Tortured Soul (19 page)

“Why did you ask me to call you Shakhta?” I whispered. Braiden’s eyes fell closed for a moment, and I missed the dark depths that always watched me with such care and longing. When I used Rebecca’s computer to research the name I had first used for him, I was confused by what I had discovered.
Mine
. Braiden had never been mine, yet he asked me to call him as such.

“I was always yours, Em, ever since the first moment I laid eyes on you. I didn’t think you would see me as that though, ever. Hearing you refer to me as yours, even though it was in Russian and you had no idea what it meant, it filled me with a sense of pride. It was also as far from master as I could possibly imagine. Rather than you belonging to someone, you had someone who belonged to you.”

My eyes fluttered shut with the emotion those words filled me with.

“Show me what it’s meant to be like,” I breathed. Braiden’s hands stopped, his dark eyes searching mine. I could see the conflict in them: the desire fighting the need to protect me. “Show me how a woman is supposed to be loved.” I saw the moment he caved, the moment his eyes went from conflicted torment to lust.

“We stop any time you want. Remember, Em, you’re in control here.” He turned off the water and led me out of the shower, wrapping a big soft towel around my heated skin.

“Finish up in here and meet me in my room. If you don’t come, Em, I won’t hold it against you, and I won’t care any less for you. As I told you, we’re in no rush to do this.”

I simply nodded as Braiden turned and left me alone.

I brushed my teeth and opted not to wear clothes. I left the towel wrapped around my body as I wandered across the hall to Braiden’s room. I was so nervous my hands shook, but the nerves were not a result of fear. This was pure, feminine insecurities running through my veins. Would I measure up? Can I give him what he needs? Will I make a fool of myself?

His door was slightly ajar and I pushed it open. He stood before me, his own towel hanging dangerously low on his waist. Braiden’s dark eyes followed me as I entered the room. I pushed the door closed, leaned against it, and stared back. He reached for my hand and pulled me into his chest as his lips crushed against mine. Kisses like this didn’t exist in the world I had come from. Kisses like this burned with promise and need. Kisses like this were for women who were cherished by men who adored them. Braiden didn’t break the kiss; he pulled me with him across the room, turned me, and finally allowed me to breathe. As his lips left mine, his hand rested on my chest. With gentle pressure, he pushed me back, and I laid on the bed before him, ready to be shown exactly what a tender caress was supposed to feel like.

BRAIDEN

An honorable man wouldn’t have touched her. An honorable man definitely wouldn’t have kissed her. But I had never been an honorable man, and I wasn’t about to become one. The need to touch Emily was seared into my brain. If she said no, it would end immediately. I might be an asshole, but I wasn’t a rapist. In this moment, the need and yearning I saw in her eyes was guiding me. She wanted me to touch her, and unless she asked me to stop, I would gladly do so. Emily’s skin was soft, warm, and far too tempting. I wanted to see her glow with the pleasure she had been denied for far too long. Rather than grab her wrists, pin her pliant body beneath mine and slam myself deep inside her like I wanted to, I laid down beside her and gently pushed her hair back from her face. I could do gentle. It wasn’t something I did often, but I always gave my woman what she needed, and right now Em need sweet and tender.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked. I already knew the answer, but I needed her to say it out loud.

Her brow creased with confusion. “I...” She wasn’t used to being asked. I leaned in close and nuzzled my face in the sweet soft spot where her shoulder met her neck, and inhaled the honeyed fragrance of soap that clung to her skin. She shuddered beneath my touch. “I don’t know,” she quietly confessed.

“Do you want me to touch you?” I offered, the asshole in me prayed she said yes, while the man I should be hoped she said no. I nibbled at her jaw knowing the asshole would win.

“Yes,” she sighed.

I couldn’t help the small smile that fell to my lips at her breathless answer. “With my hands?” My lips barely touched her skin as I trailed feather light kisses across her shoulder.

“Yes.”

With her permission granted I raised my hand to the towel still wrapped around her body and pulled it free. Her body was so soft and warm, her skin was like satin, and her gentle curves demanded my attention. Looking at her was almost torturous; she was a sight that played havoc with my control. I wanted to tie her down and fuck her hard, but I also wanted to enter her slowly and watch the desire in her eyes as I leisurely brought her to orgasm. Unable to resist her lure any longer, I ran my fingers over a pink nipple, enjoying the sight of her body as it shivered under my touch.

