TROUBLE, A New Adult Romance Novel (The Rebel Series) (39 page)

“Wait!” I whisper loudly as he face drops lower, past my belly to my thighs.
 
“Where are you going?”

“I want to kiss you down here.
 
Is that okay?”

I can barely see him over my belly.
 
It’s so embarrassing to have this awkward body in the middle of us. “I’m not sure.”
 
I know that’s a stupid answer, but it’s an honest one.

“How about I give it a shot and you tell me to stop if you don’t like it?”

“Okay.”
 
There’s only a speck of hesitation on my part. I tell myself we can try anything tonight.
 
This is my safe place.
 
It thrills me to know this, and I relax as soon as he begins to touch me down there.

He pulls my pants and panties off, all the while being very soft with his touch.
 
And then he’s back between my legs with his mouth.

“Oh. Wow,” I say as his tongue slides in.
 
Then his fingers are doing something, and I feel cold air followed by hot breath on my most sensitive parts.
 
“Oh.
 
My.”
 
The words are barely there.
 
I don’t even know what I’m going to say next, and I don’t care either.

His finger goes inside me while his tongue is touching me somewhere that’s making me hot.
 
I’m literally temperature hot and turned on too.
 
I push the covers away from me.
 
I need air.

A moan escapes my lips as a strange tension builds inside me, down between my legs and up in my chest too.

“What’s happening?” I ask, my tone edging into the desperately worried zone.

“Want me to stop?” he asks.

“Yes.”

He lifts his head, immediately causing me to feel bereft and abandoned.

“No! Don’t stop.”

His mouth is back on me in a second.

Relief washes through me.
 
Losing that sensation was way worse than the nervousness that keeps niggling at back of my mind.
 
I admonish myself,
Forget Charlie. Forget the past.
 
Just relax and enjooyyyyy…

“Oh, God, Colin.
 
Something’s happening.”
 
I grab the sheets with one hand and his arm with the other.
 
“Something’s happening!”

I’m desperate to feel more of it and less of it at the same time.
 
This is what people talk about.
 
This is what people are after when they have sex.
 
This is the real thing.
 
It’s so much more than I ever imagined it could be.

He moans against me causing a deep vibration to join the process, and his mouth moves faster, his tongue flicking and licking and circling.

“Oh, no,” I whisper over and over.
 
Oh no oh no oh no…

“OH, YES! Colin!
 
YES!”
 
Wave after wave of pleasure surges through me, radiating out from the place where Colin’s mouth is.
 
I moan, I scream, I might even possibly growl.
 
I have no idea.
 
I’m lost somewhere in a bright cloud of exploding colors.

This can’t really be happening, but it is.
 
The bed was solid beneath me before, but I can’t feel it anymore.
 
I’m falling, falling, and falling…

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

WHEN I CAN BREATHE AGAIN and Colin is back by my side, I finally get up the guts to open my eyes and look at him.

“I think I might have growled.” My lips are trembling, either with nerves or adrenaline, I’m not sure which. But one thing I am sure of is that it’s not embarrassment.
 
I feel like I can totally be myself with Colin.
 
This is a gift of the very best kind, one I’ve never been given before.

“You liked it, I know that,” he says, smiling like a cocky fool.
 
I adore him for that.
 
He totally deserves to feel cocky all the time.
 
He’s hot, he’s sweet, and he can do that thing he just did to me like some kind of expert.

I’m happy but then I feel bad.
 
I had all this fun and he had nothing.
 
It’s not fair that he would have to pay for another guy’s sins.

“I want to do something for you,” I say shyly.
 
My past experiences were mostly just kissing and some basic touching.
 
I have no idea what I’m doing in the bedroom, and I was never one to read books about it or watch movies with those kinds of details.
 
I’m a little worried that he’ll laugh at my feeble attempts at seduction.

“Maybe we should just leave it at this for our first night together,” he says, kissing my neck.

I try not to be paranoid and think he doesn’t want me to do anything.
 
“That’s not very fair.”

“All is fair in love and war.”

My heart burns with the word
love
.
 
I really do love him, but I don’t want to say it now. I don’t want him to think my love comes from between my legs.
 
But the fact that he said love, even though it was in such a casual way, is enough to fuel my desire all over again.

“What can I do?”
 
I reach down and rub the front of his jeans. He’s still very hard, making me feel bolder.
 
He must want me, right?
 
That’s what that means.
 
I think.
 
I’m pretty sure.

“Well …,” he falls onto his back and stares at the ceiling, “you can do whatever you want or nothing at all.”
 
His head swivels to look at me.
 
“Seriously, babe, we can do nothing.
 
I just need a minute to collect myself.”

“Collect yourself?
 
I don’t understand.
 
I’m the one that had the … fun.”
 
I can’t say the O-word.
 
I sure can feel it, but I can’t say it.
 
“I haven’t even really touched you yet.”

“You don’t need to touch me to turn me on. Doing that for you and watching and listening to you was fun for me.
 
You just … get me going.
 
All I have to do is look at you and I’m a mess.”

“Really?” I can’t stop the huge grin from taking over my face.
 
“A mess?
 
I turn you on?”
 
I look down at my belly.
 
“I think you need to see a therapist.”

He rolls over onto his side and rubs my stomach all over.
 
“You’re gorgeous.
 
I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

I keep my thoughts to myself.
 
