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And now there were tears in Bryce’s eyes. His father had passed away ten years ago, but this was seriously the first time Bryce had really thought about him since then. It was so much easier to be busy, busy busy, than thinking about what was or what could have been.

He hadn’t been an easy teenager, but Bryce knew he hadn’t been the toughest kid on the block either. He was more of a pseudo tough guy, not a real one, which his father probably knew. Bryce wished now that they could have had a man-to-man talk at least once before his father died.

And a few pages in, Bryce read these words.

Monday – Losing the store today. Can’t believe it. Some company has come in and managed to buy the whole franchise, my store with it. Looks like they want to tear it down for the land and build something else. I’ll get enough money to put aside for Bryce’s college but retirement will be tight. Should have provided better for my family.

After a few more pages, he read the rest.

Thursday – Went to the doctor. Carol insisted. Been having a serious of small strokes. Shoulder going numb, dizzy, major headaches. Carol worried but told her not to tell Bryce. Don’t want him worried too.

After reading all the journal entries and rereading these pages, Bryce shut the book and closed his watery eyes. Tears fell steadily and fast… He was experiencing true grief at long last… He just sat there in mild shock learning things he wished he’d known years ago.

The main reason he’d gone into business was to prove he could be a better businessman than his father. The reason he worked out practically on a daily basis was to keep in such good shape, so he wouldn’t have a heart attack like his father.

So far, everything he’d done as an adult was to better his father. And as the tears continued to fall, Bryce wished he could just be as good a man as his father had been. To hell with the rest… And the conscience he had tucked so effectively away was beginning to slip out. As Bryce dashed back his tears and got up to wash his face, he wondered what he would do with a conscience… Bryce hadn’t had much use for it in quite a while.

He picked up his cell phone and found the number he was looking for. He dialed and listened to it ring.

“Hello?”

“Sheriff?”

“… Bryce? What’s up?”

“Is it too late to meet for a cup of coffee? I’ll come anywhere you say.”

He heard Dan chuckle on the other end.

“You must have read the logbook.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m still at the Excalibur.”

“…Twenty minutes in the coffee shop again?”

“I’ll be there, son.”

* * *

Dan sat in the same back booth of the coffee shop at the Excalibur Hotel watching Bryce walk up to him. Dan nodded and reached out to shake his hand.

“Didn’t expect to hear from you quite so soon, son.”

“…But you expected to hear from me…” Bryce slid into the seat across from him.

“…Thought I might…”

“Tell me exactly what happened to Dad’s business. I’ve never really known.”

“Okay. Your grandfather loaned your father enough to buy into that Western clothing franchise. The stores are only in the Western states.”

“Yes, I know that much…”

“… Patience…”

“…Sorry.”

A waitress came up. “Want to order anything?”

“Coffee…”

“Coffee…”

She nodded. “Two coffees coming up.” And she left with their order.

“Anyway… It went well for a few years – most of your high school years, I’d say.”

“That’s what I remember too.”

“He’d paid back your grandfather and the store was doing well. Making a good profit…”

“… And then?”

The waitress came back then with their coffees and set them down on the table. “Anything else I can get you?”

“No.”

“No.” Neither man looked at her.

She looked from one man to the other, shrugged and left.

“… And then it all went to hell. A large retail company notified him that the franchise was being bought out -- All the individual businesses in the franchise were being shut down. Your dad was forced to sell.”

“So he didn’t screw up or make poor business decisions?”

Dan shook his head. “Nope. He was a good businessman – He was forced out.” Dan stirred some milk in his coffee and took a good drink. He watched Bryce…

Bryce ran a hand through his dark hair. He knit his brows and his forehead creased. His face scrunched so little wrinkles appeared around his eyes. Then he sat back and blew out a breath.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me this?”

Dan took another sip. “… You’d have to ask your mother. I never saw you again after the funeral. Someone said you’d left town.”

“How’d you know I was in Vegas?”

“I talked to Carol before my trip here. She said she’d heard from you a bit and thought you might still be here.”

