Tracker’s Sin (19 page)

Had she remembered her father? “Shadow and Zacharias don’t count as public.”

“They don’t?”

Nothing in her expression indicated she realized what she’d said. Instinct said it would be a bad move to point out the slip. Besides, she

felt good in his lap. And as brutal as tomorrow was going to be, he needed a little peace now. “Nah, they’l keep my secrets.”

Ari’s hand crept up his shoulder to touch his neck just above the col ar of his shirt. “Good.”

A few minutes passed, then she said, “How bad is it going to be tomorrow, Tracker?”

“Bad. You’re going to want to cry and give up.”

“But I won’t.”

He shook his head and kissed the top of hers. “No. You won’t.”

“Why?”

“Because once we get to the top of that canyon, we’l be on Hel ’s Eight land.”

“So I’ve just got to get over that hil .”

“One step at time. That’s al it’l take.”

“Thousands of one steps.”

“But you only have to take them one at a time.”

“It does sound more manageable when put that way.”

“Good.”

Minutes passed during which he thought she’d fal en asleep, but then she whispered, “Tracker?”

Weariness was taking hold of him, too. In a few moments he’d have to go see what arrangements Shadow and Zach had made for

keeping watch, but right now he could hold her as night fel , and pretend they were back on Hel ’s Eight, sitting in a rocking chair on the big porch. In his

fantasy, there was no threat of a past to come screaming forward to hack up any possibility of a future. Just two people enjoying each other’s company.

“Yes?”

Tilting her head back, she studied his face with blue eyes that were luminous in the dusk. “I heard what you said earlier. About never

having loved anyone before.”

Everything inside him went tight. It had been a long time since anyone dared mock him. His reaction was never good.

“Do you think you love me, Tracker?”

Think?
He knew it. “What I feel is of no concern to you.”

“What if I want it to concern me?”

“Then I’d say for the first time since I’ve met you, I think you’re crazy.”

Her hand crept around his side. The other slid around his neck. He looked down. Her blue eyes were soft in the light. Completely

enchanting. His own private little witch woman weaving her spel … His cock went hard in a rush. Stupid thing didn’t even care that they had no privacy. It

just wanted to be in her, part of her. Home.

“We might die tomorrow.”

It wasn’t a shock to hear her say it. He knew she was frightened.

“I told you we’l make it.”

“I understand, but I want a memory.”

“Of what?”

Her fingers slid delicately up and down his neck. A tingle shot down his spine. “Of you, kissing me with love.”

Could she feel the pending return of the memories? Did she fear what it would mean? “I’ve already kissed you.”

“That was with passion.”

He didn’t want to go there. If he let the emotion inside him out, he’d never be able to walk away. Or let her walk away.

Her fingers closed into a fist.

“You’re asking too much.”

“You said once that you’d give me anything.”

Yes, he had. And hel , what did it matter? He wanted that memory, too. He started unbuttoning her blouse.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to kiss you with love, but I want to see these pretty little breasts while I’m doing it.”

“Zach and Shadow…”

“Wil respect our privacy, and even if they don’t, al they’l see is me holding you.”

He slid his hand inside her blouse and under her camisole, and cupped her breast in his palm. Her shiver was a balm to his conscience.

“I like that,” he murmured.

“What?”

“Your nipple poking into my palm, demanding attention.”

“A woman doesn’t make demands.”

He laughed and kissed her nose. “You don’t have to make demands. Whatever you want in bed, I’l give to you.”

Resting her head against his shoulder, she pursed her lips in a silent order.

He pressed his thumb against her mouth. He couldn’t remember having such natural innocence. He couldn’t match it, but he could value it.

Cherish it. No matter what had happened to Ari before, this was the real woman. The woman who led with her heart and didn’t hold back. He spread tiny

kisses from her temple to her mouth, gentling her with tenderness, because for al her big talk, she was nervous. Nervous of tomorrow, of him. Nervous of

what she was asking, because she had to know there was no going back after this. Not for him. But just in case she didn’t, he rubbed his mouth over hers,

kissing the corners, touching them with his tongue, nibbling, enticing them to open with light, feathery little touches.

