Toy's Story (32 page)

Against his better judgment Logic gave me the okay to ride with Tyson in his chauffer driven Lincoln Town Car.
As Tyson mentally molested me as
I
entered the vehicle I was no longer sure that this was such a good idea.

“Stop looking at me like that.” I warned as I slid in beside him and the driver closed the door behind me.

“Like what?” He innocently grinned.

“Like I’m a hot pussy sandwich.” I responded.

Tyson laughed. “I’m sorry. It’s almost lunch time and I am a little hungry.”

“Forget it!” I countered. “Tell me about the case. What happened?”

“I will, but can we talk first?” A seriousness that I hadn’t encountered crossed Tyson’s face and caused his brow to wrinkle.

I sighed as I realized exactly what he wanted to talk about. “Sure go ahead.”

“What happened to us?”

“What? Seriously?”

“Yes, I’m very serious. What happened to us? I thought that we were good?
Now, you won’t even return my calls. What did I do, Toy?”

“You didn’t do anything.  I met Logic on Christmas Eve when I was stranded in West Virginia. We’ve been together ever since then.”

“Yeah, but I thought we were building up to something special.”

“Something special like what? I’ve known you since undergrad. Hell, for all practical purposes I’ve been your woman since undergrad. But you’ve never really acknowledged me publicly as a good friend, let alone your girlfriend. Do you have any idea how that feels?”

“Toy, I…”

“No let me finish. I added Jamar into the equation and kept you at a safe distance because I didn’t want you to break my heart when you married some homely ass white girl named
Sand
y, because that’s what your family and friends expected you to do.”

“Toy you of all people know that I’m not a racist.”

“Perhaps, but your parents and your friends are conservative enough to be misunderstood as being racist. The mere fact that you cater to that bullshit
indicates that a part of you could be.”

“That’s bullshit Toy! I’m fucking in love with you.”

“What? Please… You’re in love with how my mouth and my pussy make you feel! Don’t even try that bullshit!” I replied as I stared blankly out of the limo window wondering what could have been.

“If that’s true would I have bought you this?
Huh Zatoya
?”

As I looked back at Tyson I saw something in his gorgeous blue eyes that I never saw before, tears. In h
is h
and I caught a glimpse of something that I never once fathomed that I’d see, a stunning diamond engagement ring for me.

“What’s that?” I mumbled as I took careful inventory of a five carat, round solitaire stone set in
an intricate
platinum
setting
.

‘Marry me?” He sighed.

“When the hell did you get that and why?”

“Toy I’m in love with you. I’ve always
been in love with you. Marry me…Let’s
have some kids,
raise a family and grow old together. Fuck my parents and fuck my friends… hell fuck the world if they have a problem with it! I want you to be my wife. Marry me?”

As stunned as a farmer kicked in the head by his favorite mule I stared at Tyson. Words would no
t
come but tears started to leak uncontrollably from my eyes.

“Please don’t do this. I’m with Logic now.”

“So what? You still have feelings for me.”

“Tyson, you’re not listening. I’m in love with Logic. I’ve moved on.”

“What does any of that have to do with how you feel about me?”

“It has everything to do with how I feel about you. I’m happy. Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“I am happy for you, but you and I both know that you’d be a lot happier if you were engaged to me.”

“Says who?” I tried to laugh t
hat bullshit
off as the tears continued to rain down my face like a monsoon.

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

“Stop, please just stop.” I begged, overwhelmed and consumed by emotions for him that I had been suppressing for years.

“I will, just answer me,”

No longer having the luxury of evading the question that’s bothered me for almost seven years I conceded. “Okay
yes
I love you. So what?
Look where that has gotten me.
I’ve loved you for seven years and I still feel like your damn concubine.”

“Zatoya! How could you even say that?” Tyson asked appalled.

“Because it’s fuckin true!” I cried. “I would have never even met Logic if you had just come to pick me up when I had that accident.”

“Toy I told you that I was in Richmond at my parents.”

“I know what you told me. What I don’t know is why you weren’t in DC with me? It was Christmas Eve. People who’re in love should be together on Christmas Eve. Yet you left me stranded in Dumbfuck West Virginia at the mercy of strangers.” I screamed.

“You’re the one who insisted upon going to Dumbfuck to get that God damn deposition! I begged you to spend the night with me and take care of that bullshit later! I’ve had this ring in my damn pocket ever since that fucking night!” He yelled back.

“What?”

“Yeah, I was going to ask you to marry me that night. No, but hard headed, super Public Defender Zatoya
, defender of the
fucking
criminals of the
universe
had to go get a damn
inconsequential
deposition and fuck everything up
!
We’d be engaged by now.
Instead you’ve quit your job and moved in with a man you barely fucking know. What the fuck is wrong with you? Have you completely loss your mind?
”

Kicked in the head again by that
same
damn dumbass mule I was rendered numb.
Tyson was right. I must have bumped my head in that car accident and totally loss my damn mind. Now I’d be the first to admit that Logic is one of the finest men that God
hung a dick on
and we have been having the time of our life.
But I quit my damn job to
become a
trophy wife.
Do you have any idea what I had to sacrifice to go to Law School? What the fuck?

Besides all that
,
Logic
’s a
n extraordinar
il
y rich
celebrity and chances are
that
I’m just a novelty
toy for him
to play with until he
get
s tired of me
. Sure he said he loved me, but hell he said he loved his tuna fish
sandwich that I made him earlier today.
We’ve been together for less than three months; could this man really be head over ass in love with me like he claims to be?

