True Colors (4 page)

****

Later, Mom and I went shopping, and she found a shoe which was fifty-percent rubber and perfect… if there was a flood.

“Mom, those look like boy shoes. How about these? They're cute and on sale,” I held up a pair of pretty suede boots. She told me to try them on and asked the salesclerk if they were waterproof. The salesclerk said they were better than bare feet, but they wouldn't keep my feet dry. Then the salesclerk showed me some ugly clunky things which made my feet look bigger than they already were. I found another pair of boots on sale, and Mom put her hand inside the boot to feel the sole.

“The sole is like paper. I could spit on it, and it'd soak right through,” she said.

“Real classy. C'mon, please? I'll wear two pairs of socks, and I'll give you some money.” I checked my pockets. “I only have seven dollars, but I've got twenty bucks at home.”

“How much are they?” she asked. I said they were half off, so, “only” thirty-nine dollars and she shook her head.

“Maybe dad will send me the money for them. He's always asking if I need anything,” I said, watching her out of the corner of my eye.

“Try these other ones on,” she said. She handed me some boots with a thick rubber sole which could almost pass for normal boots. She said she'd buy the cute boots for me if I promised to clean my room. I swore I would, and she went to pay. I knew she'd cave in if I brought up Dad. Ever since we moved, she got weird about how much money she made and how much my dad made.

****

The next day I had gym class, which I dreaded, but at least Ericka and Tori weren't in this class. We had to sit on the bleachers and listen to Coach Daly talk before we could change into our gym clothes. I always tried to sit far away from the popular boys because they can be brutal when they get together. After all, they made Tad Johnston a complete outcast. Tad had never been popular or anything, but the other guys never had a problem with him before. He used to play kickball with the guys at lunch and everything… until Kyle moved here. Tad was always kissing up to the teachers and trying to act all grown up, but nobody was ever mean to him until Kyle showed up.

I didn't think Kyle was going to fit in when he first moved here from Boston because he was short and had a weird accent. New kids either became popular right away or they never fit in at all. When Arianna Seymour moved here earlier this year, I was the first person who asked her to eat lunch with us, but since then she has moved on to cooler pastures. Then there was Thalia Zimmer. Thalia seemed to fit in when she came to visit at the beginning of the school year, but no one noticed she was alive once she started going to Hillcrest. People only paid attention to her if she brought in chocolate from her dad's candy shop.

Thalia and I always sat on the bleachers during kickball and let people take cuts in front of us. She seemed to be the only person who lied and said they had their period as much as I did in gym. She told me it wasn't like Coach Daly was going to check. All you had to do was say the word, “cramps,” and he'd let you sit the game out. In gym, we either had to play kickball in class or have a free day, which meant we could do anything we wanted as long as we were moving. However, if Coach Daly was in a bad mood, then he'd make us choose teams and play dodge ball. I was always picked second to last, and Thalia was always chosen last.

Any animal with half a brain knows it's best to get out of the way when an object comes flying at you, but I would stand there like a deer in the headlights hoping to get hit. Then I could sit down and wait for the next round of torture. There was this one time when the other team refused to hit me, and I was the last person left standing. I felt so stupid having to run after the balls by myself. I wondered if they did it to make a fool out of me. It was those days when I felt like the biggest loser on the planet. On those days I stayed away from Tad and Thalia so I wouldn't get lumped in with them.

****

I got to class and found an envelope on my desk. I hoped it was a note from Tori, but it was an invitation to Thalia's birthday party. I guess she had mentioned it in gym class, but I didn't realize the party was this Saturday. She was having it at a roller skating rink near the mall, which was weird because who roller skated anymore? And do girls our age hand out invitations to birthday parties? I hadn't been roller skating since I was eight, but it wasn't like people were begging me to go to their parties either. I pretended to do my work while I watched Kyle walk over to the pencil sharpener. He goes up there every class period just so he can walk around the room and act cool. His pencils were all little chewed up stubs, but he kept on sharpening. He stopped by Thalia's desk and asked why he couldn't come to her party. He could be such a jerk sometimes, but there was still something kinda cute about him. Thalia ignored him and he said, “Oh, you're so cool, Thalia,” and pushed her desk hard. I pretended not to notice.

