Tracing Hearts (8 page)

First, he opens my door, allowing me to enter, then closes it. He walks around to his side and gets in.

“So where to?”

“Well, I thought perhaps you’d like some genuine, American food, so I’m taking us to a very well-known restaurant around here. It’s right on the main road.”

“Okay, sounds good,” he says, and he begins to back out of the driveway.

We pull into the parking lot of Ana’s Kitchen, and I can almost taste her grilled chicken. Mom and Dad took me here frequently as a kid. Almost every Sunday, we’d sit in a booth by the window, and Miss Sally would ask if I wanted chocolate milk. It always amazed me how she could remember that. When we enter the building, Miss Sally approaches us, sincerity on her face. Oh no.

“Hi, honey. How are you doing?” she says in her sympathetic, southern accent.

“I’m okay, for now.” I smile sweetly. I don’t want to start crying again. Not in front of Sebastian. Not after I told him I didn’t want him to hold his tongue where my mother is concerned. I need to get off this subject.

“Hi. I’m Sebastian. And you’re Miss Sally?” She nods. “I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s very nice to meet you.” He holds out his hand. She takes it and greets him with a handshake. Her face looks surprised.

“Um…hi,” she says awkwardly.

I giggle slightly. I think she’s speechless.

“Miss Sally, this is my pen pal from Germany. He’s only here for a week. I thought I’d show him where he can get the best cheeseburger around.”

Her eyes seem to refocus, and she snaps out of her daze upon hearing my words.

“Well, of course!” she says excitedly. “I’ll show you to your table.”

We follow her to a booth by the window. My heart sinks just a bit.

“So what do you recommend?” he asks me.

“How did you know her name? And that I called her
Miss
Sally?”

He smiles.

“You told me.”

What? When? My puzzled expression begs him to continue.

“In your many letters over the years. You talked about how she always brought you chocolate milk. Am I mistaken?”

Oh, my God. He remembered.

“No. You’re not mistaken. I’m just fascinated that, of all the things I wrote to you about, that one stuck in your mind.”

“Not just that one. I recall lots of things you’d talk about. And, as long as I’m not supposed to watch what I say to you, I also know you and your parents used to sit by the window at a booth just like this one.”

“Yes, you’re right. But, how—”

“I’m good at remembering details. Well, not all details, just ones that interest me.”

He smiles matter of factly, as if he didn’t just shock me with his photographic memory. I know I haven’t written about this place in at least three or four years. I wonder what else he remembers.

“Good looking and a good memory. Your future wife will be one lucky girl. Not only will you remember your anniversary, she’ll never have to remind you to take out the trash.”

He chuckles.

“Whoa now. Let’s not get carried away. I said I only remember things that
interest
me. One of those is going to have to give.”

I giggle, and his face turns serious.

“You have a cute laugh.”

I feel my cheeks heat, so I cover them with the menu.

We go on to order our food and dive into it as soon as it gets to the table. The whole time we’re here, we talk about what we’ve been up to, what we’re doing at the present, and our plans for the future.

“So, I take it you’re not interested in following in your father’s footsteps?”

He scoffs.

“No way. I don't want my kids resenting me for letting them grow up on a military base. Or worse, moving from one to another their whole lives.”

“Then, what do you want?”

He places his hand on his chin and thinks a minute.

“I want a little house on a prairie.”

“Like, the TV show?” I giggle.

He smiles.

“Not exactly. I want to get married to a beautiful person, inside and out, build a house on a large piece of land and have kids. The house I build, with my own two hands, will be in an area where there are no drill sergeants barking orders at soldiers who march by. There’ll be no planes taking off at any given hour, on a mission to God knows where. The loudest noise will be the occasional bear rooting through the trash cans or fish jumping out of the stream. And, I don't ever want to move from said house. In fact, the only way I want to leave is feet first. I want to watch my kids grow up, move out, and start their own families. Then, I want to sit on rocking chairs, with my wife, until it’s our time to part.”

