Authors: Sue London
"No
kiss goodbye, then?" he asked, still trying to maintain a mild manner to
smooth the waters.
"Just
get out," she snapped.
He
nodded and backed away from her. Perhaps an extra day or two in London would be
advisable.
As
he settled into the carriage later that hour, he said to Quince, "Earlier
this afternoon I was a happily married man. Now I'm not. You can expect a
comeuppance for that."
"Come
now, Giddy. By your own statement her opinion matters less than the
dog's."
Gideon
stared moodily out the window to the darkening landscape. "I don't have a
dog. And don't call me Giddy. Only Jacqueline can call me that."
Quince
raised his brows at that last, quietly added statement.
Gideon
accomplished a great deal of work while in London. Debate for the Corn Laws raged
for nearly a week, with passionate arguments both for and against. The House
also took up the Treaty with America and discussed the Congress of Vienna.
Meanwhile, with Mr. Miller's help he was able to catch up on his paperwork and
correspondence. The young man was a godsend.
He
ordered some wardrobe essentials for his wife, stopping short of sending her
fabric and seamstresses since she would probably consider that more of an
inconvenience than a treat. Then he tracked down the cabinetmaker with the best
reputation in London and ordered a crew to be sent to Kellington to create
whatever the countess might request.
As the
following week wound down he realized he couldn't put off going home any
longer. It was a shock to know he had been purposefully avoiding Kellington,
which made the third time his wife had put him in this position. He never delayed
things, ever. His philosophy was to always deal with things straight on and
that there was no time like the present to get things done. He would be damned
if his prickly, opinionated wife was going to make him change how he did
things.
In
the spirit of not delaying, he went to the Walters house and bullied Mr.
Walters into taking funds for Tyche and set off for Kent that very morning. No
time like the present, he told himself. If she was still upset then they would
argue about it until it was resolved.
Jack
was in turns relieved that her husband hadn't returned, and annoyed that he not
only hadn't returned, but also hadn't sent a letter telling her when he would.
Things arrived almost daily from London. Clothing, craftsmen who measured her
suite and discussed where to install shelves and cabinets, and miscellaneous
household items that she supposed were from the earl but they didn't include
any explanatory notes. She remanded the clothes to Lara, gave the foreman exact
specifications for her room, and left Mrs. Goodstone in charge of the
miscellaneous items. She also hadn't heard from Justin yet and hoped that a
letter from him would arrive before Gideon did. Of course the list of bills he
sponsored, and his voting record, wouldn't give her any insight into things
that he killed at inception, like the duke's proposal for women's rights. She
was loath to ask the duke for insight as he had his own political axe to grind.
She didn't feel like she could even talk to her husband until she understood
what she would be expected to support in this marriage. By arriving to an event
on his arm and simply remaining silent, she would be assumed to be in support
of all his decisions and policies.
It rankled.
She had never been much for politics but she certainly had her own opinions and
feelings! Was she to forever suppress them since to do otherwise could
compromise his career? She hadn't expected marriage to make her less of a
person but perhaps she should have. A married woman owned no property. It all belonged
to her husband. She herself belonged to her husband.
To
make matters worse she had been feeling poorly for the past few days. She had
barely eaten and when she did, it seemed to all come back up. She knew that
being upset made her lose her appetite, but this sickness combined with what
could only be grieving for the marriage she thought she had was making her
sleepless and grouchy. When she realized she had snapped at a chamber maid for
no good reason, she took herself to her rooms to at least try to recover from
whatever ague had laid her low.
Gideon
strode into the front hall of Kellington and handed Dibbs his coat, gloves, and
hat. "How fares the household, Dibbs?"
"Well
enough considering my lady is ill."
"My
wife is ill? Where is she?"
"My
understanding is that she's been in her rooms for the last two days, my
lord."
"Thank
you, Dibbs. I shall go there directly."
"My
lord," Dibbs said, gently halting Gideon on the first stair step. "Do
know that she hasn't... been herself of late."
Gideon
jogged up the steps. Well, then. Either Jack hadn't gotten over Quince's visit
or she was quite ill. He knocked on the door to her suite and pushed it open.
She was in the sitting room, curled up on the settee under a throw, and
reading. She looked like death. Her hair was pulled back, there were circles
under her eyes, and if he wasn't mistaken, she had lost weight. The look she
gave him was somewhere between rage and misery. "So. You've
returned."
Although
irritated by her continued obstinance, he was alarmed that her health had
changed so significantly in his absence. She needed to be in bed. She needed to
be eating. She needed… he didn’t know what. But he would figure it out and
ensure that she received it.
"You
should be in bed." He bent over to pick her up and she held up a hand to
fend him off.
"I'm
fine where I am."
"You
should be in bed," he repeated, scooping her into his arms despite her
struggles. Holding her, he could confirm that she had lost weight. Enough for
it to worry him. "Are you not eating at all?"
Her
struggles became more pronounced until she finally wriggled free and landed on
the bedroom rug on her hands and knees. He dropped down beside her to check her
for scrapes but she scrambled away from him. "Stop it. Leave me
alone."
"Jack,
you're not being reasonable."
"No,
I'm not being reasonable. Just go away and leave me alone." She had
pressed herself against the wall, pulling her knees up to and curling herself
over so that her face was hidden.
"I'm
not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."
This
brought her gaze back up to his. "How can you even ask me that?"
"I
am asking you that. Is this still about that foolishness that Quince brought
up?"
"Foolishness?
You think it's foolishness?"
"Yes,"
he said, rising to prowl her room. "I think it’s foolishness. I don't see
why you're still worried about it."