If he wants to like this body of mine, I’m not going to try and point out the errors in his judgment.
 
Even if he’s lying, I appreciate the thought behind it.

“Okay, so what can I do?” I say.

“You could … touch me.
 
Lick me.
 
Let me make love to you.
 
It’s your choice.”

My heart beats double-time at his offerings.
 
“We can’t make love.”

“Why?
 
Are you too nervous?
 
Is it the waiting until you’re married thing?”

“No.
 
None of that.”
 
My former plans for my future life seem very out of place right now.
 
I can’t even remember why I felt the way I did.
 
“It’s just…”
 
I look down at my belly.
 
“There’s something in the way.”

“Tell you what.
 
Turn over.
 
On your other side.”

I hesitate for a moment, but when I see the expression on his face, I do as he suggests.
 
He’s being patient and kind, but he’s still hot and bothered.
 
I can see the smoldering heat in his eyes.
 
I want to do something about that.
 
I feel powerful and sexy, which is some kind of miracle considering the fact that I’m a potbelly penguin.

I hear a zipper and look over my shoulder.
 
He’s off the bed and pulling his pants down.
 
His erection springs loose from the fabric, and I quickly look away.
 
It’s too big.
 
This will never work.
 
He better not think he’s putting that somewhere weird.

He’s next to me a second later, his warm body pressing up against my back.
 
The hair on his legs tickles my skin.

“I’m going to come into you from behind, okay?”
 
His hot erection settles against my bare butt.

“Come into me where, exactly?”

He kisses the back of my neck.
 
“Do you want the medical word or something a little dirtier?”

I giggle and then squirm a little bit.
 
“Ummm … the dirty word.
 
I want the dirty one.”
 
I’m on pins and needles waiting for him to speak. His tongue is on my neck swirling around and then his lips are kissing the wet spot he made.
 
I have goosebumps everywhere.

“I’m going to put my dick into your pussy.”
 
He nips my shoulder.
 
“How’s that?
 
Dirty enough for you?”

I try to answer, but I can’t. My voice is stuck in my throat.
 
I reach behind me and take his hard length in my hand, stroking it as best I can from my awkward position.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”
 
He pushes closer to me and then takes himself in hand.
 
I brace myself with a hand on the mattress up near my chest.

“I’ve always used a condom with other girls before.
 
I know you’re already pregnant, but I could still wear one if you want.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head.
 
“If you always wore one before, there’s no point now.”

I don’t know exactly how he’s going to manage to do what he said he’s going to do, but I wait with my heart hammering in my chest.
 
I’m already getting wet down there again and he hasn’t even really touched me yet.

“Lift up your leg a little.”

I do as he asks, and then gasp as he comes sliding in towards me from behind.
 
His body is hot and silky smooth.
 
His hardness slips easily between us, and the tip of it pushes against the place where his fingers were earlier.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Yes,” I whisper, not sure that I’m telling the truth.
I can say no whenever I want and he’ll stop.
 
Whenever I want.
 
He’ll stop…

At first he goes in just the littlest bit. I’m breathing faster, waiting for pain.
 
Waiting for shame.
 
Waiting for something unpleasant to happen.

But it doesn’t.

He’s in deeper now, setting up a slow, easy rhythm.

I angle myself backwards, enjoying the sensation but needing more.
 
I can’t believe how amazing it feels to have him sliding into me like this.

“Yeah, babe.
 
That’s it,” he says, in a low, deep voice right next to my ear.

I push against him, tentatively at first but then more eagerly, meeting his rhythm stroke for stroke.
 
I didn’t know my hips could move like this.
 
I feel sensual.
 
Sexy.
 
Like I know what I’m doing.

His body comes in closer and he presses his chest to my back.
 
And then his hand is reaching around me, his fingers touching me in my tender place again.

“What are you doing?” I whisper, closing my eyes and falling into the sensations.

“I want you to come with me,” he says against my neck.
 
His finger is swirling around and pressing against me as he slides in and out of me.
 
He feels impossibly big and long, and I cry out with the pleasure that’s overwhelming me.

I don’t know how long we’re doing this before I reach the breaking point. I’ve lost all concept of time. “It’s happening again,” I say in a whimper.
 
“It’s happening again!”

“Shhhh … just let it happen.”
 
He goes faster, picking up the pace of his strokes.

My leg is trembling with the effort of keeping it up, but I don’t want this to stop.
 
I’m close to falling over that cliff again.

“Oh, babe,” he grunts out, slamming into me from behind now.
 
“Fuck!”

Everything is shaking.
 
Me, the bed, our bodies.
 
The pressure is building.
 
Colin is growling and moaning.
 
Just hearing him lose it like that is enough to make me lose it too.

Suddenly the fireworks are there.
 
I’m filled to the core and I’m drowning.
 
A strong pulsing starts between my legs, squeezing him over and over from inside my body.

He’s falling with me as we both shout way louder than we probably should.
 
And then he’s jerking and slamming into me, his rhythm going hectic as he loses control.
 
He’s caught in some kind of seizure and I feel him pulsing into me now too.

I lower my leg, unable to hold it up anymore.
 
Reaching behind me, I find his butt.
 
I press him up against me, wishing this could keep going forever. I don’t want to leave this place.
 
Uninhibited.
 
Sated.
 
Intimate.
 
I never had any idea that this could happen, let alone to someone like me.