Wow. I didn’t see that coming. He’s thought long and hard about this. I smile.

“What?” he says.

“I didn’t peg you for someone who fantasizes about things like that. Do you know how to build a house?”

He tips his glass and lets one of the ice cubes fall into his mouth.

“No. But, I’ll figure it out. If you want something badly enough, you’ll make it happen.”

Miss Sally places the check in front of Sebastian. I immediately reach for it, but he snatches it away before my hand gets near it.

“I don’t think so. I’m buying,” he says.

“But, it was my idea to come here.”

“Yeah, but it was my idea to come
here
.” He gestures in the air, referring to the country, whereas I was just talking about the restaurant. I roll my eyes.

“Fine. But, I get the next one.”

He smiles and winks.

“We’ll see.”

“So where to next?” I ask.

“Do you have to be anywhere right now?” I shake my head. “Okay then, how about that park with the river that runs through it that you visited when you were a kid? Can you take me there?”

“Sure, but there’s not much there. Just water and rocks.”

“I don’t mind.”

I shrug.

“Okay then. Let’s go.”

We drive along the road inside the Metropark system. The trees are in full majesty. The forest is on either side of us, as we sit quietly in the car. Everywhere the eye can see are thousands of shades of green. The sunlight twinkles through the leaf covered ceiling, and the ground is a soft carpet. The road winds and twists, seemingly to not disturb the scenery. Through my open window, I can smell the spring air. I close my eyes and inhale. The feeling is serene. I open my eyes, remembering I’m the navigator, and direct him to stop ahead.

“Pull over here. There’s a path which leads to a cliff side. We can climb down and follow the river up to the waterfall.” I say.

We exit the car and walk toward the wooden overlook.

“So, this is where you came to pretend you were stranded on a tropical island?” he asks.

I turn my head and gape at him, amazed. Yet another detail he remembered about my childhood.

“Yes.” I shake my head and smile. “You’re something else.”

“It’s a gift,” he says smiling.

We carefully make our way down toward the bottom of the ravine. The lush greenery and sounds of nature make it seem like we’re the last two people on earth. The feeling is peaceful. The ground is a bit slippery so, more than a few times, I almost slip and fall. But, Sebastian is right there beside me, his hands automatically reaching out to come to my aid. At a steep spot, he climbs down in front of me, then holds my hands and helps me step down. The touch of his hands makes me feel warm all over. When we’re finally at the bottom, we begin to walk along the riverbank.

“It’s nice down here. It makes you forget there’s a whole other world at the top,” he says, as he skips a stone across to the other shore.

“Yes. I’ve come down here a few times since my mom’s illness. It’s comforting in a way.”

“So, you and your mom were close?”

“Yes. She stayed home with me, until I was school age, then she got only a part time job, so I’d never come home to an empty house.”

“She sounds like a great mom,” he says.

My eyes start to sting at the impending tears. I need to stop them, so I change the subject.

“What about your mom? Does she work?”

“No. My dad makes enough money to support us all, without her having to work. So, tell me, what did the two of you do during your pre-school time together? Did she take you anywhere, teach you you’re A B C’s? Did you watch TV shows together?”

I’m trying to change the subject, but he keeps bringing it right back. What the hell?

“Um, I don’t remember.”

“Really?”

“Sebastian, I don’t really want to talk about her right now. Okay?”

“Okay,” he says, acknowledging my need to change the subject. “Let’s head for the falls. I want to see where you fell in and got all muddy.” I smile broadly and shake my head again. I have a feeling I’m going to be doing that a lot this week.

It takes some time, but we finally reach the water fall. The roar of the water is impressive. In all the years I’ve been coming here, it’s never run dry. I’ve always wondered what feeds it.

“It’s beautiful,” he says.

“Yes, it is.”

We stand in silence just taking in this breathtaking sight.

“I can see why you talked about this place. If I could, I’d come here every day,” he says while staring at the site. I sigh, and he touches my arm. “You okay?” I nod. “We can go if you’d like.”

