Tristan's Loins (3 page)

She entered the living room cautiously, her
eyes going to the computer. A sigh of relief escaped her to see the
character from her book was not there waiting for her. Walking on
trembling legs, she went to log off the computer. She turned up the
screen light and gasped. Tristan and the girl were sleeping now,
his arm casually draped over the girl. He snored loudly. It was
real! She logged off and decided a trip to her therapist was in
order.

The phone shook in her hand as she made the
appointment with Dr. Saunders for the end of the week. She had been
seeing him for the past few months since her husband filed for
divorce. Since she now felt like a real crazy person, they should
have much to discuss.

Selene got ready for the meeting without
looking at herself too closely in the mirror. The chic new black
suit had made her feel more confident in Macy's. Now she just felt
every bit the scorned, pathetic soon-to-be ex-wife she was.

Why had Jim done it? Was she so unpleasing to
look at? Had she failed him sexually? She cringed to think of their
stagnant sex life the last year. To be honest, even if he was not
having the affair, she had little desire for her husband.

Selene knew her face was pretty, if only
tight with present disappointments. Her golden brown eyes were
wide-set and heavily lashed without mascara. She still turned heads
when she applied herself to looking good. Her hair was thick and
shiny, sable brown in color, and fell in lush natural waves to her
shoulders.

Her figure was good thanks to good genetics.
Her eating habits were awful. She was naturally slender with more
than modest breasts. Why had Jim strayed? What did he see in the
over-made Ginny?

She applied spare amounts of make-up, glad at
least that her complexion was good enough to use the barest of
enhancement. It had always been one of her finest assets, her skin.
She brushed and styled her shoulder-length brown hair into a
fashionable up do, pinning it and putting on her jewelry. She left
the two-carat diamond engagement ring in the soap dish.

Jim had the nerve to ask for it back
recently. He claimed he could still return it. Since he purchased
it for her at Christmas and it was now April, she questioned that.
Nah, she figured she earned it, knowing he only bought it out of
his guilt over his affair with Ginny.

Once she was ready, she grabbed her coat,
purse, and keys and left her second-story apartment for the lot
below. She got in her year-old BMW convertible and smiled. Jim
wanted the car back too. Well, too bad. He wanted out; he could pay
that off. She was not giving in. She knew she held out in some hope
he would come to his senses. The car was nice, but it did not
matter as much to her as her marriage.

That demand ought to put Jim into a tailspin.
Coming up with the sum to buy her out of the house, their stocks,
and other assets had nearly cleaned him out. Paying off the car
would break him, she knew. It was unlike her to be so unreasonable,
but it was all she had to fight with now. That and the frail hope
some glimmer of love for her lingered within him.

Selene was determined not to touch the
settlement money. It was her nest egg. Her annual salary was barely
fifty thousand. She would have to budget carefully now. Before, her
money was her own to do as she would with. Jim paid all the house
bills, her car note, the credit cards. She had her whole paycheck
to herself. Not anymore. Now she would have to justify every
expense.

Selene pulled into the office building on
Beach Street with a shiver of apprehension. Her attorney was
probably already there talking with Jim's attorney, who also
happened to be the best man at their wedding. Talk about awkward.
Now the man was handling their divorce. Russell Wentz was a friend
to both of them. Selene did not take it personally that Russell
took Jim's case. In this economy, most attorneys could not afford
not taking cases.

Selene looked at her appearance in the
rearview mirror, satisfied she looked good despite her
apprehension. For a thirty-two year old, she still looked pretty,
damn good. Maybe not as good as Ginny; her husband's twenty-four
year old girlfriend, but she still got her share of looks from men.
All of the self-loathing of hers would pass. Jim was hardly the end
of the line for her. The hurt would go away one day. Thank God,
they had never had children. It was one thing she was grateful. She
was the one who wanted a house full of kids. Jim had vetoed that
right after he took his Bar exam.

