Trapped Under Ice (26 page)

“That’s the one,” he muttered.

Beth fiddled with her cocktail napkin. “How long did you date?”

“Three or four months,” he replied. He turned around and rested his forearms on the bar. “She’s the one ‘Jigsaw’ is about.”

“Jigsaw” was the song that launched them to stardom. A line went through her head: “You left me like a jigsaw puzzle, pieces spread across the floor/And I’ve lost the picture on the box now/so I can’t put myself back together anymore.” So, obviously this was someone who meant something to him at one time. After a bit, she inquired, her voice wavering slightly, “So what did she say to you?”

“She said you were pretty. Then, she offered to sleep with me,” he pronounced matter-of-factly. “Bartender, can I get another beer?”

Beth was so shocked she didn’t know what to say. She stared at her wine glass, totally taken aback. They sat in silence until the bartender shuffled off. She couldn’t help but feel insecure in this environment. Models, politicians, movie stars, and who was she? A lunch lady from the Midwest dressed up in a fancy dress.

“Do you still love her?”

He thought about this. “I’m not sure I ever did. I thought I did, for a while.” Chad saw a shadow cross over her face. “But no, I don’t love her. To tell you the truth, she makes me sick.”

“But sometimes bitterness conceals feelings—”

“Beth,” Chad interrupted, taking her hands and looking her in the eyes, “whatever feelings I may have had for that woman at one time, it has
nothing
to do with you and me.”

“Okay.” She sighed, unable to hide her relief. Chad hugged her and they held on to each other for a minute.

He drew apart with a wry expression on his face. “Now, are you going to dance with me, or what?”

It had been so long since they’d been together—well, long enough—and she didn’t want to let anything interfere with them having a good time tonight. Her lips lifted and she spun off her stool. “Lead the way.”

Having cleared things between them, they relaxed and actually ended up having a blast on the dance floor. But after about twenty minutes, a song came on they didn’t recognize.

“
Arghhh. You can’t dance to this trash,” Chad muttered in disgust. “I need to run to the bathroom for a second, anyway.”

“Okay, I’ll go get us some more drinks. Meet me by the bar. You want a beer?” Chad nodded and they separated.

As she waited for the bartender to bring back the drinks, a young man approached her. “Excuse me. I hope I’m not being too much of a bother, but is that Chad Evans you’re with?”

“What?” Beth yelled. “I’m sorry. I can’t hear you above this music.”

He moved closer to her so he could talk directly into her ear.

“Oh yes. It’s Chad Evans.”

“I’m a huge fan of Trapped Under Ice. Do you think he would give me his autograph?”

Meanwhile, Chad was returning from the bathroom. He saw a dark-haired man at the bar lean into Beth intimately. The guy actually came back to hit on her! It wasn’t enough he’d tried it once, but as soon as he saw Beth alone, he came back to try again. Talk about ballsy. Chad might have believed the guy’s excuse the first time around, but he was not about to be made a fool of now. He tried to talk himself down from the ledge, but he went from zero to sixty in about two seconds. Without saying a word, he marched over to the guy and punched him in the face. A fraction of a second before contact, he had the sudden realization this was not the same guy as before.

Beth screamed as the guy fell into her. “Chad. Stop. He’s just a fan wanting an autograph for God’s sake.” Her voice was shaking. “Oh my God, are you all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” the guy claimed, though he seemed to be trying to appear a lot tougher than he probably felt.

“Shit! I’m sorry, man.”

The nightclub owner came over. “What’s happening here?”

The fan was brushing himself off. “Nothing. It was just a misunderstanding is all,” he avowed, peering at Chad.

The owner glanced at Chad, too. Recognition sparked in his eyes. “You’re Chad Evans. A friend told me if you were going to be here tonight, I should get rubber stools. Now I know what he meant.” He licked his lips. “Look, we don’t want any trouble in here.”

Stan bustled up to take charge of things. “There won’t be any trouble. Chad was just about to take his lady friend here home, weren’t you Chad?”

Chad studied Beth. He could see how upset she was and he was kicking himself for having done it to her. Yes, their evening was definitely over.

Somehow Stan got the limo to drive up outside. He hustled them into the back, reassuring Chad he would take care of everything. He’d give the guy some tickets or some money or whatever it took, and the club owner, too. He would smooth things over.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

It was a short, silent ride to the apartment Chad kept for whenever he was in town. When he tried to hold her hand, Beth brushed him off. He could see she was on a low simmer, getting closer to a boiling point with each block. When the door closed on his loft apartment, he made an attempt at conversation.

“Beth—”

“Don’t say anything, Chad. Just don’t say anything. I’ve got to think. I’ve got to get out of here for a second.” She moved to the door. It got about two inches open before Chad slammed it shut again, his hands on either side of her to keep her from moving. Fire dancing in her eyes, Beth turned on him. “Dammit, Chad, let me out
of—”

He kissed her.

She pulled away. “Chad, don’t!” she spat angrily, but he kissed her again. She pushed on him. “Chad. Sex is not going to solve our problems.” He moved his hands from the door to her back, and pulled her into him. “Chad, please.” Her voice was weak.

And that was the end of the argument.

***
         

Beth woke up naked on the couch next to Chad, feeling guilty somehow for giving into him the night before. She extricated herself from his arms and scouted around for her bag, pulling out the clothes she planned for the day. She realized, with regret, she forgot to pack a second bra. Her eyes roamed over the items of clothing flung here and there, searching for the bra from the night before. She saw her dress, one stocking, her heels, and there it was, under Chad’s left shoulder. Cursing fate, she pulled on the rest of her clothes. She would have to wait until he woke up.

