Training the SECRET (Corrigan & Co #6) (5 page)

I reach out and whip
her shirt from her head, smiling at the plain white bra that’s
barely holding in the luscious breasts I fantasize about. Once that’s
gone, and I can see her dark pink nipples standing at attention, I
lean over and lick. One, and then the other. Just small licks, until
she leans onto the stool behind her and arches her back.

“Fuck you’re so
sexy like this, Angel. Offering up your presents just for me.”

“Then stop teasing
me, and take them.”

I reach behind her and
give her ass a nice, hard slap. She yelps as I smile. “I told you
I’m an alpha with a need to be in control.”

“You also told me I
could be in charge tonight,” she tells me as she stands defiantly
in front of me.

“I lied,” I tell
her, and lean over to suck her nipple into my mouth, pulling on it
hard enough to make her back arch again.

“I hate…oh fuck,
yeah, like that.”

I play up there for a
while, leaving marks all over her beautiful tits as I worship them
with my mouth and hands. When I can tell that she might come just
from what I’m doing, I stop. Cold turkey. And just like a drug, I’m
feeling withdrawals already.

“Take your leggings
and panties off. Then stand up on two of the stools and lean onto the
counter.”

“What? No. You take
off
your
clothes if
you want me to take off mine.”

“This isn’t a
democracy, Jade. You don’t get a vote.”

“So if I say no,
you’ll still take me.”

I take several steps
back until I’m against the wall. “Never, Jade. Never. I want to
play, and have you listen to me, but no is no.”

She nods and hooks her
hands into the sides of her leggings, pulling them down along with
whatever panties she had on. My mouth waters at the sight of her as
she toes off her shoes to pull everything off. Her tits are
glistening and red from my mouth, and her pussy is almost bare except
for one strip of chocolate brown hair down the middle. It’s also
glistening, telling me how ready she is for me.

I start to walk back to
her, but she holds out a hand to stop me. “I’m fine with the
playing, and I’ll even pretend to be a good little sub, but your
clothes need to come off. I am seriously not going to stand here
naked while you’re fully clothed.”

“I-I can’t do that,
Jade. I
don’t
do
that.”

“What? You mean to
tell me you stay clothed while fucking?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve seen you with
your shirt off. You take it off in front of me all the time.”

“I can take my shirt
off if you need me to, but that’s it.”

“We’re done for the
night, then. I’m not some nameless chick you can do a fuck and duck
with while you keep your pants on. Thanks for getting me worked up.
Again
.”

She grabs her clothes
and shoes, and then reaches for the bag of food to get her sandwich.
I can’t let tonight end like this. There’s no way I can tell her
everything, but maybe just a little will be enough.

“I haven’t taken
off my clothes to fuck since I was a teenager.”

“Why? Do you have
scars from the wars or something? I won’t care about any of that.
You can show me.”

I have emotional scars,
but not from the war. She doesn’t need to hear about how fucked-up
I am, though. “No. It’s just…you know what, never mind. This
was a bad idea.
I’m
the worst idea you’ve ever had, and I shouldn’t be here. I’ll
ask Matt or Jake to come out and help you tomorrow.”

“Don’t you dare
leave me,” she says, dropping the clothes from her hands and
climbing up on the stools like I told her to. “Please take off your
shirt.”

She bends over a little
to brace her hands on the counter. Her ass is in the air, and she’s
the perfect height for what I wanted. What I
still
want. She’s leaving herself vulnerable and open to me, even as I
hurt her by continuing to hide parts of myself from her.

I know that it’s time
to toss aside another piece of my armor. I’m not a conquest, or a
commodity to this woman. She just wants
me
,
and she deserves everything I can give her. I pull my shirt over my
head, and then get rid of my shoes and pants. I don’t wear
underwear, so I’m naked now, and she’ll be the first woman
outside of a military hospital to see me like this in almost half my
life.

I close my eyes and
take a deep breath as my body shakes a little. “Turn around, Jade.”

