Trapped With the Alpha (Balfour Shifters Book 1) (10 page)

Instead of the depths of hell, I fall to the floor with a bang. As fast as it began, the pain comes to a complete stop. I lie there panting in an attempt to catch my breath, wondering what just happened. That’s when I realize the floor is solid beneath me. The hard wood feels strange against my skin, and then, I notice the air has a bit of chill, causing goose bumps to pebble over my skin. I’m so shocked; a quiet gasp escapes my mouth. I can feel, really feel things around me. 

The pounding of my heart is the only thing I can hear as I slowly open my eyes and take in my surroundings. I’m still in Brody’s room. Nothing else has changed, only me. Reaching down, I run my hand over the grain of the wood. Each dent and pivot causes a shudder to rush through my body. Everything feels so foreign, as if I’ve never felt anything touch my skin before.

Looking up from my place on the floor, I see Brody sitting on the edge of his ruined bed. His muscular arms are propped up on his knees, while his hands thread through his dark hair as he pulls at it in agitation. I can hear him muttering to himself, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what he is saying. The only thing I know for sure is that he’s in excruciating pain.

As much as I want to hate him for repeatedly ripping my soul apart, my heart can’t help but break for him. My gorgeous wolf is nothing more than a broken shell of a man, which is exactly what I feared would happen. “Oh, Brody,” I whisper out, feeling my heart shatter into a million pieces.

As soon as the words leave my lips, his head snaps up. He sits deadly still, staring straight ahead for a moment, before he slowly turns his head in my direction. His chiseled face looks distorted in pain. I sit huddled on the floor, completely nude and bared to him, as his stunning amber eyes lock on me. He takes me in, from my head to my feet and back again, without saying a word.

“Isabel?” he questions, cocking his head to the side as he stares at me in awe.

Wrapping my arms around myself to hide my nakedness, I look up into his eyes. For the first time in eight-hundred years, I swear he is looking back at me. As much as I want to believe it, to believe he sees me, my mind just won’t accept it. 

Finally building up my courage, I ask, “Can you see me, Brody?”

He doesn’t reply, just stares at me. His eyes shift quickly from amber to blue, as if his inner beast is pushing to get out. Unsure of what to do or if this is even really happening, I continue to sit on the floor and stare at him. A part of me wonders if this is hell, my hope rising only to be shattered again. Nothing could be worse than that.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I mentally debate whether or not I should say something else. I fear that if I do, and my words go unheard one more time, I may pass my breaking point.  Maybe it will break whatever spell I am under, so I just sit, unwilling to utter a single word.

Shaking his head back and forth, as if to clear a mental fog, he continues to stare at me. Finally, he says, “Pixie, is that you?”

Tears start to fall from in my eyes as I slowly start to move backwards on the floor. The fear that this isn’t really happening causes me to panic. Have I finally gone mad? Not wanting this to end but afraid it’s just my imagination, I whisper out, “No.”

His head tilts to the side, still studying me. “Izzy?”

Again, I don’t answer him. My fear is too great. As I slide back another foot, Brody snaps out of his daze and lunges for me. Landing directly on top of my body, he causes me to fall back and hit the cold wood, where I lay spread eagle below him.

Before he even has a chance to say anything, I notice his touch. I can feel his skin, his clothes, and his breath on my bare skin. Unable to control myself any longer, I cry out his name. Brody?”

“Izzy,” he growls out, boring his face in my hair.

A whimper escapes my throat as Brody’s smell assaults my senses, all spice and earth and absolutely one-hundred percent man. “I can feel you.”

Raising his head, he looks into my eyes. “How could I have forgotten you?”

Grasping onto the hair on either side of my head with shaking hands, he continues to look down on me in utter shock and amazement. “Oh my God, Isabel, it’s you.”

“It’s me,” I whisper, tears clouding my vision.

“It really is you. I remember, Izzy. I remember everything, baby,” he says, letting out a growl of anguish. “Why did I forget you?”

Before I’m able to respond, his lips crash down on mine. For a second, I’m lost in the taste of him. Then, the scent of perfume hits my nose, reminding me of the woman who just left his bed. Memories of all the other women he has been with follow closely behind. 