The morning sun was pouring in the windows, and she crossed the apartment to gaze out at the new day dawning. After a while, she glanced back at him, crammed onto a sofa much shorter than he was. She felt the surge in her heart she went through whenever she observed him.

What am I doing? I’m living in a fantasy world here, sleeping with a rock star and…and what?
Would this ever work between them? He on the road, she at home. And what about these fights he was starting? Did she really know what was driving him to do these things? Did she know him at all? After all, the first time they met, he was punching somebody.
Maybe that should have been an omen.
She sighed.
But he did that to help me, so maybe it was a good omen.

Then, there were the other questions.
Can I really love a man again? Maybe this is only an attraction, like Cali says, simply two people who are hot for each other.
Her heart was muddled.
Then why do the feelings I have for him terrify me so
?
She peered at him again, alone on the couch.
Maybe I should just end this
.
We’re so different, he and I. I should just save myself the pain
. But the very thought made her feel sick and caused tears to come to her eyes.

How odd that, at a time like this, Beth’s thoughts turned to Paul. It was then the tears really came, coursing down her cheeks.
Oh, God, Paul! How I wish you were here sometimes. I counted on your advice so much.
She started laughing through her tears, realizing how asinine it was for her to ask her late husband for advice on her new boyfriend.
I’m freakin’ losing my mind.
She wiped furiously at her tears. Would Paul have liked Chad? Her immediate thought was, no. They were so different.
But wouldn’t he see the same things in Chad I do? How funny he is, and how sweet, when he’s not punching things.
And there was that unexplainable something, the pull he had on her heart. It was the age-old dilemma.

A line from a song drifted across her mind, The Clash singing, “Should I stay, or should I go, now,” She knew she had a decision to make, and it wasn’t going to be easy.

***
              

Chad woke up in his apartment on the couch, naked and alone, covered only by a thin blanket. He lifted his head to hunt for Beth. She stood by the window wearing jeans and a soft, thin, yellow sweater. She was leaning against one of the brick walls surrounding the apartment, staring out one of the three large windows taking up most of the one outside wall. The sun shining in through the windows gave her an almost magical luminescence. She had one hand across her chest; the other arm was bent up as she was chewing on her fingernails. He sat and regarded her for several seconds without speaking.

After awhile, she felt his eyes and she turned her head. He could tell she had been crying. She trudged over to him, her arms crossed over her chest. That was when he could see she had no bra on.

Beth cleared her throat. “I need to get my…clothes. You’re sitting on them.”

Chad was amused by the fact she seemed embarrassed to say the word “bra” in front of him, especially after the wild sex they had the night before. He sat up and handed her the bra, fighting the smirk that threatened to cross his face. She snatched the bra from his hand in irritation, and spun away from him. She pulled her arms in through the sleeves and hitched her sweater up a little so she could put her bra on. He saw the silky skin of her back, the indent of her waist, and he wanted to drag her back to the couch and make love to her again. He fantasized briefly about it, replaying images from the night before, and then she was yanking the sweater down and he was back to the here and now.

She didn’t turn. “I’m leaving now,” she stated firmly. “I need to think.”

Before he could say anything, she was out of the apartment. He jumped up. Realizing he was naked, he grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around his lower body before rushing out to the hall. She was waiting at the end of the corridor for the elevator. “Beth, you can’t leave. For God’s sake, this is New York. At least let me come with you.”

She appeared torn for a minute. “No. I need to breathe. I can’t breathe when I am around you,” she cried out, almost in a panic. “I need to breathe.”

“I’ll go with her,” Pete put forth, stepping out of the adjacent apartment he stayed in whenever they were in town.

Chad’s eyes swung from Pete to Beth and back to Pete again, unsure of what to do. “You’ll take care of her?”

“That is the idea,” he remarked gruffly, marching past him to take her elbow and escort her into the now open elevator.

The elevator closed and Chad could hear it descend to the lower floors. He stood for a minute in the hallway, wrapped in the blanket. Then, having nothing else to do, he turned and went back inside.

***              

They rode in silence for several minutes, Pete thinking about just what he would say to Chad if he got the chance. Though watching the crowd outside, he’d heard about the incident at the club. He thought about Chad’s comment. ‘
You’ll take care of her?’ Better than you do, you asshole.
The bodyguard noticed Beth’s shoulders shaking and her hand covering her eyes.
Poor thing
. He handed her his handkerchief, adding a few more curse words to his imagined dialogue with the singer.

“Thanks.” Beth seemed to regain control. The elevator came to a stop, but luckily no one was waiting to get on. “I’m sorry,” she added, focusing briefly on his face. “I know how uncomfortable you must feel...”

“Now. Now.” He hugged the diminutive woman, his larger arm cumbersome as he tried to slip it around her. Then, unsure of his next step, he simply patted Beth on the back, hoping she would find it comforting. “
You
have nothing to be sorry for.”

Beth remained silent. The two left the apartment building and trudged up the street, the bodyguard holding her hand patiently. Beth stopped at the corner. “I don’t know where I’m going,” she came out with, her voice small.

“How about a cup of coffee,” Pete suggested. “There’s a place across the street, and I won’t bother you. I’ll give you all the space to breathe you need,” he promised.

She gave him a quivery smile, and stretched up on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. Without saying another word, they trudged over to the coffeehouse directly across from Chad’s apartment. They ordered and Beth moved to sit by the window.

“I’ll just be over here if you need me,” Pete offered, choosing a table at some distance from her. He was a patient man. He learned all about waiting as a bodyguard. He thought about his wife, whom he had lost to cancer before coming to work for Chad.