“Why?” she asks,
but does what I told her to. “Nate…you didn’t have to.”

“Yeah. I did.”

I still can’t open my
eyes yet. I don’t want to see the desire in hers. That would be too
much right now. I hear her hop off the stools and walk over to me.
She takes my clenched fists in her hands and kisses me in the middle
of my chest.

“Why are you
shaking?”

“I-I can’t tell you
that right now.”

“Okay. Can you look
at me?”

I nod and open my eyes.
She’s looking up at me, but instead of the desire I was expecting,
I see love and compassion. Jade is worried about me and regretting
that she asked me to do this.

“I love you, Jade.”

“I love you, too,
Nate. You can put your pants back on if you need to.”

I don’t want to. I
want to be stronger than this. Hell, I was fucking Special Forces,
hunting down the baddest of the bad. And yet, just the thought of her
looking
at me scares
me more than anything in the world right now.

“If I leave them off,
can you try not to look at me?”

“If that’s what you
need, yes.”

“Thank you.”

I reach out and pick
her up before she can say anything else. She starts to wrap her legs
around me, but then stops. I hate that I’m making her second guess
everything she wants to do, but I’ll be making it up to her in a
few seconds. I turn with my back to the island as I kick the stools
back a little. She sets a foot on each as I let her go, and then
leans forward as I drop to my knees in front of her.

Her pussy’s right
there, and I take my first lick down the center. She jerks back a
little so I smack her ass again. “Stay.”

I need to be in control
or I won’t be able to do this with my clothes off. I think she
knows that, too, since she remains quiet and doesn’t move again. I
give her a few more long licks and then dart my tongue out to taste
her clit. God, she tastes good. I knew she would, but damn. I could
stay like this all night. I could
come
like this all night.

I tease us both a
little bit longer, and then I just go for it. I lick and suck her
back and forth, twirling my tongue inside her because I can’t get
enough. When I can tell she’s close, I slide two fingers into her,
and then a third, as I find her clit again and suck it hard. She’s
bucking against my mouth as she comes, yelling out my name. The
stools tip over as she kicks her legs, and I have to band my free arm
around her thighs to hold her up as I bring her down.

I promised her more
than one from my mouth, so I lift her higher and throw her legs over
my shoulders. Her ass gets another smack, and then I get back to
business.

“Stop smacking my
ass, Soldier.”

I pull back just enough
to answer. “You like it. Don’t try and pretend you don’t.”

“Just take me to my
damn bed. You already made it nearly impossible for me to stand. I
want your cock.”

She tries to pull
herself off of me, but I stop her, standing and turning us so I can
set her on the island. “The lights have to be off, okay?”

“I told you I won’t
look, so yes. Turn every fucking light off if you need to.”

“You’re mad.”

“No, Nate. I’m
frustrated. I don’t know what’s got you feeling so insecure about
your body, but I want to be respectful and not make you run, so I’m
ignoring my true nature and trying to let it go. I don’t know if
it’s okay to touch, or if I just have to lie back and be an
inactive participant. I just want to be with you. That’s all. You
and me. In
and
out of
bed. I’ll abide by any conditions you set for me, but I need to
know what those are so I don’t freak you out again.”

“I-I’m sorry, Jade.
You deserve better than what I can give you.”

“Not this again.”

“No, I’m not going
to push you away. You may deserve better, but as long as you want me,
I’m staying.”

“So tell me what I
can do. I want you to enjoy this—me.”

“There’s no doubt
that I’m already enjoying you, Angel,” I tell her, and then close
my eyes for the rest. “If you could just lie back tonight, I’d
appreciate it. I know it’s a lot to ask, and if you can’t, I’ll
deal.”

I hear her sigh. “I
can do it tonight. I’m not going to be okay with this forever, but
you took off your clothes for me, and I can tell that doing that was
huge for you, so I’ll go along with it for now.”

“Thank you.”

I swoop her into my
arms and carry her upstairs. She directs me to her room, and I manage
to get to the bed in the dark without hurting either one of us. I lay
her down,and push her hands above her head, before rubbing my cock
over her.

