Trapped (8 page)

Chapter Twelve

Lisa was disappointed again the next morning
, when Bradley Rosin appeared to make rounds.

I can’t get this right
, she thought.

“Don’t worry, Lisa, Mike said he’d try to come in this afternoon. He has an office full of follow-ups this morning.”

Lisa continued to watch for Mike. Each time the door opened, she turned to look in anticipation.

Stop acting like a teenager
, she thought.

Shortly after her lunch break, Lisa went to the nursing administration office to sign some employment forms. When she returned, Leona
Lee, who was standing across the room, waved and mouthed, “He’s in there,” pointing toward the nurse’s lounge, and smiling.

When she entered the room, Mike was in conversation with Eileen Baker, the head nurse of the NICU.

Mike looked up when Lisa entered, and smiled. He motioned for her to sit beside him, and continued his conversation.

“It’s so sad,” Eileen said.

“I know, but what can we do?”

Lisa sat next to Mike.

He turned to Lisa. “I was telling Eileen about my deposition yesterday. Eileen was here when we admitted that baby.”

“You should have seen that one, Lisa. Twenty-seven weeks
, and a mere 950 grams, but she was a beautiful, perfectly formed baby girl.”

“What happened?” Lisa asked.

“None of us thought she’d make it,” said Mike, “but damned if she did. It was tricky for a while, but finally we sent her home.”

“That’s great, Mike. What was the deposition about?”

Mike turned to Eileen, and nodded.

“After you’re here a while, Lisa,” Eileen said, “
you’ll understand that surviving the NICU for a baby so small is just the beginning. Most babies like Cindy Harkins will eventually show the wounds of coming into the world too soon.”

“Cindy
,” Mike said, “and most babies like her, are destined to have developmental abnormalities of one kind or the other. It’s hard to feel good about your work when the outcome is a severely disabled baby.”

“What wrong with the baby?” Lisa asked.

Mike tightened his lips. “Cindy Harkins has severe cerebral palsy and developmental defects. She’ll never live without hands-on help. She’ll never walk or leave a wheelchair without help. She won’t be able to dress or clean herself.”

“My God,” Lisa cried, her eyes filling. “What are we doing here if that’s the outcome?”

Eileen looked at Mike, and shook her head. “You’ve recently finished your training in neonatal care, Lisa. You’re inexperienced, but you know that what we do in NICU makes a difference. You know the statistics about increased survival and reduction in disability, but often success comes at a price.”

“A price?” Lisa asked.

“They keep raising the bar on us,” Mike said. “Twenty years ago, the tiny babies we’re treating, born on the cusp of viability, had no chance; they all died. Today, they swim the rapids. Some drown, some are damaged on the rocky shores, and some make it across to a normal life. Our problem, and by that, I mean to include the medical team and the family, is that we can’t know in advance which baby will reach the safety of the distant shore, unharmed.”

“They’re suing you because of the baby’s injuries?” Lisa asked.

“No, they called me as an expert witness. They want to know if the doctor or the hospital in Fremont was in some way responsible for the baby’s disability. The plaintiff, the baby’s family, wants the court to find negligence and compensate the family with money—a lot of money.”

“Their expenses must be horrendous,” Lisa said. “They’re going to need a small fortune to provide the baby with the bare essentials. By
‘they’ you mean the family, don’t you?”

“No, I’m testifying for the neonatologist and the hospital.”

“You’re taking their side?” Lisa asked. “I can’t believe it.”

Mike flushed with anger, and then took a deep breath. “I know it’s compassion that leads you to say that, but your conclusion is shallow
, and ill-informed. Moreover, it’s an insult to everyone who worked their asses off to help that baby.”

“Wait a minute, Mike,” Eileen said. “She’s just expressing her concern.”

Mike turned to face Lisa. “Who are you to second guess me? Did you treat this baby? Did you work with these parents through Cindy’s horrendous hospitalization? Did you study the records for weeks before understanding what happened?”

“Mike, I just…” she cried.

“You’re a caring, sweet woman, Lisa, but in an instant, you concluded that I’m some kind of whore for the insurance company…”

“I never said that.”

Mike stood, and then paced the room, his face still red with anger. “I can’t fix the world, Lisa. I can’t make this baby better, or improve this family’s lot in life. All I can do is tell the truth about what happened. Attorneys seek the help of professional expert witnesses who will testify to anything for a fee. They’re the real whores in malpractice litigation, and excuse me if I choose to not be included in that company.”

Mike started for the door. “I’ll be in my office, Eileen, if you need me.”

After he left, Lisa began crying. “I’m so sorry. I felt so bad for that baby and her family.”