Jim said they would wait until he was
established. Now she was nearly in her mid-thirties and childless
and he walked out on her. It was hard not to feel resentment. Now
he would have kids with Ginny. Try as she might, tears burned in
the back of her eyes.

Selene went inside. Her attorney, Laura
Benson, greeted her with a warm smile. She looked pleased after
speaking with Russell. Laura was about her age with a short, smart
cut and a perfect lipstick smile. Her professional demeanor
softened somewhat to see Selene's nervousness. She knew Laura
empathized.

"Russell and I hammered out all the
particulars already," Laura said softly as she drew her into a
private waiting room off the lobby. "Jim agreed to pay off the car,
Selene. He just wants you to sign off today. We do not have to go
in there. It's all worked out."

Selene nodded, relieved Jim would do that
much. "He argued it last time. I was prepared for a fight
today."

"No, he says you deserve it. He brought in
the payoff for the car and your settlement with him today. I urge
you to accept this, Selene." They sat at the table. Her brown eyes
were compassionate as she opened her briefcase and removed a file.
"If this goes before the judge, you could get much less. With no
kids, and you being gainfully employed during the whole marriage;
the judge won't give you such a nice chunk of money."

"Why is Jim being so amicable now?" Selene
was suddenly wary. "This is an about face."

"I assume it is because he wants this over
with quickly." Laura shrugged. "Who cares? You walk away from this
marriage with two hundred and fifty thousand in cash, the car, and
he pays all your legal fees. You also have no debt to assume from
the marriage. It’s a sweet deal, Selene. You will not get better.
Take the deal."

"You’re probably right."

"I know I’m," the attorney said and opened
the file.

"Alright, I'll agree," Selene surprised her
by saying. "No point in dragging it out anymore."

Laura sighed in relief. "You had me worried.
I thought you would come in here swinging again."

"No, it's what he wants," Selene shook her
head sadly. "I'm not fighting it anymore. I can't take this. I have
to move on too."

Laura smiled and patted her hand. "You
deserve better than that asshole, Selene. Trust me, one day you
will agree with me. You’re doing the right thing."

Selene signed the documents Laura presented
her. "Is this it? What happens next?"

"This is it," Laura took the papers and put
them in a file. "The next time you see me, we will have your
official hearing before the judge. You’re a free woman now. Here is
the settlement and the payoff on the car."

Selene accepted the envelope, her hand
shaking slightly. Her husband had given in. A part of her was glad;
the other was disappointed. Getting this hollow victory today
forced her to accept it was finally over.

"Where is Jim?" Selene put the envelope in
her purse.

Laura made a face. "He and the girlfriend are
in Russell's office waiting for you to sign off."

"They seemed awfully sure of me."

"Selene, just let it go," Laura offered
softly, compassion in her eyes. "You're better than this. You and I
both know that girl is in this for his money. When he realizes it,
he will regret doing this to you. Karma is coming for him, trust
me."

Selene silently agreed and stood up. "Ok, I
guess were done here."

"My secretary will contact you with the final
court date, Selene," Laura said and smiled. "I'll see you then.
Good luck."

Selene felt numb as she left Russell's
office, not waiting around to see Jim and Ginny leave. She had no
perverse desire to see them together today. No, she determined that
was the last thing she wanted. Her heart ached as she got into her
car and drove away. It was as if the last ten years had not even
mattered.

Selene saw flashes of their life together
from the beginning in fast forward until the moment she signed
those documents, ending it. It was surreal. She felt a bitterness
in her mouth to know real life was never as wonderful as the make
believe in her novels. No reality was a pay-off , not a happily
ever after.

Selene stopped at the Dairy Queen on her way
to the dealership. A brownie sundae might have tasted good any
other day. Today the chocolate desert she loved stuck in her
throat. She paid off her car and deposited the settlement check
into her savings account. Then she went home, glad she had nothing
else better to do today.

Selene went into her bedroom and took off the
black suit, burying it in the back of her closet, knowing she would
never wear it again. She did not realize she was crying until she
felt the tears splatter upon her hands. She closed her eyes and
wiped them away. No! She would not do this today! Tears would not
give her back the last ten years of her life or stop her heart from
aching.

