Tracker’s Sin (28 page)

with Desi, but whenever she looked at her twin, she couldn’t forget that when it’d come to the moment of truth, Desi had saved herself. And after saving

herself, she hadn’t sent help. Ari had counted on that help. Prayed for it. Believed in it as she’d been passed from man to man, sold and used. Rescue

had never come.

And now she found out that while Ari had been suffering, Desi had been fal ing in love. Getting married. Having a baby. Part of her was

happy for her sister. The other part was bitterly resentful, and there wasn’t any apparent way of resolving the two. What Desi had was what Ari would have

wished for her if she’d had a choice. It was not having the choice that burned like acid.

Tracker nudged her arm with his elbow. “Let’s go.”

If she had any guts at al , Ari would kick him in the bal s. It was because of Tracker’s highhandedness that her night of new beginnings had

gone to hel . She glared at him. He cocked an eyebrow at her.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’ve got to eat. You’ve got a child to feed. You know that.”

“My milk dried up. You know
that.
” She refused to blush when she recal ed how he knew.

“It might come back with some good food and relaxing.”

“And it might not.”

“Borrowing trouble, sweets?”

Yes, she believed she was.

Tracker nodded and motioned for her to go through the door. “Thank you for dinner, Desi.” To Ari he said, “Let’s go.”

Tracker’s face looked as grim as the reaper’s. It was dark outside. Hardly inviting. She hesitated. He jerked his chin again. “Come on.”

As soon as she got out the door, he stopped and pushed his plate into her hands before putting the basket on the ground.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I forgot the lantern.”

Two minutes later he was back.

“Where are we going?” she demanded.

“To someplace special.”

“What could be so special that I need to go see it in the middle of the night?”

“Trust me.”

“I did, and look where it got me.”

He let that slide. Taking her elbow, he guided her around the house, the bouncing light from the lantern il uminating a faint path. As they

went down a smal slope, she could hear water running over rocks, but she couldn’t see past the pool of light to where it originated. She looked back over

her shoulder. A light stil shone in the kitchen, but there was no sign of Desi. Ari shook her head against the onslaught of emotion that brought. Sadness.

Loss. Too much of everything, when she felt as fragile as glass.

Tracker stopped. She had the impression of openness.

“We’re here.”

“The tone of your voice doesn’t imply being
here
is going to be much fun.”

“I’m not in the mood for fun.”

“Wel , neither am I, so why don’t we just go back home?”

“I’m not happy with how you treated Desi.”

“Then you shouldn’t have ambushed me with the meeting.”

“You’re right.” He sighed and took something out of the basket. When he snapped it in the air, she realized it was a blanket. “I guess I just

thought you’d see each other and find the closeness again.”

“Maybe the problem is we’re too close.”

“Can’t be too close with family. When al is said and done, they’re al you have.”

“I know, but, Tracker, you can’t rush me.”

An expression she couldn’t decipher flitted across his face. “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t want to talk anymore about the things she couldn’t fix. She sat. “Why are we here in the dark?” she asked, slapping her

shoulder. “Besides providing dinner for the mosquitoes, I mean.”

Tracker squatted beside her and cupped her chin in his hand. His expression was deadly serious. “A chance to talk.”

Oh, God. Not more talk. “About what?”

“The day after tomorrow at the latest, we’l be settling accounts with Amboy.”

“
We
being you and the rest of Hel ’s Eight?”

“I’m not anticipating any problems, but you never know. I doubt your Mr. Amboy wil be coming alone.”

“You have to be careful.”

“I’m always careful, but chance is a fickle thing. If something happens to me, I want to know you’re safe. I want to know you’ve got your

family.”

He was talking about Desi. Ari shook her head and fisted her hands. “I look at Desi and I see her walking away, leaving me behind. No

matter how much I want to forgive her, I can’t.”

“It might be easier if you heard her side.”

“I know, but what if I do and I stil can’t forgive? What do I do then? I don’t want to lose my sister forever. I don’t.”

