Toxic Bad Boy (17 page)

We sat in a booth across
from each other. She reached out to hold my hand. I went with it
even though it felt wrong, as if my hand was rejecting the person
it belonged to.

“
I’ve never dated a guy
younger than me, but there’s this connection between us,” she said.
Two years wasn’t that big of a deal. The age difference between me
and Claudette had been larger. Not that the relationship with
Claudette had been
dating
. More like banging as often
as possible.

“
I’ve dated older,” I
assured her.

“
See! There’s something
about you that’s so much more mature than other guys. It shows in
your paintings.”

Nobody had said that about
them before. Perhaps she was seeing what she wanted. The waiter
showed up with drinks and took our order. While we waited for our
food, Norah asked lots of questions about my art. I was impressed
by her knowledge of art history. She knew more than me, for
sure.

“
What are you planning to
do after high school?” she asked between bites. “Art
school?”

“
I’m not sure yet.” I’d
planned on going to college wherever Gianna did. Now, who knew?
Maybe I’d skip college altogether.

“
How about you? Do you
plan to get your masters?”

“
I haven’t decided. It
depends on how I feel about it when the time comes and what’s going
on in my personal life.” Her eyes held mine and I suspected she was
hoping I’d be her personal life.

I changed the subject. “Do
you want to see a movie?”

“
I don’t know what’s out
right now. Did you have one in mind?”

“
No. We could pick
whichever one starts soonest after we get there.”

“
Sounds good.”

I paid the bill, grabbing
her hand to lead her out of the restaurant. No matter the past with
Gianna or what the future held, I’d live in this moment, with this
girl. At least she wasn’t in love with someone else. Tonight, she’d
chosen
me
.

We got tickets to a comedy
I’d never heard of, picking seats in the back row. On a Monday
night the theater was practically empty. Ten minutes into the
movie, I realized the film had probably bombed at the box office.
It was complete crap.

Fifteen minutes into the
movie, we were making out.

Thirty minutes into the
movie, Norah was on my lap.

By the time the movie was
over, I’d fingered her to orgasm.

She’d wanted to blow me,
but I’d insisted we wait until we got back to her apartment. Her
roommate hadn’t waited up and I followed Norah into her bedroom. It
was decorated in different shades of purple and gray. Lights strung
up above her headboard were already lit.

She slowly began stripping
off her dress. I’d seen her tits in the dark theater, but the view
now was even better in the glow of her room. Like her ass, they
weren’t as perfect as Gianna’s, but I’d enjoyed sucking on them
earlier.

A memory of another
striptease flashed through my mind, causing an actual physical ache
in my chest. I shoved it away with everything other thought of the
girl I loved who didn’t love me back.

Norah’s panties were next
and I saw the landing strip I’d only felt with my fingers earlier.
The hair was dark and I couldn’t help wishing it were
blond.

Stop thinking of
Gianna!

She sauntered closer,
still in her heels, still having a great walk. Her fingers worked
on the buttons of my shirt, giving my chest little kisses. Her
silky hair brushed against my arms.

The wrong
color!
, my mind screamed.

The wrong
girl!
, my heart joined in.

My cock didn’t care. It
hadn’t felt anything but my hand since last October. I slipped off
my shoes as Norah’s hands moved to my belt. “You’re so hot,
Caleb.”

It was polite to return
the compliment. “So are you.”

“
I’m so glad we met,” she
said, smiling up at me.

Her smile was too wide.
Her lips not full enough. Her eyes not blue.

A soft hand reached inside
my pants.

“
Wait!”

She stopped, green eyes
questioning. “What’s wrong?”

“
Nothing,” I assured her,
pulling away and picking my shirt up off the carpet. “I
just....”

“
What?” She picked up her
dress, holding it over her nakedness.

“
I think we should wait,”
I eventually said, not wanting to tell her the real reason for my
hesitation.

Her face relaxed, her eyes
shining with emotions I couldn’t return. “You are so awesome,
Caleb. We don’t have to wait, but it would be more special,
right?”

Yeah, I’m really awesome
for not having sex with you while pretending you were the girl I
really wanted. “I should go.”

“
Okay,” she whispered on a
grin. “Call me tomorrow?”

I kissed her, feeling like
a jerk. “Of course.”

She walked me to the door,
accepting another kiss as goodbye.

I got in my car and just
sat there for a long time.

It would get
better.

If not with Norah, then
I’d move on with some other girl.

Gianna couldn’t own me
forever.

Norah was a great girl.
Pretty, interesting, sweet, even if she was aware of all those
things. There were lots of girls out there.

But none of them were as
perfect for me as my Gianna.

Gage’s
Gianna
, I reminded myself harshly. She
didn’t belong to me anymore.

I read her text message
from earlier,
I’m sorry I hurt
you.

Then make it go
away!

I was fooling myself if I
thought I could ever get over her. She did own me forever, had
carved her name into my heart.

And just how I’d always
known it would be if I lost her, I couldn’t fucking
breathe
without
her.

For the first time, I allowed myself to cry over the loss of
air.

“
Sometimes when we are
generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone
else’s life forever.”

-Margaret Cho

GIANNA

My dad and I were eating
the casserole I’d made Thursday night when his cell phone rang.
“Don’t know who this is,” he muttered before answering.

His expression went alert
as he listened to whoever was on the other line and he shot out of
his chair. “Where did you say?”

