Triggered (6 page)

He walks in the door carrying Gavin. They both have rosy cheeks and smell of outside. He says, “I bought Gavin a banana. I hope that's okay. I checked the migraine list before I left, and I didn't think it was one of the triggers.”

“No, no,” I say. “That's fine. I just hope it doesn't ruin his appetite. You guys must be starved.”

He looks at me, and he looks at the table. I've got it set with three places and even a candle in the middle. He looks back at me, and it's like I just know what he's going to say.

“Oh, um, Jade. I'd really like to stay, but I promised Dalma…”

Everything goes blank after that. A week before the spring dance, he has the nerve to say to me, “I promised Dalma.” It was like he stuck a knife in my eye. That's what it felt like.

“Fine,” I say. I smile because there's no way I'm going to let him know he hurt me, but clearly this has upset Gavin. He wanted Mick to stay too. “You'd better go,” I say. “Thank you for your help.”

“Don't be like that,” he says.

Me! Like I'm the one doing it.

Gavin starts to cry. I stand in front of him and turn to Mick. “Please don't
help
us again. You're the one making him so sick. You know that, don't you?”

Mick

Chapter Seventeen

Dalma looks across the table at me and mouths the word
sorry
. Mrs. Zagar really did serve intestines, but that's not what I'm worried about.

“This is delicious,” I say. Dalma's little sister, Flora, whispers to her mother in Croatian. Her mother looks at me and says, “Thank you.”

The whole evening pretty much goes like that. Her parents say something to me. One of the kids translates. I say something else. They translate again.

While they're doing that, my mind keeps slipping back to Jade. I still can't believe what happened tonight. All I did was mention Dalma, and she went ballistic.

What was she thinking? She's seen us together for weeks. It's not like we've been hiding anything. I don't think this is just exhaustion. I'm starting to worry there's something really the matter with her.

“You like more?” Mrs. Zagar says without any help.

“Sure,” I say and hand her my plate.

“Sure—or yeah, sure? There is difference,” says Dalma. She and her sister laugh while her parents try to figure out what's going on.

Flora's laughing makes me think of Gavin. That's who I'm worried about the most. We had a great time at the park this afternoon. He was just like a regular four-year-old, running, jumping, playing with that stuffed kangaroo of his.

Maybe I'm listening to Quinn too much, but I found myself wondering if Gavin really did have a migraine. I asked him about it when we were over by the sandbox. He started filling a little bucket up with sand. He wouldn't look at me. He kept saying he doesn't like magic sprinkles.

I asked him what they were. He put down the bucket, then looked around to see if anyone was there.

He whispered, “I can't tell you.”

“C'mon! Give me a hint,” I said.

I wasn't sure if this was a game or not. He held Kanga up and whispered in her ear as if she was going to tell him what to say.

“I get them all the time,” he said.

“From who?”

He shook his head. He looked scared.

“Gimme another hint?” I gave him a little poke in the belly. “C'mon. Just one more.” He talked to Kanga again, then picked up a stick and drew something in the sand.

“M,” I said, “for Mick.” I taught him how to spell my name.

He drew an
S
.

“And a snake for Staynor!” It's an old joke of ours.

He nodded.

“
I
gave you magic sprinkles?” I said. He really laughed at that. I figured he was playing a trick on me.

That's all he'd say about it until we stopped in the grocery store a little later. We were walking down the spice aisle, and I was talking about buying him a treat, and he got all agitated about magic sprinkles again.

I didn't know what brought that on. It took me forever to calm him down. I had to buy both him and Kanga a banana.

I finish my second helping of intestines and do my best to answer the Zagars' questions. Yes, I have a brother and a sister. Yes, I enjoy hockey and basketball. Yes, my father is an accountant, and my mother stays home. Yes, I want to be an accountant too. (I make that up. I have no idea what I want to be.)

Dalma rushes me out the door as soon as dinner's over. She apologizes for the interrogation, but I didn't mind it. I like her family. They're like her. They don't have all the words yet, but you can tell they're having fun by the look in their eyes.

We walk outside. I can't kiss her because Flora's watching from her bedroom window.

I reach out to shake her hand, and she cracks up. We arrange where we're going to meet tomorrow, then I get in my car and go. It's time I talk to my parents about Jade.

Jade's Diary

Chapter Eighteen

April 26

Gavin won't talk to me. I need to know what he said. He's little. He's got a big imagination. Kids make stuff up all the time. Especially when they're upset. And Mick saw how upset Gavin was. He can't rush in here like a knight in shining armor, then just desert us.

It's time he understood that. It's time he saw how much he's hurting us. Mick's behavior is going to make Gavin very sick.

Mick

Chapter Nineteen

When I get home, my brother and a bunch of his friends are in the kitchen, drinking beer and acting like idiots. I forgot Mom and Dad are out at a dinner party tonight. I'll have to talk to them tomorrow about Jade. I say hey to the guys, then head up to my room. I had this brainwave about what magic sprinkles might be, and I want to check it out.

I google childhood migraines again. Nausea, vomiting, pain, dizziness. That's Gavin, all right. What I'm interested in, though, is the aura. That's what they call this weird thing that happens to people's eyesight right before the headache hits. Different people see different things. It could be bright lights, blobs, zigzag lines, starbursts, sparkles, a big black hole right in the middle of their vision, anything. It's crazy stuff.

I scroll down the page until I find the line I was trying to remember.

Scintillating scotoma—a spot of flick
ering light near or in the center of the
visual field
.

That's the medical name for it—but not what you'd call the aura if you were four. You'd probably call it something more like
magic sprinkles
.

That almost makes me happy. At least something makes sense. I even like the way a little kid would turn it into something fancy. It's not a scotoma that's going to give you a killer headache. It's magic sprinkles, like something you'd find in a fairy tale.

