Trading Secrets (30 page)

“But what are we going to do, with them?” Sabrina asked.

“We could have them stuffed and stand them in your shop window,” Matt suggested rather too cheerfully.

“I’m serious. As Brad took great pains to point out earlier, I seem to have shot a government agent and you’ve got another one tied up like a turkey.”

“If it’s any consolation to you, neither of these characters was working with any authorization from the U.S. government. Coyne had his own show going down on Buena Ventura.”

“Does that mean the authorities aren’t going to be so mad at us?” Sabrina asked interestedly.

Matt finished applying tape to Griffin’s bandage and looked up. “Since when did you care about the authorities?”

“My main goal is to get them out of my private life,” Sabrina tossed back grimly. “It just occurred to me that shooting people who carry government ID might not accomplish that task.”

“Ordinarily it probably wouldn’t,” Matt agreed, “but I think that in this case the people in charge will be very glad to get us out of their hair. Coyne is going to be a potential source of embarrassment to a lot of people. Don’t worry. As soon as I get Griffin patched up I’ll make a few phone calls.”

“That’s going to take care of all our problems?”

“Eventually.”

“Matt, have you ever tried to contact your congressman? In the middle of the night, no less? It will probably take forever. I could tell you some real horror stories about trying to get hold of even a minor official in the IRS!”

“Can I borrow your calling card?” he asked innocently.

In the end it took a great many phone calls before Matt got the man he needed out of bed in Washington, D.C.

Sitting in the car parked by the phone booth with Brad, Sabrina thought about the probable size of her phone bill. Then she decided it was worth it.

When he finally returned to the car, Matt looked weary but satisfied. He slid into the front seat beside Sabrina and exhaled heavily.

“Everything all set, Dad?” Brad hung over the back of the front seat.

“All set. A couple of agents are on their way from Portland right now. They’ll collect Griffin and Shadwell and take them out of our lives.”

“They’re just leaving Portland? It will take them almost an hour and a half to get here,” Sabrina mused. “That will give us time to get all our stories straight,” Matt noted as he put the car in gear. “What stories?” Brad asked, frowning.

“Brad, my son, one thing you have to learn about dealing with the authorities of this world. They don’t handle confusion well. The simpler you keep matters, the better they respond.”

“Your father’s right,” Sabrina declared. “Just ask me. I’m an authority on dealing with authorities. Don’t forget I’ve got a genuine, computer-generated letter of apology from the IRS in my possession. Not many people can say that,” she added proudly.

The brief summer storm had blown through around dawn. By the time Sabrina awoke there was a wealth of sunlight pouring through the bedroom window. She stirred under the quilt and experienced a satisfying sense of awareness when her foot brushed against Matt’s leg. Yawning, she turned over and propped herself up to look down at him.

He was sprawled across three quarters of the bed, still asleep. There had been no passionate homecoming early this morning when the government agents from Portland had finally left, taking Griffin and Shadwell with them. Matt had reached for Sabrina as she’d slid into bed beside him, folded her close, and promptly gone to sleep. Sabrina hadn’t been surprised. She’d closed her eyes almost instantly and hadn’t awakened until a moment ago. They had both been exhausted, but Matt had been a day longer without sleep. He was making up for it now.

In the peace of the sunlit, tousled bed Sabrina studied the man for whom she had been waiting. He looked good lying beside her, she decided. There was a sense of comfortable familiarity about him, as if he belonged in her bed. The questions in her mind this morning revolved around how long he would be content to stay there.

The only thing she had been sure of last night was that the operation Coyne had planned hadn’t taken place. And that left Matt in the same position he had been in when he’d left for Buena Ventura. It also left her with the same set of problems. Sabrina bit her lip. She really shouldn’t wake him up now to talk.

“Matt?”

No response.

“Matt?” Sabrina touched his shoulder.

“
Ummph
?” He didn’t move.

“We have to talk.”

“‘Bout what?” He still didn’t move, his head turned away from her, buried in the pillow. His voice sounded thick and sluggish from sleep.

“About us,” she told him determinedly.

“Oh, Christ.”

“There are a few things we need to get clear.”

