Traded (8 page)

“Damn straight. Any guy who has you walking out of his hotel room to find your own way home is a guy who needs to be taught a lesson,” he snapped. “Who was it, Chris? Some guy you picked up, someone I know?”

“I’m not some slut, Myles. I didn’t pick someone up. It just kind of happened. We’re friends.” Friends who’d had dinner and wine and acted on their attraction after Jake said he wanted to sleep with her, that was all. Friends with benefits, wasn’t that what people called it? But then, she and Jake had never really figured it out. They’d been interrupted.

“Chris,” he growled, and she knew he wouldn’t let up until she told him.

“It was Jake Wilde.”

“The guy who’s here to replace me?”

“I’m sorry. I like him.”

“Oh, Chris. Haven’t you learned anything after Troy? I told you to stay away from the players on the team. I don’t want to see you gutted like you were after Troy. Most of these guys aren’t looking for commitment with a nice girl like you. They want no strings and a quick fuck and so long, baby.”

For a second, she wondered if he was talking about himself. He wasn’t seeing anyone, but she also knew he wasn’t a monk. He was into things she was pretty sure she didn’t want to know—kinky stuff. She’d heard the talk from some of the girls who’d been with her brother. It was a picture she didn’t want in her head.

“You don’t get it, Chris. He’s not going to call. He’s done with you. So you need to be okay with that and leave it be. What happened with Troy…I don’t want to ever see you suffer like you did. He played you, he had fun. When a guy leaves—”

“I know! You’ve told me a hundred times.” She cut him off before he could finish. “It was his way of saying get lost, so long, because I wasn’t important enough for him to give me a second thought.”

“Yeah, that’s right, and the way you pushed it—”

“I know, okay?” She gritted her teeth, spitting the words out. She didn’t want to hear any more lectures about a time in her life she wished she could forget about forever. “I thought there was more. I fell in love with him. I was an idiot. I thought if I kept calling, he’d realize that he cared for me. I was hurting, and I needed to hear from him that it was over, but he never gave me that courtesy. Maybe I’m not as ‘take it or leave it’ or ‘love them and leave them’ as you and Troy, but what he did to me, calling the cops, saying I was harassing him…that wasn’t fair. I didn’t harass him. I was devastated that he left, that he wouldn’t call me back. He never said one word about ending anything. He just left when he got his offer. That was cruel and unjustified.”

“Maybe so, Chris, but he was also a coward, and calling the cops on you was his way of having them tell you what he didn’t have the balls to tell you himself. It was a crappy thing to do, I agree, but you’ve got to be smarter about guys like that. If a guy is really into you, he’s going to call you. He’s going to pursue you, so don’t be giving it away for free. You need to make him earn it.”

She felt ashamed, sitting in that seat, as he pulled up in front of her three-story walkup. She touched the handle, about to open the door and climb out, but instead she slid around on the dark leather and faced him.

“Thanks, Myles, really.”

He nodded, staring out ahead. “I’ve made some decisions as of late. I’m considering retiring.”

That was the one thing she hadn’t expected. “Oh, why, Myles? Is this because of what happened?” He would know what she meant: the fumble that cost the team their spot in the playoffs.

“Partly. I have a lot to consider. I’m making just under a hundred thousand a week, and I’ve saved nothing. This is make or break time, Chris. Reality is that I’m likely to be dropped, and everything out there, including the endorsement deals, is drying up. No one’s knocking on the door of the guy who was responsible for fumbling in the playoffs. I don’t have a big college degree like some of these guys, so I’ve started diversifying lately, invested in a franchise. But I’ve got an offer on the table to coach.”

“What?” She’d never in a million years thought he’d consider coaching. “Where?”

“University, Vanderbilt. They came to me a while ago. They’ve been holding the position, but they need an answer.”

“Are you going to take it?”

He watched her for the longest time and then took a breath. “Yes, and I want you to come with me.”

She couldn’t just leave, pack up, and go across the country to Nashville. She was building a life here.

“Come on, Chris. I want you to think about it. You need a fresh start, and you can have it there. How often do you get a chance to start over?”