“If we do this, there’s no going back.” He had to say it.

Her fingers locked behind his neck. She touched her tongue to his lower lip. It was his turn to shiver. “Al I have behind me are lies.”

He held her gaze. “If I kiss you the way you’re asking, take from you what you’re offering, no matter what the future brings, no matter what

you remember, I won’t let you go.”

“Good.”

Shit.

She pul ed him down, and he went, taking her mouth with a smooth thrust. Hungry for the taste of her, finding the same hunger in her.

Kissing her for the first time, maybe the last time, with no barriers between them. Just two people in this moment. Kissing her until he couldn’t breathe, and

then because he couldn’t stop. Kissing her as she’d asked. Kissing her as if he loved her.

10

B
rutal didn’t begin to describe the next day’s journey. The ride was hard. The sun hot. Miguel, trapped in his cradleboard, was as hot as the rest of them,

and refused to be soothed. It was a nonstop job to keep him from screaming too loudly. Even the silver cross Zacharias dangled in front of his face failed

to work its magic. By the time they reached Drunk Hole, everyone’s nerves were on edge.

It was easy to see the more frequented path they might have traveled. It snaked among the brush and rocks, worn deep from al the

wildlife that relied on the water source. The path to the blind canyon was not so clear. At a bend in the trail, Shadow motioned for them to get down from

the horses.

“We’l walk from here so we don’t leave any more of a trail than necessary.”

From there they traveled single file. Ari carried Miguel on her back and wore a pair of Zach’s boots stuffed with socks. They hoped, from

the size of the shoe and the depth of the impression, it wouldn’t be so obvious to anyone picking up the trail that she was female. Ari looked back at the

wobbly tracks she made and shook her head. “Maybe they’l think I’m drunk.”

Zach smiled. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

She executed a drunken stumble. Only Zach smiled. A closer look revealed it as being so fake it wasn’t worth bothering. The men

exchanged glances and Zach gathered the reins of al the horses and led them away. He would circle around to lay a false trail.

Shadow and Tracker constantly scanned the high wal s of the narrow canyon. They walked in deeper. The wal s loomed higher. A flock of

crows flew up in front of them, cal ing a warning. Ari jumped.

The height of the wal s and the narrowness of the path gave the impression that they were walking into a yawning mouth that only had to

close to swal ow them up forever. “This is creepy,” Ari mumbled.

The only blessing was the high wal s kept the blistering sun off her skin. The slightly cooler temperature was welcome in the oppressive

heat.

Tracker lifted his rifle into position against his shoulder. Shadow, too, had his rifle ready to fire.

“What is it?” she whispered.

“We’re coming to the end of the canyon.”

The part where their brutal little trip was supposed to get worse. The part where they would be exposed. The part where it could al fal

apart. Ari shifted the straps of Miguel’s cradleboard on her shoulders. She wasn’t sure she could do this. Already her shoulders were bruised and her

thighs ached. Already Miguel’s weight seemed to have doubled.

You can make it. One step at a time.

That’s al she needed to remember. One step at time. She’d promised Tracker. She’d promised Miguel. She’d promised herself. One

step at a time.

She wiped the sweat from her brow with her shoulder. More immediately formed. Miguel whimpered. Behind her, she heard Shadow

move forward. Miguel’s whimper changed to a coo. There were sides to Tracker’s twin that surprised her. She could see him shooting up saloons. She

could see him kil ing a man, but she never would’ve guessed he was an excel ent nursemaid. But he was. An example being the way he kept wiping

Miguel’s face with precious water from his canteen so the little boy wouldn’t overheat.

She turned, wincing as the ropes pressed into her shoulders.

“Thank you.”

Shadow didn’t smile. She wondered if he even could, or if the muscles in his face had atrophied into that solemn expression.

“It’s the least I could do for my nephew.”

She opened her mouth to deny the claim.

Do not be so quick to deny him a place.

