Totlandia: Summer (17 page)

“Because overall, I mean nothing, to no one. I ruined my marriage over something so stupid—my ego. I may be great at faking it while dangling from a pole, but I’m no actress.” She stared down at her hands. “Then, when I finally make a few real friends who like me just as I am, I throw them over for people who’d much rather despise me.” She laughed harshly. “And to think I honestly thought Kimberley liked me.”

He shrugged. “You need better friends.”

She shook her head. “I had better ones. I guess what I need to do now is get them back.”

“No argument there.” He wiped away the one tear trailing down her cheek with a finger. “Now, let’s go home. I made a chicken pot pie.”

“So, what do you want to do with your new porn collection?” Reggie wasn’t above licking the last of the pot pie right off the serving spoon.

“You mean, after I barf?” She shuddered. Then her eyes grew big. “With these, I guess Oliver and I can stay in the club forever if I want to.”

He shook his head in awe. “You’d lower yourself to Kimberley’s level and blackmail Bettina?”

“Sure, why not? She and her creepy husband have made my life miserable. I don’t like being put down or blackmailed. It’s time I had the upper hand.”

“Trust me, Jade, you won’t get it by stooping to her level. A very wise man once said, ‘I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.’”

She shrugged. “I don’t think Shakespeare ever said that.”

“You’re close. It was the second most-quoted man in history, Groucho Marx.” He downed his coffee. “And he wasn’t joking when he said it.”

“What exactly does it mean?”

“It means that if you don’t have respect for those you surround yourself with, how can you have respect for yourself?”

It’s as if he’s reading my mind,
she thought.
I hate Bettina. And I despise Kimberley.
“You’re right, Reggie. Why should I give a hoot if I’m a member of their silly club? What kind of values am I teaching my son—to be cruel and judgmental? Tomorrow, I’ll tell Brady I’m resigning from the club, whether he likes it or not.”

He laughed. “You’ve inspired me to do the same.”

She couldn’t believe her ears. “Really? But what about your teaching fees?”

“As it turns out, I have a better offer—with the University of the Pacific, in Stockton. An old colleague stopped by to watch me with the Foursies. Seems he was greatly impressed. He told me if I could inspire toddlers—well, I guess it reminded him that I had a lot to offer college-age students, too.”

Of course you do,
she thought.
You’ve inspired me. You’ve made me a better person—

You’re all I have now
.

“As it turns out, they’ve got a professorship coming up in the lit department there,” Reggie continued. “A medieval studies course, and an introduction to Shakespeare course, too—you know, that sort of thing. It’ll help me get back on my feet.” Now that he looked up at her again, she saw the sadness in his eyes. “I’ll miss Oliver.”

She wished the tears weren’t clouding her eyes, and that he’d understand her when she croaked, “Will you miss me, too?”

She got her answer when he kissed her—gently, as if he was afraid to break her.

To prove he couldn’t, her arms went around his neck, pulling him in closer.

As he held her to his chest, their hearts seemed to beat as one.

With one hand, she led him up the stairs, toward her bedroom.

He needed no prompting to pull her blouse over her head, or to unzip her jeans and tug them down, off her legs.

Or to kiss the back of her neck, let alone to tell her, “I don’t deserve you.”

As she pulled him down onto the bed with her, she whispered, “We deserve each other.”

That was all the encouragement he needed to prove her right.

“What now?” she asked him.

“Now? I beg you to find it in your heart to love me forever.” He paused. “Jade, when I was down on my luck, no one would take a chance on me, let alone look me in the eye! You did. You gave me shelter and food. More than that, you believed in me. You went out on a limb for me. Since then, I made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t let you down, because doing so meant falling back into the gutter where you found me—where you saved me.” He buried his head into her back. “You were—you
are
—my angel.”

“‘Angels are bright still, though the brightest fell,’” she whispered.

“Ah! You know that one, from the Bard, do you?” Because they were spooning, his chuckle was warm on her neck.

“Before I fall asleep, I read passages from your books. You see, you’ve been good for me, too.”