“So beautiful,” I growled, placing a kiss on one of the small scars on her chest. Emily’s hands tangled in my hair, holding me close. Loving her encouraging hands, I fought a grin as I moved lower until my mouth closed over her nipple and sucked hard. The small moan that escaped her lips didn’t help my restraint as my hand closed over her other breast. I wanted to close my eyes and simply enjoy her, but I kept an eye on her face and the rise and fall of her chest, making sure she was here with me in the now and not slipping into an ugly memory. Her hips rose, seeking for the release that was building. I slid one of my hands down her soft tummy and over the bare skin of her pussy. I moved my mouth to her other breast as my fingers glided between her smooth, wet folds. Another long moan of satisfaction urged me on. Gently rubbing the warmth between her thighs, I pulled my lips away from her breast and took her mouth in a deep kiss. My tongue explored her mouth with a demand that was simply impossible to restrain, and when I pulled away I nipped her lower lip like the greedy demanding asshole I was.

“Please, Shakhta,” she murmured. The submissive plea that left her lips caused a low growl to rumble from deep inside my chest.

“What do you want, Malen’kaya?” I asked with a less than subtle urgency. My finger slipped deep into her body as my thumb rubbed her clit.

“More, please.”

I was more than happy to oblige and fucked her with my fingers. She was so warm and wet—I needed to be inside her—needed to feel this wet heat on my dick. I rolled to my back and dragged her soft body over mine. I grinned with male satisfaction when she protested at the loss of my fingers from her pussy. As I settled her over my hips, the warmth of her most intimate part pressed against my hard cock. I wanted to hold her down and claim her in the most basic and dominant way, but I managed to hold back, giving her plenty of room see and feel everything that was happening. When her fervent gaze settled on mine, she paused for a moment. With her flushed cheeks, her swollen and red lips, and her hair tangled around her face, she looked like a goddess. She was beyond beautiful, unquestionably the most stunning woman I had ever seen.

“You are in control,” I reminded. Her nod was hesitant, her hands even more so as they slid up my stomach to rest on my chest. She moved her hips, and slid her wet pussy along my rigid shaft. I clenched my jaw with restraint. The need to take control was riding me hard, but I cared for this girl enough to allow her this. She leaned forward to kiss me, and her breasts pressed against my skin. My fists clenched demanding I reach for her, so instead, I raised my hands above my head and held onto the headboard tightly, which groaned under the pressure. When Emily sat back and noticed, her eyes flared with surprise.

“You don’t want to touch me?” Her body stilled, and her eyes filled with concern.

“More than anything, Malen’kaya, but his is about you taking control. You are the master now,” I smirked, “and you should take advantage of it. I doubt I will be able to concede control like this often.”

She smiled as she moved her hips again and dug her fingernails into my chest. Her eyes roamed my body greedily. I could almost hear the wicked thoughts and possibilities unfolding in her mind. Reaching around behind her, she cupped my balls and rolled them in her hand. I almost came all over my stomach like an inexperienced teenager. She gently moved her hips again, sliding her pussy along my shaft, creating a friction that had my hips automatically seeking more. Her fingers continued to massage my balls as she rocked herself against me.

“Condom?” she finally panted as her control began to slip away.

I stilled, knowing very well I had ample condoms in the drawer beside me, but I wanted to feel her wrapped around my cock without the intrusive cover.

“I’m clean. I was tested,” she quickly offered with a blush.

“The only time I’ve gone without has been during long term relationships, and I’m tested regularly. I’m safe, Em.”

She looked at me for a moment, our bodies so close to joining yet so far. “And I can’t get pregnant,” she murmured.

Before I could let go of the headboard and reach out for her, she lifted her hips and positioned my cock at her entrance. Her eyes stayed on mine as she worked herself onto my length, far too slowly. The heat of her core sliding over my dick was like heaven and hell combined. It was so good I could stay like this forever, but so good I feared I would explode at any moment. Em paused before she raised her hips and slammed them down hard. There was no way I could contain the groan that spilled from my lips. I gripped the headboard tighter. As she threw her head back, her breasts arched forward. She continued to ride me hard and slow, and my hips thrust up to meet hers. She arched back a little more, giving me the most spectacular view of my glistening cock disappearing into her folds. Her movements gradually became faster, and when I finally dragged my eyes away from the sight of our joining, I noticed the frustration in her eyes.

“I need to touch you.” I wasn’t asking for permission. It was merely a warning. Her nod was immediate. My hands gladly released the headboard and I sat up, bringing our eyes in line with each other. I grabbed her beautiful ass and pulled her down and forward in a way that I knew would create friction against her clit. Her hands wrapped around my neck and pulled me in for a firm kiss that I was happy to indulge her with.

“Harder,” she whispered.

I pulled her down again with more force. Her skin now glowed with a fine sheen of perspiration and I licked her shoulder, enjoying the salty taste of her on my tongue.

“I need more,” she whimpered.

