Triumph of Chaos (Red Magic) (29 page)

“You know there aren’t stupid questions. People are stupid, not the questions.”

I smacked her gently with my pillow, and she squealed and bounded across the room. “Don’t you ever get tired of being so bright all the time?” I meant it as a joke, but my voice was bitter.

“What do you mean?”

I gestured to her. “You. You’re always smiling, always helping, always happy. Don’t you ever just want to take a break?”

She bit her lip. “Sometimes. But that’s part of who I am.”

“Because of the Blue magic.”

“Because of me. I’d rather be happy than miserable, and I like to make people smile. Is that such a bad thing?”

I shook my head. “No, you’re right.”

Her face relaxed. “I’m glad you like the stone. What else did you buy?”

I looked at the bag on my dresser. “Just some oil.”

“You didn’t get another athame?”

In all honesty, I hadn’t even thought to look for one. “I wasn’t ready.”

Izzy’s expression softened. “I know you miss them, but they aren’t really gone. Death is just another way of life.”

“You say that like it’s so easy.”

She shrugged. “I have to believe something. I’ve lost too many people. If I didn’t make it easy somehow, I think I would break.”

I didn’t want to tell her that I was already broken beyond repair. “You’re a good friend.” My voice was quiet, and Izzy gave me a quick hug.

“So are you.”

I forced a smile. “I’m going to need to borrow the fire pit tonight.”

If my abrupt change of topic surprised her, she didn’t show it. “Of course. It’s yours, anyway. The boys and I have just been keeping it warmed up for you.”

“Speaking of which, what’s going on with you and Ben?”

Izzy giggled and looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s sort of obvious.”

She pursed her lips like she wasn’t going to say anything, but after a moment, the words tumbled out. “He’s really cute and he’s funny and he makes me laugh all the time.”

“You already laugh all the time.”

Her eyes were serious. “But this is more. This is special.”

I looked at her earnest face. “Just be careful. Trust me; love can be tricky.” My heart constricted, thinking about the mess I’d made of my own love life.
Who am I to give love advice?

Her starry-eyed expression was replaced with one of concern. “Have you heard anything from Justin?”

I shook my head and tried to keep my voice steady. “I sort of hoped they’d contacted you.”

“No, nothing from either of them.” She paused. “I’m sure we’d know if something had happened to them. I mean, Brad and Ben and I have been watching the news like crazy. Everything’s been fine in India.”

“Yeah.” I couldn’t ignore the gnawing sensation in my stomach, though. “We didn’t really part on the best of terms. I hope—”

“He’ll come home. They
will
find the other Red, and then he’ll be home and you can fix things between you once and for all.”

I smiled at her sadly. “I don’t know about that. I’ve done a lot of damage.”

“But you love him, right?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know anymore. I used to.”

“That counts for something.”

I didn’t want to argue with her, and for some reason, the conversation was making me increasingly agitated. “Look, whatever will be will be.”

She nodded. “And it will all be good.”

If I have anything to say about it, it will.

I waited until Izzy and Ben had left to go to a movie. Brad hadn’t come over, so I was alone in my parents’ house. Even without him around, Brad’s voice kept pushing into my thoughts, blaming me for the end of the world. Firmly, I imagined that a door in my mind had swung shut, blotting out his accusations. I hesitated, but my mind felt almost clear, and I sighed in relief.
The world isn’t going to end, not if I can help it.

I took my time getting ready for the spell, walking slowly from room to room. If everything went well, I’d be back there again, living the last two years that had been stolen from me. If I screwed something up, I wanted to have at least said goodbye to the only home I’d ever known. Xerxes trailed after me, mewing pitifully, but when I knelt to scratch his head, he slipped off, and I completed my circuit of the house alone.

The rooms felt noticeably empty. I hadn’t realized how much Izzy and the twins were keeping my loneliness at bay just by being around. Mom and Dad had filled the house with energy; not all of the memories I had of them were pleasant, especially not since I became a Red Witch, but they were all I had. “I’ll bring you home,” I whispered to the empty living room.

Taking the oil and a box of matches outside, I lifted the cover off the fire pit. I could have used Red magic to light it, like usual, but if I was really going to give it up, I figured I should get used to doing things without the familiar Red sparks. The moon was almost exactly half full, and it gleamed like a fake smile above me. It only took me three tries before the fire caught, and soon a large triangle of flame filled the fire pit.

I kicked off my shoes and sank my toes into the ground. The earth felt dry, like Set’s desert, and I realized that it hadn’t rained once since I’d returned from Scotland five months ago. We’d always had droughts in North Carolina, but I couldn’t remember a summer that had been as hot as this one. I hoped the fire wouldn’t get out of control without me there to tend it; I didn’t need to add burning down the neighborhood to my list of crimes. It was bad enough what I’d done to Rochelle’s house.

I struggled to calm my mind, pushing those thoughts aside. There would be time to worry about the harsh summer later, after all of this was over.
And maybe the weather will get better, too, once things go back to normal.
Taking three deep breaths, I forced my mind back to the dream where Hecate had promised me a do-over.

I unscrewed the oil and let three drops of it fall onto the fire. It sizzled and leaped, and a smell that was both sweet and rancid filled the air. For good measure, I rubbed another drop of oil on my forehead.

“Hecate,” I called out, lifting my arms above my head, “I’m ready to meet you again.”

