Trouble Triangle (Tyler's Trouble Trilogy) (41 page)

"Don't be ridiculous. How can you give someone cancer?"

"I willed it on her. I used my mind to do it. I didn't mean too."

"Now stop that. You can't kill someone through mental telephoning." She stood up. "Get packed. I bought you a plane ticket for tomorrow. I'll take you to the airport. So, get your things ready and I'll pick you up at nine." She kissed me on the cheek. "You
gonna
be okay?"

I nodded. Another lie.

"See you tomorrow." She got up and walked to the door.

"Holly?"

She turned to look at me as she stood in the doorway.

"I love you."

She smiled, blew me a kiss, and left.

#

Ten days later, Holly was at the airport to pick me up and drove me back to base.

"How was it?" she asked.

"Sad. Me and a group of church ladies standing around a grave. Shit. Dad didn't even turn up." I sighed deeply. "At least neither of us has anyone else left to die and screw up our wedding plans again. How have you been?"

"Like, okay, considering everything. It's been quite tough lately."

"You can say that again. We'll have to go see Noah again and get another date."

"Let's not think about that right now." She kept her eyes fixed firmly ahead on the road.

She dropped me off at my barracks. We kissed and agreed to meet at her house later that night. Luckily I came back on a Saturday. It gave me some time to regroup before having to go back to work.

After dropping everything in the room, I took a shower and got dressed. I lay on the bed trying to focus on how happy I would be once Holly and I got married; but guilt and sadness kept gripping me.

A knock at the door forced me out of bed. I'd be glad of some company to keep my mind off my mind. I opened it to find Debbie standing there.

"Can I come in?"

Opening the door and standing aside, I let her in. She walked past me and sat at the table. I joined her. She pulled out a cigarette and offered me one.

"No thanks, I quit," I said.

"You what? I don't believe it."

"Can't be smoking around a baby, so I gave it up."

"Well, good for you." She lit up. "Sorry about your mom, Tyler. I mean that." She widened her eyes
and pressed her lips together.

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

"I know the timing sucks, and I am sorry, but I'm afraid I have some more bad news for you." She offered me a cigarette again.
"You sure you don't want one?"

I shook my head.

She took a drag, leaned in and
blew
smoke in my face. "Check mate."

I waved the smoke away. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I captured your queen." She leaned back and smirked.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Queen Holly. We're back together again. This time for good."

I waved my hand back and forth. "Get
outta
here. She hates your guts. And we're getting married." I leaned in, resting my arms on the table. "You really do live in a dream world, don't
ya
? We're in love, we're getting married and she's having my baby. And she's not gay."

"She sure acted pretty gay when you went off to Kahoolawe." She took a drag and smiled big. "It's like this, Tyler boy. You treated me like something you stepped in. I want you to suffer. What's the best way to do that? Take your prized possession. Holly. You wouldn't play the game, so I seduced Holly. We were at it while you were out picking up shells."

I looked at her through narrowed
eyes. "You're a fucking liar."

"We had a great time while you were gone, but she said she couldn't carry on because of her dad. She wanted to, but she wanted Daddy's fortune too much. Oh, I was going to wreck your wedding one way or another."

"So you told her about us, did you?"

"Nope, didn't have to, but I would have. She might not have been so receptive if she knew I was sleeping with her boyfriend. But you know what? I was willing to make that sacrifice if it meant hurting you. Now with Daddy dead, she doesn't have to please him anymore."

I felt sick. What she said made sense. "Yeah, but we arranged another wedding date after he died."

"Yeah, I got a bit worried about that." She took a drag and flicked her ash in the ashtray. "I was going to tell her about us the night before the wedding. You know, for maximum effect. Your mom dying bought me some time. So, while you were attending her funeral, I seduced her again and convinced her she doesn't have to live for Daddy's approval anymore. Face it, Tyler, she's a dyke. She would hav
e accepted it sooner or later."

"But we're having a baby. She's not going to give that up to go play happy homos with you." My stomach churned.

She twirled her cigarette. "We got it all worked out. It's amazing what you can come up with in ten days. Holly's going to get out at the end of her enlistment. Before then, she's going to report that she caught me in a lesbian act. I'll get kicked out, and she and I will raise the baby. Don't worry, I'll take good care of junior for
ya
." She smiled triumphantly.

"
Naw
, Holly would never do this to me. We got plans."

"Well, scrap '
em
bud. She let me tell you all this to soften the blow. She'll confirm it when you see her tonight. So don't be expecting any pussy. That's my department now."

"Yeah, right. Two lesbians raising my baby. You'll never get away with it."

"Well, we haven't decided if we're cousins or sisters yet, you know, in public like, but it'll look legit. Who knows, maybe in ten or twenty years' time society will accept us for who we are."

"But I'm the father. I have rights." Oh shit. This was getting scary. She sounded so confident, but this was so devious. Surely Holly wouldn't do this to me.

"You may have rights, but Holly's due to inherit fifteen million dollars."

My mouth dropped. I sat there speechless.

She ran her hand through her hair. "That can hire some brilliant lawyers. And, you'll have to find us. We won't be staying in Hawaii, and we won't be going to Oregon. So the odds of finding us is forty-eight to one." She placed her finger on her cheek. "Make that forty-seven. I think it's safe to rule out Kentucky." She laughed.

"Fifteen million." I took a deep breath and tried to appear calm. "Nope, you're a lying bitch," I said matter of
factly
. "Holly loves me and we're getting married. So fuck off and get out." I rose to my feet, walked to the door and opened it.

Debbie crushed her cigarette in the ashtray, got up and walked up to me standing inches from my face. She spoke with cigarette saturated breath. "Sorry, Tyler. You lose." She walked out with a swagger in her step.

