Torn (37 page)

She hesitated an instant, searching
her heart for what it was she was feeling. She had just experienced
an amazing weekend with Aidan, and undeniably developed feelings
for him. It wasn’t the deep love that grew over time, but it was
powerful, raw, and indescribable. “I still love you, I always
will.” She squeezed her arms tighter around herself, fearing the
ache would return. “But I don’t think I could stand you looking at
me with judgmental eyes, bringing my past up every time we had a
fight. At least with Aidan I have a fresh start—I can keep my past
hidden.”

“
Aidan?” The name rolled
off of his tongue sneeringly. “So you’d rather live a lie with
someone you barely know, than live in truth with me?”

The defeat in Branson’s voice tumbled
over Katie like giant boulders, crushing her to the core. Her mind
was foggy as she searched for something to say. Nothing came—only
an overwhelming exhaustion that made her question the ability of
her legs to hold her up any longer. She felt for the wall behind
her with her hand and leaned against it, resisting the urge to
slide down into the floor. She longed for Branson to promise that
everything would be perfect, that he was her knight in shining
armor and had come to save her. Assure her that he would forget all
that happened and never bring it up as long as they
lived.

“
I—I just wish we could go
back to when our lives were perfect,” Katie whispered.

“
Our lives were never
perfect, babe. We’ve endured a great deal of heartache together,
and I have no doubt there will be more, but as long as we have each
other to lean on we can get through anything.” He paused, gauging
her reaction. “My love for you has only grown stronger after
hearing about the hell you endured. You are strong, brave, and . .
. you’re mine.” Branson pulled her in for a long, hard, desperate
kiss, hoping to satiate the hollow feeling in his chest. He felt
her body relax and melt into his and he was overcome by the
profound desire to protect and comfort her.

He could have kissed her all night,
giving up all of life’s necessities—food, water, oxygen—as long as
he never had to let her go again. But he knew she was exhausted.
“Let’s get you to bed.”

Katie nodded her head, barely able to
keep her eyes open. She was physically and emotionally
drained.

Branson helped Katie to bed and kissed
her forehead before turning to leave.

“
Branson!” Katie started
to sit up. “Don’t go.”

“
I’m not going anywhere.
I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

“
Hold me?” Katie
pleaded.

Branson slid in beside her and pulled
her backside to him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her
tight. As he listened to Katie’s breathing settle into a pattern,
it slowed and became calm as she drifted off to sleep. He stroked
her hair, ran his hand down her arm, and kissed the top of her head
every few minutes, cherishing having her back in his
arms.

Most of the night was
restless for Katie, waking several times to make sure Branson was
still beside her. Each time, she snuggled into the dip in his chest
that cradled her head perfectly and gripped him tighter.
He’s here . . . he’s really here.

***

Fog surrounded Katie as
the past twenty-four hours played out.
She
was with Aidan, horseback riding in the nude on the empty beach.
Her arms were wrapped around his waist as her chest and stomach
hugged into his strong back. She felt wild and free as they raced
along, her hair blowing in the warm breeze. They climbed off the
horse and ran into the ocean, diving into the water to cool off.
Aidan took her in his arms, and she wrapped her legs around him as
he began to make love to her. She lolled her head back, enjoying
the feeling of him filling her over and over again. When she looked
into his eyes, they changed from dark to clear blue. Guilt washed
over her as she realized it was Branson. Had she been fantasizing
about Aidan the whole time? He smiled at her and she saw the safety
of his love. She began to move her hips, resuming the pleasure. Her
eyes closed as he moaned and told her how much he loved her.
Feeling him change around her, she opened her eyes to see Aidan’s
lustful gaze. “I’m going to drive your body wild.” Confusion
pervaded Katie as Aidan changed back to Branson. “No one will ever
love you like I do.”

Suddenly, she felt
something jerk her out of his arms. “You want me.” Aidan commanded,
his dark eyes hypnotizing her as he easily led her out of the
water. Looking from Aidan to Branson, she was unsure of what to do.
She loved them both, wanted them both.

She clung to Aidan as she
reached for Branson, pulling him out of the water with
her.

“
You must choose,” Branson
said, arms folded across his chest.

Aidan mirrored Branson’s
pose. “I won’t share.”

Katie didn’t know what to
do, she went back and forth looking for an answer from either of
them, but they didn’t move. All of a sudden Aidan raised his arms
in disgust. “Whatever,” he said as he climbed on the horse and
galloped away.

Katie chased after him,
her legs sinking deeper into the sand with each step, making it
impossible for her to catch him. She turned to Branson who was
walking down the beach in the other direction, farther and farther
away from her. “Wait! Please don’t go!” She shouted, but he didn’t
turn or slow his pace. “I’ve lost them both.” Katie fell to her
knees, rested her head in her hands, and let the tears
flow.

Branson awoke to Katie’s soft cries as
she grasped at his shirt. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re having a bad
dream.” He stroked her arm until she calmed down and fell back
asleep.

Thirty-Nine

Crying wasn’t an option—yet. Katie
would have to wait and let her emotional turmoil release when she
had a moment alone.

Branson looked hopeful as he stood in
her kitchen, busying himself with the coffee machine. “Good
morning, I didn’t see you standing there.”

Katie pushed herself off of the door
frame and retrieved the creamer from the fridge. “I haven’t been
here long. Need help with the coffee maker?”

“
No, I’ve got it.” He
chuckled. “What are you hungry for? Pancakes? Eggs?”

“
I’m not hungry. Coffee
will be fine.”

“
You’ve got to eat
something. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. How
‘bout we grab something on the way home?”

It dawned on her that he was probably
starved. “If you’re hungry, there are bagels in the
fridge.”

