Trigger Happy (Girls with Guns, #2) (16 page)

“I wish I could. I’m running a new program that interferes with the entire work system in here. So once the program is up and working, I should be able to go into my files and get what you need.”

Today was not Gage’s day. “How long will that be?”

Brian looked at his computer where a dialog box was up and running, the bar indicating the percentage it still needed to go through. “At a minimum, another two hours. But that’s just my guess. I will let you know once it gets closer.”

“There’s no other way to get it? What about your laptop?” he asked.

“Because it’s records of things I have purchased, I keep that on my computer, not my laptop.”

“Couldn’t you file share? Use an application that would allow you to have the documents on both devices, should the need arise?”

“I do. But these are different because Echo can access them as well. The way I have it set up is I can file share with someone within the credit union, but only from my PC inside the office. I’m a security freak, what can I say?”

“Okay. Let me know.”

Gage walked out of his office. He bumped into Lisa.

“Oh Gage, you will not believe what just happened!”

“Try me.”

“Suzanne just quit. Literally stood up from her desk, grabbed her few items and said she was finished. Who does that? We just hired her three weeks ago. I’m so pissed off. She couldn’t wait one week until the auditors left?”

Gage ran his hand through his hair. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. How could he have had such an amazing night last night and such a crappy day today? “Are you fucking serious? Why’d she quit?”

“She said she just found out she’s pregnant. But still, what I don’t get is, wouldn’t you want a job in that case?”

“You would like to think so. This day couldn’t get much worse, honestly. Thank God it’s almost over.”

When Gage got off work, he went to the gym. It wasn’t his normal routine, as he usually went in the morning. Today though, he needed to blow off some steam. His mind was reeling from work and all of the idiosyncrasies that happened today. All he wanted was a goddamn report, showing what was purchased, the cost and how the credit union had paid for it. Instead, he got a sick kid, a non-working computer and a quitter. What the fuck? He couldn’t even begin to count how many times he had either mouthed those words today or said them in his head but he knew it was a lot. Nothing made him feel less like a CEO of a company than not being able to have one single item he requested, done and in his hands.

Selfishly he hoped Echo’s daughter wasn’t sick again tomorrow. He needed those reports. If Echo didn’t come in, he could ask another accounting assistant. And what was the deal with Suzanne quitting? Didn’t pregnant women want a job so they could afford a child? He couldn’t pretend to understand that logic. Quite frankly, he had to put that out of his mind because there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about that. He didn’t understand and he never would. Move on.

How could this accounting situation have gotten so fucked up? What the hell had happened? Brian’s computer had better be in working order tomorrow or he was going to come unglued. Could he fire an IT director for updating a computer at a dire moment? No. But the thought made him feel better.

Taking a shower at the gym, he packed up his duffel bag and headed for home. Enjoying a Poudre Hops beer sounded like a damn good idea. He got into his Range Rover and headed out of the parking lot. His thoughts immediately went to Amber and the night they had shared. What he wouldn’t give for a nice cold beer and another night with her in his arms. Who was he kidding? He had been the one to stress the fact that they were only going to have a night together – that this thing between them could go no farther. Oh, and that he had nothing to offer her. Thanks to the ex. Was that really true though, he questioned himself as he drove down Main Street. He didn’t know and he damn well wasn’t going to figure that out, especially tonight. Gage was a block away from his house when an inexplicable urge in him had him turning around and heading toward the opposite end of town.

A
mber double-checked the chamber of her 9mm Sig Sauer, making sure it was empty before she loaded it into its carrying case. She flipped the switch on the target retrieval and took her paper down.
Not bad for a girl with a purple handgun
. She put her earmuffs and her protective eyewear in her bag and headed out.

“See ya later, Amber,” Bill told her as she walked through the store.

“Bye, Bill.”

