Trading Paint (Racing on the Edge) (18 page)

The next morning, the day before we left, I was in my room packing when Sway came strolling in holding a bowl of cereal.

“When do you leave?” she asked throwing herself down on the bed.

I laughed. She was dressed in one of my t-shirts and sweat pants that were entirely too large for her.

I grinned. Charlie and I hadn’t told her yet.

“What do you mean
me
...
you’re coming with me.”

I heard the clank of her spoon when she dropped it in the bowl and turned around.

Her wide eyes caused me to laugh. “What? When were you going to ask me?” her expression turned sour.

“What do you mean ask—I thought you wanted to come?”

“Well yeah
...
but you could have asked me first.” She huffed. “Like Charlie will ever agree to it. I start college in the fall.”

I didn’t forget. I knew she had a full scholarship to Western but I was hoping she would delay starting for a little while. I knew I could do this but I didn’t want to without her.

Sitting beside her on the bed, I fumbled with my racing gloves in my lap pulling the
velcro
back and forth. “I already asked Charlie two weeks ago. He said yes.”

Sway glared arching her eyebrow at me. “Did he now
...
and when were you going to ask me?”

“I’ll ask now if you want.”

“Yes, yes, ask me.” She motioned with her hands for me to continue.

“Uh
...
so do I get down on my knee?”

“This isn’t a marriage proposal asshole. Just ask.”

“Sway,” I grinned. “Will you
...
come with me?”

She contemplated for a moment and then sighed heavily rolling her eyes. “I guess so,”

“Wow,
try
to control your excitement a little. It’s overwhelming.”

Despite her sarcasm and lack of enthusiasm, I knew she was excited. Sway loved road trips about as much as she loved flip-flops. This was a lot by the way.

Giddy about the potential road trip, she left to go pack as well.

Not more than five minutes after she left, Chelsea showed up. I’m sure Spencer let her in which pissed me off. I specifically told him not to.

She knocked and walked in like she owned the place, which I’m sure she thought she did after last night.

“Where were you last night?” she asked smiling at me from the same spot on my bed Sway was just sitting. “I called you last night. When did you get home?”

“Really
...
” I laughed darkly. “Was that before or after you fucked Colby?”

Her eyes widened in surprise.

“I
...
uh
...
how did you
...
I thought you were in Cottage Grove?”

“So you thought I was in Oregon and fucked my brother’s best friend, in
my
house?” I hedged. I turned around to lean against my dresser with my arms crossed over my chest.

“I’m sorry
...
I just
...
” she stammered bringing out the tears.

“Don’t act like you’re sorry.” I snapped stepping closer to her. “I knew you fucked around but in
my house
...
” I shook my head. “That’s low even for you.”

She reached for me but I shook my head and stepped back.

“I’m sorry. Please let’s talk about it.” She begged pleading with her reddened eyes.

I looked at her finally. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand
why
I was ever with her.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” I finally said evenly.

“What do you mean there’s
nothing
to talk about?”

“That’s exactly what I mean.” The fact that I was moderately calm about this confirmed my theory that I felt nothing for her. She tacked on the name girlfriend to our relationship but then she felt it was okay to sleep around when I was gone. She had another thing coming if that was her theory on all this.

“So that’s it
...
” She laughed sarcastically. “You know Jameson, it’s not like you’re perfect. I know you slept with Sway.”

“What are you talking about?” I scoffed. “I’ve never slept with Sway.”

“You did last night
...
I saw her leave this morning.”

I let out a sarcastic laugh. “You know Chelsea,” I stepped closer to her so she could feel my breath against her face. Reaching up, I angled her chin up to look me in the eye. “It
is
possible to sleep in the same room with someone of the opposite sex and not fuck them
...
but you wouldn’t know how to do that, would you?”

Her eyes flashed anger.

“Fuck you Jameson!” she shouted pulling away. “Fuck you and your racing! You’re never going to make it out east with that temper of yours. You’ll fuck it all up.”

I laughed despite the anger raging inside me. I wasn’t sure what else to do. She knew goddamn well I would make it. Undisputable, my anger could potentially be a problem but she was just trying to piss me off.

She then decided to up the sermonizing by adding, “You’re always going to be considered Jimi’s kid. I’m not stupid either, you can deny it all you want but I know you’ve been fucking around with Sway.”

Never in my life had I wanted to hit a woman like I did right then. Not only was she knocking my skills on the track, but she was accusing me of something I didn’t do. Wanted to, but didn’t.

“Don’t turn this around on me Chelsea.” I yelled after her as she stormed out of my room, my fist connected with my bedroom wall. The gaping hole in the sheetrock confirmed my anger problem was still present. I would need to work on that.

Surprisingly, once she left, I went about packing again as if nothing happened.

Trying to pack proved to be difficult because everyone stopped by that day to say goodbye to me. Some were enjoyable and others were not.

Tommy cried, actually cried and then when I told him to meet us in Vegas, he was fine again. Tommy knew sprint cars and he specifically knew set-ups. I needed him.

Cooper stopped by and that was awkward because we hadn’t talked since I found out he had slept with Sway.

