True Bliss (28 page)

Right on cue, Mac walks into the room and comes straight up to me, pulling me up for a hug.

“I'm sorry, hon. I really am. I thought you two were made for each other. Him being the big protector, you being the dreamer wanting to be looked after.” She's crying now too. “Damn this leaky eye syndrome. I blame you, Superman.” I bet she's glaring at him over my shoulder.

“Hey, don't bring me into this,” he says, looking at both of us and laughing.

“Now, how about I take you ladies out for breakfast? Then we can give Kate some time to think about what she's going to do.”

“Sounds like a plan, Superman,” I say before I crack up laughing, realizing what I said.

“You're a poet and you didn't even know it,” Mac retorts, giggling while Daniel just looks at the roof and mutters something inaudible.

Until I have to, I'm not going to think about anything beyond my friends and breakfast.

I'm going to give my heart a break.

ZANDER

Twenty-four hours and there has been no word from Kate. No replies to my text messages, no calls. I haven't even heard from Mac. If this is what Hell feels like, then I will never sin again.

I miss her smile, the way she lights up a room whenever I'm near her, the warmth around me when I'm holding her in my arms at night. Fuck, I sound like a girl, but I don't care. I need to get her back. I just need a chance to explain, an opportunity to make this whole mess up to her.

Samantha, who is now my partner, keeps complaining that I'm distracted and a liability. I sort my head out after that and focus on the job, but when I get back to Zach's apartment, it's a different story. I'm so used to coming home to Kate that the apartment seems cold, eerily quiet. My mind keeps wondering what Kate is doing, whether she is okay, and if she is still pissed off at me. The lack of communication has me leaning toward yes.

How can I make it up to her?

Her reaction and her words last night cut me like a knife. I knew the whole nightdancer thing would bite me in the ass. I just kept hoping that she'd give me the chance to explain, but looking back I know nothing would have helped. It was never my intention to carry on talking to her once I moved in, but after our first kiss where I pretty much told her we were going on a date, my curiosity took over, and I wondered where her head was at.

I want to ring Zoe or Mia and get their opinion, but I know that they'd kick my ass for hurting Kate. They fell in love with her over the weekend they visited, and I don't know if I can bear another ear bashing from a female I love right now.

I'm glad Kate went to Mac's. I felt better knowing she is safe. The natural protector in me wants to march over there and bring her back home.

Sunday night I can't control myself. I go to Kate's apartment and knock on the door. I just want to see her, check she is okay. I called out to her, even begged her to answer the door, but she didn't come.

If she needs space I can give her space, just don't expect me to give her too much. I need to show her that I'm sincere; that the internet dating fuck up was only so I could get to know her, get close to her. I need to tell her that I've wanted her since I met her, but I just didn't think I deserved her at that point in time.

She told me that she thought she'd found the one. Well, I need to prove to her that she isn't wrong. I want to be everything she wants and needs me to be, and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be more than that. I meant what I said to her that night when I denied myself a night with her. She deserves a lifetime of making love.

I'm going to prove that I'm the one to give it to her.

A week has passed with no word from Kate. My daily phone calls are still going unanswered as are my text messages. I'm struggling with the silent treatment. I fully expected her to call me and give me an earful. I'm starting to think I've underestimated how much I've hurt her, so on Monday morning, nine days since I moved out, I grab a moment to call a florist near Kate's salon. I order a single pink rose to be sent to her at work for every day this week. It's a small gesture, but I hope that the cards I've asked to be sent with each delivery will get my message across to her. Slowly but surely I'm determined to show her how I feel.

Sam and I have to stop by a nightclub on Division Street to do a bail check. Seems the owner of the club got into a bit of strife recently and was released on bail under his brother's watch. Sam tells me on the way over there that the brother is some attorney claiming to have no knowledge of whatever dodgy dealings his brother is into. Detectives have looked into his brother, but he's squeaky clean.

We arrive outside the club-the name seems familiar to me for some reason, but I can't pick it. I look at the rap sheet of the guy we're checking in on, Ryan Miller. Nope, don't know the guy from Adam. He's thirty years old and owns half of this nightclub along with his brother, Sean Miller. Fuck, that name is familiar. Why do I…

Holy shit.

No way is this the attorney that Mac used to sleep with. She told me one night about Sean and his 'club' that had, in her words, 'hot as hell' VIP rooms upstairs catering for varied sexual proclivities. Fuck.

Conflict of interest, no. Comfort factor, zero.

“Um, Sam, I know of the brother, the attorney.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Friend of a friend. I think he's on the up and up, but this isn't just a nightclub. It's also a fetish club. I haven't seen it myself, but by all accounts there are VIP rooms upstairs that get rather busy at night if you know what I mean.”

Sam seems a little ruffled by my revelation. “Well, it doesn't matter. We're here to check on Mr. Miller, the younger Mr. Miller, and then go on our way. There's no need to linger. Just make our presence known, check that everything is in order, then leave. You okay with that, Roberts?”

I notice that she's blinking a lot more than usual. She seems to take a minute, close her eyes and take a deep breath before opening them again. “Stop staring and get out of the car. We're not here to fuck spiders.”

I burst out laughing. Sam is very dry at the best of times, but occasionally she says something that cracks me up. “Yes, Ma'am,” I say, adding a mock salute to my senior partner.

