Toxic (24 page)

“I think I said no, but I’m not sure.”

“Why would you say no? Not because of Dawson, I hope.”

I shook my head. “So many reasons. He’s just one.”

Her mouth drew into a thin line. “Do you love Jeremy?”

It was the first time she’d called him by name—and for that matter, Dawson as well.

“That’s just it, I feel like I do.”

“And he loves you?”

“I’m not sure, but it’s way too early to bring it up.”

The waitress set our plates on the table with our check and scurried off. It wasn’t that busy in the restaurant but she was the only waitress.

Mrs. Bardot picked up the pepper. “Time doesn’t dictate love. And I’ve seen the chemistry between the two of you. The spark that’s there was never evident with Dawson.”

I broke my yolk with the fork. “I know.”

“Then you have to embrace this time. Run with it. Tell him how you feel. Life is too short not to.”

I stared at her for the longest time, reading into her words what she wasn’t telling me:
Don’t make the same mistake I did or you might end up like me—alone.

•   •   •

My apartment was an absolute wreck.

I’d been in and out all week and hadn’t cleaned it up in more than two weeks. Needless to say, I was never so happy to have my mother call to tell me her stylist at John Barrett was running behind. She asked if I would meet her at BG’s.

Bergdorf Goodman’s modern interpretation of the social salon was always my mother’s favorite place to dine. Located on the seventh floor, the restaurant showed more evidence than any other floor that the stately building had once been the Vanderbilt mansion. For some reason, it still held on to its cosmopolitan glamour.

Poppy and I had been lunching there for as long as I could remember. And I had to admit, I did love it there too. The bright atmosphere and light menu, plus a view of the park, made dining there with my mother actually fun. And of course, every lunch was followed by a shopping spree. Although, to my surprise, today my mother skipped that part of our once-valued tradition.

In fact, she was so preoccupied during our lunch that I didn’t even tell her about the nightclubs or Jeremy. She asked me a few questions about work and then as soon as we finished our salads, she left under the guise of a migraine. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I could only guess she was beginning to realize just how little money we had left.

Jeremy had called me as promised, but I was with Mrs. Bardot and promised to call him when I returned from lunch. As I entered my apartment building, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called him.

“Hey, I’m sorry it took me so long to call you back. But I’m back from lunch with Poppy and can talk now.”

“Good, because I’m right behind you.”

Jack was just opening the door for me when I whipped around. Jeremy was getting out of a cab with a suit bag in one hand and a duffel bag in the other.

I shoved my phone in my purse and walked toward him.

He kissed me. “Hi, perfect timing.”

I looked down at his stuff. “Hi. What are you doing?”

He put his duffel bag in the same hand as the suit bag and grasped my fingers. “I thought I’d come over early so we could talk and since I’d already be here, I figured I’d just get ready at your place.”

Jack opened the door again. “Did you now?” I teased.

He stopped just inside the lobby. “But if you’d rather I get dressed down here, that’s fine too.”

I pulled his hand. “Come on. I was thinking of a movie and a nap.”

We got on the elevator and his eyes swept me. Before I knew it, he dropped his belongings and pushed me up against the wall. My pulse started to race. His mouth was on my throat and his hands were skimming up and down my derriere.

I’d worn a wool dress and the fabric was thick. I knew he couldn’t feel what he was searching for.

“I’m up for a movie and a nap after you show me what’s underneath your clothes.”

Arousal flooded between my thighs. “I thought you wanted to talk first.”

He pressed himself against me. “I changed my mind.”

The doors opened and I couldn’t get inside my apartment fast enough. He dropped his things once more and I did the same. We didn’t say anything. The only communication was the heat in our eyes.

I kicked my boots off and unzipped my dress. Letting it fall to the ground, I stood before him in only my bra and a pair of socks.

His eyes simmered in appreciation. I had done what he asked even though I didn’t know if I’d see him before the evening. As soon as he saw me, his hands were on me and my body was humming. He cupped my sex and groaned when he felt how wet I already was. I reached for his jeans and without even undoing them I shoved my hands down his pants and started stroking.

