Trading Secrets (23 page)

I
'm still feeling sad and somewhat shaken by the time we get home. “I'm going to get my kitty from Lizzie,” I tell Dad as soon as I get out of the car. “If you don't mind, I might stay and visit with her for a while.”

Dad actually looks pleased about this. “I think that's a terrific idea, Micah. I'm sure Lizzie has been missing you this week. Stay as long as you need to.”

“Thanks.” I force a smile. “Thanks for everything you did for Zach today too. And over the last few days. I know it was really special for him.”

“He's a good kid.”

I force a smile. “Yeah. I know.”

For some reason I feel strangely comforted to be in Lizzie's room again. It feels like it's been years since we sat on her bed and talked. Having our sweet little kitties, Katy and Bella, wrestling and tumbling about on her shag rug is good entertainment.

Naturally, Lizzie wants to hear everything about Zach. This time I don't hold back. I tell her every single detail.
And this time, instead of acting more interested in her hair or fingernails, Lizzie really listens.

“Do you think you're in love with Zach?” she finally says with wide amber eyes.

I can't help but laugh. She's so serious and earnest and concerned. “I don't know about
that
, Lizzie. I mean, other than pecking him on the cheek before I said good-bye, we've never even kissed or held hands or anything. But I guess in a way I do love him. How could I not?”

She pats me on the shoulder with a compassionate expression. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“Honestly, I wouldn't be that surprised if he ended up with Rachel. That would probably be for the best. You should see the way she looks at him, Lizzie. Like she would do everything and anything in her power to make him happy. She even strives to get along with his mom, and trust me, that cannot be easy.”

“Yeah, Rachel probably wants to get married and have about a dozen children with him,” Lizzie teases.

“Probably so.”

Lizzie suddenly hugs me. “Well, I'm glad you're back, Micah. And it feels like you really are back this time.”

Lizzie entices me to stay for dinner and go to youth group with her and then to spend the night afterward. Dad sounds greatly relieved when I call him to see if this is okay. I can tell he thinks that some time with Lizzie might be just what it will take to get me back to my old normal happy self again. And I must admit it does help some. But at the same time I feel different inside. Like something in me has changed. Like maybe I've grown up a little this past week. Or maybe it's that I'm still grieving. But something has definitely changed.

On Wednesday night, I invite Dad to go with me to the evening church service. We don't always go to church, especially not on Wednesdays—not like we used to do before Mom died. But for some reason I really want to go tonight, and it was easy to talk Dad into it. I think my desire to go to church was because there was so much focus on God when I was in Amishland. I feel like I need to figure out where I stand with my own faith now. I mean, I do believe in God—that's never changed. But after seeing Zach's family reading the Bible and praying together, I wonder if I've been taking my own faith seriously enough.

After the service is over, I question Dad about his own beliefs. “Do you feel like we're not as godly or spiritual or whatever you want to call it as the Amish people are?” I ask as he drives us home. “I mean because we don't pray before every meal or read the Bible several times a day or go to long church meetings or dress in funny clothes.”

He laughs. “You really don't think wearing funny clothes makes a person spiritual, do you? You heard what Zach said about that. By the way, I was impressed with what he said. He's a thoughtful young man.”

Of course, Dad would bring it back to Zach. “Yeah, he is. And no, I don't think clothes have much impact on a person's spirituality. I was trying to be funny.”

“I always thought faith was kind of a personal thing,” Dad says thoughtfully. “Everyone has to figure out for themselves how much they should do things like pray or read the Bible. Maybe sometimes it changes. Like if you're going through hard times—like when your mother died—maybe you read
the Bible more and pray more.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “But as you know, I'm no expert on this.”

“Me neither.”

“I do know this. I agree with what Pastor Barry said tonight. God does want us to talk to him about everything.” Dad lets out a long sigh. “I have to confess I forget to do that. A lot.”

“Yeah. Me too. Although my week with the Amish was a good reminder. In fact, I've been praying more than ever about a lot of things lately.”

“Maybe we're evolving,” Dad says as he pulls into the carport. “Always room for improvement, eh?”

“I sure hope so.”

Dad's phone is starting to ring as we walk up to the condo. I can tell it's Uncle Brad, so before they get talking about sports or whatever, I ask him to find out how Gretchen is doing. Dad makes my inquiry, then relays the information. “She's already walking around,” he tells me. “Looks like she'll make a full recovery.”

