Touch Me Gently (3 page)

“I’m Shea. Shea Michaels. His sister.” She stepped further into the kitchen, holding out her hand, and he took it lightly, shaking it gently before releasing her.

“I’m Kaden,” he returned warily. He didn’t fear women, but he wasn’t all together comfortable around them, either. He didn’t have experience with the opposite sex in any way. That, and he lacked the confidence to try because of the scar on his face.

“Well, Kaden. I heard Logan went and got himself a cook, but I’m surprised you turned out to be a guy. And here I thought I had a chance at a girl friend.” She sighed dramatically, batting her eyelashes at him and giggling playfully.

His eyes widened, and he blushed brightly, red creeping up his neck and along his cheeks, making his scar stand out even more. “I… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” She sniffed appreciatively. “If it tastes as good as it smells, I’m not disappointed you’re a guy at all. ’Course, I’m sure Logan is, since it’s been a long time since he got lucky.” She cracked up at that, not noticing Kaden’s sudden tension. “Do you need help with anything?”

“No, thank you. I only have to make the dessert now.” His thoughts were stuck on her words about Logan being disappointed about his gender. He didn’t know why that idea bothered him so much, but it almost seemed to hurt. Shoving the feeling away roughly, along with the other thoughts that plagued him, he smiled weakly and moved around her to find the ingredients for the apple pies he intended to make.

“So, Kaden, do you like to dance?” she asked, leaning her elbows on the island counter in the middle of the kitchen.

“I don’t know how,” he admitted reluctantly as he started to put together the pie crusts.

“You what?” she demanded, pushing away from the counter. “You’ve never danced before? Line dancing, slow dancing, nothing?” Her astonishment made him feel embarrassed.

To cover it up, he just shrugged and continued on with his preparations.

“Well, while you’re here, we’ll have to change that. I’m taking you out on Friday night. To Jackson’s Bar just off the highway. They have some of the best honky-tonk this side of the Mississippi.”

“I… I don’t know. I’m only here to work. Not have fun,” he protested, his mind wandering back to Logan’s words yesterday. The man assumed he liked to party, and if he went out with Shea it would seem like he’d lied to the man. Shea was also Logan’s sister. He doubted that Logan would want a messed-up guy like Kaden involved with his sister. “I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

“Pshh. If you’re worried about my brother not approving, don’t be. He knows I can handle myself. Besides you’re too scrawny to be able to take advantage of me. I’m built like a race horse, with the muscles too.” She swept her braid back over her shoulder and continued. “Not only that, you’re not really my type. I like guys taller than me. Sorry.” She gave him an apologetic look, which he just grunted at. It didn’t bother him.

Shea didn’t leave. She stayed in the kitchen with him, talking to him even though he didn’t really talk back. With her being a chatterbox it made him the perfect companion. “Hey, Kaden?”

“Yeah,” he replied, wiping down the counters and setting the timer for the pies.

“How’d you get that scar?” she asked curiously.

Kaden stiffened. His entire body just froze in place, and he squeezed his eyes shut tight. His attempt to repress the memories failed, and they beat at him, opening the emotional wounds that had never healed and making the physical ones, though long-since healed, throb in remembrance.

“Kaden?” Her warm voice seemed to come from a long way off, down a long tunnel. Warm and concerned. “Kaden? Are you all right?” She placed a hand on his shoulder and shook him slightly.

Even though subconsciously he knew the hand belonged to Shea, he couldn’t stop himself from dropping to the floor and curling into a ball, waiting for the beating he anticipated. “Jesus! Kaden? What’s wrong? Oh my God.”

She dropped to her knees next to him and started to rub his back comfortingly. “Come on, Kaden,” she crooned, her voice soft and mellow as she tried to talk him out of whatever place he’d gone to. “It’s all right. You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry I asked. Hey, uh… do you want me to teach you how to ride? That would be cool, huh? Or you can teach me how to cook. I’m terrible at that. I’d burn water, or so Logan tells me constantly.”

Shea just started to ramble on about things—her school work and the dorm she lived in, her friends and what she wanted to do with her life. The attack started to ebb as he listened to her soft, pleasant voice and the way it flowed smoothly over his body and mind. The throbbing stopped, and the emotional wounds began to knit themselves back together for the time being. Eventually he became aware of everything around him, shame at his loss of control due to such a small thing cascading over him. “I… I’m sorry,” he whispered, his fingers twisting together.