He said he’d come watch races when he could and to keep in touch. I said I would but I wasn’t sure that I would. I seemed to guard myself with anyone that showed interest in Sway. I know now why I did, but back then, I didn’t.

I nearly lost all control when my mom came for a visit. She spent most of the time in tears and crying about her baby boy leaving home and some shit about a nest and birds and I frankly stopped listening at one point until she started to make sense.

“Don’t forget where you came from.” She told me pulling me into a hug, an obsessive amount of tears falling from her eyes. “Above all else, do this because you want to not because you can.”

I’m not sure what she meant by that, but I listened. I think.

The next was Spencer.

I always felt badly because of my racing, what Spencer and Emma wanted was usually put on the back burner.

“We do this because we love it.” Was all they ever said to me when helping me out at the
track.
When it came down to it, they loved their odd jobs with my makeshift team. Emma had the negotiation skills of a great debater and Spencer could lift a fucking Buick if needed.

They were perfect to have around.

Emma on the other hand, I refused to let her come. Yeah, she graduated early with us but she was also sixteen. I didn’t want that type of responsibility. I could handle Spencer and I could handle Emma, but not together. They fed off each other and I was the only normal one, stuck in the middle.

Later that night, as I expected, when dad arrived home from Grand Rapids, he made his way inside my room.

He didn’t say anything for a good ten minutes and when he did speak, it was quiet.

“Is this really what you want?” he asked. “I only ask because you need to think this through. This isn’t just about doing something you love anymore. It becomes your entire life.”

I knew what I wanted. I didn’t have to think about it. I’d spent the last seventeen years thinking about it.

“Yes.” My voice was confident and unwavering, just like my decision to leave home.

He sighed with a nod of his head, his tired eyes found mine. “There’s going to come a time in your life when you’d give it all away to just feel.”

Huh?

I think he knew this was lost on me so he continued. “I’ve been in your shoes. I know what you’re feeling
...
you think I don’t, but I do.” He said. “It’s not easy to feel and it’s not easy to let a woman love you—at least not one that you are afraid to lose.”

Jimi was always cryptic when speaking. Half the time,
us
kids had no idea what he was talking about. Now wasn’t any different.

“Someday you’ll understand.” He said before leaving my room.

I just nodded at everything he was telling me. He thought I loved Sway, which I did but not the way he thought. I loved her friendship. I couldn’t see myself loving her any other way. Sure it would be easy to but that wasn’t me. I had no intentions of having that type of relationship with anyone. I didn’t want the responsibility of it. From what I’d seen of relationships, I never wanted that again. They were complicated and required attention, attention I didn’t have.

Right now, all that matter was seeing how I compared to those beasts from the East.

9.
    
Scuffs – Jameson

Scuffs – Slang term for tires that have been used at least once and saved for further racing. A lap or two is enough to “scuff” them. Most often, these are used in qualifying.

The morning we left, I took my time loading everything after I got back from seeing Charlie and Sway. Charlie informed me that if anything happened to Sway, he’d kill me.

I loaded the car that morning and everything else we were taking with us.

To save on money, we only took one 360-sprint for now and then the others would be stored at the race shop my dad just had built in Mooresville.

This would make it easier when we needed to pick up different cars.

Spencer and I had the car loaded with spare parts and engines by nine that morning. Sway showed up not long after that with two bags.

What girl could leave home for five months and take only two bags for clothes? Sway could. This just confirmed my theory that she was pretty much the coolest girl I’d ever met.

While my parents made sure we had everything and harassed us about safety and food, Alley showed up. Spencer and Alley were inseparable these days, which meant she would be coming with us.

I was okay with that, only because we needed all the help we could get. Standing around the driveway after everything had been loaded; we went over the schedule with my parents so they knew where we would be and when. You could see the hesitation and anxiety in their eyes. They wouldn’t have told you but to let their two sons travel across the country with no supervision was a significant risk for them, particularly when you are talking about the Riley boys.

Despite our argument yesterday, I never thought I would see Chelsea again but she showed up carrying a bag.

“What are you doing?” I asked glancing down at her bag and then leaned back against my truck. My arms crossed over my chest.

“I’m coming with you.” She told me throwing her bag at my feet. “I’m not letting you go that easily
...
if Sway is coming, I’m coming.”

“Do you really think after yesterday, I would ever want to see you?”

“I’m your girlfriend.”

“Who fucked around,” I hastened to add.

“So did you.”

Anger surged through me. I shoved my hands in my pockets.

“I never slept with anyone else, Chelsea.”

“But you kissed Sway.” Her eyes had tears in them as she examined my gargoyle expression. I lost my temper in front of everyone. My family was standing not more than twenty feet away and I lost it.

“Why do you always bring up Sway?” I seethed my voice just below a shout. “I’m fucking sick of it! Do you want to know why I’m friends with her?” I didn’t wait for her to answer. “Because unlike you, she’s not a vindictive fucking bitch and insecure,”

“I’m not insecure. I know that I’m attractive.”

Rolling my eyes, I shot back with, “What do you want? Why are you even here?”

I wasn’t upset that she slept with Colby, I was relieved. It was a way out for me. What I was upset about was her accusing me of sleeping with Sway.