“Cool.” I give him a thumbs up then go inside to check on my own pet. I know Katy gets lonely when I'm gone. She misses her feline family, including her kitty sibling down the street. For that reason, Lizzie and I have decided to have regular play dates. It's our way of weaning the kitties from each other. Either that or we'll have to take turns keeping both of the kitties at our respective houses.

I'm down on my knees, dancing a wrinkled piece of paper tied to a piece of yarn around the bedroom floor for Katy to pounce on, when I hear a knock on my door.

“Can I come in?” Dad calls.

“Door's open,” I tell him as Katy makes a tall leap for her paper prey, falling on her tummy.

“Can we talk?” he asks in a semiserious tone.

“Sure.” I wave to my bed. “Have a seat.”

“It's about Zach,” he says in an even more serious tone.

“Is he okay?” I blurt out. “Has something bad happened to him?”

“No, nothing like that. It's just that Brad had an unexpected phone call from him this afternoon.”

“How could Zach call Uncle Brad? He doesn't even have a phone.” I set down the kitty toy, trying to wrap my head around this. “What's up?”

“Apparently Zach's family was having dinner, and he sneaked next door to use his grandfather's phone.”

“Oh, yeah.” I remember Zach mentioned a phone in his grandfather's barn. “Did he call Uncle Brad about Molly? I know his dad forgot to give her the medicine, but she seemed okay on Sunday.”

“No, it's not about Molly, Micah.”

I get to my feet now, scooping up my kitten, and I study Dad's face. “Well, what is it?” I demand. “Is Zach in some kind of trouble?”

“Not trouble. He just called Brad for some advice.”

“Huh?”

“Zach told Brad that his dream was to become a veterinarian.”

“Oh.” I sit down in my desk chair, trying to take this in. “Yeah. Well, Zach really loves animals.”

“But as you know, Zach's education ended in eighth grade.”

“I know. But Zach is really smart, Dad. I bet he could pass a GED exam today if he tried.”

“But to go to veterinary school, he'd probably need a high school diploma.”

“Well, he's been reading all kinds of books. He even had his nose in a high school biology textbook while I was there. He reads academic books without anyone making him do it.”

“Very admirable.”

“I'll bet he could go to a public high school and take classes without any problems at all.”

“You could be right.”

“Is there any reason Zach
couldn't
go to public school? He's barely eighteen. I know seniors who are nineteen and twenty. Even if it took Zach a couple of years to graduate, what would it matter?”

“That's what Brad was thinking too, Micah.”

“Does Zach want to do that?”

“I don't know. Brad thinks Zach's trying to figure things out and that he's worried that he might not be cut out for the Amish lifestyle.”

“I get that, Dad.” I tip my head to one side. “But when you came in here, you seemed worried, like you had bad news that concerns me.”

“Brad was concerned about how you'd react to his idea.”

“What idea?”

“Brad wants to invite Zach to live with him. Brad thinks Zach could work part time in the vet clinic and go to school. Almost like he'd adopt him.”

“Uncle Brad is going to adopt Zach?”

“Well, probably not legally. After all, Zach is eighteen.”

“Yeah. Okay, but I still don't see why Uncle Brad is worried about me. Why should this even concern me?”

“He knows that Zach was your friend first. I guess he wondered if you and Zach were kind of involved—you know, romantically.” Dad makes a curious frown. “Are you?”

“Dad!”
I use my don't-go-there tone.

“I'm sorry to be nosy, sweetie, but Brad wanted to know. He's worried it could turn into an awkward situation for you.”

“Why?”

“It's kind of like inviting an ex to a family reunion after the couple's broken up. Can't you see how that could put some stress on holiday gatherings?”

“Well, Zach has never been my boyfriend, so he couldn't very well be my ex,” I say with exasperation.

“Brad wasn't sure how you'd feel about Zach living with your uncle. Does that bother you at all?”

I firmly shake my head no. “Not in the least, Dad. I actually think it would be very cool if Zach could live with Uncle Brad. Does he really want to do it? Do you know?”