Everything stood still. Even the fire seemed frozen in time, the flames caught in the midst of their wild dance. I held my breath, waiting, and I closed my eyes. The stillness surrounded me, and it was easy to imagine that I’d somehow stepped into another world. I hesitated, wondering how I’d know when it was all over. Would there be a big flash? Would Hecate actually show up, or would she just snap her fingers and send me back in time?

Can it really be that easy?
I stood there, eyes closed and arms raised, for I don’t know how long. Finally, a familiar voice filled the darkness.

“She said I have to bring you to her alive. Pity, but at least
I
know better than to argue with the Queen.”

I bit back my fear as I opened my eyes and faced Rochelle across the flames.

I swallowed nervously. “She sent you?”

Rochelle bowed mockingly. “I’m honored at her trust, really. And this gives me a chance to see you give up.”

I bristled, but instead of lashing out, I walked around the fire toward her. Rochelle’s face looked gaunt, and her eyes seemed wild. “You look good,” I finally lied.

She laughed. “I look like shit. But at least I don’t look as bad as you.”

“It’s good—” I paused. Why was I making small talk with her? It wasn’t really good to see her, even though that was what I’d been about to say. I shrugged. “Let’s get this over with.”

She reached for my arm, digging her long black nails into my flesh. The world spun, and I was suddenly reminded of the way Marcus used to travel. When Rochelle let go of me, my stomach was reeling. “Oopsy daisy,” she chirped, pushing me to the ground.

I staggered to my feet, breathing deeply. I couldn’t let Rochelle push my buttons. I was there to make a deal with Hecate, and if that meant dealing with my former best friend, so be it. I didn’t want to risk pissing either of them off, so I gritted my teeth and forced a smile. “How did you learn that?”

“What, traveling?” She smiled meanly. “It’s just like flying. You can only do it if you have no fear.”

“It can’t be that simple. Nothing is.”

“Killing your parents was.”

Anger surged through my body, and I fought back the impulse to incinerate her right then and there. I couldn’t kill Rochelle.
In a few minutes,
I reminded myself,
we won’t even be enemies anymore.
Would I even remember any of this, once it was all over, or would we go back to the way things were, before I declared to Red magic?

She cocked her head to one side, watching me struggle to gain control of myself. “You’ve come a long way, but you were never meant to be a Red. I’m honestly surprised you’re still alive.”

“I guess I’m just hard to kill. But then again, so are you.” Now that I was calm, I looked around. We were in a dark passageway, and something told me we were underground. It didn’t feel like the Underworlds I’d been to, but I could still tell we were under the surface of the earth.

Rochelle laughed. “You didn’t try very hard.”

“I only had the one chance.”

“Actually, I gave you a second chance. Remember?”

I nodded, following her up the dark path. “But I was weak, and you would have won.”

“If that stupid little Blue hadn’t been there to help you.”

“Why did you impersonate me, anyway?” I’d always wondered, but there’d never been time to ask. Rochelle and I hadn’t exactly had a rational conversation since she betrayed me.

Her shoulders lifted in a slight shrug, but she didn’t answer.

We walked in silence for a few minutes. I asked her another question that had been weighing on me. “Were your parents in the house that night?”

She whirled to face me so quickly that I walked into her. “Yes,” she hissed, “and now they’re gone.”

Oh, gods
. Guilt gnawed at me. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think— I didn’t mean to do that. My magic gets away from me sometimes.”
One more thing I can fix,
I told myself, trying not to feel sick.

“Then you’re clearly not fit to be a Red. You should have controlled yourself. They never did anything to you.” Her words were biting, but instead of making me feel even guiltier, they made me mad.

“It was an accident! At least I didn’t murder them in cold blood like you did to my parents.”

She laughed mirthlessly and kept walking. “An eye for an eye, Darlena. You hurt those I love, and I’ll make you pay.”

“You don’t love anyone.” The words popped out without conscious thought, and I saw her stiffen in front of me.

After a pause, she answered in a silky voice. “Maybe not, but I sure enjoyed Justin putting his hands all over me. You’ve got great boobs, by the way. It was fun wearing your skin.”

I made a sound halfway between a growl and a yelp, and Rochelle laughed again.

“Oh, yeah, didn’t he tell you? Justin was really into me.” She paused, and her lips curved up in a cruel smile. “You finally got laid, Darlena. Just thought you should know.”

Rage boiled inside me, and I struggled to stay calm. “He told me nothing happened.”

She looked over her shoulder and winked. “Then one of us is lying. Care to take a bet as to who it is?”

Red sparks danced on my skin, but I forced my hands to stay by my sides. “Why would you do that? Why are you trying to destroy me?”

She stopped. Slowly, she turned to face me. “Are you seriously that stupid?”

“Sure. Whatever, I’m stupid. But you’re crazy. Why are you doing this?”

“Did you ever think,” she hissed, “what it was like for me to be your friend?”

I stared at her, not understanding.

“To listen to the teachers praise you every week, to hear about your talent and your potential day after day after day?”

“It wasn’t like that! I was in detention more than anywhere else at that school.”

“Because you were wasting yourself. Didn’t you ever wonder why I never seemed to get punished, but you were always in trouble?” She paused. “Because they cared about you more. Everyone always did.”

“You’re crazy.” I stepped around her and kept walking down the dark tunnel, but her voice was close to my ear.