“No, I’m fine. Really.”

“What are you thinking about?”

What
am
I thinking about? I’m thinking about the time my dad wanted to take my mom’s picture underneath the big boulder that jets out of the cliff. But, before he could snap the photo, Mom slid halfway down the hill on her behind, laughing all the way. My dad tried to stop her, but he fell onto his knees. They were both laughing so hard that it made me laugh too. My mom had to sit on a towel on the ride back home because her butt was so muddy. I smile at the memory, then frown because I realize that’s all it’ll ever be now, a memory. My vision blurs from the tears that well up. I turn away from Sebastian quickly. I don’t want to cry in front of him.

“Damn bugs. One flew into my eye.” I rub my eyes, trying to disguise the fact that my tears are what’s making them red. I feel a hand on my shoulder.

“Do you want to go?”

I nod. “Yes, please.”

We make our way back up to the top, back up to reality, and back up to the fact that time is precious, and so are those who share it with us.

Julia

Dear Julia,

I had a great time today. Thank you for showing me parts of your childhood. They were wonderful. I only wish I could’ve seen you, first hand, doing all the things you described to me. I know I have no right to ask, but if it’s at all possible, can we see each other again tomorrow? If not, I’ll understand. Please let me know. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I bought a burner cell phone after I dropped you off at your place. It’s really basic and already driving me crazy. My number is 216-555-9570. I can call and text, but that’s it. Sleep well, Julia, and hopefully I’ll see you soon.

Love,

Sebastian

I stare at the screen for a few minutes before fetching my phone and programing his number into my contacts. It’s not too late, so I shoot him a quick text.

I had a great time too. We’ll do it again tomorrow. Good night, sleep tight!

-J

Almost instantly, I receive a text back from him.

Don't let the bed bugs bite!

-S

I smile, lay my phone next to my bed, and settle in under my covers.

***

I kiss my dad on the cheek as I grab a piece of toast. Sebastian will be here soon to pick me up.

“Where are you two going today?” Dad asks.

“I’m not sure, why?”

“Just curious. How are you getting along?”

I shrug.

“Fine.” His brow furrows, so I feel like I should say more. “He is a wonderful guy, Daddy. You’d like him, if only you’d get to know him.”

“Mmm,” he says and I laugh.

“I know his timing is awful, but he’s really helping me keep my mind off things, like you said.”

“He can keep his mind on anything he wants, but just make sure his hands stay in his pockets.”

I kiss his forehead and roll my eyes.

“Oh, Daddy.” I smile, and head out the door.

***

Sebastian and I are walking along the trails that lead us through the woods. If there’s one thing Ohio is good for, it’s having plenty of hiking trails available. We stroll leisurely along the path as I listen to Sebastian go on about life on a military post. It’s fascinating, really. I’m glad I grew up where I did. Sebastian seems to wish the same thing for himself.

“I wish you could meet my parents. My dad is stern, but he loves us in his own way. My mom, now she’s the softer one. Every time my dad would do something to toughen us up, Mom would intervene.” He laughs. “Moms are good for that.”

“Yeah. Our families are alike in that way. My mom was always my biggest defender and cheerleader.” The thought makes me think of her, which always leads to tears. I look away from Sebastian to try to compose myself.

“You know, you don’t have to do that.”

“Do what?” I ask.

“Turn from me every time you feel like crying.”

“I’m not crying.”

“I know, but you want to. I can see it in your mannerisms.”

I look up at him.

“Like what?”

“Well, your face gets flushed, then your eyes start to sparkle. Then, you always quickly find an excuse to turn your head away from me. I can tell the things we talk about upset you because you’re thinking about your mom.”

My eyes well up again. He’s right.

“You might be right about that, but I don’t want to cry in front of you.”

He touches my elbow, halting my steps. I look at him.

“Why not?” His expression is puzzled.

I sigh heavily and look down.

“I want to have fun with you and not think about how sad my life is right now. But, every conversation seems to lead straight to her.”