“Well, Brad hasn't even told Zach that part of his idea yet. He wanted to run it by us first. So far, he's only offered to help Zach find work and get set up in a living situation. Apparently he said something about this to Zach when you guys spent the night with him. Zach admitted to Brad that Cleveland was overwhelming. Brad suggested he might feel more comfortable in a small town like Westgate.”

“That makes sense.”

“Do you think Zach will accept Brad's offer?” Dad seems very invested in this, which I think is sweet.

“I don't know why he wouldn't. They really hit it off, Dad. It was like they were long-lost friends or something. I kinda felt like the odd girl out.”

“I know his family loves him,” I say, “but it's like his parents see Zach more as a farmhand than a son. After what Zach did for that mare, even using his own money, and then his
dad didn't even give her the medicine”—I shake my head—“well, that just got to me.”

“I think it got to Zach too.” Dad sighs. “I have to admit, though, that when I saw that beautiful farm, well, I could understand how it might be hard for Zach to leave it. You said yourself how much you loved being there. It's a lot to walk away from.”

“But did you know that Zach has no chance to inherit that farm? The best he can hope for is to work there until his baby brother is old enough to take over. In their community, it's the youngest son who inherits.”

“Seriously?”

I nod. “Yeah. It doesn't seem fair to me, but it has to do with their beliefs. ‘The first shall be last and the last shall be first.' I think it's really that way so that dads can hold on to the power for as long as possible.”

Dad chuckles. “I can see how that might be tempting.”

“Dad.” I glower at him, and then I hug him. “I'm so glad to hear this. I hope Zach accepts Uncle Brad's offer. Will you tell your brother that I approve? I very much approve.”

“I'll do that.” Dad stands, but his brow creases again. “I still feel sad for Zach and his family, though. If he does this—goes to live with Brad—he will really be burning his bridges with his family.”

I consider this. “Really, Dad, do you think Zach's burning his bridges? Or is it his parents who are striking the match?”

Dad just shrugs. “Good question. Anyway, I'll let Brad know that you give his plan a solid green light.”

“Tell him I'm praying that Zach says yes.” I tightly close my eyes. “I'm really, truly praying he goes for this.”

“Will do.”

I do pray—and I don't take this prayer lightly. I start out the same way I've prayed for Zach before, asking God to direct his path. But I also pray that God will lead Zach toward whatever is best for him. As I pray this, I realize this is a huge life decision for my friend. I can't even imagine what I'd do if I faced a decision that had the potential to cut me off from my family and friends and all that I've ever known. No, I do not take this kind of prayer lightly.

I
've been really glad to be back in school again, back to my old normal. To my relief I didn't even feel envious when I noticed some of my friends sporting the tans they got down in Florida during spring break. I wouldn't trade the way I spent my vacation with anyone. In between classes and the beginning of spring soccer and a bunch of other senior activities and responsibilities that seem to be piling up, I continue to pray for Zach's big decision for the next several days. I even check the mailbox each day, just like I used to do, to see if he's written to me.

However, day after day passes and we still don't hear anything from Zach. I'm dying of curiosity. Will he or will he not accept my uncle's very generous offer? Is Zach okay—could he have gotten sick or injured in a farm-related accident? Did his family get upset over his choice and insist he remain home?

Finally, on Wednesday night, a whole week since Uncle Brad's original offer, my uncle calls my dad to confirm that he's still not heard a word from Zach. Because I've heard nothing either, we all assume Zach has made his decision—to stay. Really, who could blame him for sticking with what he knows, staying within his comfort zone, and remaining with
his family? I honestly can't imagine what I'd have done if I'd been in his shoes. And to be fair, the Amish lifestyle is very appealing—to a certain kind of person.

I've also been considering another issue, something I neglected to mention to my dad or uncle—the Rachel factor. It's quite possible that Zach is more interested in Rachel than he let on. Or maybe something new developed between them when he returned. When I think about what Katy and Sarah said about Rachel being the youngest daughter and due to inherit her father's farm, well, it all just makes sense. Truly, I only wish Zach the very best. Still, I can admit (at least to myself) that it makes me a little sad.

As Lizzie and I are walking home from school on Friday afternoon, my dad sends me a curious text message. “Picking up delivery at Davis Field now.” I show it to Lizzie. “This is weird. I mean, Dad doesn't usually report in to me about his flight schedule. He picks stuff up all the time.”

