Trouble in Paradise (15 page)

“I’m hungry,” Fab said.

“I’m calling my mother,” I said.

Fab rolled her eyes. “How old are you? You’re leaving me
here?”

“Stop looking at me like that. Mother can take me for a
bathroom run and then you. What do you want to eat? I’ll give her our food order.”

“Madeline’s not going to like this,” Fab warned.

“That doesn’t mean she’s not going to help us.”

With the back seat folded down, there was plenty of room for
two. Once Mother arrived, she’d have it all to herself.

“Wake up!” I yelled at Fab. “The truck is headed out the
driveway.” Damn, I’d dozed off on my turn as look out. “I saw two women in the
van when it went by.”

“What the hell time is it?” Mother yelled from the back.
“What about my car?”

Fab squealed the tires in reverse as the truck pulled out
onto the street.

“Call your boyfriend and have it delivered to my house,” I
told her.

“Really, Madison, we’re just friendly.”

“La, la, la.” I put my fingers in my ears. “I don’t want to
hear any details.”

“Where do you suppose they’re going at this hour?” Mother
asked.

It didn’t take long for Fab to catch up. The streets were
deserted at three in the morning.

“I hope it’s someplace close,” Fab said. “I’m tired of this
job.”

“Please tell me she’s not getting on the turnpike again,” I
grumbled.

“Nope, she’s turning,” Fab said. “What the hell is out
here?”

“I know where we are,” I said. “Opa-locka Flea Market, one
of the best ones in Miami. That’s how they’re getting rid of their inventory.”

“Since when do flea markets open this early?” Fab asked.

“They open to vendors. You need to set-up your space and be
ready for business when the gates open. The earlier you line up, the better
selling space you get,” I told her.

“This isn’t going to be so bad after all,” Mother said.

“Oh great, two flea goers. Have you forgotten we’re here to
work?” Fab asked.

“We can do both,” Mother informed her.

The truck made a U-turn and pulled into the line of trucks
waiting to get in.

“According to my phone, there’s a Waffle House two blocks
north on this street. I can smell the coffee from here,” I told Fab. “Look,
Mother, that hamburger stand says it’s out of boy toys. I guess you’ll have to
share yours.”

Fab and I laughed. Mother hit each of us in the back of the
head.

“How are we going to find them now? Amongst all this junk?”
Fab looked around in disgust.

“We both know what they look like and I have one of their
pictures on my phone. We split up and look for beauty supplies. Whoever finds
them first calls the other,” I said.

“I can’t be seen. I met the daughter at the warehouse,” Fab
said. “Without photos he’ll never believe a word of this mess.”

“Madison and I can shop the space, ask questions,” Mother
suggested.

“I’ll take some close up photos of the inventory,” I said.

“I’m so ready to go home.” I called Fab and told her to meet
us. “We need to drop Mother off at her car.”

“I found two Bakelite vintage cuff bracelets. One has a
hidden watch, so this wasn’t totally awful,” Mother said.

My well-groomed mother was showing the effects of being up
most of the night. Her white pants were wrinkled with dirt on them. I didn’t
look much better. My skirt and top looked slept in, and I felt grimy. A
twenty-four stakeout appeared to have no visible ill effects on Fab.

“Well?” Fab said.

“Turns out, they’re cousins,” I said. “They complained about
not making enough money on their day jobs to support their kids. Same space
every weekend, selling brand names, dirt cheap. They said they have a
connection for overruns. According to them, sales are brisk; they’re very
popular, have regular customers, and they sell out most every weekend.”

“I hate this job,” Fab said. “If I don’t tell her father,
he’ll hire someone who will. Besides, I want to get paid. I’ll demand my
payment up front, hand over a sealed envelope with the report and pictures and
split before Norman can get it open.”

Tonight was the official girls’ night out. My posse of five
had RSVP’d affirmatively to their invitations to dinner at the Crab Shack. I
was nervous as a cat with a jumpy stomach. No one could find out in advance the
real plans I had for the evening.

The waiter had cleared the plates after dinner. “This is
fun, all of us together.” I beamed as I took in the little group. If the
evening blew up in my face, I’d finger point and tell them they were to blame
for me having to trick them.

“Madison is up to something.” Fab looked tropical chic in a
black print wrap skirt, showing her right leg from her ankle to her hip.