He still didn’t move. “I don’t think I’m up to this.”

“I’d like to get some matters settled before Brad wakes up.”

“This isn’t fair, Sabrina,” he complained into the pillow, but she saw the sudden tension in his shoulders and knew he was rapidly coming fully alert. “Before I got here last night, I hadn’t slept in almost two days. After I arrived I got shot at; had to climb over a roof in the middle of the night and deal with government personnel. I deserve a little time to recuperate.”

“You can have all the time you want after we’ve finished talking. I’ve had a somewhat rough forty-eight hours or so myself.”

“Damn it, Sabrina, don’t you think I know that?” He moved finally, flopping over on his back in an apparently lazy fashion that was belied by the gleaming alertness in his narrowed gaze. “And I know it’s because of me. I know you wouldn’t have had to deal with any of this mess if I hadn’t landed on your doorstep with Brad and literally moved in on you.”

She shook her head and gathered her courage in both hands. “I’m not discussing the past. I want to talk about the future. I won’t go through this again, Matt.”

He regarded her for a long moment from behind his lashes. For the life of her Sabrina couldn’t begin to tell what he was thinking.

“You think I’d ask you to go through something like this a second time?” he said finally.

“I think that you’ve still got the same problems you had that made you susceptible to Rafferty Coyne’s offer. You still want a fast buck to give you a head start in Dallas and you still haven’t resolved your feelings about what happened two years ago. What happens if another Rafferty Coyne comes along? Are you going to leave Brad and me alone again while you chase off on some hell-bent adventure? I won’t live with a man who’s going to be a part-time mercenary, Matt. I let you have this one venture because I understood some of your motives. I’m sorry that it didn’t accomplish everything you wanted it to accomplish, but I won’t give you any more chances.”

“You sound as if you’ve been preparing this little speech for some time.”

“Ever since you left,” she said simply.

“I’m getting an ultimatum?”

Sabrina drew a deep breath. “I suppose you could call it that.”

“You want marriage?” he asked carefully.

Sabrina blinked, surprised. “Not particularly. That wouldn’t buy me any guarantees, would it?”

“And you want guarantees?”

“I want to know that the man I’m living with cares enough about me to stick around and do the washing instead of tearing off to some damn jungle to risk his life for fun and adventure!”

“You’re really emotional about this, aren’t you?”

“Damn right, I’m emotional! You said when you got back from this trip we would have a future together. In your mind I’m sure that meant we’d have a future if the trip proved successful. Well, it didn’t, and now I’m wondering where I stand. What does our future look like to you now, Matt?” she challenged softly.

“If I give the wrong answer you’re going to send me packing, aren’t you?”

Her fingers were beginning to tremble. Sabrina shoved them under the quilt. “If you give the wrong answer, I will, of course, have to reevaluate the situation.”

He laced his hands behind his head. “Such a tough little lady,” he mocked gently. “I’ve had my one chance and now we do things your way, is that it?”

She nodded once. “Something like that.”

“Why don’t you want marriage?”

She lifted one bare shoulder. “It’s only a formality.”

“It’s more than that, and you know it. You know what I think? I think you want to keep your own options open even while you’re closing down mine.”

Sabrina was astonished at the grimness in his tone. “That’s not true.”

“Are you sure, Sabrina? You’ve never particularly wanted to start your own family, have you? And here you are about to inherit a sassy kid and his washed-up father. Not exactly a picture-perfect family portrait. So you’ve decided to keep things a step short of formal. That way if it doesn’t work out you can just calmly hand us our suitcases and wave goodbye.”

“You’re twisting my words,” she protested as the heat rose in her cheeks.

“Am I?”

“You sound like you’re the one who wants marriage.”

“I do.”

She stared at him, startled. “Why? Because you want a home for Brad? A woman in your bed? Someone to talk to in the evenings?”

“That’s all part of it,” he agreed calmly. “So is the fact that I trust you. I came through the door last night, found you risking your life to protect my son, and wasn’t really surprised. Appalled that you’d been placed in that position, yes. But not surprised that you’d reacted the way you had. I want you, Sabrina, and I trust you. I agree to your terms. No more adventuring. In exchange I want a commitment from you. I want marriage.”