She gently placed her hands on his, stopping the panicky, frantic movements. “It’s all right. Hey, we all have things to bear, right? Ah. I think the bell dinged for your pies, Kaden.”

Shea watched the skinny teenager drag himself up from the ground, not moving from where she kneeled. Pity for the boy engulfed her. It saddened her to see someone so fragile because of abuse. It also disgusted her that others could harm someone in such a way, uncaring that it left more than physical scars on the outside. “So are we on for dancing on Friday night?”

Kaden still hesitated, and then gave a jerky nod, hoping he hadn’t made a mistake. “Sure,” he said in a thin voice, keeping his face away from her.

A squeal issued from her, and she suddenly hugged him from behind, taking him by surprise. Her arms wrapped around his chest, and she squeezed him tightly for a split second. “I’ll make sure you have fun. Okay, Kaden?” She practically bounced from the room, and he shook his head, a small smile lurking around the corners of his mouth.

Kaden had everything ready and on the table when the men arrived for dinner. Once again, he vanished into his room. Disappointment flared inside Logan, so sharp that it astonished him.

“Logan!” He heard his name shouted happily, and a figure launched itself at him. He caught her and whirled her around.

“Hey, kiddo! I didn’t know you were due in today,” he chastised her affectionately.

“I wanted to surprise you.” She smiled happily up at him. “So how goes the roundup, big brother?”

“Not too bad, and coming back to food like this doesn’t hurt, either.” He breathed deeply, dragging the scent of the food into his nostrils.

“Yeah, I met your new cook,” she replied in a hushed tone. “Logan… I think there’s something seriously tragic in his past.”

“I noticed,” he returned in an even lower tone. “But it’s not our place to ask. You know that. If he wants to talk about it, I’m sure he will. So how’s school going?” he asked, changing the subject to a more neutral topic.

She sat down at the table to eat, laughing and joking with the men. Most of them had known her from the time she was a baby, and they’d watched her grow up alongside Logan. They treated her like their own daughter or sister. Much to her dismay, when it came to a certain cowhand, but no matter what she did, the cowhand rebuffed her advances. Her mind kept drifting back to Kaden. Maybe if she befriended him, he would open up. Then again, maybe not. If just the thought of his past could do such damage to him, what would actually talking about it do?

The men finished dinner quickly, starving after the long hours out in the sun. Logan wondered if the kid had eaten and stood up to go find out, but his sister beat him to the punch. “I’m going to take him something to eat. He didn’t eat anything yet, and I’m sure he’s starving,” Shea said, taking a plate that she’d already made up for Kaden from the microwave.

He lifted an eyebrow at her, and she glared at him. “What? He has to eat, too, and I know how those guys get when it comes to good food, so I put some away for him.”

“Don’t get too attached, Shea,” he warned, and then he scowled as he realized that he needed to take his own advice.

Kaden
sat huddled against the headboard, his arms around his knees as he gazed out the window at the moon rising high into the sky. Its soft glow drifted down to touch the rich earth outside his window. Why had he come here in the first place? Why didn’t he just die that day instead of living? If you could even call his weak hold on his existence actually living. If he’d given in and just let go that day, he wouldn’t be causing trouble for the people around him. Terry, who had been nothing but nice to him from the day he’d walked into the labor office. Shea, who’d comforted him so easily even though she didn’t know a damn thing about him. And then there was Logan, someone who was so big, so intimidating, yet seemed so gentle and caring. The skin underneath his chin tingled in reminder of that simple touch that afternoon, and he rubbed at it, trying to make it go away.

A delicate knock sounded on his door, and he stood up, dizziness swamping him for a breath of a second, but he shook it off and moved toward the door. Surprisingly, Shea stood there holding a plate and a glass of soda for him. “Here.” She thrust them at him. “I saved you some food before the hungry herds could gulp it all down.”

She brushed past him into his room without waiting for an invite and started looking around. Nothing really personal sat out any place, and she pouted mentally. She’d been hoping for an idea on his past.

He set the plate and the drink on the nightstand, perching on the edge of the bed uneasily as he watched her walk around the room. He got the impression she was looking for something, but he didn’t have anything, except his lyrics. The smell of the food made him nauseous, and he wanted nothing more than to toss it in the garbage. Aside from the emotional issues he dealt with on a daily basis, Kaden barely ate. Most of the time, he couldn’t stomach the thought of eating food even though he enjoyed cooking it. He watched Shea move back over to the bed, sitting near him. “Aren’t you going to eat?” she asked him in concern.

