Toxic (5 page)

“God, yes,” she whispered hoarsely. “It’d be even better if you come all over me or fill me and then plug me and keep your come inside me all night.”

Christ, I had to stop for a moment at her words. Her words alone could’ve made me come. She knew exactly what I liked. I hadn’t plugged her after coming in a while, but she clearly still remembered.

Once I got myself back under control, I started moving again, then stopped and pulled out.

“Roll over.”

She did as I instructed, raising her ass while keeping her chest on the bed.

Instead of spreading her legs, I kneeled on the outside of them and with a hand on her lower back forced her to lean forward until her stomach was barely off the bed. Then I aligned my cock with her entrance and sank deep again. I thrust hard enough that it forced her all the way down onto the bed.

The new position allowed me so deep into her at a new angle we groaned in unison. I kissed along her shoulder until I got to the column of her neck. Sucking hard, I left a bruise on her skin as a reminder of who owned her.

While I enjoyed getting deeper, it also took away the last of my control and I rutted against her hungrily, chasing my orgasm as she moaned louder and louder with her own growing closer with every thrust of my hips.

“Oh… I’m going… to…” Alix grew tense under me as a long, low sound left her lips and her pussy clamped even harder around me.

“Shit. Yes,” I barked out harshly as come was yanked out of my dick to shoot deep into Alix. I continued to buck against her as strand after strand left me. It felt like it would never end and by the time my cock stopped spasming, my balls hurt.

“Wow,” Alix breathed softly beneath me.

I started to move off her since I was fully lying on her, but she grabbed my hands and instead brought me closer with my arms wrapped around her.

“I love having you so close,” she said.

“I love you,” I said nuzzling my face into her hair.

“I love you more.”

That just wasn’t possible, but I let her think what she wanted to.

Chapter Five

~Alix~

A week passed in the hell I’d come to refer to as work. While I was John’s submissive, I’d never felt so out of control and in need of someone to take care of me as I had since all my clients were jumping ship. John had been so great about taking care of me and doing his best to support me in every way possible, but every day my guilt grew for being so dependent upon him

I felt like I was taking away time that he should’ve spent with his clients and taking care of his own business instead of holding my hand while I had numerous panic attacks. Finally I decided I needed to stop, so when I felt a panic attack coming on while at work, instead of calling him, I pulled up a website I hadn’t used in over six months.

Once I requested to be connected to a counselor, it took a few minutes before I was surprisingly connected to the same one I seemed to always get.

Counselor21:
Well, hello. Been a long time.

BadKitty2:
Yes, things had been going so well.

Counselor21:
But they aren’t any longer? What has changed?

BadKitty2:
Trouble at work.

Counselor21:
Does this have to do with your addiction?

BadKitty2:
…

Counselor21:
Well, let me ask you this then. In the time that you have been away, have you had compulsions to masturbate?

BadKitty2:
No. Well, yes, but I’ve not acted on them.

Counselor21:
And now?

BadKitty2:
They’ve gotten worse. I haven’t given in, but there are times when I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself.

Counselor21:
And have you given in at all? Even once?

BadKitty2:
…

BadKitty2:
Yes.

Counselor21:
Have these times been at work? Or with the man you are seeing?

BadKitty2:
The times I’ve done it with my partner wasn’t compulsion. It was… different. The times that felt like I had no control over it were at work when the stress was the worst.

Counselor21:
Have you admitted your addiction to the man you are seeing? Or the fact that you are struggling with it again recently?

BadKitty2:
Uh… I don’t think I’ve told him straight out, but I think he knows I have some… issues. We have a very… complex relationship.

Counselor21:
How do you think he’d take knowing you are giving into you addiction even if he didn’t previously know about it?

BadKitty2:
Not well. He simply wouldn’t be happy about the fact that I was touching myself since he’s told me not to without his permission before. Add in that it’s something I normally struggle with and I’m sure he’d blow his lid over it.

Counselor21:
Permission? Does he control you?

BadKitty2:
…

BadKitty2:
Not in any way I don’t want him to. He’s the biggest reason I’ve gotten such a good hold on everything. While he controls certain aspects of our relationship, he also helps me become a stronger woman.