“Where's Davis Field?” she asks.

“A few miles from Hamrick's Bridge,” I explain, a slow realization sinking in. “Near Zach's farm.”

“Do you think it has to do with Zach?”

“That'd be my guess.”

“Maybe Zach is sending you something by way of your dad?”

We speculate on the possibilities as we walk in the warm spring sunshine. When we part ways, I promise to give her an update when I find out more. It's not until Dad gets home around 6:00 that I hear the news.

“I picked up Zach at Davis Field,” Dad announces as he comes in the door. “I dropped him off at Brad's before I came home.”

“Really?” I'm dancing around the kitchen in excitement. “Zach really decided to do it? He's going to live with Uncle Brad? And go to school?”

“That's the plan.” Dad beams at me. “You should've seen the smile on that boy's face when we were taking off this afternoon. It was obvious he'd made the right choice.” Dad sets the box of pizza he picked up on the way home on the counter. “We had a great talk on the flight back here. Zach explained the cause of his delay. First of all, he didn't want to leave before he made sure that Molly had finished her prescription. Plus he wanted time to say proper good-byes to everyone.” Dad reaches for a slice of pizza, plopping it onto the plate I'm holding out for him. “You gotta respect that.”

“I do.”

“He spent time with his parents and grandparents and siblings and neighbors, explaining why he was going in order to study veterinary medicine. He told them that he hoped to one day come out to their farms and treat their animals as a certified veterinarian. Apparently some of them actually seemed to appreciate this. Well”—Dad pauses to take a bite—“as much as they can . . . considering.”

“Yeah, considering he won't be Amish anymore.”

“Well, you can't be both a vet and Amish.” Dad reaches for a napkin. “It's not an option in their world.”

“Well, good for Zach for making the hard choice,” I declare as I take a bite.

“Yes. And Brad's already arranging for him to start school next week.”

“That's so cool!”

Uncle Brad gives us updates during the next couple of weeks. From what I can tell, Zach is making a good transition, making some new friends, and proving to be very helpful at the vet clinic. “He still doesn't want a cell phone,” my uncle tells me.

“Too bad,” I say. “I'd like to talk to him.”

“I'll let him know.”

Between Zach's busy schedule and spring soccer for me, a couple more weeks pass with no communication. It's late April by the time I hear from him.

“I got a cell phone,” he informs me. “I didn't want it, but Brad insisted.”

Of course, I have to laugh. “I don't know many teens who are forced to have a cell phone,” I tell him. “But then you are a very unique guy.”

“Thanks.” He fills me in on his doings, explaining how he's taking a full load of classes as well as working about twenty hours a week at the clinic. “I already have a savings account for college,” he tells me.

“That's great.”

“
Ja
. It really is.”

I tell him about soccer and how Lizzie and I both decided to participate in the spring play. “It makes life pretty busy, but since it's our last year in high school, we decided to just go for it.”

“Good for you.”

“How are your classes?” I ask. “Are you finding them to be a lot harder than when you went to Amish school?”

“I'm surprised that they're not nearly as hard as I expected.”

“That's because you're so smart, Zach.”

“Thanks. But it's also because I'm used to working hard.”

“Yeah, I'm sure that's true enough. You Amish beat us English hands down in the hard work department.”

He chuckles. “I guess so. I've also been able to take a lot of equivalency tests that will allow me to bypass certain classes. The teachers at my school have been really helpful and understanding.”

“That's great.”

“There's a chance I can graduate this year.”

“No kidding? That's fantastic!”

We talk a while longer, and I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's really happy about his decision. Sure, it's hard work, but that's something he's used to.

“Well, I know you've got a lot on your plate, so I'll understand if you're too busy to keep me posted,” I tell him. “Plus, I expect you're making lots of friends. At least that's what Uncle Brad told my dad.”

“Everyone has been great,” he says. “They know where I'm coming from—I mean, growing up Amish—and they don't seem to mind a bit. They make me feel very accepted.”

“From what my uncle told my dad, they're treating you like a rock star, Zach.”

He laughs. “I don't know about that. But they're being really nice.”