When I got to history, Peyton asked me if I was invited to Thalia's party. I figured all the girls were invited, but I guess she had only invited a few people. Peyton said Thalia got the idea for the skating theme from reading about Melani Parkington's retro skating party in a fashion magazine. I was surprised Thalia even read
those magazines
, but even more surprised to hear Devon, Peyton, and India were all planning to go. I asked Thalia who else she invited to see if Tori and Ericka were going to be there. Thalia said she invited Ericka, but she wasn't sure if she was coming because she had a basketball game. Things were looking up. The basketball games always lasted forever, and I figured Ericka wouldn't bother going to the party because she thought Thalia was a “loser.”

Later, I found out India's mom was driving Peyton and Devon to the party. I hoped India would ask me to ride with them, but nobody offered. I couldn't get too excited about the party because all I could think about was walking into the skating rink by myself. Everybody always went to those things in a group. Only losers walked in alone.

I decided to call India after school and pretend I forgot which questions to do for class. Then I brought up the party. India asked if I was going and I said I wanted to, but I wasn't sure if my mom could drive me. Unfortunately, she got a call on the other line. India switched back, and she said it was for her mom.

“We can pick you up on Saturday if you need a ride,” she said.

Yes, yes, yes. I wouldn't have to walk in by myself like a loser.

I stayed up late on Friday worrying about what to wear to the party. I took a quick shower in the morning and got ready while my mother searched the house for wrapping paper and tape. She ended up putting the purse we bought for Thalia in a gift bag my grandma used for my present last Christmas.

“Mom, it has a bear wearing a Santa outfit on it,” I said.

“It's the thought, and we spent a lot on the purse,” Mom said.

India's mom pulled up, and Devon's face lit up when she saw me. She held up her present, which was covered with Hanukah wrapping paper.

“At least we'll be losers together,” she said. “Maybe we can pretend we did it on purpose.”

I hadn't been on roller skates in forever, but it sorta came back to me. India and Devon requested songs, while Peyton and I skated around the rink. I sat next to Thalia and Peyton when we ate lunch, and I was having a great time until I looked up and saw Ericka standing by the door.

“Thalia, I thought you said Ericka had a game today,” I said.

“Yeah, but she was going to come afterward if there was time,” Thalia said as she waved Ericka over. There was only one empty seat, and it was across from me so I couldn't pretend Ericka wasn't there. Devon and India got up to go to the bathroom just as Peyton got up to get more pizza. I went to talk to Thalia, but she had her back to me. I glanced across the table, but Ericka wouldn't even look at me.

“There was a huge line,” Devon said as she sat back down. “Did we miss dessert?”

I shook my head, and Thalia's dad starting passing out cupcakes with blue frosting. I sat there focused on my cupcake while everyone talked around me. I couldn't wait to get away from Ericka.

Thalia's grandma gave us gift bags as we left, and we tore into them in the van. If parties were based on gift bags then this was the best party ever. Most of the time you get some cheap candy, a pencil, and a hair thing from the dollar store, but this bag had a music gift card, a lollipop, a tube of Little Rose lip gloss, some gum, and a glitter pencil.

“Devon, what color gloss did you get? I got ‘Coral Ya Later',” Peyton said. Devon had “You Look Mauve-ulous,” India had “Little Bo Pink,” and I had “Jumpin' Jack Frost.”

“This party was worth it for the gift bag alone,” India said, turning up the radio. “I love this song.”

It was the new Havana Carys single, and they all sang along. I felt dumb singing, so I just sat back and listened.

****

Later, I was spreading out all of the stuff I got at the party on my dresser when Mom came in to see if I had her favorite basketball team sweatshirt. I had gotten a huge grape jelly stain on it last week and had hidden it in the back of my closet where she'd never find it.