“It’s not your fault
, Lisa,” Eileen said. “Mike hates these cases. He serves as an expert witness for both sides from a sense of obligation, but in an adversarial process, each side wants to win at all costs, truth be damned. Yet each time he testifies, one side or the other challenges his expertise, his character, or both. Mike tells the truth, but when you sink in the sewer of malpractice litigation, you emerge covered with its stench.”

“I keep screwing it up with Mike. I thought something was happening between us, but…”

“He’s a complicated guy, Lisa, and a passionate one, too. Don’t give up, yet. I know him. Right now, he’s kicking himself for lashing out at you. In two minutes, he’ll remember that you’re not the enemy.”

Chapter Thirteen

By the time Mike reached his office, he regretted his eruption. He placed his head on his desk, and shouted, “Dumb, really dumb.”

It wasn’t Lisa
, he knew. He’d thought through his role as an actor in the theater of the absurd, malpractice litigation.
If I’m so damn sure that I’m right, then why did I have that outburst? Why was I hurt when Lisa failed to give me the benefit of the doubt?

Mike heard a rap on his door, but before he could respond, Brad Rosin entered.

“I hear they put you through the wringer yesterday at the deposition.”

“Secrets are good for about ten seconds at Brier,” Mike said. “That deposition went as most of them do, with the Vince Lombardi mantra:
‘Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.’”

“Nobody’s forcing you to put yourself out there as an expert witness. The only time you’ll get me in court is by subpoena
, or in handcuffs.”

“Someone’s got to do it,
Brad. We’ve reviewed the trial transcripts of the so-called expert witnesses. Their testimony is shit, pure and simple. I can’t let that stand.”

“Then
you
pay the price.”

Mike looked at Brad, and said, “Maybe too high a price
, this time.”

“What happened?”

“I was discussing the case with Eileen when Lisa came in.”

“She’s a cutie, that one. I think she’s got the hots for you.”

“Not anymore.”

“You didn’t blow up in front of her, did you?”

“I did, and worse. She had the typical knee-jerk reaction to my testifying for the doctor and the hospital. The truth didn’t matter to her. I might have gone off on anyone who so thoughtlessly criticized me. I expected more of Lisa; I thought she knew me. It hurt. She disappointed me, and I let my anger get away.”

“I’d
say that an elaborate apology with a dash of groveling is in order.”

“I hurt her feelings, Brad. Women don’t forget being hurt
, especially not Lisa.”

When Lisa arrived home, Phoebe was in the kitchen chopping vegetables for a salad.

“Hey,
sweetie,” Phoebe said. “Give me a minute, and I’ll bring out some wine and cheese.”

Hearing no response, Phoebe looked up to see Lisa lying quietly on the sofa, her face turned away. “What’s wrong,
honey?”

When Lisa didn’t answer, Phoebe moved to her side. When Lisa turned to face her, Phoebe could see her red eyes, and tear
-streaked face. “What happened? If it’s that damned Mike Cooper, I’ll kick his ass.”

“It was horrible, Phoebe. Mike and Eileen, our head nurse, were discussing one of their preemie cases. The defense called Mike as an expert witness. When I heard about this baby’s course and her severe disabilities, I felt so bad for the baby and her family
that I questioned Mike’s motives in opposing their claim.”

“Why, Lisa, did he do something wrong?”

“I’m sure he didn’t, but I obviously hit a sore spot, and he lost it. He went off on me, like I was nothing, like my feelings didn’t mean anything to him. It was ugly. It brought back memories I don’t care to re-visit again.”

“This is going to sound sexist, but it always winds up this way when men and women argue. We forget the substance of the argument
, and react to the words they use, and the emotions they evoke.”

“But how could he talk to me that way?”

“I’m sure he wishes he didn’t. If you’re going to focus on what he said, rather than why he said it, maybe you’re not ready for a serious relationship. I’d want to understand why he reacted in this way, and if I cared about him, I’d want to help in some way.”

“It’s too late for that.”

“If he’s the kind of guy you described to me, I wouldn’t write him off just yet.”

Chapter Fourteen

That night, Mike tried to catch up on his medical journals, but couldn’t concentrate. He tried to watch television, but he was too distracted to maintain interest. He knew it was Lisa. He’d screwed it up.

He read in bed, and then nodded off, but
awoke ten minutes later.

I can’t get her out of my
head.

Growing up in the warmth of female affection has spoiled me. I should know better, but I expect too much of women, and it hurts when they don’t come through.

Although the morning was unusually warm, Lisa felt chilled as she drove through the wisps of morning fog toward Brier Hospital. Her head
had hit the pillow in exhaustion last night, but her troubled mind had earned her a sleepless night.

She yawned as she entered the NICU for morning report.

Lisa approached Sharon Bridges, the charge nurse of the day shift. “Can I talk with you for a minute?”

“Of course, Lisa. You look tired this morning. Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine, but is it possible…” she hesitated, “to assign me to babies that are not under Dr. Cooper’s care?”

