Authors: Gerardo Robledo
I beg for your forgiveness, Zina, my love. My love for you will endure forever.
In the early hours of the morning, there was a bustle at Lancaster Detention Center. The sirens of ambulances and fire trucks resounded in every corner of the prison. A large group of firefighters and paramedics ran through the corridors of the prison. Behind the commotion was the body of Luis hanging from a shower in the bathroom. He had taken his life by hanging himself with a blanket to put an end to so much pain, which he could no longer endure. In the end, hatred and injustice prevailed over love. Luis’ life had been a witness to a community hungry for justice and equality.
Early the following morning, the phone rang in Norma’s house. She was not surprised by the call as she expected Pablo to communicate with her and inform her how everything had gone at the funeral. Upon glancing at the caller ID, she was surprised to see that it was a local call. She was not familiar with the number. Additionally, no one would call so early. It was around 7:15. She initially hesitated to take the call, but she decided to pick up. They first asked for Pablo, and as Norma informed them that he wasn’t around, they asked for Zina.
“She’s asleep,” said Norma, “but I’m Pablo’s wife. Can I help you?”
“Of course,” said the voice on the phone. “Something very unfortunate has happened. Please take it calmly. You need to come to the Lancaster Detention Center because we found the lifeless body of Luis Arriaga this morning. Apparently, he took his own life and we need you to come and identify the body and collect his belongings.”
Norma burst into tears. She could not believe it. Things had become even worse; a series of very tragic events was unfolding.
“What should I do?” she asked herself. Pablo was so far away. How would she tell him? Thousands of questions flashed through her mind.
Upon hearing the weeping, Zina rushed to see what had happened. At first, she stared at her, thinking she was crying over the death of Grandma Andrea. Incidentally, tears fell from her eyes. After a few seconds, she came up to her. Norma was not aware of her presence. She came from behind and hugged her. Upon feeling her presence, her weeping became even more intense. She cried for a few minutes just embracing her because she could not find a way to break the news. For a moment she thought about waiting for Tamara who had scheduled to pick them up at 8:30 in the morning, but she could not stand it any longer. She just picked up the phone and told Zina:
“Call your mother and see if she can come a little early.”
Zina took the phone, confused, and called her mother. Then the two went into the living room. They sat down. Norma took her hands and began to speak. “Zina, I have loved you very much. We have been through so much together. We laughed, we cried, and shared some of the worst and best moments of our lives. Now I just want to say I’ll always be with you to support you, and although the road might be difficult, I know I can count on you. In the very same way, never forget that you can count on me too.”
Both women were, without taking notice, tightly holding each other’s hands: Norma did not know how to tell her what happened, while Zina felt that Norma had something big to say. Both their hearts beat rapidly, as if wanting to jump out of place. The two wept uncontrollably, until Norma mustered strength from deep within. She continued. “I just received a call from the Lancaster Detention Center. Luis could no longer endure so much pain over the death of his grandma, for not being able to be next to her during her last moments, and knowing he would remain imprisoned and taken away from you and your love… so he decided to take his life.”
It was too much. Zina wanted to scream but could not. She felt she lacked the strength. She could not believe her ears. Norma took her in her arms to prevent her from falling, but Zina managed to react and pulled away from her embrace.
“It’s not true! I don’t believe it!” she screamed out of control. “Why are you joking around with me? I can’t take any more of it. Enough! Please tell me it’s a lie!”
“Calm down, please,” Norma said, “I would never joke around with something so serious. I don’t even know what to do myself. I have to tell Pablo, but I don’t know how to say it to him.”
Both were horrified. The news made each of them feel guilty that perhaps they hadn’t done enough to set him free. There was a great feeling of despair in the room. They felt Luis’s presence—as though he was blaming them and all those who had let him down. However, Zina could feel his hands caressing her hair. She could sense his aroma and tenderness, even his sweet voice telling her how much he loved her and that he would be waiting for her for all eternity.
She moved about the room as though in a daze. And to make things worse, she found a picture of them in which they were smiling, happy to be together and enjoying life. She took it and pressed it against her chest, falling to her knees, inconsolable—where she remained for a long while expecting to wake up from such a tragic nightmare.
They were inconsolable. It had been too much. They had not yet recovered from one strong blow when they had another one upon them; but life had to continue. They could not just stay still. They would have to take the next step.
Zina’s mom arrived at that moment. The scene was harrowing. The two were in tears, and upon entering, Zina turned to her and yelled, “He’s dead! He is dead! He’s gone and left me all alone!”
Puzzled, his mother hugged her and asked, “What do you mean, dear? You’re scaring me.”
“Luis took his own life, Mom. He couldn’t take it anymore. He decided to find a way out and took the easiest way,” Zina screamed, hysterically.
The three were there for a long time, but they had to move. Zina’s mother drove them to the Lancaster morgue to identify the body. After the painful process of identification, they went to the jailhouse to pick up his few belongings. Upon arriving there, Zina identified herself as Luis’ wife and was given all his things. She requested more information about what had happened, but had to wait until they concluded all their necessary investigations in order to receive a full report clarifying the tragedy that happened.
On the way back, Norma made few calls, summoning Luis’ friends, his aunt and Mr. Mireles, to her house. They would arrive in the San Fernando Valley at almost 5:00 p.m. Norma decided not to tell Pablo about his brother’s death yet since Grandma Andrea had just been buried that same day. She simply did not want to give him another infliction because it just wasn’t worth it. She wanted to give her husband serenity as he bids his final farewell to his grandmother. She would call him at a later time.
When they got home, a few people had already arrived. They silently opened the door and invited them to come in. They offered them something to drink and everyone sat down to wait for the arrival of others. In less than 10 minutes, they were all finally assembled. Zina and Norma then gave them the terrible news of what had happened. The house was a mess. Nobody could believe what they had just heard. Everyone thought that they were going through a terrible nightmare and they all blamed themselves for Luis’ death. They felt they had not done enough to prevent this tragedy.