She
pushed herself up the wall. "You arrogant ass."
"Fine,
are you going to stand here and defend all of your sex to me? All those empty
headed little fools and manipulative vipers? Women like you, who are educated
and intelligent, are beyond rare."
"As
if your sex is any better? The
ton
has scores of fops and rakes and vicious men whose only pursuit is wealth and
influence regardless of whom they hurt. How am I supposed to feel better
knowing that each of them has the right to direct the flow of governance?"
"At
least men are expected to be educated."
"A
bloody lot of good it does! And why couldn't women be expected to be educated
as well?"
He
threw his hands in the air. "Now you want better education for women!
Well, you'd best write a letter to Quince, I'm sure he would be happy to take
that issue forward to the House of Lords for you."
"
You make me feel as though I don't even know you! Why do you have to be
so..." Her voice trailed off and she put a hand to her head then crumpled
to the floor.
Gideon
felt his heart lodge in his throat when she fell. Cradling her in his arms he
moved her to the bed, then rang for Lara. When the maid appeared he demanded,
"Has the doctor come to see my wife yet?"
The
little maid shook her head, backing away from him.
"Send
for him now, please. I will expect him immediately. And ask cook for anything
that is good for fainting."
"Yes,
my lord," she said with a quick curtsy and then fled the room.
His
Jacqueline was starkly pale, the dark circles under her eyes standing out like
charcoal. Gods, he felt like an ogre for yelling at her. She was upset but that
was certainly something they could work out. Stubborn as she was, yelling at
her wouldn't change her mind. He kissed her limp hands and waited for someone
to come who could tell him what to do for her.
Jack
awoke to a sharp smell that made her sneeze. She sat up rubbing her nose and
saw a wizened, bespectacled man looking at her. "Hello, Lady Harrington,"
he said with the barest sketch of a bow, "I'm Doctor Galloway. How are you
feeling?"
"Tired.
Sore. What happened?"
He
sat on the edge of her bed and patted her hand. "You fainted, my dear.
Gave Lord Harrington quite a scare. Your maid says you have been feeling ill
this week?"
"Yes.
Exhausted, sick to my stomach. I'm sure it will pass."
"Most
likely. When was the last time you had your menses?"
"What?"
"Your
female bleeding, my dear."
She
stared off toward the window. "Not since... before we were married."
"It's
possible you may also have some other complaint but most likely it is just the
early stages of pregnancy. This may be news you want to keep to yourself. Many
pregnancies don't make it past the first month. Or, if you wish, I can tell his
lordship the news. You're young and healthy, we have no reason to believe you
won't carry to term."
"No,
it’s all right,” she said softly. “I'll tell him. When we're more
certain."
"Then
I will plan to come back and see you next month to check on your progress, my dear.
Send for me if you begin to believe you have a malady. Dibbs knows my
direction."
She
nodded. "Yes, of course."
As
he prepared to leave she said, "Wait, doctor. What should I tell my
husband when he asks what was wrong?"
"We'll
just tell him you were overwrought. That tends to be a diagnosis that husbands
don't press for too many details on."
She
nodded again and went back to looking out the window. There had been a time
when she would have been delighted to know that she carried Gideon's child but
now it felt like another thing that would bind them too closely together. After
the doctor left she stroked her stomach. "I'm sorry, sweetling, you don't
deserve to be born into a house of strife."
When
the doctor had told him that Jacqueline was "overwrought" Gideon
thought to give her some time to recover. But a week had passed and he hadn't
seen hide nor hair of her. Tired of having his wife avoid him, Gideon walked
into her rooms to seek her out. She wasn't in her sitting room, where he saw
some bookshelves had been added. It was fine work indeed with delicate
scrollwork painted light blue and edged with gilt of such fine craftsmanship
one could hardly tell it was not originally part of the room. Entering her
bedroom, he saw that shelves and cabinets had been added in here as well.
Undoubtedly her weapons lurked in one of those cabinets since he didn't see
them on display. Perhaps having them inaccessible would ensure that the two of them
didn't come to sword point. If he could find her. On cursory review of the room
he didn't see her on the bed or in one of the chairs. Just before he was going
to give up and search the library again he noticed two slippered feet on one of
the window seats, the rest of the woman hidden behind a billowing blue and
yellow curtain. As he approached the window, she was slowly revealed beyond the
curtain in her yellow morning dress with a book open on her lap. She looked as
though she felt better, her skin clear and rosy and her hair again in the soft,
pinned waves she preferred. He leaned against the wall opposite her and looked
down, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest. She was so beautiful.
"Yes?"
she said irritably, without looking up.
"I
thought to check on you since you've now closeted yourself away up here for
nearly a fortnight. Mrs. Gladstone says you still haven't been feeling
well."
She
turned a page. "Indeed I haven't."
"I've
missed you at breakfast." He found it gave his heart a bit of a lurch to
admit as much. His statement seemed to give her pause, however, and her glance
flicked up as far as his waistcoat before she trained her eyes back on her
book.
"Have
you? My apologies for leaving you without company."
"I
thought you never missed the family meal."
Her
brows furrowed. "That was when I had a family."
The
statement lay there between them, revealing exactly how much her feelings had
changed. For a moment Gideon couldn't breathe. A tight band of tension wrapped
his chest, leaving his heart feeling like it had iced over as a pond does in
winter. He slowly straightened from the wall. "I see." He walked
across her room to their adjoining door and then through it, closing it with a
very soft click. Staring at the handle for a few moments he finally reached out
to engage the lock.