“Oh fuck,” he muttered as his fingers started to move.

In.

Out.

Pressure.

Pleasure.

“Oh God, Jeremy,” I called as I came lightning fast standing in the foyer of my apartment.

He started to lower us both to the floor but I flattened my palm to his chest and dropped to my knees. I unzipped his pants and pulled them down slightly. When I did, his erection jutted out. I licked my lips as I looked up at him. His eyes caught me, and in response, he gave himself a few strokes with a practiced hand. I knew then that at some point, I wanted to watch him make himself come.

“Fuck,” he said again through gritted teeth as I sheathed him with my mouth. His hands went in my hair and he pushed his hips forward to go even farther into my eager mouth. I let him guide me.

I chose to get on my knees in front of him and I was relishing how much pleasure he found in it. I licked him, sucked him, and took him deep. This wasn’t about teasing, this was about pleasure, plain and simple. And just as he had delivered it to me, I was going to do the same for him. I fucked him with my mouth, using my lips, teeth, and tongue and it wasn’t long before I heard his guttural grunt, felt his body tense, and then tasted the salty sweetness of his release.

He pulled me up. “Fuck, what a way to say hi,” he told me as he buried his head in my neck.

“Well, actually, that was my way of saying yes.”

He pulled back. “Yes, you’ll move in with me.”

I nodded. “Next month, when my lease is up. Until then maybe we could stay here more often?”

He kissed me. “I’ll stay wherever you want to stay. Fuck, if you want me to move in here instead of us living at my place, we could do that too.”

I looked around. I did love my apartment but it was so much smaller than his place, it just didn’t make sense. And then there was the reason I was moving out to begin with—the steep rent.

“I can pay the rent, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No, I’m not sure. Where would you work then? And your place is so much closer to your clubs.”

He pulled me to my room. “Think about it. I’ll live wherever you’re living. Now get dressed and let’s watch a movie. We can figure out the logistics later.”

Once I’d thrown on some sweatpants and a T-shirt, we both climbed into my bed. Then Jeremy pulled me to his chest. “We’re a good team, you know.”

I lifted my head in question.

“We fit together well.”

I threw him a saucy look.

He smiled a rueful grin. “Not like that.”

My heartbeat went sky high but I contained the effect he had on me and raised a sensual brow.

“Well, yes like that, but I mean in business. We work well together.”

I relaxed back down against his chest and murmured, “We do,” before hitting
PLAY
on the remote. It meant a lot to me that Jeremy valued my opinion when it came to business decisions. He’d confided in me about his plans for Jet Set and we had even discussed the best ways to grow membership as well as which cities would be ideal targets when he was ready to expand. I pondered our business savvy as he drew shapes on my back but when the movie started, I dedicated my attention to
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
.

Sometime during the movie, we must have fallen asleep because a pounding on my door woke me up. “Stay here, it’s probably Mrs. Bardot wanting to see her dress on me. I’ll just tell her I’ll come by before we leave.”

“Sounds good,” he mumbled as he covered his head with the pillow. All the sex we’d been having was probably wearing him out. I knew it was me.

I opened my door to find Lily standing there.

“I kissed a girl,” she announced.

I simply blinked at her.

“And he liked it.”

I stepped aside for her to enter. “Preston?”

She traipsed over to the couch and flopped herself down. “Yes, Preston.”

I pulled a blanket off the back of the sofa and sat in the chair. “I thought you weren’t having sex?”

“We weren’t. That’s the point.”

“Lily, I’m just waking up. Help me out a little.”

She covered her face in her hands as she spoke. “After I got off the phone with you, I went to go find Preston. It was late and he wasn’t in his room. When I called him, he told me he was in the hotel bar. I went down there to find him sitting with a French woman who didn’t even speak English.”

I was confused. “What was he doing with her?”

“I asked him the same thing. He told me it was nothing. That he was just sitting with her. I asked why and he told me he had overheard my conversation with you and felt bad that I was feeling sexually frustrated. Well hello, I told him, he could fix it.”

I grimaced.

“At least I wasn’t sitting in the hotel bar staring at a dude like I might fuck him.”