 As much as I want to tear my mouth from his, an even bigger part of me wants to devour him. For eight-hundred years, I have dreamt of this moment, of the moment where I would finally have my wolf back. No amount of anger will take that from me. With that in mind, I submit to him completely.

It feels too good not to allow myself this small piece of him after the hell I’ve been through. I need a bit of pleasure before we are forced to discuss what has happened. I devour his lips, knowing there are too many things to discuss for this to last long. Opening to him, I feel the first brush of his tongue against mine, and it awakens a need I have long since forgotten existed. The hunger I only get for Brody is enough to make me gasp. Opening my mouth to him even more, he greedily takes advantage of it, slipping his tongue into my mouth and ravaging me as if he is afraid I will vanish again at any second.

After what is not nearly long enough, he begins to slow the kiss until we are merely sitting with our lips unmoving but touching. Neither one of us is willing to be the first to break the contact we currently share. Resting his forehead against mine, a sigh leaves his mouth, breaking our connection. Whether it is a sigh of contentment or confusion, I do not know. I stay as still as possible, trying to absorb everything that has happened in the last few minutes.

My thoughts are jumbled, one question after another popping in my head. How the hell have I gone from living an empty existence, trapped behind some unknown barrier, to being held and loved by Brody? Honestly, after spending the past eight centuries in that in-between world, I have yet to figure out how I got there or what exactly forced me there in the first place.

Finally, he lifts his head and gazes down at me. His eyes are shining with the most amazing look of longing I have ever seen. “Oh, Izzy. I remember everything but have no clue what is going on here.”

“I don’t know,” I say, as confused as he is.

He pulls his head back, looking down at me with his beautiful amber eyes. “I feel as if I just woke up from the strangest dream, as if I’ve been walking around surrounded by a thick fog. I don’t know why I just remembered you and you suddenly appeared. I definitely don’t know why the only piece of you I have been left with was haunting dreams that have tormented me for years.” 

Drawing in a deep breath, he starts questioning me. “Where have you been, Isabel? Where the hell have you been for the last eight-hundred years?”

This last question comes out as if he is roaring at me. It’s as if he is accusing me of doing something wrong. Does he truly think I chose to run off and leave behind not just him but everything I have ever known? “Are you angry with me?”

His eyes flicker again, turning nearly solid blue. “You just disappeared. You left me alone, with no mate. Why did you run away?”

His words have my earlier excitement fading away. “Of course, this is my fault. I so detested being mated to one of the most powerful wolves in the world that I chose to leave you.”

“Izzy,” he growls out in warning, a warning I totally ignore.

“Running away was so much better than staying with a man who loved me more than anything in the world, especially when I loved him just the same. Yes, Brody, that totally sounds like something I would do.”

“Izzy,” he growls out again, his voice growing harder. “Where have you been?”

After hearing this question again, the anger that my desire to be with him had at first muted rushes to the forefront of my mind. Barely able to conceal the rage seeping through my body, I lean forward and push against his chest, causing him to stumble back and land on his ass in surprise.

“Where have I been? I’ve been right here by your side for the last eight-hundred years. I’ve been forced to live a hell unlike anything you can imagine,” I yell, jumping from the floor.

Walking to the other side of the room, I completely forget about my naked body. “I was locked away but not far enough away. No, my hell was worse than that. I was forced to witness you screw your way through the majority of the female population. Every time you had sex with some whore, I was right by your side, getting my own private show.”

Instantly, his jaw drops. His mouth hangs open as he stares at me in shock. “What?”

“You heard every word that left my mouth, so don’t ask me to repeat it,” I shout, crossing my arms over my chest.

I’m sure I just shocked the shit out of him with my attitude and vulgar language. Well, I’ve learned a lot from him through the years, and I’m going to put it to good use now. I am no longer the soft, innocent little Pixie he remembers. I’m now a grown ass woman who’s full of nothing but anger. He is entirely to blame for that, and I’m going to make sure he pays.

“Isabel,” he stutters, still in shock. “I didn’t know. I swear to you, I didn’t have any clue that you were here, let alone that you even existed.”

The fact that he forgot me causes my anger to grow. “I know. You forgot me as easily as all your other women.” 