“How was the party?” she asked, peering under my bed.

“Good.”

Did Thalia like the purse?” she asked.

“I guess.”

The phone rang, and I answered it since mom was still underneath my bed.

“Hey, kiddo,” Dad said. “How's school going?”

“I went to a party today,” I said, thinking it wasn't a good idea to tell him I bombed the last two math quizzes.

“Did ya have a good time?” he asked.

“Yeah, I'll go get Mom.”

Mom was in a bad mood when she got off the phone. I asked if we could order a pizza and she almost took my head off, so I settled for a chicken potpie I found in the freezer. I hoped my dad would call back so they'd make up, but the phone never rang. Why couldn't my stupid parents get along?

On Monday, I decided to walk to the bus stop after I saw Devon was already waiting there. She was finishing up a protein bar and offered me a bite from the other end. The apple kind makes me gag, but I took a bite just to annoy Tori, who was watching me. Devon wiped the crumbs off her mouth and looked in her backpack for her compact. Tori let her borrow a mirror, and Devon put on the gloss we got at Thalia's party. Devon handed me the mirror. I hadn't eaten my lip gloss off, but I made a big deal of reapplying it anyway. Tori snatched the mirror back as the bus drove up.

In homeroom, Ms. Ashcroft got called down to the office and told us to pair off and quiz each other. Thalia had the bag I gave her hanging on the back of her chair.

“I'm glad everybody ended up coming to the party. Well, everybody except Arianna. She had to watch her brothers,” Thalia said as she drew a heart with her highlighter. “She said she was babysitting anyway.”

Mrs. Hearst came in the room to make sure we weren't hanging from the ceiling while Ms. Ashcroft was on the phone. We pretended to be working as Mrs. Hearst watched us with pursed lips and narrowed eyes. I wondered what Thalia meant by her comment because I thought everybody liked Arianna. Arianna had this beautiful curly strawberry blonde hair. I wondered if she used the highlighting stuff you activate with a hairdryer to make it lighter. People were always trying to do stuff for her. Even Yasmin McCarty, who had been the most popular girl before Arianna moved here, wanted to hang out with Arianna. So Arianna had abandoned Ericka, Tori, and me for Yasmin's crowd the second they showed any interest in her.

“Do you mind if I sit with those guys at lunch?” she had asked us. “It's just for today.”

And then she switched tables and never came back. She'd talk to me once in a while in class or give me one of her cutesy waves where she made bunny ears. At least she didn't ignore me when I sat at her table in science last month when my partner was sick. I wondered what she'd do if I asked if I could eat lunch with her? Even if she said I could, I'm sure Yasmin would stare me down until I left or Stuart would ask me if I got lost on my way to the losers' table.

After class, we went to the theater for a presentation, and Thalia and I sat together in the back row. I saw Ericka and Tori sitting together, and Ericka was whispering to her. Tori started laughing, and Ericka sat back with a smirk on her face. The presentation was some stupid science guy with fuzzy white hair sticking up all over. The science guy asked for a volunteer, and I shrank down in my seat as Arianna ran up on stage.

“She's so fake,” Thalia said, rolling her eyes.

“Who?”

“Arianna. I mean, she's Yasmin's friend, but Kyle drools over her in math class and she encourages him.”

“I dunno, she sits by Kyle and maybe Yasmin doesn't mind,” I said.

“Please, I once borrowed a pen from Yasmin and she stood over me while I used it. Trust me, the girl doesn't share well.” Thalia pulled out a cherry cough drop from her purse and offered me one. “I invited Arianna to my party because her mom works for my dad, but it bugs me how everybody thinks she's so great.”

Crazy science guy sprayed Arianna with some water, and everyone started laughing. I noticed Ericka was hanging on Tori. After the show, I overheard Ericka say the science guy was my real dad.

“They have the same hair,” she said, laughing. Tori found this hilarious. So I have pale hair. Big deal. I felt like pointing out that unlike Tori and Ericka's fathers, at least my dad had hair. Tori had seen my dad before and knew he had light brown hair, but did she speak up for me? Nope.