She couldn’t answer that. She wanted to say no as she thought of Jake, but then the hurt came with it. There was no way she could stick around and watch him build something with a woman who’d kicked him to the curb. She couldn’t be that girl ever again, pining for a man who didn’t want her. “Can I think about it?”

“Yeah, think about it. We’ll talk tomorrow. But I’m serious, Chris. Sometimes you’ve got to know when you’re done and it’s time to move on.”

She nodded, more to herself, because on some level she knew he was right. She slid open the door and stepped out shoving it closed behind her as she waved to him. She fumbled her keys in the lock at the door, and as soon as the door closed, she heard her brother drive away. Her eyes ached, her head was spinning, and she wanted nothing more than to curl up on her bed and have a good cry.

Having Jill stay in his hotel room wasn’t what he’d expected, but after she dropped her little bomb on him, he’d been shell shocked. He still was this morning, considering that not long ago, this was exactly what he’d wanted. Now he couldn’t help feeling regret, questioning everything he’d set in motion. He stared at his cell phone as he listened to the shower running. He was relieved to have a moment to himself without Jill hovering. He was starting to question the wisdom of all the choices he’d made.

If this was Chris, he didn’t think he’d feel quite the same sense of loss, but then, Chris wasn’t anything like Jill. Chris was so strong and honest that he couldn’t see her dashing from one man to the next. He’d been fixated on having Jill for so long that he’d never stopped to think that what she’d done wasn’t okay. He reached for his phone, wondering if Chris would still be at home this morning. Had she already left for work? He needed to see if she was okay. Hell, he wasn’t okay after last night. He dialed her number and listened to the ring, but it went to voicemail.

“Chris, it’s Jake. I wanted to call and check on you this morning.” He paused for a second. “Call me, please.”

“You never told me what that girl means to you.”

He hadn’t heard her come out of the bathroom. He turned to see her standing there in a robe with a towel around her wet hair. At one time, he’d loved talking to Jill and wouldn’t even have considered hiding what he was thinking. He had been so wrapped up in trying to know everything about her. How quickly things had changed.

“How’d you sleep?” He had no intention of talking about Chris with her. It just didn’t feel right.

“I see.” She licked her lips as the distance in the room grew. “I slept fine, considering.” She gestured between them. “You didn’t have to sleep on the pullout. It couldn’t have been that comfortable. I could have taken it.”

“It’s fine. I’m going to grab a shower.” He stepped around Jill, and she reached out and touched his arm.

“I realize I pushed you away, and what I did wasn’t fair to you, but I was scared. I’m still scared. That’s why I had to come and see you.”

He looked down at her. She lifted her hand from his arm. He was barefoot after sleeping in the same t-shirt and jeans from yesterday. He took a step back and opened his drawer to pull out clean clothes.

“Well, I guess it’s a fine mess, then.” If he was being honest, it was a mess he’d created. His conscience prodded, but he pushed it away. He could be an ass when things didn’t go his way, as he could tell by the hurt that shadowed her expression. “Look, we’ll figure it out, okay?”

She lifted her head, and a soft smile touched her lips. He reached out to touch her cheek, as he’d done many times before. She leaned into his touch, but for him this was far different from every other time, lacking any comfort or desire to take things further. So he pulled away.

“Jake, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I can’t help the way I feel.”

No, you can’t help the way you feel. It is what it is.
He knew that from firsthand experience. “You’re still in love with my brother?”

Did he really want to know? He waited as she glanced away, appearing torn. He’d seen that expression many times before. Maybe he just hadn’t been willing to find out what it meant. He’d been scared to know.

“There’s a lot to discuss, Jake. I’m confused. All I know is I’m pregnant, and it’s changed everything. I didn’t plan it, but I wondered if you did. I was so mad at you. You’d never been careless before.” By the way her expression changed, he knew she was holding something back. Then she shook her head as if pushing whatever it was away. A woman with secrets. Jill, he realized, had many. There was a part of her he’d never have.

No, she was right. He’d known exactly what he was doing. How could he tell her that he’d planned to get her pregnant because he was so desperate to find a way to tie her to him? You couldn’t do that with someone, not ever. If someone didn’t want to be with you, it was better to let them go, because the alternative was way worse. Why hadn’t he figured that out before?