Selene vowed she would give no other thoughts
to her impending divorce today. She threw herself into doing what
she had put off the last six months. She unpacked the boxes and
bins stacked in her living room and bedroom. After three hours, it
looked more like home. She lit several fragrance jar candles and
enjoyed the sight of her things adorning the walls and tables.

Finally she had time to sit in front of the
computer and think about the strange morning conversation with
Tristan de Montfort of all people. She laughed as she turned on the
computer. It was obviously some delusion brought on by her taut
emotions and stress.

She was reviewing her outline and did not see
the computer screen opened to Tristan's room once more. He was
dressed and the comely maid was gone. He appeared distraught.
Selene looked up and uttered a curse to see him once more.

"Ladies don't speak thusly, Only Selene,"
Tristan admonished as he heard her, frowning. "Where have you
been?"

"None of your damn business," Selene snapped.
"I have a life, Tristan. I don't devote every minute to writing
about you."

Tristan grinned as he sat at the table,
munching on the food there. "It's obvious I’m still trapped in this
same room. So much for me getting home."

Selene muttered as she set down her notebook.
"You will get there. Relax. Don't you have anything to occupy
you?"

Tristan chuckled and got up. He opened the
door to his chamber to reveal a black abyss outside the door. "No,
apparently I cannot leave until you see fit to write me out of
here."

"How did the girl get out?"

"She was able to go. I was not. Trust me, I
tried."

"I don't understand," Selene said and shook
her head in confusion. "She walked out of the room, but you cannot?
It makes no sense."

Tristan looked bored. "You’re the writer; you
tell me."

Selene knew she suffered from some sort of
psychosis. "I don't know how this all works yet, so how can I tell
you that?"

"Only Selene, I grow quite bored. Do you
think you could write me on my way home today?"

"My name is Selene," she said tightly, "one
word that is it."

"Much better," Tristan remarked with a smile.
"Now how do you propose to go back and make these changes?"

Selene frowned. "I need only erase what I
have written and write in a replacement scene."

Tristan smiled widely, displaying perfect
dimples. "Might I make some suggestions?"

"Such as?"

"You could make Rhiannon friendlier to me,"
Tristan said with a slight leer. "I like larger breasts on a woman
too."

"Ok, enough," Selene said sourly. He chuckled
in delight. "You’re as bad as the men in my world, always picking a
woman apart and finding her lacking. What is so wrong with Rhiannon
the way she is?"

Tristan pushed away from the table and stood,
his hands clasped behind his back. "Where do I start?"

Selene gasped in outrage. "She is quite
beautiful! What could you possibly find wrong with her?"

Tristan frowned. "Yes, she is quite perfect
to look at, I agree. You have made her lovely, but she has no depth
or character to her. Always whining and crying, telling me she
hates me, and then she looks at me as though she wants to kill me
most of the time. The rest of the time, she acts like we are all
her servants."

"You did kill her father," Selene reminded
him. "How do you think she would react to you?"

"You will rewrite all of that, Selene,"
Tristan commanded and gazed upward with a look that brooked no
refusal. "She is to be my wife. I would not want to start out this
way."

Selene bristled at his tone. "That will take
time too. You’re talking about me starting all over again. That is
almost one hundred and fifty pages!"

"I do not care. It appears I only exist
because you made it so. I would have it as close to perfect as it
can be," he replied testily. "I have another request of you."

"What is that?" Selene was almost afraid to
ask.

"I have done much thinking," Tristan
disclosed tightly. "Your book, the whole plot; it makes no
sense."

"What do you mean it makes no sense?"

"You said Stephen and my mother were in love
before she married my father," he said stiffly. "That was his
reason to kill my father, only she was accidentally killed instead
with poisoned wine. I can live with that. I would ask you to
refrain in taking away what little I have to be proud. Knowing that
man sired me will not make it easy for me to kill him as we both
know I must."