“Then you come back and you try again until you do find the forgiveness. You’ve got a big heart, Ari. You forgave me for the way I look, for

the way I behave. You’re even halfway to forgiving Josefina and Vincente.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’ve lost the anger when you say their names.”

“In a way, their lies were a blessing. They al owed me to know you without the scars of the past.”

“I can understand that, but if you forgive them, why not Desi?”

“It’s different with her.”

“Because you love her.”

“Yes.”

“I want this settled, Ari.”

“I can’t.”

A twig snapped behind her. He held her chin when she would’ve looked.

“I want it settled now.”

Tracker didn’t reach for his gun. She knew who was behind her.

She couldn’t go through this again. “Don’t ask this of me, Tracker.”

“I’m asking.”

“It’s not fair.”

“I never said it was, but I’m stil asking.” His thumb brushed her lips. “Just remember, she’s hurting, too.”

Ari could see that. Desi walked into the lamplight. Her arms were wrapped around her abdomen, as if she’d taken one blow too many.

Tear tracks stained her cheeks. Her eyes were red, her face blotchy.

A crack appeared in Ari’s anger. So much pain. For both of them. “Oh, Desi.”

Tracker stood. Desi came to the edge of the blanket. She stopped dead, as if it were a border that couldn’t be crossed.

Tracker held out his hand. Ari put hers in it, feeling as if she was about to step off a ledge. “Listen to her, Ari. At least do that.”

Ari nodded.

“I didn’t leave you,” Desi whispered.

“I was there. I saw what happened.”

“I know how it looked—”

“I’l get over it.”

“Ari,” Tracker warned.

She turned on him. “Why should I believe whatever she says?”

He squeezed her hand and dragged her off the blanket into the middle of the open area. The ground was soft and springy under her feet.

She could see flashes of white as the lantern swayed. Tracker halted. “This is why.”

He held the lantern high. Little white flowers dotted the ground. In daylight the leaves of the flowers would be green, but at night they

appeared black, making the contrast even more startling. Tracker let go of her and bent down and plucked a flower. Ari knew what it was before he

shoved it into her hand. It was a daisy. Just like the ones in the meadow back home behind the summer house. The meadow where she and her sister had

played, dreamed, made promises to each other. Fanciful ones made with a child’s belief that they could control life through sheer force of wil . Where they

promised to always protect each other. Where they promised to always stand up for one another and never let anything or anyone come between them.

“I don’t know much about what your home life was like when you were little.” He pointed to the flower. “But I know what that is.”

“What?”

He waved his hand to encompass the meadow. “This is a hard land, Ari. It takes a tol on everything that tries to put down roots. By rights,

not a single flower should survive here. But they’re not dead. And neither are you.”

He shone the lantern in Desi’s direction. “And neither is your sister.”

Desi sobbed and her hand covered her mouth.

“I may not know everything I should, but I know what that is in your hand. It stands for a promise from your sister to you. A promise kept.”

And we’ll protect each other forever.

“How did you know?”

“I didn’t, but no one works that hard to make the impossible happen without a reason. These flowers are alive because they mean

something to both of you. Something so important, Desi wouldn’t let them die, despite the backbreaking work it took to keep them alive.”

Ari covered her mouth and stared at her sister, the daisies and then back at her sister. “Oh, God. Desi.”

Tracker cupped her cheek. Taking the flower, he tucked it in her hair. “When you go, remember that moment of betrayal. But you might

want to remember al this, too.” He handed her the lantern, then took her by the shoulders and turned her in the direction of her twin. “Go talk to your sister.

I’l stand guard.”

She started walking. So did Desi, and the hope in her expression tore Ari’s heart. Tracker was right. This was a hard land that took a tol

on everything, but her sister had taken on the chal enge and made it beautiful.

Nothing will ever come between us. Sisters forever.