“No fighting at the table.” Mother was the only one not
dressed in black, and her red, belted dress screamed ‘Notice me!’

No one listened to Fab’s warning. The waiter delivered
drinks to the table, stopping conversation momentarily.

“Anything new at The Cottages?” I asked Mac and Julie. Mac
had squeezed into an all-black skimpy Catholic schoolgirl outfit. 

“Liam is mad he couldn’t come,” Julie said. “He made me
promise not to forget anything. He wants details.”

“You’re not making eye contact, Mac, so what’s up?” I asked.

“Kibble and Barbie got into another knockdown, drag out.”
Mac let out a sigh. “Thankfully the police didn’t show up. I had a front row
view of Barbie putting her foot between Kibble’s butt cheeks and giving him a
shove. So satisfying!”

“One of these times, maybe the two of them will get arrested
and we’ll be rid of them sooner,” I said.

“Kibble only stumbled, cussed her up both sides and stomped
off,” Mac said. “Barbie screamed a bunch of ‘f’ words at him and stomped inside
her cottage, slamming the door so hard I thought it might fall off the hinges
this time.”

“Liam told me to stay away from Kibble,” Julie said. “Even
he thinks Kibble’s creepy and Liam likes most everyone.”

“I agree with Liam,” I said. “Avoid Kibble. The Shiners will
be gone soon. Don’t turn your back on Barbie either. She scares me more than
her husband.”

“I wanted to woot and clap when you kicked Barbie to the
ground,” Mac said.

“Expect more visits from me at The Cottages,” Mother told
Mac. “Apparently that’s the place to go to keep up on what Madison and Fab are
up to.”

“Honestly, I don’t get as much information as I’d like
either,” Mac said. “Trying to stay one step behind your daughter is
exhausting.”

“Isn’t that one step ahead?” Fab asked.

“My guess is you’re the only one that can do that,” Mac told
her, downing the rest of her beer.

Fab smiled smugly. She continually cased the restaurant as
though she expected a wanted criminal to walk in at any moment.

“Please don’t tell Liam that you’re kicking people or he’ll
want to do it,” Julie said.

“I defended myself. I don’t think he should pick fights
either, but he sends the first bully he encounters to the doctor, word will
spread and any others will be reluctant to step up.” I declined a second drink,
since I was the designated driver.

“I hope he is never bullied,” Julie said.

“If that happens, you tell him to call his Auntie Fab,” Fab
told her, waving off a refill to her wine.

“Maybe you should call me.” I laughed. “You can’t shoot
kids, Fab.”

“I can scare them, though,” Fab said. “And I have no problem
shooting the father.”

“I thought you hated kids,” I reminded her.

“Liam’s the only exception,” Fab said.

“Just don’t get him into any trouble,” Julie said to Fab and
me.

“Isn’t that Joseph and his teacher?” Mac asked, pointing to
the hostess desk at the front of the restaurant.

Joseph and Veta saw us at the same time we saw them. Veta
whispered something to him and they turned and left.

“We know how to clear a restaurant,” I said.

“When Veta found out about Brad and me, she started asking a
lot of questions about you, Madison,” Julie said. “I had to tell her twice that
I don’t gossip.”

Nosy people tripped my radar. “What kind of questions?” I
asked.

“About your personal life, your relationship with Joseph
before she entered the picture,” Julie said.

“You’d think if you were two hundred years old you might be
more confident and not so insecure,” I said.

“Do you suppose they’re having sex?” Julie asked.

Mother choked on her Jack rocks. The rest of us laughed.

I changed the subject. “Okay, let’s go. I have one more
surprise.”          

“You’re going to learn to hate the word ‘surprise’ coming
from her,” Fab said to Julie.

In the parking lot, I pulled Mother aside. “I may need help
at the next stop.”

Mother stared at me. “What are you up to?” 

We piled into the SUV. Five was almost one person too many,
but we didn’t have far to go. Once I got everyone to ‘the surprise,’ I was
confident I could get everyone out of the SUV with the exception of Fab; as
usual, the wild card.

A few blocks later, I pulled into Tropical Slumber Funeral
Home, driving up to the red carpet that led to the front door. The entire
outside was lit up with colored spotlights, looking like a kiddie amusement
place.