“Is that what he had planned?”

“No! That’s when he told me he’d never cheat on me. She was for me, for us, not him. And then he asked me to kiss her.”

“And you did?”

“Yes, I did, to prove a point to him. I wanted him to know I was sick of this no sex thing and if he wanted me to show him just how sick of it I was, I would. So I brought her to our room and we sat on the couch and I kissed her. Then I stood up and looked at him and asked him if I’d proven to him how much I wanted him now.”

I pulled my legs up under my chin. “And he said what exactly?”

“That he wanted me to kiss her again.”

The situation wasn’t at all funny, but I had a hard time not laughing. It was just so unbelievable. “So what did you do?”

“Packed my stuff and left him there to stare at her as I caught the next flight back to New York City.”

“Did you ever think he might have a mechanical problem and was looking for a way to . . . you know.” Jeremy was standing in my bedroom doorway looking yummy, all sleepy and crumpled.

Lily’s eyes shot to his. “To get it up?”

Jeremy cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

She looked at him, deep in thought. “Why would he have a problem like that? He never has before.”

Jeremy shrugged. “Stress, medication, I’m really not sure. I’ve just heard it happens.”

“We have been under a lot of stress,” she admitted.

Jeremy walked toward me and put his hands on my shoulders, massaging them.

I sighed and leaned forward.

“St. Claire, focus on me.”

I laughed. I had really missed her. “You need to talk to him. Ask him about it.”

“What if he says yes? Then what? I have sex with a girl to see if he can get off?”

“Men do like girl on girl action.”

I cranked my head around. “Jeremy!” I scolded.

“I’m just being honest.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. He raised his palms. “Not me of course.”

Lily jumped up. “I have to run. I have to talk to Preston and find out what’s going on. I’ll call you,” she yelled as she slammed my door.

“What if that’s not the problem?” I asked Jeremy.

He plopped on the couch. “At least it will get them talking.”

“That’s true.” I moved over to lie on top of him and then we both closed our eyes.

We woke with little time to spare before the event.

I showered while Jeremy shaved and put on my makeup while he showered. We moved around my bathroom with the synchronization of an older married couple.

I started to dry my hair while he got dressed and when I flipped my hair over, my eyes landed on him.

There he stood in a black tux with a white lapel, black shirt, and bow tie. He looked utterly dashing. My heart swelled. He was mine. He didn’t have to tell me he loved me for me to feel it in my soul.

The fabric of my strapless gown was thick enough that I didn’t have to wear anything beneath it. I made a show out of slipping out of my robe and pulling it up, completely naked underneath it.

Jeremy came behind me and zipped me up. “I could get used to this,” he said. “But there’s this little issue.” He rubbed his semierect cock against me and I felt my body tingle.

I turned around to face him. “We have to go.”

He pressed into me. “I know.”

“Do you think too much sexual chemistry could be harmful?”

He laughed. “Are you kidding?”

“No. We’re exhausted. Horny as hell. And can’t go twelve hours without having to rip our clothes off.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

I shrugged.

“Is this what you were talking about this morning?”

“Yes, partly.”

“I don’t see it as a problem at all but if it will make you feel better, I’m sure I can keep my hands to myself.”

I had to think about that for a minute. It was not exactly what I wanted but truthfully, I didn’t know what I was after.

He smirked at me in a knowing way.

I put my hands on my hips. “Okay, prove it. Make it through the night without having to take me before we get home.”

He held out his hand. “What do I get if I do?”

I shook it. “Me.”

He tugged me toward me. “I think I get you either way.”

“True.” I smiled.

He raised a brow.

I shrugged. “Isn’t that enough?”

“Always,” he whispered in my ear.

Butterflies took flight in my belly. I wanted to tell him I loved him but instead said, “Now come on, we have to go. Jamie and Lindsay are waiting in the limo downstairs.”

A Sex Tape

Gotham Hall always reminded me of a Batman movie.

And as the four of us passed through the filigree brass doors and stepped onto the inlaid marble floor, it didn’t disappoint. I also couldn’t help but think the place looked like a casino that had been plucked right out of one of the finest hotels in Las Vegas and dropped into Gotham Hall with a little bit of intrigue that could have come from the bat cave with its dark spotlights.

