Trickery & Envy (30 page)

Vivian close
d the magazine with one finger inside. “Where did it spread to?” she asked.

“My bladder,” she
answered nonchalant.

Vivian
had a quick intake of breath.

“I meant to cut this recipe for meatloaf
out for you.” Jennifer focused on the magazine to avoid looking at her friend. She didn’t want to see a look of sympathy.

“You seem to
be at peace with the news.”

“Why should I worry about something I have no control over
?”

“So how do they plan to treat
it?”

“
Dr. Maim suggested the radiation dose be increased and the amount of treatment extended. I told him okay. If he wants to waste radiation on a body that’s deteriorating, so be it.”

Vivian was a little taken back. “What do you mean waste radiation?”

“I almost forgot about the spaghetti,” Jennifer said and she rose from the lazy boy. When she got to the kitchen she called out to Charles while Vivian watched her closely.

“
Did you call me?” he said from the bottom step.

“
I heated the spaghetti, did you want some?” Jennifer began stirring the spaghetti with a spatula.

“Yeah, be up in a few minutes.”

Jennifer opened the bin on the counter for the loaf of wheat bread.

Vivian said,
“Are you going to answer me?”

“Oh, what did you ask me
?” and Jennifer removed 4 slices of bread.

“I asked what you meant by him wasting radiation.”

“Oh, girl, upping the dose isn’t going to save me. Some things you just know. Like I told Charles, I’m going to die. You want some bread? I’m going to toast mine and Charles in the oven.”

Vivian
was stunned by what her friend just said. She actually looked off to the side as if to ask herself did I hear her right. She then rose from the sofa and headed to the kitchen where she just looked at Jennifer.

“
Vi don’t you come in here bawling. I’m fine. You want to eat in here at the table or in the living room?”

Jennifer slid the pan of sliced bread into the bottom of the oven
and then went to get plates from the cabinet.

Vivian wasn’t sure if Jennifer was playing
or just trying to be strong. So she waved her hand down at her and said, “Girl, you’re not going anywhere.” She then looked at her on the sly before going back down into the living room.

Charles came up from the basement.

“What were you doing down there watching television?” Jennifer asked and opened the refrigerator for some butter when a slight cough escaped.

“Not really, though I did just turn it on.” Charles had changed from the blue slacks and light blue shirt he had
worn to the doctor’s office with Jennifer to some black pants and grey t-shirt. “I threw what was in the bin into the washer. Umm...spaghetti smells good.”

Jennifer reache
d for a knife to spread butter on their toast and also glanced at her husband on the sly.
He’s doing
laundry? Hauling out the garbage yes, but laundry…what has gotten into him doing chores?

“Baby
, take a seat. I’ll fix your plate,” Charles said standing next to her and happy for the opportunity to take the load off her.

“I’m fine Charles. I know you’re only trying to help and I appreciate it, but I’m good.”

Jennifer opened the bottom of the oven to get the toasted bread on the cookie sheet. She paused after feeling a sharp pain below.

“
Are you sure you’re okay?” Charles asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Every now and again I get a little pain below.” Jennifer then gave Charles a smidgen of a smile and removed the cookie sheet from the bottom on the oven.

Vivian was listening to their conversation trying to get a read if the doctor had actually given a prediction of the time Jennifer had left or if Jennifer was simply giving up.

Jennifer
then said, “Vi’s having dinner with us. I know you’re not a fan of
The Voice
, but we are and we’re going to watch it while we eat. You want to sit with us?”

“I think I’ll pass. I’m sure there’s something more
interesting for me on television. Besides, I want to finish up in the basement. You go ahead and enjoy your friend,” Charles said taking the plate of spaghetti she was handing him. He kissed her on the jaw then set the plate on the kitchen table and moved to the refrigerator for something to drink.

Something’s going on
.
My guess is
she’s giving up.
Vivian wiped at a few tears threatening to fall. “I’m going to turn
The Voice
on,” she said.

“Okay
,” Jennifer replied and reached for a glass in the cabinet. “Vi, you want some Kool-Aid?”

“Girl
you know I don’t drink that stuff. I haven’t had Kool-Aid since I was a kid and when did you start drinking Kool-Aid again?”

Vivian turn
ed on the television then headed to the kitchen.

“
Just recently, I don’t know about you, but I’m going out with a bang!”

Jennifer
handed Vivian a plate of spaghetti smiling.

Vivian
took the plate of spaghetti looking mystified at her friend.
Why is it such a joke to her
?

Charles heard the remark and paused before taking a seat on the futon. He closed his eyes tight at
the gut-wrenching feeling now coming over him.

“
If you have bottle water I’ll take one,” Vivian said.

“I think there’s another one in the fridge, if not,”
Jennifer said and walking over to the refrigerator, “I’ll ask Charles to bring one up. I know there’s some downstairs.”

Jennifer s
et up two tray tables. One she sat in front of the lounge seat for her and the other in front of Vivian.

“Vi, there’s some folks on this show with some serious talent. I
really tune in because I love me some Cee Lo Green. Doesn’t he look like a Hershey with almonds? He gives me a taste for chocolate when I see him.”

“
Girl you’re silly,” Vivian said and mixing the parmesans cheese into her spaghetti with her fork. She then glanced off and on at her friend, saddened by her condition. It tugged at her heart. What bothered her most was the new nonchalant attitude her friend adapted. That new approach had Vivian staying focused on her friend.

