Tracing Hearts (14 page)

“Wait. That wasn’t you?” He shakes his head. “Then who?”

His stony face says nothing.

“I was about to walk into a trap…” I mutter, trailing off and thinking about how much worse this could’ve ended up.

“Yes.” He nods regrettably. “I had to move fast. I knew you’d try and meet with the imposter. I arranged for Peter to drive an unmarked van and park next to your car. He put the fake note on your windshield, and well…you know the rest.”

I cover my mouth with both hands, trying desperately to understand all that I’ve just heard. I stand and begin to pace. Sebastian watches me warily. I think he’s gauging my reaction. I walk back and forth, wringing my hands, for an undetermined amount of time. I can see him from the corner of my eye. He’s nervous. Finally, I stop and turn to him.

“How did they know my dog’s name?”

He scoffs.

“That information is easy to get. Anyone with a computer could hack into your social media accounts.”

I never thought of that.

“I don’t know what to say. This is all so…overwhelming. I…I’m—”

He walks over to me, taking my hands in his.

“I know, and I’m so, so sorry, Julia. I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted this for you. I was so selfish and stupid, and now I put you in this situation. This is all my fault,” he says, letting go of me. “I should’ve stayed dead.”

I know he was never really dead but hearing those words, startles me.

“Stop it! Stop it right now. We’re in this together. Albeit, there is plenty of blame to go around, but I’m glad you didn’t stay dead. I’m glad you’re standing in front of me. You’re in trouble—
we’re
in trouble, it’s true, but there’s got to be a way to fix this.” I place both my hands on either side of his face and lift his head, so his soulful eyes are staring into mine. “If I had to go through this, I’m glad I’m going through it with you.” My eyes search his face for some sort of clue as to what he’s thinking. Then, I glance at his mouth. It looks the same as I remember and, in that moment, I’m catapulted back six years earlier. We’re no longer in a cheap hotel room. We’re walking in a park on a sunny day in springtime. I can almost hear birds chirping happily in the background.

I look up into his eyes. They’re hooded, and I’m drawn into them. His lips part fractionally, and I hear a small exhale. My breathing has become faster and more shallow, and I think he’s about to close the gap between us when, suddenly, he pulls back, shakes his head slightly, and steps back. My head swims with rejection for the second time in my life. I bow my head and swallow.

Sebastian

Apologize already.

“I’m sorry,” I say, feeling like an ass. I almost kissed her. How could I’ve been so stupid? I had her kidnapped, brought here against her will, my best friend nearly hog-tied her, and then I revealed to her that I’m not dead. Like she needs anything else to think about right now. I have to get ahold of my hormones.

“For what?” Her voice is quiet.

I shrug.

“Lots of things…everything.” I shake my head and blow out a calming breath.

“Don’t apologize. I’m sure, given the choice, you wouldn’t want to be knee deep in this. And, I know you regret my involvement, but what’s done is done. We’ll just have to make the best of it.” She’s looking at the floor, the walls, anywhere but at me. I narrow my eyes, wishing I could read her mind.

“It’s not that simple,” I say. I begin to pace the floor, focusing on our situation, thinking about every angle, and trying to get the mental picture of her perfect, rose colored lips out of my mind. I push my hands through my hair and lace them behind my head, so I won’t walk over, take her in my arms, and plant a slow, lingering kiss on them. God, Seb, get a grip!

“Why not?” She interrupts my daydream.

“Just…because. Look, we need to figure out what to do about all this. Until then, you can’t go back to your place anymore. We have to disappear.”

“What?
Why?
” she says, raising her voice.

“Because it’s not safe.”

“But, what about my things, my job? Oh, my God, what am I going to tell my family? If I just disappear, what are they going to think?” She’s beginning to panic. Her breaths come out in short bursts, and her hand combs through her hair out of desperation. I stop pacing and take a hold of her shoulders to get her attention.