Bryce looked uncomfortable.

“Aren’t you keeping in contact with your mother, Bryce?”

He finally took a sip of his coffee. It was already starting to cool and he frowned.

“… I haven’t called Mom in a while, that’s true. How is she?”

“Find out yourself…”

He grimaced. “I deserve that.”

“Can I ask you a personal question, son?”

“…Yes…”

“… If you haven’t made peace with your father’s death and haven’t been speaking to your mother, what the hell have you been doing for the last ten years?”

Bryce smiled. “Making money…”

“Does it salve your conscience?”

“I haven’t had one for a while.”

Dan smiled. “…And now?”

“It’s beginning to feel more familiar.”

“What? Having a conscience?”

“That and actually using it.” Bryce blew out a big breath. “I think I’m in for some rough times.”

Dan took another sip of his now cold coffee. He glanced over at the waitress and held it up, signaling a refill.

“Before you go, let me just say that I know it hit you pretty hard when your dad died.”

Bryce swallowed. “It did…”

“Has the logbook helped you work out any of that as well?”

He nodded as the waitress came up to refill both their cups.

“Thanks,” Bryce said to her and then looked back at Dan. “That book is steering me onto a different path.”

Dan was puzzled. “A different path?”

Bryce nodded. “…One that’s unfamiliar and scary.”

“Well…”

“Well, what?”

“You know what to do when things get scary, don’t you?”

“What’s that, sir?”

“… Circle the wagons, son and find your friends.”

Bryce thought about that for a minute. He reached into his pocket and took out a few bills to pay for the coffee. He put the money on the table and stood up.

“Can I keep you in reserve, sheriff? In case, I need you again?” Bryce reached out his hand to Dan.

Dan stood up with Bryce, took his hand and shook it. “You can count on me, son. Good luck.”

With that, Bryce left the coffee shop, left the hotel and drove home as slowly as he could. He had a lot of thinking to do and it was in really unfamiliar territory. Apparently, he was crossing some kind of threshold into the unknown. That tough guy persona might just have to resurrect itself to see him through. And then he was home…

* * *

CHAPTER FIVE

Beth was getting her wardrobe together for the night’s performance. She and Eva had decided on color tonight, and had opted for the dark blue evening dresses with the flowing chiffon skirts and beaded belts. But Eva had already changed her mind once and here she was again on the phone.

“Look, Eva. What’s wrong with the blue chiffon? They’re gorgeous dresses.”

“Yes, I know, but then I thought about the pale yellow with the beaded scoop neck.”

Beth rolled her eyes. “I have to pack a dress, Eva. Make up your mind.”

“Give me a few minutes. I’ll call you back.”

“Fine.”

So Beth sat back in the elegant chair of her beautiful hotel suite and thought about the music they’d selected for the night’s performance -- The Bach piece, ‘Joy’ was on the program again and Beth was happy about that. She was mentally playing the movement with eyes closed and fingers playing an imaginary piano, when her hotel phone rang. Why wasn’t Eva calling on the cell instead? She went over to the desk and picked it up.

“Okay, Eva,” she said into the phone, “what’s it to be? Blue or yellow?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. Then a confused voice answered.

“…Eva?” And it wasn’t a woman either.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“… Beth? Is that you?”

She paused and cleared her throat.

“This is Beth. Who’s calling?”

“Beth, it’s me, Bryce…”

“…Um…”

“…Bryce Barron.”

“I know who you are.” Her voice didn’t sound welcoming.

“You said it would be all right if I called you.”

Pause…

“… Want me to be honest here?”

“Very much…”

“Bryce, I was being polite. I never in the world thought you’d actually call. It’s been a long time…”

“And I know you’re probably angry with me,” he began.

“Not any more. You got on with your life and I got on with mine.”

“…Beth…”

“Really, Bryce. I haven’t spoken to you in ten years and you call now? Just because we accidentally bumped into one another?”

She sounded pissed that he had bothered her. He was used to women being angry with him – Sylvia was ticked at him most of the time.