Without hesitation or any thought of the consequences, I flipped her to her back, grabbed her wrists and pinned them down forcefully above her head. Her eyes flared with shock but I could also see the excitement in them. I held her gaze as I pushed my cock deep into her, over and over again. The slap of our flesh meeting filled the room. Emily’s naturally submissive body began to respond. Her breathing grew rapid as she demanded more, harder, faster. Finally, she arched her back and screamed out her release. The walls of her pussy clenched so tightly around my cock, my balls immediately tightened and I spilled inside her, growling into her neck as I did. My hips thrust forward a few more times, riding out the orgasm. When I could no longer move, I collapsed, barely holding my full weight off her. My face was resting in her neck, and I kissed the rapidly beating pulse there before raising my head.

“Are you okay?” I asked, finding a shred of decency. I should have asked her several times by now, but in my greedy need, I was afraid she might say no.

She looked a little surprised as she pushed the hair from my eyes. “I think so,” she admitted.

I kissed her more gently than I had moments before. I licked her lips, tasted her tongue and reluctantly pulled away. I rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom to dampen a washcloth. When I came back into the bedroom, she still hadn’t moved. I sat beside her, gently pushed open her legs, and cleaned her with as much tender care as I could. I grinned at the blush that stained her cheeks. I threw the washcloth toward the bathroom door, not caring where it landed, and climbed back into bed beside her. Truth be told, now that the deed was done, I was more than a little worried. Sex for her had always been something to be afraid of, even ashamed of. Now that she had time to think about what had happened, would she regret it? Would she fear me? Opening my arms, she settled into my embrace, her head rested against my chest, right over my heart.

“Braiden?” she whispered.

“Yes, Em.”

“Can we pretend that was my first time?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, savoring her uncertain words. “That was your first time, beautiful girl.” She turned her head so she could see my face. Her brows creased in confusion. I ran my thumb over the wrinkles in her forehead in an effort to smooth them out. “It was your first willing time. With Jonas it didn’t count, he deceived you. In all the ways that matter, this was your first time, Em.”

She took my hand from her face and pressed a kiss to my fingers before turning her head and settling into my body as if she were made for it. While my conscience quietly scolded me for touching this fragile girl, my heart warmed for her. I had never needed a woman before. I had wanted them, I had desired them, but I’ve never found myself in a position of craving one on a soul deep level, until now. I ran my fingers through Em’s hair, knowing this brought her comfort. As a dominant male, I wanted to provide for the woman I was with. I wanted her pleasure to be first and foremost, I wanted her to be protected and happy. I wanted her to be strong enough to keep an arrogant male like myself in his place, and I knew in my heart Emily was strong enough. To have endured the life she had, to have survived, she had to have the heart of a lion and the soul of a warrior. Emily was everything I ever wanted and everything I hadn’t realized I needed. The thought of losing her was painful, and that’s how I knew this was more. These feelings, these needs, they were more than simple infatuation or desire. I didn’t know if they were love, but I knew I was prepared to fight for this girl, physically and emotionally.

***

A phone call just before dawn had me up well before Emily. Wrenching myself away from her beautiful, warm, peaceful body had been much harder than I thought. The early call had been from Alexander’s second, Dominic. Dragging me from the luxury of Emily’s body had me irritable. News that Jonas was alive and well in London had me confused on top of that. It just didn’t seem a likely scenario. Dominic’s source had been a meth laden arms dealer who had betrayed Alexander’s confidence. He was unreliable at best, and now anchored to a block of cement at the bottom of the Thames. My gut told me that Jonas had been in London at some point, but was more likely closer to Claymont now. I knew he would come for Em. Even if he sent Nate to collect her, I knew he couldn’t be too far away. A morning report with Bomber and Gabbie had taken less than half an hour, but several emails from Dillon kept me sequestered in the office for most of the morning. While I concentrated all my time and effort into protecting Emily and trying to find Jonas Levier, Montgomery Securities kept running and Dillon took the brunt of the work load. I spent the morning fulfilling orders for our state-of-the-art security system, and carefully sorting through emails requesting our security services, for anything from temporary bodyguard duties to missing person reports. To say our business was booming was an understatement. It was obvious we were going to have to hire more personnel and soon.

Em remained absent all morning. Gabbie confirmed she was in her room reading. She seemed a little distant, but otherwise alright. Once I realized lunch had come and gone and I still hadn’t seen her, curiosity and concern got the better of me. Could touching her last night come back to bite me on the ass? I tapped quietly on her door. When there was no answer, I pushed it open and pulled up short when I noticed her sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. Her head rested against the wall, and her feet were tucked under her. She seemed so forlorn and lost. I wanted to rage like a mad beast. I wanted to beat the shit out of Jonas for filling her with this confusion and fear, but most of all I wanted to kick my own ass from here to eternity for being a selfish bastard and having sex with her when she obviously wasn’t ready. Taking a long deep breath, hoping this had nothing to do with last night, I reigned in my control. I approached her cautiously, and knelt down beside her. She didn’t move.