Counselor21:
Are you happy?

BadKitty2:
Of course.

Counselor21:
As long as you are happy, then I can’t see anything wrong if it is helping you beat your addiction.

Counselor21:
Now back to how this conversation started. The anxiety and stress of your job seems to be triggering you. Is it possible to quit or find a new job?

BadKitty2:
Are those really the only two options? That’s the same things my boyfriend says. I’d like to think I can see it through and turn things around.

Counselor21:
But is the harm it causes you personally worth it? It’s not your own business, yes? So leaving for another job that isn’t triggering you might be for the best.

BadKitty2:
No, it’s not my business, but it is a job that I’ve put a lot into and leaving just because of this small thing seems… petty. I feel like I need to get thicker skin and tough it out.

Counselor21:
It’s not petty when it puts your health, both mental and physical in danger. There are things that are more important than being a good employee.

BadKitty2:
What about paying bills? Is money not important?

Counselor21:
Can your boyfriend not help support you? Even if only temporarily.

BadKitty2:
That’s not the point.

Counselor21:
Maybe it is. Is your pride getting in the way? Are you too proud to accept help from the man who loves you? Are you too proud to admit that you need help? That you can’t do everything alone?

BadKitty2:
I don’t know. That’s asking a lot.

Counselor21:
Well, maybe that's what you need to be thinking about more than the stress at work.

BadKitty2:
Maybe you are right.

I logged off quickly before the counselor could respond. Whoever the counselor was, they only pissed me off. However, I found myself going through the online conversation repeatedly during the day instead of worrying about the cancels and no-shows.

It wasn’t until I’d run through it about a dozen times that I realized that I’d never told them I was seeing someone, let alone a man who could provide for me enough to quit my job. They’d pointed out the same things that John always came back to, which was a bit eerie. However, they’d managed to plant the seed more firmly than John ever had that maybe I needed to quit just to get out of the situation that was making me want to masturbate when I hadn’t felt that way in over six months.

Shaking off the strange encounter with the counselor, I tried to focus on my job once more, reaching out to customers I’d worked with in the past but who hadn’t scheduled an event recently. Thankfully most of the customers that were still scheduled showed up, however, it also meant I had hours between appointments sometimes. I spent the rest of the day cold-calling people and praying it’d help fill some of the emptied spots for the upcoming week. It didn’t.

The only good thing that had come out of the talk with the counselor was that it had helped me avoid a meltdown. I was so off-kilter from it that the conversation had distracted me completely from the overwhelming panic.

And it had worked... until I was leaving for the day.

Just as I walked out the door to head over to John’s office, I was harshly bumped from behind. I glanced over my shoulder to see who had done it so I could give them a look, but I stumbled and hit the wall with my back when I saw it was Mariah. Leaning against the wall for support, I met her angry glare.

She smiled sickly as she stepped closer, forcing people to swerve around us.

“Well, well. Look who I happened to
bump
into,” Mariah said, taking another small step toward me.

Part of me wanted to wither in her anger but knowing that she was slightly psychotic from my previous encounters with her, I simply wanted to make her go away.

“What do you want Mariah?” I asked her calmly.

“You know what I want,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“I don’t.” I scrunched my eyebrows together. Was she still coming after John? He hadn’t said she was hanging around, but I couldn’t think of any other reason she would be cornering me on the street.

“Yes, you do. He’s mine,” she hissed, shoving me backwards.

“John? I think it’s his choice who he wants to be with. Neither you nor I can make that choice for him,” I tried to reason with her.

“If you were out of the picture, he would come back to me,” she said, leaning close so that our faces were only inches apart. “Why don’t you just leave him?”

“Because I love him.” The words were out of my mouth before I even had to think about how to answer.

“I love him more. I can give him what he needs. You can’t,” she growled.

“How would you know? Are you in the bedroom when we are together?” I asked, trying desperately to keep my own temper under control.

“Trust me. I know and so will everyone else soon enough,” she said, and with one final glare she turned and disappeared in the crowds of people moving about on the sidewalk.