Shaking his head, he said, “I’m not hungry.”

“But you need to eat,” she insisted, giving him a stern look. “If you don’t eat, you’ll get sick. And then you won’t be able to work here.”

That possibility brought him to a blinding halt, and he stared at her in silence. For some reason unbeknownst to him, the idea made him sad. He didn’t want to leave. Even though he’d done nothing but make trouble since he’d arrived, he wanted to stay. Kaden carefully picked up the plate and started to slowly eat, eventually enjoying the food. He sighed with satisfaction when he set the plate aside a short time later.

“Good boy.” She smiled and ruffled his hair. This amused him since she couldn’t be more than a year older than him, if any.

It struck him as she stood and flashed him a grin that she reminded him of his mother. The caring nature, her gentle ways, and her soothing aura were all reminiscent of his mother. He brushed a lock of his dark hair back from his face and watched her as she walked toward the door. “Good night, Kaden. See you in the morning. And don’t forget our date on Friday night.” She tossed him a wink before leaving the room.

Lost in thought for a while, Kaden looked at the clock and saw it was almost ten, and he hadn’t done the dishes from dinner yet. He shot up from the bed as if stung and grabbed his plate and glass from the nightstand before darting down the hallway to the kitchen. Amazement brought him to an abrupt stop. The dishes had already been washed, dried, and put away. Chagrin washed over him as he realized that Logan must have done the dishes, and after a long hard day out on the ranch. Damn. When would he learn not to screw something up? Sighing, he approached the sink and washed his own dishes, drying them before putting them away. He wiped down the dining room table and turned to go back to his room when the door leading into the dining room opened.

Logan sighed wearily, running a hand over his face as he entered through the back of the house. It had been a long day, and he needed to be up early, but it looked as if it was going to be an equally long night too. His favorite mare was in labor, which meant that he needed to sit up with the animal until she gave birth. He looked up and saw Kaden standing by the hallway. “Kaden, what are you still doing up? You should be asleep,” he admonished tiredly, making his way over to where the phone hung on the wall.

“I came out to do the dishes. But they were already done,” Kaden accused guiltily.

The large man brushed it off with a wave of his hand as he picked up the phone and dialed a number by heart. “Hey, Doc. It’s Logan Michaels. Sorry to rouse you so late, but Golden Star is going into labor. I need you here.”

After a few short questions, the vet disconnected the call, and Logan hung up. “Go to bed, Kaden. I’m going to be up for some time. One of our horses is going into labor, and it appears that it might be a difficult one.”

Kaden studied Logan’s face and saw the exhaustion that covered it. To his surprise, his heart jolted. Shaking his head as if to clear it, he watched as Logan turned and headed back outside.

Golden Star had been Logan’s since he was sixteen. Twelve years ago, his father had bought her for him, and it was one of the few connections he had left to his parents. He entered the barn and began preparing for the long night, settling down inside the stall with his back against the wall. The vet would be there soon.

Deciding to help, since he barely slept anyway because of the nightmares that plagued him, Kaden made a pot of coffee and found one of the travel canisters to pour it into. The night felt cool as he stepped outside, and he could hear the crickets chirping as his sneakers crunched along the ground toward the barn. There were little lights darting around him, and he studied them curiously. He’d never been out of the city, so everything here seemed strange and new to him. A light breeze misted across the field grasses, brushing over his skin and ruffling his hair slightly, bringing with it a strong scent of honeysuckle. He breathed deeply, taking in all of the smells at once, which caused him to sneeze from the overpowering surge on his senses. He caught a glimpse of the white horse from that morning restlessly pacing in its corral.

The barn door squeaked slightly as he opened it, hesitantly stepping inside. His nose wrinkled slightly at the smells of horse flesh, fresh straw, and wood. Several stalls lined each side of the barn, and all of the stalls were occupied right now because of the roundup. Horses of every color were sleeping or eating: black, brown, white, white and brown, white and black. He looked around in awe. The sound of hay rustling drew his attention to one stall that was lit up with a lantern, and he carefully made his way there, gazing inside at a huge black horse. The one that he’d seen in the picture with Logan now lay among the straw. Her body shimmered with sweat, and she lay with her legs curled beneath her, the skin trembling just slightly to show she was in pain. “Kaden?” He heard that smooth-as-melted-chocolate voice and shuddered at the sudden heat that invaded his body.