“For God’s sake, Izzy, you know how much I love you. Do you honestly think I chose to forget you? I don’t know how it happened, but I sure in the hell didn’t choose to do it.” He pushes himself off the floor. “I would never, ever dream of hurting you knowingly. How can you even think I could? You know me better than that.”

“Well, apparently, I don’t know you as well as I thought I did. The man I once loved more than life would never have done the things you did last night.” The words are out of my mouth before I can even think about them. 

“The man you once loved?” he yells, walking toward me. “What that supposed to mean?”

“It means I hate you,” I roar, balling my fists.

I meet him halfway and shove him hard. He stumbles back, not prepared for my attack. “Izzy, don’t say shit you don’t mean.”

“I do mean it. At this very moment, I hate you. Right now, standing here in the same room where you have brought those whores, I feel as if I am going to be sick.” 

 I’m so mad that my body is shaking steadily now. I have never in all my years felt like this. I literally just want to walk right up to him and slap him in the face. As much as I love him, I mean my words. My anger has built up over eight-hundred years, turning that love into something ugly, something that seems an awful lot like hate.

“You hate me?” he whispers, the hurt written all over his face, but anger still lingers in his tone. 

“Yeah, well, right now, I do hate you,” I spit out at him, unable to hold my words back. “I may have been born to love you, Brody, but that still doesn’t stop me from being able to have just as big of a part of my heart that detests you.”

The pain is gone, replaced completely by his anger. “How can you say that to me? I’m your mate, Isabel—your mate!”

“Maybe I don’t want to be your mate any longer,” I argue, knowing it to be a lie.

His eyes shine a startling blue, letting me know how close he is to losing control to his wolf. “We don’t choose our mates. The fates do. You can’t just undo the bond and decide to hate me. We are destined to be together for eternity.”

“Well, the fates decided to mess with my life, locking me away from everything and everybody. Maybe I want to mess with them, too,” I yell as my heart races in my chest.

“Don’t say that, Izzy,” he pleads, staring at me with hurt in his eyes

 That look just pisses me off even more. How dare he have the nerve to look at me like that after the hell I have been forced to live? I’m the one who was stuck in that God forsaken prison, forced to watch him whip his dick out whenever there was a warm and willing body present. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“How am I supposed to look at you? Think about the things you are saying,” he growls as if I should be the one apologizing to him.

 “Oh, please, forgive me, Your Royal Highness,” I bark out, purposely pulling out a name I know he hates. “How dare I be mad at you when you didn’t know? It’s not as if I was supposed to be your heart and soul. Remember, your destined mate who you would spend your life with? I shouldn’t be upset you completely forgot about me. It’s not your fault that you went on with your life, giving what was mine to woman after woman.”

“That’s not what happened,” he shouts, running a hand through his shoulder length hair.

Nodding my head, I paste on a smile. “Of course, that wasn’t what happened at all. You’re right. I can’t hate you. I have no right to that emotion.”

He reaches his hand out to me, no doubt hoping he can get his hands on me and make me forget my anger. He just barely grazes my arm before I slap his hand away. Moving away from him, it finally dawns on me that I’m completely naked. For some reason, the thought of him seeing me this way has my stomach rolling. “I need something to wear.”

“Just get one of my shirts.” I skirt around him as he sits down at the end of the bed, anger still gracing his handsome face, and stalk toward his closet to grab one.

Grabbing the first shirt I find, I whip it over my head and turn back to continue reprimanding him. “Do you even comprehend how hard it was, watching you with all those women?”

“I can’t imagine.” He’s now staring at me, as if in a daze.

I have no doubt that he’s in shock right now and still trying to figure everything out. If I weren’t so damn mad, I would probably be in shock myself. However, I am in fact livid, so I am currently unable and unwilling to care about how he feels. “Well, let me tell you, it sucks.”

Just as I clear the doorway of the closet, I reach behind me and slam the door shut, hoping to get him to snap out of his daze. It works immediately, just as I knew it would. His head snaps up to look and me. His brow is furrowed in confusion, and his fists clenched at his side. It’s obvious that he doesn’t know what to make of me at the moment.