Unfortunately, Cat Woman with the ruby lips wasn’t far away.

“Jeremy,” Avery greeted as she threw her arms around him and kissed him right on the mouth. “I just got back from Miami. The deal is done. I’m the official owner of the Ballroom.” She winked. “And Nate Hanson was a dream to work with.”

My stomach dropped; we had just barely crossed the threshold and she was already throwing herself at him.

It was going to be a long night.

“Phoebe,” she said in turn, as she looked me up and down. “Gorgeous dress. I haven’t seen that at any of the runway shows this season.”

I ignored her attempted dig. I knew the dress was spectacular. “It’s vintage,” I said and glanced around. “And you’ve outdone yourself.”

“I know. This is the best year yet. Wait until you see some of the things I have planned to make the evening even more exciting.”

“I can hardly wait,” I lied.

Jeremy tugged on my hand and moved us forward toward her brother.

I itched to wipe her lipstick from his mouth but I kept my hands at my sides.

Then I heard Avery say, “James, I haven’t seen you in so long. What happened to your hair?”

I could tell she didn’t care for it. It was too bad he didn’t shave his head when she was pursuing him.

“It was time for a change,” was his clipped response.

I wished I could have seen her face.

“Mitzi,” she exclaimed. “You look lovely. Is that VS?”

“It’s Lindsay,” Jamie corrected.

And really, Avery knew her name as well as she knew she wasn’t wearing something from the Victoria’s Secret catalog.

“It’s Cavalli,” Lindsay’s meek voice responded.

“Of course, I saw it on the rack at Bergdorf’s. I completely forgot.”

I rolled my eyes. I would have to tell Lindsay to ignore Avery’s jabs because they never stopped. And besides, Lindsay’s dress was spectacular and couldn’t be worn by anyone that wasn’t at least five ten. It was a long, black halter dress with a plunging neckline and a foil print of a peacock spread across the entire skirt. She looked amazing.

Jeremy was talking to Theo when Jamie whispered in my ear. “Meet us in the bar. I’ve had enough of the greetings.”

I was certain it was because Emmy was standing beside Theo and Jamie just didn’t want to upset Lindsay any further.

“Be there shortly,” I said and squeezed Lindsay’s hand before I turned back to Theo, who was as charming as ever as he talked about his latest mission trip.

“Hi, Phoebe,” Emmy said, coming to stand next to me. Maybe now that she had let Jamie go, any resentment she had been feeling toward me was gone too. “I have something to confess.”

“If it’s about Jeremy and that summer, I already know.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t your fault.”

She took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m glad you understand. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

“I know.”

“I’m leaving for California right after Christmas. I got a part on a CBS pilot.”

I hugged her. “That’s awesome. Congratulations!”

“Emmy.” Avery’s cool voice interrupted us. “This is my best friend Beatrice. I think the two of you know each other.”

I mouthed “call me” and turned my attention back to Jeremy who was just saying his good-byes to Theo.

Once Jeremy and I were alone, the first thing I did was rub my fingers over his lips and erase any traces of Avery from his mouth, then I kissed him, hard.

He pulled back with a raised brow.

I simply shrugged and asked, “What was Avery talking about earlier?”

He looked at me cautiously.

“In Miami?”

“I brokered a deal for her to buy a club that I used to own.”

I pursed my lips. “Why? You still own Jet Set Miami. Why would you sell one of your clubs to her?”

I could hear that I sounded bitter and didn’t like it.

He kissed my forehead. “It wasn’t mine. I sold it over a year ago and the guy I sold it to was looking to get rid of it.”

That just didn’t make sense. “Why?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes,” I said sternly.

“The Ballroom is a front for a sex club known as the Estate.”

My mouth dropped. “Sex club?”

He nodded. “I really don’t want to get into it here but when I first started my business in Miami, I ran a bunch of underground clubs and then invested in sex clubs. It was a way to make a fuck load of money—fast.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Once I had enough cash, I wanted to go legit, so I sold everything that wasn’t legal.”