“…Listen…”

“Well, please don’t feel that you need to apologize or anything for what happened so long ago. It really is water under the bridge.”

“…Ah…”

“… Have you spoken to your mother recently?”

Bryce was silent for a moment. He deserved every bit of the raking over he was getting, but he still needed to talk to her.

“…Could we please get together tonight?”

Beth’s mouth dropped – She was stunned. “Why?”

“I just want to talk, Beth.”

“…What about?”

“Uh-uh…Not on the phone.”

She blinked in surprise and looked down at the floor. “…I…I don’t really want to see you again, Bryce.”

“And I deserve that too. Please, Beth. It’s important…”

She swallowed hard and blew out a breath. Beth smoothed some hair back that had fallen in her eyes and wondered what was going on here.

“… I don’t want any sappy apologies just to soothe your belated conscience. All right?”

“…Okay.”

“You know I have a performance tonight?”

“Yes.”

“… We usually have dinner afterwards, so you can buy me dinner.” It wouldn’t be a complete waste of her time that way…

“Sure. Where?”

“How about the Brazilian Steakhouse here at the Mirage?” She reasoned she could get up and leave easily if she wanted to.

Bryce smiled. He knew why she’d picked that restaurant – So she could leave easily. Okay… “Good. What time will you arrive?”

“Nine o’clock.”

“I’ll be there.” He smiled into the phone. “Oh, and Beth?”

“Yes?”

“Which dress will you wear – Blue or yellow?”

That made her laugh. “What do you think?”

“I always liked you in blue…”

“Great… We’ll wear the yellow then. Bye, Bryce.”

He laughed and snapped his phone shut. That was so Beth… She could be pretty contrary when her hair was on fire. And it apparently was right now -- at him.

That was okay… At least she was speaking to him and that was the important thing. Bryce sat back in his chair and took another pull of his beer.

The avalanche of everything Carson City had hit him hard. He felt like he’d fallen into a fast moving river and was trying his hardest to keep afloat. Why couldn’t he push it all away? He had in the past…

Not anymore – The past had come howling back at him and it was time to make peace with it all. It was affecting his job already and his relationship with Sylvia was wobbling. Dan had been right about circling the wagons and looking for his friends. But it might be a much tougher task than he’d imagined.

* * *

Bryce had made a reservation for nine and was sitting at the bar waiting for Beth to arrive. From his vantage point, he could watch people arrive at the restaurant, but they couldn’t see him right away. He wanted to see her expression before she saw him. Bryce needed to know what she was really feeling.

He sat at the bar drinking bourbon and water. He was nervous to meet Beth again and needed a drink to take the edge off. Bryce glanced around at the beautifully decorated restaurant with its vivid colors and tropical feel. The smell of smoky barbecue filled his nostrils and made his stomach rumble. He was hungry…

And then she walked in… Beth looked around biting on her lip and smoothed her pretty brunette hair back. She’d worn it down in slight waves around her lovely face, one side tucked behind an ear. Shiny, dangling earrings hung from her ears. Bryce smiled… She’d also worn the blue evening dress instead of the yellow – He knew already what she was thinking about him – She’d approved his choice, maybe mellowing a bit about him… A sentimental wave washed over him… What had he been doing these past years that he couldn’t have picked up a phone… Before he started to wallow in regret, he put a few bills on the counter, pushed off his bar stool and walked over to meet her.

“Beth,” he said while taking ahold her hand. “You look lovely.”

“…Bryce,” she said while removing her hand. “Don’t get too…anything… I’m only here because you sounded desperate on the phone.” She turned away from him. “And why I should care is beyond me…”

“And blue?” He grinned at her.

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t even go there…”

Bryce kept smiling…So Beth…

Before he could respond, the maître ‘d approached to show them to their table. It was situated in a corner of the restaurant with tropical plants around three sides of the table. Sitting down, a waiter came up to place a linen napkin on Beth’s lap. He did the same for Bryce, handed them menus and took their drink orders. Then he departed.

Beth looked around. “Pretty private back here. Was this on purpose?”