This was the last thing she had expected from him, Sabrina realized, and it shook her. “I … I don’t know, Matt. I don’t think there’s any need. I don’t see what it would accomplish.”

“Why are you backing off?” he demanded softly. “Why the hesitation?”

Her eyes widened slightly. “I’m not sure.”

His mouth hardened. “What aren’t you sure about? For Christ sake, you just asked me—no, demanded to know—where you stand, and I’ve told you. What more do you want?”

She shook her head, trying to put her qualms into words. “I want a stable, lasting relationship with you. But before I actually took the step of marrying you, I’d want something more than just your promise not to go play mercenary whenever the mood strikes. I’d want …”

“What?” he pushed between set teeth.

“I guess I’d want to know that I was important to you—that I came first with you. Or at least a close second to Brad,” she finally said flatly.

He expelled his breath with a sharp hissing sound that wound up in the single word “Shit!”

Sabrina wished she’d kept her mouth shut. This was his first morning home, she should have been making love to him, holding him close, glorying in his safe return and thanking him for showing up when he did last night. Instead she had precipitated a stupid confrontation.

“I’m sorry, Matt. I shouldn’t have tried to explain. I wasn’t even sure myself until I put it into words. It’s not that I minded looking after Brad. I didn’t. And I’m glad you trust me. I found myself trusting you, too, while you were gone, and it was a … a good feeling. I believe you when you say you’ll stay home now even though you didn’t get what you wanted out of this mess on Buena Ventura. It should be enough… .” Her voice trailed off. “And it is a good enough basis to risk starting a long-term relationship,” she finished valiantly.

“But not quite good enough for marriage, is that it?”

“Marriage is different somehow,” she explained lamely.

“You’re asking the impossible, you know,” he said far too calmly. “I can’t give you what you want. I can never prove that you’re more important to me than anything else in the world. There are too many other things involved. Brad, for one. And I have a hunch that even though I give you my word to stay home you’re going to wonder if deep down I’m satisfied.”

“I understand,” she assured him quickly, wishing she could find a way out of the morass. “It’s not your fault. This sort of thing is never clear-cut or simple. Logically I shouldn’t have any problem with the idea of getting married. I mean, it’s not as if I want my freedom to find someone else.”

“Are you sure about that? Sure you don’t want to keep your options open just in case Mr. Right walks into your life?” He moved, turning on his side and reached out to pull her back down onto the pillow. “It could happen, you know. Some guy who hasn’t got any kid that needs a home. Some guy who doesn’t carry a knife in his boot. Some guy who knows what he wants right from the start and doesn’t let you go traipsing off the way I did in Acapulco. Some guy who doesn’t foist his kid off on you while he tries to make a quick buck. Jesus, Sabrina, don’t you think I know I’ve been blundering through this relationship from the beginning? Hell, I started it off nearly raping you. And now I’m asking you to marry me. You don’t have to explain that you’re having a few qualms about making the situation permanent. But of all the things you could ask of me, you’re picking the one that I can never give you.”

She tried to smile, but it was a shaky attempt. “Just give me a little time, okay, Matt? The past few days have been nerve-wracking and I’m not sure I’m thinking straight yet. I’m so glad you’re back. Right now that’s really all that matters.” She put her arms around his neck and urged his mouth down to hers.

Matt surrendered to the gentle pressure. The bare length of her felt strong and tight and soft under him and her mouth was warm and inviting. This was what he had been dreaming of on Buena Ventura and at last he had it in his grasp. She wanted him, she’d let him stay with her, and she’d accept his son. Matt tried to tell himself that it was enough that she would take him pretty much as is. It was more than he had any right to expect, given the bumbling course of his courtship. If only he could have come to her unencumbered with problems of a bitter past, a shortage of funds, and a thirteen-year-old kid. He wasn’t exactly a prime catch. She had every reason to withhold part of herself.

She’d given so much, he thought achingly. She could have been killed defending Brad, who had no real claim on her protection. She would be faithful; Matt was sure of that. His instincts about her that first night in Acapulco had been accurate.