“Julia. This is temporary. We only have to disappear until after the trial. After that, it’ll all be over.” She looks at me with a blank stare, and I’m not sure if any of this is sinking in. “If they find you, they’ll use you to find me. And if they find me…they’ll kill both of us.” She covers her face as it contorts, and she starts to sob. God, I feel like shit for getting her anywhere near this mess. Crushing her to me, I let her cry against my chest. I kiss the top of her head, but it does little to console her.

“I know this is a lot to take in, and I’m so sorry I pulled you into this. Please, forgive me,” I whisper. She looks up, her expression so vulnerable.

“I’m afraid,” she admits.

I gently caress her face, and I wipe away a falling tear with my thumb.

“I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

She squeezes her eyes shut, presses her lips together, and nods.

Sebastian

It’s six o’clock on Saturday morning and we’re still at the sleazy motel. I really regret being unable to bring Julia to a better place, but the truth is, no-tell motels are best, if trying to be inconspicuous is your goal. They don’t ask questions, never ask for ID and prefer cash over anything else. Since I’m not sure what the protocol is for bringing another person into the Witness Protection Program without prior notice, Julia and I opt to fend for ourselves, until I can talk to Mick Samson. Mick is my contact in the program, and a US Marshall. I’m hoping that when he finds out that Julia is now in danger too, he’ll do his best to accommodate both of us. If not, I’ll have to come up with some kind of plan B to keep her safe. And, I
will
keep her safe…at all costs.

I glance over at sleeping Julia. She’s lying on her side, almost curled up into the fetal position on the full size bed next to mine. Her light brown hair, which is still as long as I remember, is fanned out across the pillow. The bedspread is a very dated, flowered print, and she is completely wrapped up in it. All that is visible outside of the blanket is her head. I walk over to the side of my bed, closest to hers, and sit on the edge, unable to look away from the sight. She looks so peaceful. I can hear her shallow breaths, and it’s as if no other sound exists. Her long, dark eyelashes splay out on her cheekbones, which is a contrast to her fair complexion. Her full, pink lips rest gently against each other. God, I wish things were different.

Looking at her, I’m reminded of just how real this situation has become. I’m no longer in a position to make stupid mistakes. It’s not just my life I have to worry about anymore. I got her into this mess, and I’ll do whatever I have to, to get us both out of it, even if that means I have to do things I don’t want to do. My mind wanders to the possible outcomes. We could go through this and come out without incident. Mick could gladly accept Julia as an add-on into the program and after the trial, we could come back out, explain things to her dad, and live normal lives. But, I can’t help thinking it sounds too easy. The people from GA Newton are out there, and they’re not going to give up looking for me. I know how ruthless guys like this can be. They won’t care if Julia’s an innocent bystander, or what they’d have to do to her to get to me. I inhale sharply and close my eyes at the images which run through my head.
No.
I’ll figure something out.

I grab my phone and dial Mick’s number.

“Seb,” he greets me. “What can I do for you?”

“Hey, Mick. I’ve got a dilemma,” I say as quietly as I can, so not to wake Julia.

“Don’t you always?” He laughs at his own joke.

“This is serious.”

He sighs heavily. “Okay. I’m listening.”

“Remember that long talk we had about not contacting anyone from my past?”

“You didn’t,” he interrupts.

“Yes, I did. It was stupid, I know, but I couldn’t help it,” I try to explain.

“What was the first rule we discussed when I met with you?”

“Cut off all contact,” I mutter shamefully and hang my head, knowing how bad this is. “I know, Mick, and I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Well that’s an understatement. So who did you contact? Your mom? Your brother? Tell me who else is involved in this mess.”

“Julia Bessette.”

“Your childhood pen pal?” he says with a raised voice.

“Yeah,” I say, perplexed that he’d know who she is. “How do you know about her?”

“Seb. I know a lot more about you than you think. It’s my business to know who you’d be tempted to contact,” he says. “I’ll admit though, I didn’t anticipate that move.”

“So what can you do for us?”

“Us? Seb, is she with you?”

I swallow.

“Yes.”

I pull the phone away from my ear as he blasts expletives through the receiver.

“What the hell did you do? Why is she with you? Does she know you’re in the program? Did you tell her what you witnessed?”

“No! I didn’t tell her what I saw. I’m not that stupid.”