“Did you bring a
condom up here with you?”

“No. We both know we
don’t need one.”

We’re tested
regularly through Corrigan, and all the girls have some futuristic
birth control injections that Audrey designed. Despite what I’ve
done in my past, and my present, I’ve never gone without
protection, but I want to with her.

“When was your last
partner?”

“About three months
ago, and I used a rubber. I always do.”

“Okay.”

I’m still ready to go
after all our talking, but I want to make sure she is, too. I let her
tits overflow in my hands as I kiss her ribs and stomach. I move
lower and spend some time taking her close to the edge. I want her to
come with me inside of her, so I leave her there, and then line
myself up before thrusting into her.

I set up a punishing
pace right from the beginning. She asked me earlier to fuck her hard,
and I’m doing that now. Both for her,
and
for me. I’ve been on edge ever since I first saw her on that
ladder, and I need to finally get some release.

She’s so wet that I’m
slipping around inside of her. And damn does she feel good. It’s
pure fucking Heaven. I
need
to come, but I
want
to stay inside of her like this forever. I know I’m getting close,
but she’s not.

“What do you need?”

“N-nothing.”

“You’re not coming,
so obviously you need something else from me. Tell me.”

“I already came. I
probably just can’t do it again so soon. Go ahead.”

Dammit. I know she’s
lying, but I’m too close to just stop. I thrust hard a few more
times, and then I’m coming with a force I’ve never experienced
before in my life. I know part of it is because I was bare, but
mostly it’s her. She’s just
it
for me.

I kiss her lightly on
the mouth, and then go to clean up. I bring back a washcloth for her,
but she’s already on her side, curled into herself. There’s no
room to sit next to her on the bed in front of her, so I sit at the
bottom end and reach for her legs.

“Don’t. I mean, you
don’t have to do that.”

“I want to clean you
up.”

“I can take care of
myself.”

“Please let me do
this for you.”

“No. I just want to
sleep. You can have any of the guest rooms.”

What? “I was planning
to sleep in here with you.”

“I can’t.”

I hear her voice crack,
and my heart cracks along with it. I reach out and pull her to me,
but she resists. “Jade?”

“Let me go. I’m not
allowed to push you away, so please let me go.”

Shit. I let her go
immediately. “Did you want to push me away when we were…I mean,
God. Did you not want that?”

“I wanted it, but it
was really hard, Nate. Not touching you, or kissing you.”

“You could’ve
kissed me.”

“I would’ve had to
touch you in order to bring your mouth to me.”

“You can ask.”

“I shouldn’t have
to.”

No. She shouldn’t.
She
doesn’t
have
to. “And now you want me to go.”

“No. I want you to
stay and cuddle with me, but if I can’t touch you, how is that even
possible? And what if I accidentally touch you in my sleep? Will that
hurt you? Because I don’t want to hurt you.”

I hurt her, yet she’s
thinking about me. Just like she always has. This time when I pull
her to me, she doesn’t struggle, but she does remain stiff in my
arms.

“You can touch me,
Jade. Wherever you want, however you want. I’m so, so sorry that I
didn’t let you before. I wanted our first time to be amazing for
you, and instead it sucked because of my fucked-up issues.”

“Yeah, it did. But
now it can only get better, right?” she asks, as she runs her hands
over my chest.

“You’re not
supposed to be making me feel better right after I hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt
me. I mean you did, but not exactly in the way you mean. I don’t
have to touch you all the time. It’s just hard to be in the moment
when you’re worrying about doing something wrong.”

“Nothing you could do
to me would be wrong. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m
fucked up beyond belief, but that has nothing to do with you.”

And it really doesn’t.
She’s been running her fingers over my pecs, ribs, and abs while we
talk, and I haven’t flinched once. Having
her
touching me feels really good. I should’ve known it would be
different; she’s not like the women from my past. She sees past my
body to the guy who’s trying to hide inside of himself.