Stricken with grief, and nervously looking for something in Luis’ belongings, Zina noticed the letter that Luis had written. In trying to find an answer, she began to silently read it. As she continued reading, Zina became filled with even more sorrow and anger at what happened. She shared the sentiments, and she could feel the resentment and anger, in what had been written. She could feel every word and felt her head spinning from so much injustice. When she finished reading it, she stood up and told all those present, “Luis has left a message for all those cowards who abandoned us. I believe we should comply with his last wish.”
Norma took the letter and loudly read its contents. Like Zina, those present felt that their pain and sorrow had turned into uncontrollable rage. They formed a circle and Aunt Lupita said a prayer for the repose of her nephew. Upon finishing, she told those present, “Let us make many copies and give them to all those traitors who abandoned us and had left us with such great grief in our lives.”
All pledged to work for this to happen. Norberto and Jonathan would do everything possible to distribute the letter at school, either by e-mail or on paper, among teachers and students. Mr. Mireles would send it by fax to the office of Carl Rolmes. Mireles also offered to go along with Aunt Lupita to spread it in church, give it to Father Carlos and distribute it in their communities. Zina would post a video on YouTube and would give a copy to her father. Norma would try to contact the reporters that had been present during the trial, delivering copies of the letter to all of them.
Later that night, everyone had retired to their homes bearing in mind what each one would do. The moment to act had arrived. Zina went home to her parents because her mother had endeavored to take her, knowing that her princess needed her more than ever. She didn’t want to leave her all by herself. Aunt Lupita stayed with Norma so that they could keep each other company.
When Zina and her mother arrived home, Jack had been waiting for them as Tamara had already informed him of the terrible news. He wanted to hug his daughter, but she yelled: “I hate you, Dad! You do not know how much damage you have caused me. I cannot comprehend how you could just leave us to our fate. I will never forgive you. Please leave me alone, and take this!” holding out Luis’ letter, she went on: “Read it, because it was written for you. You have betrayed me and you have also betrayed justice. You have valued your reputation more than your love for me and for others.”
Her mother accompanied her to her room and stayed with her for a long time. In the living room, Jack read the letter with sadness and astonishment.
The next morning, Norma called Pablo. She initially beat around the bush needing much time to muster the courage to tell him. Even though she knew how heartrending it would be for him, she had to do it. She finally told him. She wasn’t mistaken, Pablo went crazy. He wanted it to be a lie. In a span of only two days, he had lost part of what he had valued the most.
“I’ll leave first thing in the morning,” Pablo said. “I’ll finish all the necessary documentation and leave my family at peace and I’ll talk to my uncle about leaving Maria under his care while I find a way to bring her to the United States. I know I’ll leave everyone here sunken in sorrow, but I have to join you all, so that, together, we can try to cope with this new tragedy that overwhelms us.”
Everyone got to work the following day. The letter spread throughout the whole school as Jonathan had given many copies to students. He also emailed it to teachers, the Principal, and the Vice Principal. He also published the letter on MySpace, one of the many social networks on the Internet for sharing personal information.
Everything was topsy-turvy in school. Students walked out of their classes and many of them went to the offices. Others simply roamed the hallways or the football field. But all protested the act of cowardice that had been committed by both the school and other parties who had refused their help.
Some reporters began to broadcast the news about the suicide, and Norma granted them an interview. She gave them details of what happened and handed out copies of the letter to reporters. Of course, they did not publicly broadcast the contents of the letter. Zina called Norma very early to know how things were going and if she had already informed Pablo. She had not slept all night, and was like a zombie, and had only been able to digitize the letter on the computer. But it was so heartbreaking that every detail she read made cry. She only managed to finish it late in the morning.
“Pablo will arrive this afternoon and he was extremely distressed by the news,” Norma told her. “You can just imagine. But he is ready to seek justice and said he will not rest until his voice is heard and everyone knows the act of cowardice which we suffered from all those heartless people that refused to help us.”
It was 11:00 a.m. when the first reporters arrived at the office of Councilor Jack Lee. He was still confused by what had happened and could not understand what was causing the presence of the reporters. But it was a great bustle. Some of Jack’s colleagues looked at the journalists in astonishment. Though they were accustomed to dealing with the media, they were not aware of any relevant news to provoke their presence. Paul Summer entered Jack’s office and told him, with a little concern in his voice, that it was he who the reporters sought to have an interview with regarding the suicide of an immigrant detained in an immigration detention center.
“I hope it’s not about Luis, your daughter’s boyfriend,” Paul said looking worried.
With a broken voice, Jack told him and the other council members what little he knew about it, and that, indeed, it was Luis who the media were talking about.
“Believe me, I’m sorry about what happened, and I awfully regret not having helped them. I never imagined that the whole thing would come to such magnitude. I should have just given them the help they asked of me,” said Jack.
Deep within, Paul Summer felt a bit of guilt over what happened. From the start, he had advised Jack to help in the case, but perhaps if he had insisted a little more, he would have convinced him to lend his support for the two youngsters. But it was too late. There was nothing they could do now.
“Well, for the sake of the office, you better face the reporters. I don’t think they will leave without having interviewed you,” said Paul.
After contemplating for a bit in his office, he decided to face the reporters who were eagerly waiting for him. They immediately addressed him. The questions were a bit uncomfortable for him, because they had not asked about her daughter’s boyfriend—but her husband. Jack only gave them superficial answers, not wanting to give too many details. He did not have much information about it and he did not want to give incorrect answers. However, he promised to contact them as soon as he had more details. After a few minutes, he left the office saying that he had to see through the welfare of his family.