After we hang up, I feel a smidgeon of concern, or maybe it's just the green-eyed jealousy monster again. I can just imagine how Zach is being “accepted” by the girls. Why wouldn't they accept him? He's gorgeous. I just hope he doesn't fall in with the wrong kind of girls. Too bad he's not going to my high school. I'd be sure to watch out for his best interests. Or would I be watching out for mine?

“I can't believe my Amish pen pal is going to graduate from high school before me,” I say as Dad drives into the parking lot of Westgate High. Lizzie and Erika have joined us for this celebratory occasion—Zach's graduation followed by a party at my uncle's place.

“I want an Amish pen pal too,” Erika tells me as we get out of the car. “Do you think Zach can find one for me?”

I laugh and take her hand. “Zach has a brother about your age, Erika, but his parents would probably throw a huge fit if Jeremiah started writing to an English pen pal. Trust me, it wouldn't be pretty.”

“Particularly a girl pen pal,” Lizzie injects.

“That's right.”

Before long, we're seated in the football stadium and sitting through the graduation ceremony, cheering and applauding loudly when Zach receives his diploma. The people around us probably think we're nuts, but they don't realize what a victorious achievement this really is.

Afterward, we head over to Uncle Brad's, where Claire, acting as the party coordinator, greets us and invites us into the already crowded apartment. She points out some of the friends Zach made in school and introduces us to some of the neighbors, and I even recognize some of the pet owners who frequent the clinic. Even Jennifer and Gretchen the German Shepherd are there. “Zach sent an invitation that included Gretchen,” I hear Jennifer telling someone as she sits next to her big dog in a corner of the living room.

For this special occasion, I actually donned a pale blue sundress and some strappy little white sandals. I feel very
feminine—and nervous. This is the first chance I've had to see Zach since the day we dropped him off at his parents' farm a couple months ago. The room is stuffy and loud and bustling with guests. I'm not sure he even knows we're here. Or maybe it's not a big deal. Suddenly he spots us, waving over the heads of the partiers as he makes his way over.

“Micah!” he exclaims as he joins us near the door. “And Will and Lizzie and Erika!” He comes over and hugs each of us.

“It's so good to see you,” he tells me. “I wanted to get over to visit, but it's been so busy around here. Studying and working. I can't believe so much time went by.”

“I know.” I nod. “For me too. But now you're a high school graduate—congratulations!” I hand him the card I brought. “I can't believe you beat me!”

He laughs. “
Ja
, but we'll be coming to your graduation next week.” Zach introduces me to some of his school friends, but their names get lost in my head. All I want is to spend time with Zach—not all these people. Unfortunately, it seems like that's what everyone else wants as well. Everyone keeps coming up and clapping him on the back, and I feel myself shrinking into a wallflower.

Seeing that Jennifer is keeping to the sidelines too, I decide to inquire about how Gretchen's recovery is coming.

“She's doing really well,” Jennifer assures me. “Her injured leg is almost as good as new.”

“I'm so glad to hear it.”

“I never got to thank you for helping me that day.” She smiles up at me from the couch. “I was such a basket case. I really appreciated your kindness.”

“I'm just glad it turned out okay.” I reach down to pat
Gretchen's head and her tail thumps eagerly against the side of the couch, but when I take my hand back she lets out a little whine.

“Is she in pain?” I ask.

“No. I think she needs to go outside for a little break.” Jennifer looks around. “Maybe we should go.”

“Let me take her,” I say, reaching for the leash. “We'll go down to my uncle's little dog run behind the clinic. I know how to get there.”

“Thanks!” She smiles gratefully.

Without looking back, I lead Gretchen out the door and down the stairs, actually looking forward to a little reprieve from the crowded, stuffy apartment. Who knew Zach had so many friends? Then again, why wouldn't he? Who wouldn't want to be Zach's friend?

We go outside, and I let Gretchen off her leash to explore the dog run area while I sit on the bench next to the door. I'm sure she remembers being out here before, and she obviously knows what to do. I'm just about to call her back when I hear the door behind me opening.

“Aha,” Zach says as he emerges into the afternoon sunshine. “I thought this was where you went.”

“Zach!” I exclaim. “Why aren't you up there with your guests?”

“Because I wanted to be down here with you.” He grins as he sits next to me. “Besides, there are enough people to keep each other company.” He sighs. “I'm not sure why Claire invited so many guests. I didn't realize I knew so many people.”