I scan the page for more info. I notice the list of foods that can trigger a migraine. I wonder if it's different from the one Jade posted on the kitchen cupboard. She might have missed something.

I scroll down. Pepperoni. Chocolate. Red wine.
MSG
.

MSG.
It jumps right out at me. The initials are MS too.

Yeah, okay. What an amazing coincidence. I keep reading. Caffeine, cheese, artificial sweeteners…but something is bugging me.

I can't remember what Jade said
MSG
was.

I google it too. Oh, right. That stuff they put in Chinese food. There's a picture. It comes in a spice bottle and looks sort of like salt.

Or sprinkles.

Magic sprinkles.

I think of Gavin starting to cry in the grocery store. We were in the spice aisle. I remember that, because I'd looked around to see what might have set him off. All I'd noticed were bottles of cinnamon and boxes of kosher salt, so I'd figured it had to be something else.

In the park, Gavin had said he got magic sprinkles before. Did he mean he
saw
them before—or that someone
gave
them to him before?

I feel almost as if I'm having an aura myself. The words are kind of floating around on the screen. What I'm thinking doesn't make sense. Jade loves Gavin. She'd do anything for him. She'd never hurt him.

Why don't I believe that anymore?

Mick

Chapter Twenty

I stand outside Jade's apartment building. It's almost midnight. I know it's too late to be here. I key in the security code and open the door to the lobby.

It would be better to talk to her about this tomorrow, when we're both rested and can talk reasonably.

But we're never going to be able to speak reasonably about this. I've got to do it now. I push the elevator button. By tomorrow, she may have done it again.

Done what? I don't even know exactly.

I stare at the numbers above the elevator doors. They're not moving. It's broken again.

I should go home. I never would have thought anything like this if Quinn hadn't planted the idea in my brain. Can I really picture Jade poisoning her little brother?

I take the stairs two at a time.

There's light coming out from under the apartment door. Someone's awake.

I knock.

“Jade.” I say it not much louder than a whisper—I don't want to wake the neighbors—but I know she heard me.

“Jade,” I say again. “I need to talk to you about something.” It hits me that those are the exact words I used to break up with her.

She opens the door a tiny bit and whispers back at me. “It's too late, Mick.” Too late for what? My heart is thumping like a punching bag. I picture Gavin lying on the floor.

“No, please,” I say. I push past her and into the apartment. I'm like a crazy person.

She grabs my arm. “We're over. You can't come in here in the middle of the night thinking I'll take you back. Now go.”

“Where's Gavin?” I say.

“In bed. Where do you think he is?”

“Let me see him.”

“No.”

“I want to see him.” I'm making no attempt to keep my voice down anymore. I walk behind the couch and toward his room.

She beetles around until she's standing in front of me. She's tiny and blond and pretty, and she's the scariest thing I've ever seen.

Her eyes are squinted up, and her lips are pulled together. “You'll give him a migraine,” she says.

I look past her and see the kitchen. All the contents of the cupboards have been dumped out on the floor. She goes stiff when she sees me looking. She's too small to block my view.

“I'm not the one giving him the migraines, am I, Jade?”

She's suddenly more alert, as if she's about to give a presentation. She clearly knows what I'm getting at.

“Yes, you are. You upset him. You come and you go. You dump him when he needs you the most. Poor little GooGoo. I don't know how you could be so cruel.” She's put on this little-girly tone, and I realize something.

Magic sprinkles aren't Gavin's words.
GooGoo. Put on your jimmyjams
. Jade's the one who talks like that, not him.

Is that what she told him they were called? Did he catch her doing it? Or did she make it into a game? All part of the fun?

“You've been putting
MSG
in his food, haven't you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Magic sprinkles.”

“Why would I do that?” She should look more surprised than she does. “He's just making that up. He's little. He makes things up all the time.”

“No I don't, Jade.”

We turn around. Gavin is standing in the door to his room. His mouth is turned down into a pout, and he's clutching Kanga.

“I don't make things up. I saw you. You give me magic sprinkles.
MS
stands for magic sprinkles and
G
for Gavin.”

Jade scurries over and gets down on her knees in front of him.

“Don't tell stories, Gumpy-bear. People may believe you. You'll get Jadie in trouble.”

She looks right into his eyes and rubs her hands down either side of his head. She won't hurt him with me here.

“I know my letters, Jade,” he says.

She smiles. “Yes, you do, little man. You're very smart. But even smart people make things up sometimes.”

“I didn't make it up,” he says. He reaches into Kanga's pouch and pulls out a small glass bottle. “See?” He points at the label. “
MSG
. Just like on the list.”

Jade jumps. “Give that to me.”

He won't. “I'm sorry I took it, Jadie! I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to mess up the kitchen.” He lies on the bottle like it's a hand grenade.

I'm trying to pull them apart when the door opens and Angie walks in.

Jade's Diary

Chapter Twenty-One

April 30

I don't understand how this could happen. It's a nightmare. No one believes me.

Mick's behind this. He set me up. It would have been so easy for him. He's Gavin's hero. Gavin would believe anything he said. He's only four. It wouldn't take much to convince him he was being poisoned. Now everyone thinks I'm the crazy one. That's what they're thinking. They've all forgotten how Mick cheated on me. He gets to be the good guy again.

I don't even care about that. All I care about is Gavin. They won't let me see him. I'm worried sick. Who's going to look after him?

Not Mom. She didn't even know how many migraines he was having. That's how much she cares. Not his dad. He's back now, but how long do you think that's going to last? First time anyone needs money, he'll be gone like a shot.

Not the doctors. I told them there was something the matter with Gavin, but they never did a thing about it. They must be delighted they've got me to blame now.

Not Mick. He's too damn busy with his new girlfriend.