“That’s up for debate,” he mumbles petulantly.

“She knows I’m in the program and that I’m a witness to a crime, but that’s it.”

I go on to explain the recent events in detail. He doesn’t say much, but I hear a grunt or two now and then. He sighs and mumbles something under his breath, though I can’t make out exactly what it is.

“All right. What do you need from me?”

“I just need to keep her safe. I don’t care where you send us, just send us together.”

“Seb, you’re killing me, you know that? Of all the cases I’ve worked on, yours is the most challenging,” he pauses. “Give me a day or two to work something out. Until then, stay hidden. I’ll be in touch.”

Relief washes over me.

“Thanks, Mick. You know I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it was necessary.”

“Yeah, yeah, kid. I know. Just please do me a favor. Don’t invite anyone else into this thing.”

Peter instantly comes to my mind. I should probably tell Mick about him, but I’m not sure my eardrum could take it.

“I won’t. Thanks again.”

I hang up and sag into the chair.

I need to text Peter.

We’re moving out. I’ll call you later with the details.

After sending Peter the text from my burner cell phone to his, I decide a shower is a must and duck inside the bathroom. I set the temperature, step in under the sparsely flowing spray, and close my eyes. Leaning with both palms against the shower wall, I let the water soak my head and run down my body. I stand like this for some time, just thinking of where we’ll go next. I hate the fact that I have to rely on Peter so heavily. I shouldn’t have gotten him involved either. But I know, I couldn’t have done any of this without him. Peter has been a loyal friend for most of our childhood and all of our adult lives. He’s gotten me into trouble and out of it, in equal shares. Some of my most memorable moments were made with him standing next to me. I recall a time when we were living in Germany. We must’ve been fourteen or so. We’d spent several consecutive nights gathering crickets from the nearby field. There must’ve been a hundred or more. Then, one day, we snuck into the barracks while no one was around. Trying to stifle our laughter, Peter and I tip-toed inside, opened the container, and released them. The little insects hopped and scattered quickly, and so did we. The next morning, we heard numerous men talking about how loud the crickets chirped. Everyone complained about how little sleep they got. The men tried desperately to find and exterminate all of them. But, it was three days and sleepless nights before the chirping finally ceased. There was speculation as to how they got in there, but no one ever confronted us. We still laugh about that time.

Wrapped in nothing but a towel, I step out of the bathroom, and back into the sleeping quarters of our motel room. I stop abruptly. Julia is sitting on the edge of her bed with one leg crossed over the other. Upon seeing me, her mouth pops open and she blatantly stares at my half naked self. I smirk, knowing I’ve shocked her.

Julia

“Good morning. How’d you sleep?” he says, as he rubs a second, smaller towel over his damp hair.

“Um…f—fine,” I stutter, truly shocked at the sight before me. I realize this is the first time I’m seeing him with his shirt off. Holy hell. He’s got a great body. It’s obvious, from his rippling abs and hardened pectoral muscles, that he works out regularly. I notice a tattoo on his left shoulder which wraps around his upper arm. It looks tribal. I wonder if it has any special meaning.

“The shower is all yours if you want it.” He interrupts my inner musings.

“Um…yeah…okay.” Oops, caught staring. I quickly look away. “So, wha—what’s on the agenda for today?”
Pull yourself together, Julia.

“Well, I thought we’d check out, then grab some breakfast. Do you know of any good places to eat?”

“Um, yeah. There are a few of them off the beaten path. Will one of those work?” I say, looking at the wall beside him.

“Yes. That sounds perfect.”

He walks over to his bag and gathers some clothes. That reminds me.

“Sebastian?”

“Yes?” he replies.

“I’m going to need to get some clothes. I’ve been in these since Friday morning and I’m sure they’re ready to stand up on their own by now.”

“I’ve already thought of that. I had Peter pick some up for you last night. He dropped them off this morning.” He points to the duffle bag on the one and only chair in the room.

“Oh. Good. Make sure to thank him for me.”

Wow, he thinks of everything.

“You can do it yourself. We’ll see him later.”

I nod, grab the bag, and head for the shower.