“I… I thought you might want some coffee.” He held out the canister, not stepping into the stall.

Logan beckoned him to enter, but he shook his head, eyeing the horse. The large man released a small laugh and stood, moving over to the stall door and opening it. “Come on. She’s not going to hurt you. In fact, she’s one of the gentlest horses I’ve ever had. Her name’s Golden Star.” It pleased Logan to see the kid have enough trust in him to come in the stall, albeit reluctantly.

“She’s beautiful,” Kaden commented quietly, taking in the dark black coat, the white marking on her forehead, and the back two feet with white around the hooves. “Is she going to be all right?”

Logan gratefully took the canister, pouring himself a cup before capping it and setting it beside his original sitting place. “She’s in labor. I agreed to breed her with a neighbor’s horse so that their daughter could have the foal. But I’m almost regretting it because it looks as though it’s going to be a hard labor on her.”

“Oh.” Kaden stayed close to the wall, just observing.

“You should get some sleep. You have to be up early in the morning,” Logan commented, carefully watching the boy and the curiosity that covered his features. His breath caught slightly in his throat as the boy looked up at him, and for the first time since his arrival had enough courage to speak back to him with a glare.

“So do you! And… I never sleep much anyway,” Kaden stammered slightly, a very becoming blush spreading across his cheeks. What had come over him to speak like that? And to his employer, no less! He mentally sighed because it seemed like he would wind up getting fired and shipped back to New York in no time if he kept it up.

“Too many bad dreams?” Logan probed lightly, and he almost sighed with frustration as the boy tensed before giving a jerky nod. “Yeah. I know all about bad dreams. Well, she should be all right for a while, hopefully until the Doc can get here. Thanks for the coffee.”

Kaden didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay and watch but… should he ask? “Can… can I stay and help?” he requested hesitantly, his eyes still trained on the horse breathing heavily.

Logan saw the kid preparing himself for rejection, and there was no way he could tell him to go so he gave in. “It’s all right by me. What do you think, Golden Star?” He looked toward the horse, and she let out a weak whicker.

Happiness spread through Kaden, and he sat down where he stood, with his back leaning into the wall, but still several feet from Logan. The horse shifted slightly, crunching some of the hay beneath her heavy weight. He glanced over at Logan, who’d once again relaxed against the wall behind him. The man’s eyes were trained on the horse as if waiting for some mysterious sign. He could sense the cowboy was concerned about the horse, and he decided to ask questions to distract Logan from his worry. “How old is she?”

Unable to suppress his surprise at Kaden initiating a conversation, Logan turned his head toward him. It seemed the teenager was starting to feel more comfortable around him, and pleasure spread through him. “She’s twelve years old. My father gave her to me when I turned sixteen.”

Kaden did quick calculations in his head and found that meant Logan was twenty-eight. Nine years older than himself. “She’s very pretty. I saw her picture.”

“She’s the gentlest horse anyone could ever meet. Unlike Mantacor, outside in the corral. Whatever you do, don’t go near him. He’d likely bite you as soon as look at you.” Logan tossed his hand in the general direction of the horse he was referring to, and Kaden jolted, shocked. The man was talking about the white horse outside. The one that he’d almost seemed to connect with. But if the horse was as mean and ornery as the man said, why had it let him touch it?

“What’s wrong with him?” he questioned quietly, oddly drawn to the horse more than he had been that morning. The thought that he was an outsider like him, or perhaps he’d been through a lot in his past like him, made him long to be with the animal.

“I got him at an auction cheap. He was wild as can be, bucking, biting, and trying to get away from the men holdin’ him. If I hadn’t bought him, they’d have destroyed him. Much as I’d like to ride him, he won’t let me near him. There are scars on his body that indicate abuse and with the crazy look he gets in those eyes, it cements that theory in my mind.” The taller man’s voice dipped and raised, his tone depending on his emotions as he spoke. It fascinated Kaden to see him so passionate about the creature outside, even though he deemed it mean. Maybe he could… but Kaden cut that line of thought off immediately, berating himself for being so idiotic.