Her cell phone started ringing. It was muffled from where it was tucked inside her navy handbag, sitting on the dresser. He watched her as she reached for it and didn’t miss the way she hesitated before turning away slightly to answer it. At any other time, he’d have stayed and listened, then asked her who it was. But he’d lost interest. He was so tired of her secrets and holding back, so he walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

He was just getting out of the shower when he heard the door. Maybe she’d ordered room service. He hadn’t thought of it. He pulled on his clothes and started out of the bathroom, the fan stirring the steam from the shower in the background. He stopped short when he saw Samuel inside his room, not missing the way his brother took in both beds. Jill was dressed in yesterday’s clothes, her wet hair slicked back.

Jake hadn’t seen Samuel since Christmas, and this was the first time he’d seen him with his hair cut so short, Beckham style. Its messy look and the expression on his face said just how pissed he was.

“Great, this is just great,” Jake muttered as he walked past the two of them. At this point, he just wanted some coffee. He sat on the bed and pulled on a clean pair of socks.

The energy in the room was stifling. No one said anything.

“So you run down here, to my brother?” Samuel snapped. He paced and then leaned against the wall. This hotel room wasn’t big enough for the three of them.

“Look, Samuel, things have gotten more complicated.”

“I’ll say,” Jake said. “Look, you two want to talk or have it out or whatever it is you want to do, you go for it.” Jake reached for his wallet on the nightstand and tucked it into his back pocket. “I’m going to go for coffee, grab a bite to eat.” Then he paused. He had to ask, he had to know. “So is this who phoned, Jill? My brother? And you invited him up.”

At one time, he and Samuel had been so close. Never in a million years could he have imagined the chill between them now. It was sad to know their relationship and the closeness they’d had was gone.

“Yeah, I called her. Why did you up and run, Jill? I came home from work, and you were gone, and then I found your note. We’ve talked about this already. We decided it was better not to say anything.”

“No, you talked. I listened. This isn’t right, Samuel. This could be your brother’s baby.”

What the fuck?
The way she said it had Jake glancing up as he reached for his keys, turning ever so slowly and staring at her. “What the hell is going on? Could be my baby—are you kidding me? What kind of games are you playing, Jill?” he snapped and then glanced his brother’s way.

Samuel was shaking his head. He could be so pigheaded sometimes, but this was the first time Jake had ever felt as if his brother were trying to screw him over. It stung more than anything. Something was going on, and he couldn’t help feeling as if they were treading on thin ice. No one was ever going to make decisions for him, not ever.

Jill was looking down at her fingers, a slight blush on her cheeks. She didn’t answer him, and Samuel was staring at her hard as if waiting her out and expecting her to say what needed to be said.

“Somebody better say something.”

Samuel pushed away from the wall and took a step toward Jake. It was amazing: Jill didn’t even look up as her hand shot out and to Samuel’s chest, holding him back. She must have been used to dealing with his fiery personality. She still didn’t say a word.

“I’m waiting, and I’m not liking what you two are up to,” Jake said. “Stop messing with me and tell me already.”

Jill was still touching Samuel while standing in Jake’s hotel room, not a scenario he wanted. It hurt that he finally understood he’d always come second to his brother with Jill. Whatever was going on, they’d discussed it and planned together, and Jake was the odd man out.

“Jill, are you going to tell him, or should I?” Samuel was going all alpha on her, and she started to say something to him, giving him all her attention. No one needed to fill in any more blanks or explain to him that he didn’t stand a chance here. But then, he realized, this was a fight that had long since lost any appeal for him.

“Tell me what? Someone better fill me in.”

“Samuel, I can’t. It’s not right.” Jill was talking as if he wasn’t even in the same room.

“We’re getting married,” Samuel said.

“Stop it, Samuel! Jake, I was kidding myself. I was angry and hurt over what Samuel did, but I never stopped loving him. I realized, when you asked me to marry you, that I couldn’t love you like that. You were my friend. I love you like a friend, my best friend. When I found out I was pregnant, I hoped it wasn’t yours.”