He laughed as he laid his warm hand on the small of her back. She wished he’d keep it there forever. “‘The world’s my oyster.’ By the way, I presume you know I’m not quoting Groucho.”

“Good to know, because I’m not joking.” She turned around. “Reggie, I wish you’d stay in San Francisco.”

“You don’t have to stay here. You can come with me instead,” he said evenly.

“I can’t. I want to be near Oliver.”

“Stockton is only an hour and a half away. Why not ask for joint custody?”

“Brady would never give it to me. You know that.” She flipped back around.

“You won’t know until you ask.”

She didn’t answer him.

“You’ve done a lot of growing in the past month, Jade. The only way you can prove that to Brady is to approach him as an equal.”

“But…but I’m not his equal,” she muttered. “At least, he doesn’t think so.”

“Why should he? On his watch, you’ve done a couple of really foolish things.”

“You mean, making the porn film?” Her voice trembled.

“Not at all…Okay, yeah, make that a few things. But we both know that’s not why Brady is really upset with you now.”

She nodded sadly. “Because I betrayed Ally.”

“Bingo.” He took her hand. “Do you still hate her, Jade?”

“Now? No! But she hates me. She has every right to, after I tried to talk her into dropping the lawsuit.”

He snorted. “The lawsuit wouldn’t be half as damaging to Bettina as the photo you took from Kimberley.”

“Oh my God! Reggie, you’re right!” She jumped out of bed. “I know how I can make it up to Ally!”

“Now? But…I thought we’d—you know.”

She leaned down and gave him a sweet, deep kiss. Finally she pulled away. “We’ll have plenty of time for that when I get back. We’ll have the rest of our lives.”

With the fervency of her whisper, he knew her words were more than just a promise.

They were a vow.

7:55 p.m.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Jade said to Ally. Her voice ached with hope.

Ally was silent. She didn’t know why Jade was there, but she could not care less, because she knew what to expect: more lies about Brady. More probing questions about the lawsuit, in the hope that the answers would keep her in good standing with Bettina.

She’d get none of that from Ally.

And because of it, the only thing Ally had ever wanted from Jade—her friendship—was now a thing of the past.

“I’m not here for me. I’m here for Brady.” Jade’s direct gaze never wavered, nor did her voice, even as the words tumbled out of her. “I hated you when I thought you’d stolen Brady from me. What I didn’t know then—but I do know now—is that no one can steal from you what you don’t have in the first place.” She crossed her arms around her waist, as if her declaration was purging her soul as well as her heart. “Since the moment I learned of his feelings for you, I’ve tried to hate you both—but I can’t, Ally. Because both of you mean too much to me.” She could no longer hold back her tears. “And because…I love you both too much.”

Tears were streaming down Ally’s face, too.

Jade gently reached up and wiped them away. “Brady recently bought Foot Fetish to give to you. However, he doesn’t want you to know this because he thinks that even if it’s something you want badly, you’re so stubborn that you’ll reject it anyway—just as you’ve rejected him.”

Before Ally could speak, Jade raised her hand to silence her. “Wait, there’s more. You must also accept his gift, because it is pure and unselfish. He’ll never tell you himself that he did it. My God, he even made Barry swear on a stack of bibles to hide it from you! But now that you know, you must give him the only gift he’ll want from you, ever—your love.” She smiled through her tears, but her voice was firm. “And let me make this clear, right here and now: you can no longer reject him because of me, Ally Thornton. Nothing would make me happier than to see the two of you together. The past year means nothing—
to any of us
—if we can’t learn from it. My greatest lesson is that we show our love in our actions, not our words. If that’s truly the case, you should run to Brady, now, with open arms and an open heart.”

Ally stared blankly at her, then nodded slowly as she walked over to Jade, who wilted back, still wary and uncertain.

Ally’s hug showed her exactly where they stood:
together.

If only for a moment.

Until Ally ran out the door.

A second later she rushed back in. “Hey, listen, Zoe is in bed, but Barry and Christian are out for the night, so would you mind staying here until I get back?”

Jade laughed and nodded—and shooed her out the door.