“Now you’ve not only fucked up your life you’ve fucked up mine as well. I can
not
believe this fucking bullshit!
I’m about to lose my job and be disbarred because you brought this idiot con in your life.
Then
to top it all off,
you have the fucking audacity to say that I treated you like a fucking concubine. Woman I fucking adore you
!
I’ve worshipped the earth you walk on since the second I met you. And FYI neither my parents nor my friends are racist. In fact they think that I’m not good enough for you. I finally convinced them that I had my shit together enough to ask you to marry me and now you pull this bullshit!” Tyson continued to rant.

“Tyson I’m sorry.” I said as I put my hand on his knee and tried to console him.

“Oh I
agree
that you’re sorry
Toy
and you might as well add selfish
and unappreciative
to your
damn
list of attributes while you’re naming them.”
He mumbled as he
discreetly wiped the tear that fell from his eye. He star
ed
blankly
out the car window, unable to even look at me.
“I fucking can’t even believe the bullshit you’ve got me into.”

“Okay so, I deserved that.” I said as I placed my hand on his chin and turned his handsome face
back to look at me. “I apologize… for everything. I didn’t know how you felt about me. I assumed…”

“You assumed what? You assumed that because I was white that I was incapable of loving you? Is that what you assumed?
If anybody I know is a racist, it’s probably you.
”

“No, I assumed that your political aspirations would not afford you the luxury of marrying a woman like me.”

“What are you talking about? Many Senators and Presidents have been married to complete asses. What does the fact that you’re a
selfish
ass have to do with anything?” He joked.

“Okay, I guess I deserve that one t
o
o. Can you forgive me?” I asked as I stared deep into his eyes and loss myself in the depths of their blueness.

Tyson searched my face for an uncomfortable frame of time before his eyes locked on to mine and bore deep into my soul in search of
an
answer that I carefully hid from him
for
so long. “Tell me that you’re in love with me. Just once, I want to hear it from your mouth and then I’ll forgive you.”

I wanted to say it. Hell, I couldn’t even believe that I felt it
. Too many things hung on those words and I knew if I said them that I’d never be able to take them back. Yet I knew that if I didn’t say them that I’d simply be lying to both of us. What about Logic?  Would my profession of my love for Tyson somehow negate what I feel for him? I didn’t know what to say and there was no way to escape Tyson’s intense glare that held my very spirit hostage as
he
awaited the truth.

“Yes, I’m in love with you. I denied it and tried to evade it because I couldn’t see how it could ever have a happy ending. I couldn’t see a scenario where you and I would have a happy ending. So,
I
deliberately piled a mile high pile of
bullshit in between us
t
o protect myself from being hurt.  I knew sooner or later there would come a day when
you’d realize
that good sex wasn’t enough.” I admitted as tears began to leak from my eyes.

Tyson swallowed hard and I noticed a lone tear trail gently along the lines of his chiseled jaw. “Zatoya Waters, you have driven me
absolutely
insane from the first time I heard you open that
big
mouth of yours. Yet I can’t imagine being in love with anyone else but you.
Will you at least consider my proposal?”

At that very moment I realized that I never really gave Tyson a chance to explain what happened to him on Christmas Eve. Honestly this man has never said no to me or let me down. Whatever I needed he would always get it. I guess I had been treated so badly, so long by no good men that in my bitterness I just lumped all men in the same kennel. In retrospect I realized that I was wrong. Tyson was in fact a good man and
at this very moment
I realized
that I was the fuck up!
I cheated on him first with Jamar and now with Logic.

“Tyson we’ve been together for seven years why didn’t you say anything?”

“What was I suppose to say? You made it clear from the second we hooked up that you didn’t want any
thing
more. I was there for you Toy every minute of the hour and you know that. Actually, I thought one day you’d recognize that, stop all your bullshit and let me in. Now, threatened with the possibility of losing you, I no longer have the luxury of being silent. Jamar was never a threat to me. I knew he couldn’t afford you and I knew you wouldn’t settle for less than you wanted. Logic Hart though… Yeah that shit fucked me up when I found out.”

“How’d you find out about Logic?”

“I did a satellite search on your phone and then a property search on the location. I guess I should say locations. Any way it revealed the owner of the house. I probably should say the mansions. Anyway there’s not a guy on the planet who watches football who doesn’t know that name. So,
I thought I’d lost you. Then you showed up back in Baltimore at the precise time when Jamar was locked up… and I knew I had a shot and I was determined to take it. So, I’m going to ask you again will you at least take some time to consider my marriage proposal.” Tyson asked as he studied my face as if it was an intriguing
mystery novel
.
  

Now, my mind was screaming, “Hell to the
Fuckin
No!” Logic is worth over a hundred million fuckin dollars, that’s just like winning the
L
otto. Hell Nakeisha and Mookey stupid
, cheating
asses got a quarter of million dollars of
“S
tay
the hell away from m
e
!”
m
oney
from him
. Not to mention my half million dollar promise ring which I luckily decided to wear on a long chain around my neck. How can I possibly walk away from that man? Still
,
even th
ough
my mind was screaming loudly
tell him no, my heart surprisingly was singing a different song. Without warning my head begin to slowly nod yes. To my utter shock that
slow nod quickly turned into an affirmative
yes
as Tyson
wiped the corners of my eyes and kissed me on the forehead.