I slammed the door behind her.
Bitch, bitch, bitch! Lying fucking bitch!
She lived in a fantasy world that didn't exist. I had to see Holly to confirm that Debbie was delusional. I hopped on the bus and went to her apartment.

#

Standing at her front door, my mind went back to other times I had stood there waiting for her to answer. Meeting her dad, finding Debbie standing there, and the time she dropped to her knees and unzipped me in the hallway for all to see. This was a door of mystery as to what may happen next. I knocked.

She answered wearing baggy jeans and a non-revealing sweatshirt. If this was meant to be seductive, it didn't work.

"You're early," she said, opening the door.

My shoulders slumped as we walked to her couch. All I wanted was to hear was Holly scream, 'That lying bitch'. And then scream in ecstasy as I rammed my hot, throbbing…. One thing at a time
.

We sat, both staring ahead, not speaking. It felt awkward and tense. No welcoming kiss, no offer of a drink. Oh shit. I didn't like it.

"Is it true?" I whispered.

Several moments passed before she answered. "Yes."

I looked to the ceiling. "God?" I asked. "Please strike me down now."

She laid her hand on my leg. "Tyler, I'm really, really sorry. I can't tell you how bad I feel."

I snapped my head to look at her. "Then why do it? You don't want to be a lesbian. And you're not. We've had amazing sex, and you're having my baby. We're suited. Two peas on the farm, remember?"

She drew a deep breath. "Tyler, I'm really sorry. We've had a great time and I love you. But I've always been gay, I've just been fighting it. It's been like I've been an alcoholic in a bar drinking orange juice when I really wanted whiskies. Daddy put so much pressure on me to be the pure daughter and give him grandchildren. He raised me single-handedly and I wanted to please him. I needed his approval. But I've been living a lie. When I was fifteen, I saw the head cheerleader…well, she was the second, I was the head cheerleader. Anyway, I saw her in the school shower, naked with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. I instantly got wet and knew it turned me on. I tried to ignore it, but I still have images of her in my mind."

"Holly, you can't do this. What about your dad? His legacy? And the fact that I love you."

She gently laid her hand on my cheek. "I'm sorry, Tyler, but I don't have to live a lie anymore. Hey," she lovingly looked into my eyes, "I've had a great time. You're special, the father of my baby, but it's over. If Daddy hadn't died, things would be different. But I would have gone back to women eventually. I can't help it. It's the way I'm made."

"Holly, please. I love you. Don't do this." I looked at her. "We can make it work. And what
about the baby? I have rights."

She brushed my cheek. "Sorry, Tyler, I have to be true to myself for once." She pasted on a smile. "I do care about you, but to have you in my life would be too painful. Look at it this way, you will be the last man I'll ever have. Yes, I do love you. The baby will be fine. I have plenty of money and won't ever come after you for child support or anything. You don't want to be lumbered with a baby. You're too young and still want to have fun. Don't hate me." She kissed me, then leaned back, looking deep into my eyes. "Goodbye, Tyler. You'll always be special to me."

It seemed futile to try and argue with her. I started to tell her about Debbie and me, then realized that would make me just as bad as Debbie. As it stood, she still respected me. An admission of infidelity may or may not destroy their relationship, but she'd still be gay. I was the one who cheated on her, not Debbie. It would only serve to give her a reason to hate me, and I wanted her to tell the baby nice things about his or her father. She and Deb
bie had everything planned out.

I didn't want to live any more. I walked to the door and opened it, then looked back at her. "I love you, Holly."

She smiled, and her eyes welled up.

#

I stopped at the liquor store on the way back to base and bought a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Jack Daniel's. Once back in the room, I lit up and poured myself a large one. The whiskey burned as it slid down my throat, but it was a small step in the healing process. I'd never get over Holly. She'd be taking my kid somewhere and I'd probably never see it. But she had the money to look after it.

It felt like a hand had reached inside me and pulled my guts out. Pure emptiness harbored beneath my skeleton. I wished God would strike me down to relieve the pain. Hell seemed a better option than living with this kind of misery
. I took another burning drink.

Mark came in and sat at the table with me, pouring himself a drink.

"You okay?" he asked. "Lori told me what happened. Man, that's tough."

"What do you think? Life as I know it is over. No mom, wife, girlfriend, baby and no point." I eyed my whiskey, then looked at Mark. "I really fucked this up. I'm never getting involved with another woman ever again."

"Hey, if you're turning gay, I'm moving out." He smiled.

An unexpected laugh came out. "No, probably not. But I'm never, ever going to vest emotions in a woman again."

Mark and I talked over how to best handle the situation. He offered me encouragement. We finished the whiskey and I went to bed, knowing what I had to do Monday morning.

#

I asked Petty Officer Watkins for permission to see Lieutenant Johnson on Monday. He made the phone call and my request was granted. On the way over to his office I wondered what I'd say to Holly. Probably nothing.

Walking into her office, relief swept over me when I discovered she wasn't at her desk. I knocked on Lieutenant Johnson's door.

"Enter," his voice called out.

I went in and stood in front of his desk. "Thank you for seeing me, Lieutenant. I'd like to request a transfer, sir."

He remained seated. "And why's that?"

"Well, sir, I have another six months left here, but the place is haunting me. As you know, I sat here when you told me my mom died. Now, my girlfriend who lived on the island just committed suicide. This place reeks of death for me. Sir, I respectfully request to be transferred to a ship. One that's going to sea for a very, very long time. I don't care if I ever see land again." I looked him in the eyes. "Please, sir. This place holds so many bad memories for me. I'm afraid I'll go loony if I have to stay here."