Ari pul ed the daisy from her hair and stared at the petals—so many coming together to make something simply beautiful. Whatever

happened that day, she knew Desi hadn’t left her wil ingly.

She handed the flower to her twin. “We promised to always be there for each other.”

“I was.”

“How?”

“If it had been you instead of me, what choice would you have made? What would you have done?”

“I wouldn’t save myself, leaving you to suffer.”

Desi crushed the flower in her hand. “What the hel makes you imagine I did? For heaven’s sake, Ari,
think.
We did everything together,

were everything to each other. What makes you think anything could possibly lead me to leave you like that?”

“I cried for you to come back. For months I waited for rescue. I held on, and I believed in you. No one ever came.”

“That’s not true. I sent Tracker. I sent them al .”

Yes. She had. She couldn’t stop the flow of words. They’d been trapped inside her for too long. “I didn’t save myself, Ari. They said

whomever I chose would be saved. I chose you, but then they turned around and said it didn’t matter what I wanted. And they took me. It wasn’t a rescue.

They bought me for their personal use. Chained me naked to the bed when I escaped too often.”

Her hand shook when she reached out. Ari grasped it, feeling Desi’s pain as if it was her own. The trembling spread to her, and her own

tears choked her voice, a harsh gasp of sound.

“I didn’t know.”

“How could you know anything? You were a prisoner.”

“So were you.”

“But I knew what you thought. Knew what you suffered. For almost two years I’ve had one goal—finding you. I sent the Hel ’s Eight after

you even though I knew it would jeopardize Caine’s dream, because the men couldn’t be here, at the ranch. Even though I knew others would suffer

because without the Eight there’s no law. You were my sister. You needed to come home.”

Ari couldn’t stand it anymore. She hugged her. The tears poured harder. Hers, her sister’s—who could tel ? What did it matter? “I thought

you were happy and free.”

“I was. Eventual y.”

“Thinking that kept me sane.”

“But you resented it.”

“I hurt so much. I had to put the pain somewhere.”

“So you put it into hating me.”

Ari hugged her harder. It hurt so much to admit that, knowing how much it was going to pain Desi. “Yes.” Her sister flinched. “But only

because I knew there was nothing I couldn’t forgive you for,” she hastened to add.

Desi took a step back, stil holding Ari’s arm. “Tel me you forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

Desi gripped so tightly that her nails bit into Ari’s skin through her clothing. “Tel me so I have that memory, too.”

The words came easily. “I forgive you.” It wasn’t so easy to ask for herself. “Can you forgive me?”

“Oh, yes. That’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done. After years of not knowing if you were alive or dead, I’ve final y got my sister back.”

Desi wiped her face with her sleeve. “When the note came from Zach that Tracker had found you, I just col apsed. I’d sent you that letter

so you’d know who he was. I planted this field of daisies so you’d have a place to return to.” She wiped her face again. Ari wiped hers. The tears wouldn’t

stop, for either of them, but the pain was subsiding.

“Tel me about Caine.”

“When Caine found me, I was little more than an animal fighting and running, tempting death and defying it. My world was such chaos that

some days I didn’t even know who I was. Caine stepped into that chaos and did what he does best—sorted through it. When the padre backed him into a

corner and told him he couldn’t take me from the man who had me then, without benefit of marriage, Caine agreed. In one fel swoop he gave me

respectability and a future. It took him a long time to get through to me. Even longer for me to believe that he wasn’t tricking me, too, and that I was worthy.”

Desi shook her head. “It took a long time. But al that time I never stopped thinking of you and looking for you.”

“I know.” Ari believed her. When her sister’s arms came around her, Ari started to cry again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Me, too.”

Desi shook her head. “Sometimes you need to be angry to stay alive. I know that.”

“I’m so glad Caine found you.”

“I’m glad Tracker found
you.
”

She scrubbed her cheek. “He’s high-handed.”

“But a good man. You’l forgive him?”

Already her anger was fading. “Apparently I have a big heart.”