Amber was surprised to see Gage Alexander, CEO’s Range Rover in her driveway as she turned onto her street. Her heart thumped in her chest with excitement. What did he want? Her? She couldn’t help the small smile that spread across her face at the thought. While she portrayed that she was completely okay with whatever type of relationship he wanted, the truth was she wanted more. So much more. She really, really liked him. It was too soon for anything more than like in her opinion. He was the one man in her life that had somehow been able to snag her into a relationship that was a non-relationship. Which was ironic since he was one of the few men who was steering far away from any relationship with her. He had made that perfectly clear. BUT, she couldn’t help the small amount of hope in her heart that he would change his mind.

She pulled her BMW around his vehicle and into her garage. She got out as he was making his way toward her. He wore another black shirt. This one was long-sleeved and fit around his torso in such a way that she could make out his muscles but it wasn’t Saran-wrapped either. He was wearing the same denim jeans that he wore in the park – she knew because of the almost tearing on his thigh. She couldn’t help her gaze as it traveled to his button fly. She swallowed. She felt her cheeks flush as her eyes met his. His mouth broke into a mischievous grin.

“Like what you see, Amber?” his voice was soft, hypnotic.

She didn’t answer, instead she remarked, “Fancy seeing you here. What’s up?”

As he stood in front of her, his large hands came to rest at her waist. He bent his head to her ear and whispered, “I thought about you today. Every time I thought of you, I imagined being inside of you and would get so worked up.”

She was putty in his hands. She would do anything he wanted, anything he asked her to do. She would break her own heart, if it meant having him under his conditions. She had to be stronger. She should be stronger. Right? Unconsciously, she rubbed against his body, wanting to make him hard now. Wanting to give him whatever he wanted.
Oh, and he wanted it.
Realizing she hadn’t responded to him, she spoke, “Hard like you are right now?”

He kissed her lip, “mmm-hmm.”

“Do you want to go inside?”

He bit her lip, “mmm-hmm.”

“What makes you think you can come over here anytime you’d like?”

Gage let go of her lip. He didn’t pull away but kept his face against hers. He hated to admit, but she had a good-fucking-point – something he had thought only moments ago. He had made his intentions clear and what did he think? That she was just going to continue giving him whatever he wanted and he would never have to give her anything in return? What was it about this woman that made him have a guilty conscience?

“I don’t know. Will you let me give you what we both need? At least for tonight?”

She didn’t respond, instead she backed away from him and walked inside her house, shutting the door behind her.

Gage stood still for a moment. Did she just dismiss him? After the sort of day he had, that simple shrug-off made him so furious and without thinking, he stormed into her house behind her.

“What the fuck was that all about?”

Amber heard the door slam shut but jumped at the sound of his angry voice. She had just set her purse down and had her back to him. She was acting like an adolescent teenager, she knew. She wanted him so badly and she knew the terms and yet here she was mad because he wanted only what she knew he wanted? No commitment and no romance, he just wanted to fuck. Isn’t that what she did to men in the past? She was the one that never wanted a relationship, now she wanted one and
my how the tables have turned
.

“Excuse me for wanting more than just to be a fuck buddy, Gage.”

He shook his head. She knew this, he thought. Why was she mad now? Because he didn’t call her before coming over? Because it wasn’t on her terms? “Jesus, Amber, that’s what you want isn’t it? That’s what you wanted the first time around and that’s what you’ve gotten from the other men you’ve been with. You’ve told me that yourself. So what’s the difference here?”

He knew he was right. But what he didn’t get was why tonight bothered her as much as it did. It was just last night that they had an amazing time. He waited for her to speak.

Finally she turned around, tears welling her eyes. “You’re different. I want you, Gage. I want you tonight and in the future, too. But it hurts me to know that you don’t want more of me than just sex. Trust me, I am fine having sex but I guess I want you too much. It makes me feel terrible that I am going to put aside my feelings just to get the chance to sleep with you. Talk about feeling like the lowest man on the totem pole! And I know I said this was fine and I really thought I could do it, but after last night...When you make love to me, its like you read my body, my soul, you know what I want and you do it unbelievably well. It kills me to know that you want nothing else to do with me. There, I finally said it. It’s out.”

She watched Gage’s face for a reaction, a grin, hell she would take a frown at this point. But he just stood there and watched her with an unreadable expression on his face.