Whatever problems Shadow had with her, they were with her and not with her son. According to al the rumors and tal tales that

surrounded the men of Hel ’s Eight, Shadow was a ruthless enemy and an honorable man. She might not remember the past, but the last eleven months

had proved to her that a strong, honorable, ruthless man was good to have around. Miguel would need someone like that in his life. Feeling awkward,

unsure and definitely not welcome, she smiled at Shadow. “Thank you for that, too.”

He glanced behind him. She couldn’t help but look, too, though there was nothing to see except rocks, canyon wal s and the scrub that

clung to both.

“What I said before…I’m sorry.”

“When you threatened me?”

“Yeah.”

“You meant it, though, didn’t you?”

“I love my brother.”

She sighed. “Because I care for him, too, I’m going to pretend that was not a threat, but concern in a different guise.”

Her next glance over her shoulder was worth the pain. Shadow actual y looked surprised.

“You weren’t threatening me?” she asked.

“I was just explaining…”

He real y wasn’t good at apologies. “It’s al right. I think, in the same position, I’d do the same,” she told him.

His surprise turned to shock. Ahead, she saw Tracker cast a wary glance back, and it suddenly struck her that her place between the two

brothers was entirely too symbolic. Family was too important. She couldn’t be the bone of contention that broke them apart. Speaking just loudly enough

for Tracker to hear, she said, “Thank you, Shadow. I appreciate al you’ve done for me.”

It was kind of good to get a last word in. It was even better to see the pleasure on Tracker’s face. Such a smal sacrifice on her part to

forgive a man who would give his life to protect her son. And her, too, simply because it was the right thing to do. She’d been as guilty as al the others

—using the brothers’ skil s to her advantage without seeing the men behind those skil s. Oh, she saw Tracker. The beauty of his spirit behind his eyes. But

Shadow she’d judged on his appearance. He looked wild and mean, so she’d decided he was.

When she looked back, Shadow was studying her as if she were some strange sort of bug he’d never seen before, and he wasn’t sure if

she was going to be beneficial or deadly. She al owed herself a smal smile. Let him wonder about that.

She stumbled over her boot and put out her hand. The wal was right there. Wonderful. The canyon was getting narrower. Her skin crawled

as the wal s seemed to loom higher. Anyone could be hiding up there. And if someone was, the four of them were sitting ducks.

Please, Lord, don’t let Comancheros be up on those walls.

A soft whistle came from ahead. Tracker stopped and walked back to her. The dim, flat light of the canyon was kinder to his face than the

sun, softening the harsh planes, diminishing the appearance of the scar, bringing attention to the sensual ful ness of his mouth and the beauty of his

bedroom eyes. She wanted to snatch the hat off his head and run her fingers through his hair, wrap it around her shoulders and bind them together.

“Why are we stopping?”

“A few feet ahead we’l be in the open and we start climbing. Are you ready?”

No. She wasn’t ready. She hadn’t had a chance to make love to him in a bed. She hadn’t had the courage to tel him she loved him, too.

That she saw him as more than a man who could save her. Tel him that, though she didn’t remember her past, the moment she saw him she’d recognized

him in an elemental way. That she couldn’t imagine her future without him in it.

“Yes.”

“Good. Let’s get you ready.”

Tracker pul ed that nasty-looking knife from his belt. “Take off your skirt.”

“I beg your pardon?” She looked from him to Shadow. “I’m not getting undressed.”

Shadow eased the cradleboard from her back. For a moment there was no weight, no pain, no feeling. For a moment there was peace. It

was a very brief moment. From behind came the distant caw of angry crows.

“Sounds like we’ve got company,” Shadow said.

Comancheros.
They were coming for her. Lights started flashing before her eyes. A roar fil ed her ears. She stumbled as the ground

seemed to tilt.
Oh no!
She recognized the signs. She couldn’t have an episode now. She couldn’t.

One step at a time.

Tracker’s low drawl rumbled over the roar. Yes. She could do this, one step at a time. She reached out desperately, needing an anchor.