in the sunlight and fresh air. The stone fireplace along the outer wall of the small living room still smelled of the fire she’d burned the first chilly night. It smelled like vacation and carefree times spent with her father and sisters.
In the tiny kitchen, which had a closet-sized dining area with a small wooden table and four chairs crammed around it, she cut into the pie while Logan murmured his appreciation for the homey cabin. Without asking if he wanted any, she poured coffee from a thermal carafe into two cups and put them on the table along with the plates of pie.
They sat down and dug in.
“Excellent pie,” Logan said around a mouthful.
“Thanks. It’s my Nana’s recipe.”
All so normal. Real. She liked normal and real. Needed both, especially now.
He set down his fork halfway through. “Look, Alex . . .” He trailed off, took a breath. “When all that happened in Detroit . . . afterward, my life went to hell. My mistake cost a little boy’s family more than I can ever imagine. And instead of dealing with the fallout, I bolted. I should have stayed and dealt with it. Maybe I’d be in a better place about it now.”
“I’m not running from fallout, Logan.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Look around. There’s nobody else here. Just me . . . before you got here, anyway.”
“So . . . what? You’re a recluse now?”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
“You’re going to spend the rest of your life alone, never having to risk landing in another person’s head.”
“Another person’s
nightmare
. There’s a difference. This isn’t Charlie’s brand of empathy. A quick trip, and it’s over. Mine . . . Well, in comparison, hers is easy. I mean, not easy, because none of this is easy, but it’s just not as . . . traumatic.” She blew out a frustrated sigh at her inability to make sense anymore. “You know what I mean.”
“I’ve done research, Alex. A ton of it. I probably know more about empathy now than you do. There are ways to control it. Maybe not as easy as smudging your aura or having a mantra, but there are things we can experiment with until we find what works for you. I mean, come on, can’t we at least
try
?”
She couldn’t stop the curve of her lips. “Smudging my aura?”
He shrugged with a sheepish, adorable smile. “You do it with sage.”
“Really.” She gave a serious nod. “Did you happen to bring any with you? We could make some cornbread stuffing, too.”
“You’re enjoying yourself way too much, considering.”
She sobered. He was right. Instead of appreciating his efforts to help her, she was being flip. And, God, she loved him. Her own mother hadn’t tried to help her, despite Alex’s attempts in the past couple weeks to reach out to her for answers. “Sorry,” she murmured.
He didn’t let her linger on the guilt. “Charlie and the mutts miss you, you know. Especially Dieter.”
“I miss them, too. She and Noah are going to bring the dogs up in a couple of weeks. After that, we’ll adjust. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again. I’m not going to guard the perimeter of the property with a shotgun. People can come visit.”
“What about us? You and me.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she looked away, trying hard to blink them gone before they could overflow. She missed him so much it ached in her bones. “We had a good time, Logan. Things were really good . . . and fun. And now they’re not. Now they’ve gotten all serious and dire.”
Irritation, and a touch of hurt, flashed across his face. “You think I love you just for the good times? Because that’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard.”
“You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. It’s not fair to you—”
“I don’t care about any of that,” he cut in, his voice rough. “I care about you.”
“Still, I’m not the same woman. I’ve changed.”
“Maybe we both have. I’ll accept that what I did in Detroit wasn’t my fault if you’ll give us a chance.”
“It’s not that easy—”
“Of course it’s not that easy,” he shot back. “It’s not supposed to be.”
“You’re not listening, Logan. I’m not the same person anymore.”
“And
you’re
not listening
to me
, Alex. I love you no matter who you are. Isn’t it unrealistic to expect to fall in love with someone who’s never going to change? How boring would that be, anyway?”
“Logan—”
She broke off and straightened in her chair when he stood suddenly and shoved aside the table. Before she could do or say anything, he had her by the arms and hauled her to her feet. His mouth closed over hers, and she let loose a tiny squeak before every protest, every argument, every thought, flew right out of her head.
Her knees went liquid, her breath gone as his tongue sought hers, and she grasped at his muscled arms to keep from sinking to the worn hardwood floor.
He didn’t give her time to catch her breath, didn’t let her move, his arms enfolding her, one hand tangling in her hair and tugging her head back so he could take the kiss deeper.
Her back bumped into the wall, and she realized he’d walked her the few steps backward. Now, as the air backed up in her lungs, he slid his hands under her shirt and up, rough skin on smooth, and she started to shiver even before his thumb massaged a nipple through her bra. The back of her head knocked against the wall as she dropped it back and closed her eyes.
Oh, God, she hadn’t been touched in weeks. Not even a hug or a pat on the arm, a kiss on the cheek. No one had even ruffled her hair.
She missed it. The human contact, the tactile sensations of . . . life.
She missed
Logan
.
And then he let her go. Just stopped the staggering caresses and backed off, hands falling to his sides.
Alex stared at him, panting and aching. “What are you doing?” She couldn’t care less about the telltale catches in her breathing.
“I’m leaving.” He turned on his heel and started for the door.
“Now?” Her voice rose an octave.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it? To be left alone?” He stopped and faced her, folding his arms and cocking his head, eyes narrowed with purpose. “No one around to touch you? Ever.”
“Okay, you’ve made your point. Now come back here and finish what you started.”
“First, you have to come home.”
“Wait, what? You’re not going to make love to me unless I go home with you?”
“That’s right.”
She angled a pointed look down at the bulged-out front of his jeans. “That’s going to be an uncomfortable ride back.”
“I’ve got a hand.”
“Wow, that’s cold.”
“What’s cold is making me go home without you.”
“You think you can lure me back to Lake Avalon with sex?”
“It’s not sex with us, Alex.” He strode back toward her but stopped close enough to touch, far enough away to frustrate her. “It’s love. It’s the booming finale of the fireworks on the Fourth of July. It’s rockets’ red glare and bombs bursting in air. Don’t you think for one nanosecond that I’m here just because of sex. I’m head over heels for you, and there’s no way in hell I’m going back without you, so you might as well just suck it up and agree and save us both some energy that we can spend on this.”
He tugged her forward with a hand in the waistband of her jeans, and when his mouth closed over hers, she melted against him, totally, willingly his. Wherever he wanted to go.

Other books

Out on Blue Six by Ian McDonald
La isla misteriosa by Julio Verne
Reprise by Joan Smith
Cape May by Caster, Holly
Body Games (A Games Novel) by Jessica Clare, Jill Myles
My Heart Has Wings by Elizabeth Hoy