“How did Avery even know about it?”

He looked around. “Theo told her. Theo and Danny used to meet up there.”

Well, I knew Theo had a thing for Danny. I didn’t know it was reciprocated. But I did know Theo wasn’t out and was never going to be while his mother was alive. Hence, the Emmy front.

“Why did she want to own a place like that?”

“I never asked.”

Before I could ask any more questions, Jamie tapped Jeremy on the shoulder. “High-stakes tables are downstairs. What do you say?”

“Let’s do it.”

We took the elevator down to the ground level. The venue had once been a bank and the vault was the perfect backdrop for the high-stakes games.

It was a small room but there was a table with two empty seats. Jamie took one and Jeremy looked over at me. “Do you want to play?”

I looked at the giant stack of hundred-dollar bills Jamie was cashing in for chips. “No, go ahead.”

“If you change your mind, let me know.”

“Drinks?” a cocktail waitress asked.

“A scotch, neat,” Jamie said as he lined his chips up in front of him.

She looked toward Jeremy, who was cashing in an equally large stack of hundred-dollar bills. “I’ll have the same. And a pinot grigio for the lady.” He nodded toward me. “And Lindsay, what would you like?”

Jamie turned. “Sorry baby, I was preoccupied.” He looked at the waitress. “She’ll have a merlot.”

Lindsay and I exchanged glances and started giggling. The men had already turned back around.

“Damsels in distress are incapable of ordering for themselves,” I whispered to her.

“I guess we should be flattered that chivalry isn’t dead,” she laughed.

Jamie rubbed his hands together. “Let’s do this.”

Frank Sinatra played from the speakers above us as initial bets were placed on the table and the poker game began.

The dealer’s hands were flying around the table as she pushed chips and flipped cards. By the time our second round of drinks arrived, I was lost. Everything was moving too fast and I didn’t really understand poker.

The player next to Jeremy stood up. “I’m out.”

He’d lost all his money and Jeremy’s stack was dwindling. Jamie’s looked about the same.

There had to be over a hundred thousand dollars at stake and suddenly I had to get away from the table. I bumped into Lindsay, who was intently watching Jamie’s every move, as I stood. “Shall we go back upstairs and walk around? They have blackjack up there.”

“Do you mind?” she asked Jamie.

He turned his head slightly. “Mind what, baby?”

“If I go upstairs with Phoebe.”

He handed her some chips. “Sure, go have fun.”

“I’m going upstairs,” I told Jeremy.

The hand had just ended and he turned around. “You okay?”

I nodded. Sure I was a little irked about the Miami thing, but I was getting over it and losing tens of thousands of dollars in less than an hour made me nervous. But it wasn’t my money and I knew I shouldn’t be concerned about it.

“You in?” Jamie barked.

“I’ll sit this one out,” Jeremy said, then pulled me to his mouth, kissing me. He turned and handed me half the chips he had left. “Maybe you’ll have better luck than me.”

“You don’t have to give me money.”

“No, I don’t have to, but I want to.”

I kissed him to thank him for his chivalry.

“Come on man, get your head back in the game,” Jamie barked.

“We won’t be long.” I kissed him one last time.

“Is everyone having fun?” Avery took a seat next to Jeremy before I had taken even one step away.

I froze.

“Do you want to stay?” Lindsay asked me.

I didn’t turn back. I had to trust him. “No, come on. Let’s go have some of our own fun.”

As we exited the elevator, Hunter was talking to Logan. “Hunter, Logan,” I said, happy to see them both. “This is Lindsay, Jamie’s wife.”

It still sounded weird to say.

Hunter was Logan’s father’s brother, but Logan’s wealth came from his mother’s side, not his father. He’d moved to the city shortly after Logan had. Sean, Hunter’s brother and Logan’s father, had stayed in Boston.

“Phoebe,” Hunter said. “Mind if I have a word with you for a moment.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back,” I told Lindsay.

We stepped aside. “What is it?”

“I went to the office this morning and with the downtime between funding and construction, I looked into the condo in Florida. TSC has paid the mortgage for more than twenty-five years for a woman named Hanna Truman.”