I set my fork down, my
heart racing. Something was very wrong for my normally calm dad to
act this way.

“
I’m on my way.” He hung
up, running a shaky hand through his hair. “We have to get to the
hospital. Your mom and Chance were in an accident.”

I grabbed my purse from
the entry table in the foyer and hurried behind my dad into the
garage to his car. “Are they all right?”

He peeled out of the
driveway seconds later. “Your mom was okay enough to ask a nurse to
call me, but I’m worried because she didn’t call me
herself.”

We didn’t speak most of
the way to the hospital, each freaking out in our own head. And it
was a long time to worry. The hospital was closer to my mom’s house
and it took over a half hour to get there on the
freeway.

My dad dropped me off
outside the emergency room. I would find out where they were and
what was going on while he parked the car. I pounced on the first
nurse I ran across. “I need to find my mom and brother.”

She pointed to the triage
desk. “They’ll tell you over there.”

The two nurses sitting
behind the desk were busy, so I slapped a palm down on the counter
to get the closest one’s attention. “My mom and brother were in a
car accident.”

“
Names?” she asked
sedately, as if I’d just ordered a fucking Happy Meal.

“
Julie Morrison and Chance
Thorpe.”

Long fingernails clicked
on the keyboard while her eyes slowly scanned the computer screen.
I felt like yelling,
Hurry the heck
up!

Click. Click. CLICK.
CLICK! CLICK!!!!

“
Please. Are they
okay?”

Her lips pursed. “Julie
Morrison has been taken for an MRI. Radiology is on the second
floor.”

My dad slid to a halt at
my side, barking at the nurse, “Chance Thorpe?”

Behind her glasses, her
eyes rolled to him, then back to the screen in front of her. After
a slow series of clicks, she said, “He’s been moved to the
pediatric ward. Third floor.”

“
That was fast,” my dad
muttered, guiding me to the nearest elevator and stabbing at the
button impatiently.

“
I want to check on your
brother and then I’ll meet you in radiology.”

I’d planned on heading to
pediatrics first. I loved my mom but that was my baby brother who
was possibly hurt. “How about I check on mom and meet you in
pediatrics?”

He nodded, taking a deep
breath. I got off on the second floor, following the signs and
arrows to radiology. If my mom’s injuries were serious, I’d have my
dad come down to speak with the doctor. My flip flops slapped
against the white linoleum floor. I turned a corner, seeing Scott
where he sat bent over in obvious worry.

“
Scott.”

My mom must have asked
them to call him. I hadn’t thought of it, more concerned on getting
information about their conditions. His head came up. “Gianna,
you’re here. The hospital said they’d called your dad. They’re
giving her an MRI.”

I sat in the seat next to
him, slipping my hand into his. “What happened?”

“
Accident on the freeway
when she was driving your brother to his karate class. A few other
cars were involved, one of them flipped.”

“
What have the doctors
said about her and Chance?” It surprised me Scott was here near my
mom instead of with Chance.

“
Caleb is with Chance
upstairs.”

Oh
,
so I’d be seeing him soon. I was
glad he was there for my little brother, but my heart raced with
knowledge of his proximity.

“
The police say the car is
totaled. Another car smashed into Chance’s door where he sat in the
back and then your mom’s car hit a divide.”

I sucked in a breath. “I
need to get up there with my dad.”

“
His right leg is broken.
Your mom’s head slammed against the driver window, shattering it
along with the impact, and she has abrasions on her face from the
airbag.”

“
Otherwise her and Chance
are okay?” It sounded as if we could have lost them

He shrugged, running his
free hand through his hair, green eyes worried. “Chance should be
fine, but your mom’s head injury was severe. She was knocked out
for a few minutes at least and the doctor says she was still
disoriented when they brought her in.”

I was torn between rushing
upstairs to see my brother and waiting here to find out what shape
my mom was in. My fingers brushed away the tears that were quickly
replaced by new ones.

“
Go,” Scott urged. “Check
on Chance and I’ll let you know when they’re done with your
mom.”

I nodded, giving him a
quick hug before hurrying to the nearest elevator. I pushed the
button for the third floor and the doors slid shut, only to open
moments later. A sign posted across from the elevator pointed me to
the left for the pediatric ward.

I had to make another left
at a corner and arrived at the nurse’s station. The woman behind
the desk was in her mid-twenties and wore Mickey Mouse scrubs, her
curly brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. I hadn’t thought to
get Chance’s room number before now. “Excuse me?”

She looked up from the
cell phone in her hand. “How can I help you?”

Her polite smile strangely
calmed me. “I don’t know the room number for Chance
Thorpe.”

Comprehension washed over
her face. “Oh yes, you’re dad said you’d be up. Room
348.”

“
Thank you,” I managed to
get out before taking off past her to scan the numbers posted
outside the doors.

The door stood ajar, a hum
of conversation drifting out. Hearing Caleb’s and Chance’s voices
talking about a video game brought me both relief and anxiety.
Relief that my brother sounded fine despite broken bones and
anxiety that I’d have to face the ex-boyfriend who hated
me.

My dad saw me first where
I paused in the doorway. “Gianna.”

Giving him what was
probably more a grimace than a smile, I brushed past my dad to the
side of Chance’s hospital bed not taken up by my ex. I avoided
Caleb’s eyes, leaning down to squeeze my baby brother in a hug.
“You scared me, sweetie.”

When I pulled back, Chance
wore a goofy grin. “Did you see my leg?”