****

Later, I watched Arianna and Kyle in class, and he was flirting with her. He'd do something stupid, look over at Mrs. Lacey's desk, and then they'd laugh all silent-like. Ha ha, you're killing me. Then he shredded little pieces of paper and stuck them in the heating vent by the window. Arianna put her hands over her mouth like this was the funniest thing ever. Two minutes later, the heater made a weird noise and paper shot out of it. They almost wet themselves. Thalia looked over at me and rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Lacey walked over to the vent and looked at Kyle, who was now all innocent and doing his work. She sighed and said we were going to change seats. Fabulous. All I needed was to wind up sitting next to Ericka. Mrs. Lacey put Kyle right in front of her desk and moved Ericka across from him. Then she put me behind Kyle and next to Arianna. Kyle leaned back in between Arianna and me.

“I'm going to have to come over here a lot since I'm stuck at a loser table,” he said.

I knew Ericka had heard him, and I wondered if he lumped me in with her even though she wasn't speaking to me. Kyle reached over, took my pencil, and went up to the sharpener.

“I don't know how you could write with it so dull,” he said, handing it back to me. Arianna said she only used mechanical pencils.

“Yeah, but yours is boring,” he said. “Landry's is cool.” Was he making fun of my glitter pencil? I had taken the dangling kitten face off it, but maybe he knew it was supposed to be on there. He showed me his hologram pencil and said we should trade for the day. I still wasn't sure if he was trying to make a fool out of me, but I switched with him. I just hoped he didn't get glitter in his eye, go blind, and then try to sue me.

I was walking to my next class when somebody stepped on the back of my shoe and pulled it off my heel. I squished my foot around my shoe until it slipped back on. Then it happened again. I pretended not to notice, but I heard Ericka's voice so I hurried into the science room. I sit next to Hana, but she wasn't there yet, so I sat down and opened my notebook. Stuart Graham walked over and sat in the seat across from me. Okay, what's this?

“Hey Landry,” he said, taking Kyle's pencil out of my hand. “I heard you like somebody in here.”

Tori was staring out the window, but Ericka was watching us. My eyes burned. Okay, ignore me, but don't humiliate me. I never should have told Tori I thought Kyle was cute.

“Hey, gimme my pencil.” I looked up, and Kyle grabbed his pencil back from Stuart. “Landry, don't let a loser like Stuart touch my stuff.” Stuart punched him on the arm, and Mrs. Tamar walked in with Devon and Hana behind her.

“Everybody in your seats. Now.” Mrs. Tamar snapped the screen down over the board and flipped on the overhead machine.

“I'm having the worst day,” Devon said. “I had to take Jay to the office ‘cause he wasn't feeling well, and then he puked in the hall.” She squinted at the board. “What's it say? Am-what?”

“Amphibian. What happened?” I asked, moving my chair further away from her. The stomach flu was my biggest fear in life. Well, tied with finding a centipede in my food.

“The secretary paged Mr. Ivanov to clean it up, and Jay went home.”

All day long I freaked out every time my stomach hurt because I thought I was getting the flu. I was walking to the bus when Kyle asked me for the math homework. I pulled out my binder, and papers went flying everywhere. Smooth. He picked up the stuff next to his feet, while I chased after a book report.

“Um, it's in here somewhere,” I said. I flipped through the pages, but it was hard to balance my binder on my knee.

“It's no big deal. I can get it from someone else,” he said and ran toward his bus. At least he didn't laugh at me. When I got on the bus I heard Ericka say, “Nice job, Gracie.” It took me a minute to figure it out. I slid down in my seat and pulled out my notebook. I started writing so no one would bug me. Mom always tells me to focus on positive things, so I wrote Kyle was nice to me and I liked my new seat in Mrs. Lacey's class. Maybe Arianna would even ask me to sit at her lunch table. It would show my old friends when popular people like Kyle and Arianna wanted to hang out with me.