We get out of the car, and I check my belt, making sure everything is where it should be. Sam squares her shoulders and takes a deep breath before knocking on the door. When there is no answer, she turns the handle and pushes it open. “Hello? Chicago PD. We're just here to see Mr. Ryan Miller.”

“Through here,” a voice bellows from behind the dark bar. The whole place is dark, the only light coming from behind the bar and from a few low lights scattered around the edge of the large dance floor. I take a few moments to take stock of my surroundings. This place is freaking insane. I look up and see the dancefloor is surrounded by a second floor of mirrored glass. If you were up there, you'd have the false impression that everyone could see you. Suddenly, there are images flashing through my head of Kate and I fucking against the glass, and the fantasy of everyone watching me with my girl makes me instantly hard.

Fuck. Not the time, dude. Calm it the fuck down.

I look over at Sam who is standing in front of me with her eyebrow raised. “You quite alright there, Roberts? You were a million miles away.”

“Sure. Just checking out the place.”

“Right...okay then, let's find the guy and get out of here. Too dark for my liking,” she mutters, her voice losing her normal air of authority. Samantha Richards is a tough nut, a ball buster at the best of times. Her sandy blonde hair is always up in a tight bun, never a wayward hair or a crease in her uniform. She's strictly by the book. It's taken a month for her to relax a little around me. She's told me that she asked the Captain to assign me to her because she thought we'd work well together, and we do, but god I wish she'd just let loose sometimes. I'd also love to know who stuck a stick up her ass to cause her to be so unmoved and rigid. That woman screams out a need to get laid, sooner rather than later.

“I'm over at the bar. Come in,” the same male voice calls out to us.

When we reach the bar, a brown haired, well-built man stands up, startling us. “I guess you'd be looking for me. I'm just stocking up the bar. That's allowed, isn't it?” This guy is all attitude. These kind of perps are always a challenge, something I've learned since working general patrol after I graduated.

“Mr. Miller, I'd recommend you lose the chip on your shoulder. We're just here to check in,” Sam states in her matter-of-fact cop voice.

“Right. It's not as if I can run off anywhere is it? I have a club to keep open so that I don't piss my brother off even more. So if I'm not here, I'll be at my brother's house. You know, the address I was bailed to.”

“There's no need for the attitude, Mr. Miller. Is your brother around?” Sam's body is tense as she looks around for the other Miller brother.

“Nope, but he'll be in later no doubt. He has a day job too, you know. Should I tell him you called by asking for him?” His telling smirk is aimed straight at Sam, and her body goes stiff as a board.

What's THAT about? Now I'm intrigued. I know Sean Miller is a dominant and likes to practice light BDSM...well, he did with Mac. She told me that she'd meet up with him when she had the urge to submit, but I've never considered the fact that Sam might be into that stuff. If she is, she'd definitely be a dominatrix. She's wound so tight that she probably needs to whip men in order to feel control. I shudder at the thought as I'm brought back into reality.

Sam clears her throat, and I see her shoulders square up. “Right. Well, Mr. Miller, as long as you abide by your bail conditions, I don't think we'll have a problem. We'll pop in later in the week to see you again.”

“I'll be here ready and waiting, officer. Oh, and I'll make sure I tell my brother you were here, Sammy.”

“I…” Sam's face goes blank as she swallows hard and gives Ryan the exact reaction he was looking for. Whatever the reason, I'm not going to let it slide.

“That's enough, Mr. Miller. We'll see you soon.” I grab Sam's hand and pull her toward the door. She snatches her hand back as we get outside.

“What did you do that for? I had it under control!” She glares at me as we stand in the middle of the sidewalk.

“I did what I had to do to snap you out of it. What he said about his brother rattled you, so I got you the hell out of there. It's what partners do.”

“Right. Well thanks, but no thanks. I don't need your help in the future.”

I chuckle as we get back in the car and drive back to the station.

Even if my personal life is in tatters, at least I can count on work to keep life interesting.

KATE

I'm a coward. I know I am. Mac told me I am.

Daniel is a bit more reserved when it comes to my love life. After his talk to me the morning, after everything went down with Zander, he's remained tight lipped on the whole situation.

Last Sunday night, I sat on the floor crying behind the front door as Zander knocked and called out to me. He even begged me to let him explain. He said he missed me and that he never meant to hurt me. That made me feel even worse. How can I come back from this?

Mac sat down with me Sunday afternoon and explained everything. How he'd asked if I was on Chicago Singles. How the night we had pancakes for dinner he had texted her asking if she knew why I was so upset. And finally, how he never told her about the night he saved me from that asshole in the bar.

Now I feel like a complete idiot. I had him, and I sent him away. I told him that he should be gone when I got back. I ignored his texts and calls. And this week, a single pink rose has been delivered to me at the salon with a different message attached to them.

Monday - “The first night we met, you were wearing the most gorgeous purple dress. Your hair was pulled back and pinned, with waves of curls floating down your back. I knew that night that I wanted to deserve a woman like you.”

Tuesday - “When I brought you home from the bar, and you kissed me, it was the best first kiss I've ever had in my life. Our second best first kiss was in the kitchen after pancakes. Kate and maple syrup are my favorite topping. I love you.”