I leaned my head back against the wall and sucked in a few deep breaths to regain my composure. The bitch was crazy, no doubt about it. Too bad I didn’t know how to get her to move on from John. She unnerved me more than scared me. She didn’t seem to get that he didn’t want her anymore, or if she did, she simply ignored it.

After a few moments, I pushed off the wall and made my way to John’s office. I greeted April, who waved to John’s cracked office door letting me know he was expecting me.

Sticking my head in, I slowly opened the door and couldn’t help but smile when he looked up expecting to see April, but his face completely changed and a smile of his own spread over his face when he spotted me.

“Precious,” he said, rolling his chair back from his desk.

I dropped my purse on his desk and sat in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. It was my favorite place to be. In his arms. In his lap. Surrounded by his strength and comforting touch.

“What’s wrong?” he asked after a moment.

“Well, I just saw Mariah. Seems she hasn’t given up on her mission of getting you back,” I said, followed by a long, slow exhale. “You’re the psychiatrist — tell me, why is she so crazy?”

“If I knew, I’d happily bring you in on the secret and make her go the hell away.” He sighed and held me tighter.

I could easily tell he was as frustrated with the situation as I was.

“Maybe I need to have a little visit with her to get her to see reality,” he said even as he shook his head. “However, with her, who knows? It might only egg her on more.”

That thought made my insides cramp. I didn’t want him and her anywhere together, let alone somewhere private and alone. Not that I doubted him or thought anything would happen, I just didn’t like that she’d be getting what she wanted — to see him and have him all to herself for any amount of time.

“Let’s go home, Precious,” he said, standing and carefully setting me on my feet.

“Are you done for the day?” I asked. I’d only expected to drop in and give him a kiss before going home.

“I am now. I can move patients around. This is more important right now.” Clasping my hand in his, he pulled me toward the door as I still tried to protest.

“But… You need to work…” I said as I followed him with halting steps.

He stopped and spun around to face me at the same time he kicked the door closed with his foot.

“Are you pushing me? I said it was time to go.” His voice was hard. It was his dom voice and I immediately straightened my shoulders.

“No, sir,” I said, bowing my head.

“I think you were. You seem to think that I can’t handle the Mariah situation. You don’t believe me when I say things will work out at work. I think it is more than time for a punishment for constantly second-guessing me.” He took off his suit jacket and placed it on the hook on the back of the door before pocketing his cufflinks. Rolling up his sleeves, he stepped closer to me.

I knew I was indeed in need of a punishment since I had questioned his dominance and tried taking control of situations he said he’d take care of or doubted that he would do as he said. As his submissive, I’d basically spit on his dominance and that wasn’t acceptable.

“I’m sorry, sir,” I whispered breathily.

“Fine.” He shrugged off my apology because we both knew it wouldn’t be enough. “Bend over my desk. Drop your skirt before you do so.”

I unzipped my bottoms and let them slide down around my ankles, revealing my thigh-highs and garter belt. Then I did as instructed, folding my arms under my head and rested my forehead on them.

“Three for questioning me. Three for not trusting me. One to make sure it sinks in,” he said, moving to stand next to me. “Count. Lose count and I’ll start all over.”

The first slap landed on my left cheek and made me yelp as heat blossomed from the impact.

“One, sir,” I said before biting on my lip in anticipation of the next one.

The second one landed on my right cheek and was equally hard and painful, but I managed to contain the sound of pain that wanted to escape.

“Two, sir,” I groaned. This was definitely a punishment spanking, not a pleasure one. There was nothing sensual or playful about it. Simply a lesson being taught.

Three and four landed on top of the first two and I counted for him. When the fifth landed over the sore spot that had endured two spankings already I couldn’t hold back my scream.

“Five, sir,” I gasped as a tear ran down my cheek. This one was harder than the other ones and hurt exponentially more because of the already-heated skin it landed on.

Another one on the opposite side and I cried out again fighting the urge to wiggle my hips in the hope it’d help alleviate the burning pain in my ass.