8:27 p.m.

The knocking on Brady’s front door was loud enough for him to hear it from three stories up on his rooftop deck. With its spectacular view of the Golden Gate Bridge, it was the ideal spot to watch a setting sun dissolve into the icy waters of the Pacific.

As he put down his wineglass, he said a little prayer that it wasn’t Jade with some cockamamie scheme to get back into his life. Then he willed himself to look down from where he stood to see who it was.

Ally.

By the way she was pacing, he could tell she was agitated.

He practically ran down the stairwell.

When he reached the front door, he took a deep breath before opening it.

Aw, hell, let’s have it out, here and now.

He opened it midknock.

She almost fell into his arms. She tried to right herself, and he pretended to help her, but in truth he never wanted to let her go.

For the longest time she said nothing. Then, in a trembling voice, she asked, “Did you buy Foot Fetish?”

Aw, hell, Barry was right. Now she’ll hate me more than ever. She’ll say I’m a manipulative son of a bitch. She’ll tell me to leave her alone, or else she’ll get a restraining order—

“Yes.” The truth came out of him before he could stop himself.

She stared hard at him.

“Because you thought it would make me happy?”

This time he thought before he nodded. Okay, in for a dime, in for a dollar. “Well…yes.” He ducked as he added, “I know most women prefer to be wooed with jewelry or flowers, but you’re not…you’re not most women.”

“So, ask me,” she demanded.

“Ask you what?”
To marry me?

He almost had the words out of his mouth when she answered, “Ask me if I’ll consult part-time with Foot Fetish.”

He hesitated only a second. “Well…will you?”

She nodded. “Okay. Yes.”

Good. It was a step in the right direction. His idol, Jobs, would have balked at the very un-Zen-masterly way in which he added, “Your compensation is part ownership. Fifty-fifty…with me.”

“You’re a hard negotiator, but okay. I’ll take it.”

Her smile emboldened him to blurt out, “And will you marry me?”

Her smile disappeared.

If she turned him down, he’d have no one to blame but himself—for how he’d used Jade. For how he’d so wantonly wooed Ally, without any thoughts as to the consequences.

For how blatantly he’d pursued membership in the club, not caring who he hurt—only caring that Oliver got in.

That damn club.

Her silence got to him.

He opened one eye to see if she’d already stalked off.

Instead, she had raised her lips to his.

He didn’t need a written invitation to kiss her.

He didn’t stop there. He couldn’t. No matter how insistent his mind was to go into his practiced explanation as to why he did what he did, his heart told him to
just shut up,
and his body told him to hold on to her and never let her go.

That he’d never be a whole person unless he had her by his side, always.

He was certain she’d read his mind because she stroked his cheek with the back of one hand.

With the other, she led his hand to the base of her neck.

He felt it: a tiny clasp, just above the zipper of her sundress.

He opened it. Then slowly, he pulled the zipper down the base of her spine. The dress slid off her shoulders and down over her breasts and her hips, bunching at her ankles.

When he unclasped her bra, her breasts fell into his cupped hands.

He buried his face in them and sighed, as if he never wanted to leave.

Between the cold ocean air wafting in from the open window and the way his lips tugged at them, her nipples sprang erect. The cause and effect was immediate. He felt himself grow hard.

He groaned as she pulled him with her onto the living room rug. When she guided him into her and tightened around him, the true purpose of his life crystallized before him.

As they surged together, he realized he’d never felt such joy with a woman.

After he collapsed onto her and as they held each other without saying a word, all he could think about were the years of happiness and love the four of them would share, for the rest of their lives—

She, he, Zoe, and Oliver.

Maybe even another child or two.

Or, if she preferred, another company or two.

With Ally at his side, the possibilities were endless.

Tuesday, 23 July

10:33 a.m.

At first Jade didn’t see Brady, standing in the doorway of the Golden Gate Valley Library meeting room. He wasn’t watching Oliver and the other toddlers giggle and coo at the storyteller’s puppets, but staring straight at her. Noting that he’d finally caught her eye, he nodded for her to follow him out into the hallway.