Truman? I couldn’t place the name. “Do you know who she is?”

“I really think you should discuss this with your father. If we do have to declare bankruptcy, we need to know what to do with the holding.”

“Hunter, if you know something. . . . Tell me.”

He shook his head. “It’s not my business as this has nothing to do with TSC. Talk to your father. And there’s something else. About five years ago there was a donation made to Stanford University for fifty thousand dollars but no evidence that it was actually a donation.”

Stanford. That’s where Jeremy went. Why would my father have donated to the place Jeremy wanted to attend graduate school?

All kinds of alarms were going off in my head. I felt like I might be sick. “Excuse me please, I need to use the ladies’ room.”

I fled to the restroom near the mezzanine in hopes it would be quiet in there. Once I reached it, I locked myself in the very last stall and sat on the red velvet chaise. As I tried to calm my shaking body, I reminded myself that my father had never known anything about Jeremy and me. It must have been a coincidence that a donation was made the same summer I met him.

And it had to be a coincidence that Jeremy’s fallen scholarship had been reinstated.

It had to be.

The alternative explanation was just too cruel.

“Oh Beatrice, he won’t stay with her long.” It was Avery’s voice.

Who were they talking about?

“I’m not so sure. They seemed genuinely interested in each other.”

“Is anyone in here?” Avery called.

I held my breath and pulled my feet up closer to me. Then I heard a click, like she was locking the main door.

“Let me show you something. But you can’t breathe a word of it to anyone. He doesn’t know I taped us.”

“Of course.”

There was silence.

“Get yourself wet for me.” The voice was deep and husky.

It was
him
.

Using familiar, intimate words.

Oh God, I felt cold.

Hot.

Sickened.

Did he ask all his fucks to do that?

There was a knife twisting in my gut.

Jeremy’s voice came from what I could only assume was a video—I knew then Avery had been talking about Jeremy and me.

“I can do more than that.” It was Avery.

“It’s so dark. Are you in your limo?” Beatrice asked over the sound of muffled voices that must have been coming from the playing video.

“Yes, he couldn’t wait to have me. We were in the Hamptons at 1 Oak and we went out to the limo while everyone else stayed and partied. Just watch. You’ll see why I think she’s just a minor distraction.”

“Oh. My. God. Are you touching yourself while he watches across the seat?” Beatrice asked.

“Yes, isn’t that the hottest thing,” Avery responded.

The knife moved to my heart and poked small holes in it.

There was the sound of heavy breathing and what might have been a zipper. “Come here.” It was Jeremy’s voice and it was extremely slurred.

I seriously thought I might have to jump up and puke but my need to hear what else was on the video overtook everything.

“Oh Avery, he’s seriously hot but he didn’t even take his clothes off.”

“I know. That’s how much he wanted me.”

She had a warped sense of lust.

There was silence again and sounds that I knew weren’t from Jeremy. “Oh, ohh, ohhh. Oh God. Oh, ohh, ohh, oh God. That’s it. That’s it. I’m coming. I’m coming.”

She was so faking it. I think it was the same monologue from
When Harry Met Sally
. I didn’t have to see her phone screen to know. I wondered if she’d ever had a real orgasm in her life. Jeremy must have known she was faking it. But I guessed he didn’t care. That made me feel better—but not much.

“What are you whispering in his ear?” Beatrice asked. “I can’t hear.”

“I told him I wanted to suck him off. He was so into me, that even after I came, he was still hard.”

Right,
I thought.

“Do it,” the slurred voice commanded.

“Holy shit, look at his face,” Beatrice said.

“He’s into me, right?”

“God yes. If a man looks like that when you have your mouth on him, I might have to do that to Tim tonight.”

“You’ve never sucked your husband off?”

“God no. Not sober anyway. Now shhh.”

“Fuck, that’s it. Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Fuckkkkk yes.” It was Jeremy and he was coming.

I closed my eyes as bile rose up my throat.

“Avery, he’s seriously into you and seriously hot. Oh my God, is he pushing your head down?”