“Did someone die?” Mother asked.

“Dickie got his liquor license,” I told everyone. “He’s
having an open house, open bar. We only have to stay a little while.”

“I knew it,” Fab yelled from the back seat. “Absolutely not,
I’m not getting out.”

The silence was deafening. Julie and Mac scrambled out the
door. I opened Fab’s door, snarling, “If you don’t get out, I’ll pull you out
by your hair. Bitch fight, right here in the driveway.”

Fab bit her lip, to keep from laughing. She and I both knew
her ass kicking skills were far superior to mine.

“You two are ridiculous,” Mother scolded. “Get out of the
car, right now, Fabiana.” She got out, hands on her hips, glaring at us in the
driveway.

Julie and Mac stood back, but close enough to hear every
word and waited to see if there’d be a brawl.

“You so owe me,” Fab grumbled.

“If you’d just said ‘yes’ when Dickie extended the invite, I
wouldn’t have to resort to tricks,” I told her.

“Why waste free liquor?” Mother said. “We’ll all go in and
have a drink or two, and be nice,” she said, looking at Fab. “Then we’ll
leave.”

“I’m designated driver, so drink up,” I said. 

“I’ll take my money back,” Julie said to Mac.

“What did you bet on?” I asked.

“I bet you’d kick Fab’s butt.” Julie smiled.

“So that means you bet against me.” I glared at Mac. “I knew
I liked you,” I said to Julie. “We’re almost twins.” We both wore above the knee
length black full skirts and tops. “You look great, shows off your tan.”

“I didn’t want to say anything at dinner but Liam is
pressuring me to get married. I don’t want to disappoint him but Brad and I
aren’t ready for that step. Could you talk to your mother and ask her to dial
back the marriage hints.”

“I’ll rein her in.”
That wasn’t going to be easy.
“No
matter what, we love both of you.”

“Thanks for inviting me. This has been weird but fun.”

“I need a drink, how about you?” Mac asked Julie.

I whispered to Fab, “Please don’t scare Dickie.”

The main viewing room was about half-full of people, mostly
older folks looking at displays of funeral related items to personalize the
final farewell. To one side, stood a rack of assorted coffins arranged by
price. Front and center was a gaudy black one with gold cherubs on the corners,
red velvet interior.

Dickie waved and headed my way, an intense looking man at
his side. Both were dressed in tuxedos. “Madison. You came. This is Raul.” He
held out his arms for a hug, I stepped back. “Oh sorry, I forgot. Don’t touch
her.”

My policy: no handshakes, no hugs. “Nice to meet you
finally,” Raul said. Dickie and Raul couldn’t be more opposite in looks. Dickie
had a slight build, pasty skin. Raul could be on a cover for a men’s magazine.

“This is…” I turned but everyone had deserted me for the bar
on the opposite side of the room.

“My partner speaks highly of you,” Raul told me. 

“I consider Dickie a friend. He’s been incredibly helpful to
me,” I said. “And you two were the perfect choice for Astro and Necco.”

“Consider both of us friends,” Raul said. “When Dickie first
brought the dogs home, they were so skittish we weren’t sure they’d adjust.
With routine and regular food, they came around fast. The four of us are very
happy.”

“I must confess, I got a few people to come here tonight
under false pretences, but I do believe they have enough manners not to act
out,” I said.

The room had reached its occupancy level with an eclectic
group of people. Word had spread there’d be free food and drink.

“I really like you now.” Raul laughed. “If you have time
later, we’ll give you a personal tour.”

Spoon rushed through the door, which kept me from
responding, ‘no way in hell’ to Raul. A thuggery looking man in tow, Spoon
sized up the room, located Mother and headed her way.

“You tricked Mr. Spoon?” Dickie said, looking fearful.

“Go mingle. I’ll run interference,” I said with confidence
that was waning.

Mother laughed at Spoon being tricked, but he didn’t share
in her amusement. He turned, glared at me and walked over. 

Before he could say anything, I told him, “If you’re mean to
me I’ll tell my mother. Besides, chances are you’ll die one day and you’ll want
Dickie to do a good job.”

“I just came over to say hi,” he said, looking like he’d
like to strangle me.

“Is he bothering you?” Zach whispered in my ear, putting his
arms around me.