“What’s going on, Lisa?”

“Nothing big. I’m uncomfortable with him, right now. I don’t want anything to distract me from full attention to my babies.”

“This isn’t going to work, Lisa. This is the reason why we discourage romantic relationships between people who work here
, sooner or later, it screws things up.”

“It’s no big thing. I’m upset and sleep
-deprived. It would make it easier for me if I didn’t have to deal with him, today.”

“I’m
sorry, Lisa, but Mike and his partners care for most of our babies. All I can do today is assign you to a couple of our healthiest babies in order to minimize your contact with him. It’s wrong, Lisa, it’s unprofessional, and it’s a misuse of your talents. I’m doing this only for today, but if this is likely to be an ongoing problem, you may have to make other work arrangements. We’d hate to lose you.”

Lose you?
My God
, Lisa thought.

When Mike arrived for morning rounds, Lisa caught him staring at her, but he jerked his eyes away, avoiding hers. The relaxed atmosphere of the NICU, with its friendly banter and joking, ended abruptly when Mike began rounds. A strictly-business approach had replaced his usual boisterous and easygoing joviality. Several nurses stared at Lisa, and their eyes were demanding an explanation.

Lisa continued her work, dreading the encounter ahead.

When Mike moved from incubator to incubator, he deliberately skipped her babies for last.

“Good morning, Ms
. Cooke,” he said at last.

Ms. Cooke? This is crazy
.

“Good morning, Dr. Cooper.”

Mike stared at Lisa, and shook his head in disgust.

Lisa gave Mike a detailed report on the status of her charges, then stood behind him as he examined each baby. As he bent over to listen with his stethoscope, she noticed his broad back
, and the brown curls of his hair, which extended to his neck. She resisted the sudden urge to run her fingers through them.

She must have been standing to
o close to him, because when he straightened up, he bumped into Lisa, sending her stumbling backwards.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know you were so close.”

“I was trying to watch you examine the baby, Mike…, I mean, Dr. Cooper.”

Mike smiled broadly, shaking his head. “This is ridiculous, Lisa.”

“I know,” she said, feeling weak, and looking at her feet.

“Can we talk for a moment?” Mike asked.

“Sharon, can you cover my babies for a minute?”

“
PLEASE,” Sharon said. “Take as much time as you need.”

When Mike and Lisa entered the nurse’s lounge, one
nurse and two aides were drinking coffee.

Mike stared at Lisa, and then turned back to the nurses. “Is it okay if we have the room for a few minutes?”

“PLEASE,” One nurse smiled, and then they left. “Take your time,” the other said.

As the door closed behind them, Mike and Lisa began talking at once
. “I’m sorry—no, I’m sorry—I didn’t mean anything—I was so stupid—I couldn’t sleep at all last night—I was so thoughtless—I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings—you must forgive me.”

Suddenly, both broke out into laughter
. A moment later, they were in each other’s arms.

“I’m an idiot,” Mike said as he kissed her lips and
her tear-streaked face.

“No, it’s my fault. I should have trusted you. I
got swept up in the tragedy of that child’s life, and that family’s struggle. I didn’t think it through. I’ll get better over time.”

“No, Lisa, I don’t want you to get used to it. We share your sympathies and your outrage at this system. If I’m to maintain my sanity and continue the fight, I must be satisfied that I’m doing the best I can. Trust me,
it’s not easy.”

Lisa pulled
him closer. “I couldn’t stand the way you yelled at me. It brought back painful memories.”

“I hated myself the minute those words came out. Please forgive me,” he said
, holding her shoulders between his hands. “I didn’t know how far we’d gotten until I thought about losing you. I love you, Lisa.”

She cried
, and then buried her face in his shoulder. “I love you, too.”

They stood together for several minutes, and then Mike said, “Listen, I must finish rounds, and I have an office filled with patients. I’ll pick you up at
seven tonight. Wear something pretty enough for a fine restaurant. I suddenly feel the need to celebrate.”

Lisa grabbed her purse
, then brushed her hair and reapplied her lipstick.

“Do you like Thai food?” Lisa asked.

“Not particularly. Some of it’s okay if they don’t use cilantro. I hate cilantro—no, that’s not strong enough, I detest cilantro—no, that’s not…”

“I think I get the picture.”

“There’s a website; it’s one of my favorites. It’s hysterical. It’s called
ihatecilantro.com.”
He paused, a moment and then said, “It’s Italian tonight, if that’s okay?”

Lisa held him so tight
ly that he could barely breathe, and then she kissed him.

“I think we’d better get back to work, nurse,” he said
, smiling.

“Yes, Doctor,” she replied
, pinching his bottom.

When they opened the door, Sharon
, as well as several nurses and aids, were crowded around the door. They smiled. Sharon hugged Lisa, and then the entire staff applauded.