“He sounds like Luther Vandross,
doesn’t he?” Jennifer said glancing over at Vivian. She saw the gaze and picked up her glass of Kool-Aid for a sip.

“What
?” Vivian said snapping out of her stare and took in a forkful of spaghetti.

Jennifer
with a slight smirk on her face sat the glass of Kool-Aid down.

“Look Vi, if that gloomy look is about me you may as well change it.
Don’t think I don’t feel you staring at me. I know you and Charles are worried, but stop wasting your time feeling sad for me. I don’t want any sympathy.” She picked up her fork and twirled up spaghetti with it.

“I know Jen
...it’s just difficult for me to process what sounds like you’ve given up.”

Jennifer ma
de a tsk sound and wiped at her mouth with the napkin she had on the side of her tray.

“Vi...I have not given up. Don’t you see me sitting here enjoying this show
, your company, life. What makes you think I’ve given up?”

“I mean
there’s something different about you. The things you’re saying. Going out with a bang? That sounds like someone who has given up.”

Jennifer
picked up the remote next to her thigh and turned the volume down on the television. She knew she wouldn’t be able to continue her show with Vivian looking sad at her.

“What do you and Charles
expects me to do Vi, walk around depressed? Well, I used to. I’m not doing it anymore. I’ve come to terms with the inevitable. I saw how my mother, my sister and aunt succumb to this disease. In my opinion, they suffered longer than they had to. I’m the one who has to deal with the fact my body has been invaded by cancerous cells. Me, Vi,” she said pointing her thumb back at herself.

Charles heard the
m talking loud to each other and stopped eating to listen. He then moved to the bottom of the stairs to listen.

“
There’s nothing I can do about it,” Jennifer said. “The only thing the doctor can do at this point is fill me up with radiation with the hope it will change the outcome. It won’t. I don’t have to go to church every Sunday to know when God is calling me home.”

Charles fell to his knees and cried quietly. A host of tears w
ere building in Vivian eyes.

“Now I’m not exactly
sure of the date He plans to bring me up, but what I am sure about is that it’s going to happen sooner than later.”

“Jennifer don’t, don’t do this. Please don’t talk like
this. You don’t know for sure that you won’t survive this.”

T
he tears that were forming ran down Vivian’s face. She laid her fork down on her plate and lowered her head and cried quietly into her hands.

Jennifer gave her a moment to accept what she was telling her
, then said, “Vi, there’s only two things I want from you, if you can grant me these wishes.”

Vivian
wiped at her eyes. “What’s that you know I’m here for you?”

“That you and Toni
, if I’m not around, name me and Charles your baby’s Godmother and father. Two, and I don’t care how you make it happen, but I want to meet Angela Bassett.”

Vivian sort of chuckle
d at her last request, so did Charles whose chuckles were heard by the both of them.

“Charles
,” Jennifer called out over her shoulder. “Are you giggling at me? Are you down there laughing at my request?”

Charles
came up from the basement and moved into the living room wiping traces of tears from his face. He then placed his hands on his hips and with a smile on his face he said, “Angela Bassett, Jennifer.”

“Yes, Angela Bassett. It’s not impossible. All we have to do is be wherever she’s going to be
the next time she comes to Chicago or go to the city she lives in.”

“Go to the city she lives in,” Charles repeated with raised eyes brows
and thinking,
you’re serious
.

“
Y’all know I’m her twin. I want her to know that someone else out here shares her beauty. Now promise me,” she said to them.

Vivian look
ed at Charles who shrugged his shoulders.

“
Jen, the first request is granted without a doubt. Now how you think I’m going to get close enough to Angela Bassett to let her know that you have a dying wish to meet her,” Vivian said.

Jennifer smile
d.
She said dying wish
and she looked at Charles who broad smile had diminished some.

“Baby
, if we have to kidnap Angela that’s what we’ll do,” he said.

“
Kidnap the woman?” Vivian said, tilting her head to the side.

“Hey, what Lola wants
, Lola gets.” Charles walked away back toward the basement as if to say, it’s going to be okay. He then said where they could hear him, “That’s my Jennifer, crazy as ever.”

“Now
about my first wish,” Jennifer said and twirled some spaghetti around her fork. “I know you still may be a little alarmed about what happened, but have you talked to Toni?”

Vivian smile
d some and slid her hand across her stomach with images of Toni in mind.

“He’s coming over this evening,”
she said. “I’m scared Jennifer,” she then admitted.

Jennifer wipe
d her mouth with a napkin. “Scared of what?” briefly looking over at her friend.

“
I don’t know about being a mother. So many things have happened in the last few months. I don’t know if mentally I’ll be able to handle the responsibilities.”

“Vi you are going to be fine. If things go well with Toni like I think they will
, you can’t lose. Despite his situation I think he’s going to be a great father...and husband someday.”

“
Husband, that’s jumping the gun a bit don’t you think,” Vivian said with raised eyebrows.

“Maybe,” Jennifer
answered and she looked a bit sad. “I just wish I could be around to see him or her grow up.”

“You just might. The Lord can change
His mind, can’t He?”

Jennifer was caught off guard by the statement
as she looked over at her friend and smiled at her.

“Don’t hold your breath,” she said. “So what’s going on with the break-
in?”