He looked at her, trying to read the
emotion displayed across her beautiful features and in her
demeanor. Taking a place against the wall next to her, he asked,
“What’s wrong, baby?”

She shook her head, unable to speak.
How could she explain what was going on inside of her? He would
bolt if he knew she was torn over which man to choose. “I . . . I
need some time.”

“
Of course. We can take it
slow.”

“
You don’t understand. I
need time to process. I have some things to sort out and I’m just
not ready to come home.”

Branson’s exhaled a long,
slow breath. “I see.” Suddenly the happy tune on the radio was
annoying and seemed to be mocking him.
Pocket full of sunshine . . . seriously?
What the hell does she need to think about? I know I screwed
up, but I thought we worked through all of that shit last
night?
“How long do you think you
need?”

Katie shrugged. “A couple
of days, maybe a week?”
How long does it
usually take people to make a life altering decision?

“
All right. Bart can
handle the office while I’m gone.”

Katie whipped her head
around and looked at him with wide eyes. “You can’t stay
here!
How am I supposed
to be alone with my thoughts if you’re right next to
me?”

“
I’m not going back to
Maine, if that’s what you had in mind.” He wrapped an arm around
her waist and pulled her closer. “Now that I have you back, I’m not
letting you go. You belong with me, baby.”

Did she? Katie let his
words flow over her, caressing and comforting her. It felt so good
to hear him say these things. Then she remembered Aidan saying
something similar. His voice echoing in her mind,
“You are mine."
Both men
sent her world into disarray. She needed to belong to
someone
. Branson
loved
her. He was every
woman’s dream of a devoted, faithful husband. Aidan
possessed
her. He made
her feel desired and he pushed her, revealing a risky, sensual
side.

Branson interrupted her thought
process. “Tell you what. I’ll stay in a hotel. You can have your
space, while you mull things over.” Part of him felt like he was
losing his man card, resorting to this. But after the hell of
losing her, he would fight for her no matter the cost. Before
leaving, he made sure she knew how much he wanted her. “Dance with
me?”

“
Here?”

“
Yes.”

Branson took her hand and
pulled her in close. The contact of his flesh against her
pajama-clad chest ignited a fire inside of her, making it difficult
to maintain balance. Their bodies clung to each other, floating to
the sultry sound of Rihanna’s voice as she sang about wanting her
lover to stay. Their eyes locked on each other as Branson held her
in his arms. Katie heard the words in the background and felt like
she was living them. “
Round and around and
around and around we go . . .”

Katie wrapped one arm around his neck,
never losing eye contact. She listened to the words of the song and
reflected on how perfectly they told the story of her situation.
She was sure he had picked this song to sway her, and dammit, it
was working.

When the song stopped, so did time as
they stood there looking at each other. Her body tensed when
Branson leaned in. She tried to stay strong as he kissed her, not
wanting to give him a false sense of security, but when his lips
touched hers, she melted. After all the time apart, and everything
she had experienced with Aidan, the spark was still there. His kiss
was still unlike anything she had ever experienced, liquefying her
muscles as he demonstrated the depth of his love. The buzz of her
phone broke her enchantment, and she slid it into her pocket before
Branson could see the text.

“
One day,” Katie said,
walking to the front door. She opened it and leaned against the
frame. “Give me one day without calling, or coming over. I need to
be alone with my thoughts.”

“
Deal.” Branson leaned in
and kissed her cheek. “I love you, baby.”

Katie shut the door before a tear
escaped and slipped down her cheek. She had no clue what she was
going to do. Maybe she was meant to be alone—maybe she didn’t
deserve either one of them? She pulled out her phone, remembering
the awaiting text, and read it:

Busy day. I’ll call you
tonight.

Katie was disappointed and relieved at
the same time. She longed to hear his voice and feel his hands on
her body, burning up her flesh with his touch. But she also needed
time to think and process. Her deepest musing came from being close
to the ocean, so she grabbed a towel and headed outside. A warm
breeze caressed her shoulders as she hugged her knees with one arm
near the water’s edge. She ran her finger through the sand,
monogramming her initials onto the beach. As the water lapped
against her feet, she contemplated her situation. Branson was her
first love, and she reminisced about laying eyes on him for the
first time, dating, and the first time they made love. She thought
about the heartache they shared over losing a child, and how he
held her and cared for her through her time of despair.

Her mind wandered to Aidan. He was
devilishly handsome and electrifying. She experienced new things
and feelings that were way out of her comfort zone, and time spent
with him was exhilarating. She pictured an exciting life
together—travelling the world, scuba diving, making love in the
ocean.

Looking down the beach, she watched as
a family of four walked along the shoreline. The kids were jumping
over the waves and laughing. The girl looked to be around eleven
with long blond hair braided down her back. She held her younger
brothers hand, helping him jump. Probably three or four, with
matching blond hair, he giggled and begged her to do it
again.

Katie imagined the family
was hers and Aidan’s. Would he be a good father? Did he want
children? Her head was spinning as she imagined her life with
Branson versus Aidan. Both excited her, but in different ways. She
erased her monogram from the sand, and replaced it with KRH. Right
next to it she scrolled KSH.
Katie Stone,
Katie Romero. Mr. and Mrs. Stone, Dr. and Mrs. Romero. Ugh!
Katie ran her hand over the sand and
sighed.

She imagined Aidan’s hands
on her waist as he held her against the wall, possessing her body
and mind as he took her over and over again. He knew just how to
manipulate her and bestowed an insatiable hunger inside of her. The
way he looked at her . . . but Branson . . .
the one she vowed to love forever. She recalled their first
night together, how he had been so gentle and loving with her. She
wanted him to be the only man that ever touched her. Their
connection was magnificent. It was natural, deep, and made her feel
whole.