When he spoke his voice was low, “I want you too, Amber. More than I have wanted anyone in an awfully long time. In bed I can give you all of me but not outside of that. I wish that could be enough for you.”

“Why can’t you? Because you won’t or because you think I will hurt you like your ex-wife hurt you?

The fact that he showed up here unannounced, and she had turned him down pretty much cemented the fact that he couldn’t and wouldn’t put his heart on the line. He already felt foolish for showing up unannounced and she wanted nothing to do with him. That was all he needed - to fall in love with her and she change her mind. He couldn’t make the truth come out of his mouth.

“I am not looking for a relationship right now, okay? I have a lot going on with work. I enjoy being alone and living my life on my terms. If sex isn’t all that you want then I’m not your guy. I’m sorry.”

Amber felt all her hopes and fantasies fall out of her chest. This is not what she wanted him to say. She wanted him to tell her that he would at least TRY to make something work. Anything except for what he just said. Karma was a bitch. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t compromise her values just to have him in her life. Could she? She wanted to...she really, really wanted to pretend it wouldn’t matter as long as he was in her life. But it did. It mattered to her. It mattered that she could be good enough to be more than Gage Alexander, CEO’s sex toy.

“I’m sorry too. I thought I could do that but I can’t...and I won’t. I deserve more than that. It’s probably best if you leave now.” Why did this have to hurt so much? She wanted him to stay. Amber wanted to jump into his arms and hear him tell her that everything would be okay. That they could make it work and he would do whatever he could to at least try. But he didn’t. All he did was cock his head to the side as if he wanted to say something, looked at her for a long moment and turned around and walked out the door he came in through.

The minute the door slammed shut, Amber began to sob. She collected herself and dialed Marilyn. She waited for Marilyn to pick up her call.

“Hello?”

“What are you doing? Come over and have a drink with me please?”

“Of course. What’s wrong?”

“Uhh, it’s Gage. He’s what’s wrong. He is so wonderful and sexy and so stubborn! Why do I have to want someone who doesn’t want me for more than sex? And how come I was just going to allow that? Do you think this is Karma for all the times men wanted relationships with me and I cut them out of my life?”

“Amber, chill. I’m on my way and I will answer your questions when I get there, okay?”

“Kay, peace out!”

Amber paced her living room waiting for Marilyn. She thought of her parents and she thought of Gage and his ex-wife. She found it ironic that somehow, all of these events that happened in their lives, directly affected the two of them right now. She didn’t think it was fair. Couldn’t there be a way for her to get past the feelings she had about being responsible for her parents’ wreck? Winning the competition made her feel good. It made her feel like a huge weight had been taken off her shoulders, but did it make her feel like her parents’ death was no longer her fault? Simply because she had won a dance contest? No, it didn’t.

Needless to say, Gage’s wife had hurt him pretty badly. That much was obvious. He wouldn’t let any female close to him because of her. What kind of woman left without an explanation?

Marilyn came barging into the foyer, her purse and keys in one hand and a bottle of white wine in the other hand. “I had a bottle already chilling in the fridge. Here take this.”

“Thank God, you are a life saver. Thanks for dropping everything you were doing to come and listen to me vent.” Amber hugged her best friend.

“That’s what friends are for. Oh, and did I mention Gabriella and Brandi are on their way? Are you going to pour us a glass or what? And start telling me, what is Gage’s problem?”

Amber got out four wine glasses and filled two for her and Marilyn. She took a long swallow and smiled, “Better already. I might as well wait until the girls get here so I don’t have to repeat myself. How are all of the wedding details going? Blake isn’t running scared yet, is he?”

“No, he isn’t running scared. He’s driving me crazy. He wants everything perfect for me so he insists on asking over and over how the planning is – if I’m getting what I want. And if I hired the right caterers for the food and if I’m going to be happy with them. He’s really just being a sweetheart. It’s all coming together so well, Amber. I can’t wait to be Marilyn Monroe Bryant. I really can’t,” she jumped up and down like a child.