Torn (5 page)

As enchanting as the
unseen choir was, the visual experience was even better. Tendrils of
ivy, glowing with life, partially concealed the rock walls from which
the grotto had been cut. An errant breeze carried with it another
host of scents, and I turned and found my latest creation.

The potted rose still
didn't have a name. I'd held off selecting one first because I'd
wanted to see how hardy the cross was, and then because nothing had
seemed quite appropriate. It was a different kind of art, a
different manner of creation, but this was something I shared with
father.

It had been Donovan's
gentle hands that had guided me, had taught me the breeder's art, but
it was on dad's foundation that we built. The most promising fruit
was a white rose, edged in purple. It was thornless, with full,
velvety petals, and a scent that seemed to magnify and enrich
everything around it.

The parent plant had
been gorgeous but almost completely scentless. The cross we'd
brought in six years ago had changed all that. Humans would have
found the aroma attractive, without realizing just how unique it was.
Now, after decades of work across two generations, we had something
that was beautiful and disease resistant without destroying the
characteristic scent.

I hadn't been giving
the roses the attention they deserved lately. Donovan would
wordlessly ensure that they were still cared for, but it was one more
sign of failure, one more way in which I wasn't measuring up.

I sighed and stood
back up, only to find Adriana Paige watching me. It wasn't fair, but
she'd appeared at the same time as my latest round of bad news. She
wasn't the cause of Brandon's machinations, but to some extent she'd
become associated with them.

It seemed that my
dreams were even less of a refuge than I'd hoped.

"Of all the
places for you to intrude, why did it have to be here?"

The mask that she wore
almost constantly seemed to slip slightly and I was struck again by
just how attractive she was. The hint of light playing beneath her
skin was incredibly alluring. In another shape shifter it would have
marked her as powerful, desirable because it meant she'd be able to
protect herself and future children.

In her it was merely
an odd genetic quirk, and instead of dwelling on it I found my gaze
drifting to an exceptionally symmetrical face, to beautiful blond
hair, and a trim body that was perfectly framed by faded shorts and a
thin tank top. The perfection ended as soon as she opened her mouth.

"You would be
the only person on the planet to discover such beauty and think only
of keeping it to yourself. Trust me, even with surroundings like
this I'd much rather be elsewhere if you're part of the bargain."

The rebuke caught me
completely by surprise. It'd been a long time since anyone outside
the pack had spoken their mind so freely to me, and even the pack
tended to be circumspect in their criticisms. Unlike Brandon, I
wasn't the type to punish people for speaking their mind.
Unfortunately, from the outside, the humans often weren't able to
determine which power block was committing which atrocity.

Before I could fully
process her statement, Adriana shot me another venomous look.

"At least you
won't have to suffer my presence for much longer; we'll be gone all
too quickly."

It was too reminiscent
of something I'd heard time and time again. My dream mind was once
again reminding me of why it was so dangerous to get involved with
humans. Barring death in some kind of challenge or war, I could look
forward to nearly three hundred years of young, vibrant life. She,
just like Rachel would be lucky to experience fifty or sixty years of
existence before age and illness tainted the remaining decade or two
of life.

"No, you're
right, all too soon you'll go the way of so many others. If I can
depend on nothing else, I can rely on that."

Another finger of wind
darted down into the grotto and Adriana reflexively closed her eyes,
almost like one of the moon born tasting the air. The mask
slipped a little and the simple joy that replaced it made me mourn for
my own loss of innocence. Most days I'd trade everything I had to be
able to go back to the time when I'd enjoyed the simple things of
life, when I'd still had dreams.

I had one last glimpse
of beautiful blue eyes and then I was ripped screaming from the
dream.

Mother's sobs pulled
me out of bed and into a full sprint towards her room before I was
even fully awake.

"He's gone. Oh
my poor, poor son. What are we going to do without him?"

The words pulled at my
mind, burrowing their way deeper and deeper into my being. Mother
had sunk into a full blown attack. I should have seen it coming.
'Welcoming' was the last piece she'd ever played before the cycle
ended and she started over again. Apparently I was too distracted to
properly attend to my own mother either.

My earliest memories
had been of the attacks. Even back then my presence had been the
only thing capable of calming her. Of course calm was a relative
term. For a child barely old enough to speak, even the minor attacks
had been terrifying. The nightmares had lost most of their power
over me since then, but still occasionally made an appearance.

Rachel continued to
hold out hope that the shrinks were right, that the repeated cycles
might eventually lead to her coming to terms with the loss.

I'd given up on that
idea a while ago. How could she possibly come to deal with what
she'd lost? Dad had been her entire world. She'd cut herself off
from everything else with the abrupt completeness of the Ja'tell
bond, and his death had simultaneously been the loss of her husband
and her pusher.

She'd spent the night
reliving the experience of being informed of his death. Rachel had
tried to go to her before I arrived, but she'd turned away from her
daughter with the unseeing eyes of someone who, however briefly, believed
she only had one child.

On good days mom
acknowledged Rachel's existence, but the attacks were never good
days. Even once I'd arrived she'd sobbed for hours, gripping me with
a frail strength that couldn't possibly hurt a grown shape shifter,
but which had been almost painful to a child still unable to
understand what was happening.

By the time she'd
finally lapsed into unconsciousness, it was too late to return to
sleep. It was fortunate that the night of the full moon was now
behind us. Still, I was so exhausted that the lesser pull of the
moon was very distracting.

Shape shifters
required less sleep than humans, but our sleep was consequently more
important. My beast was prowling at the edge of my self-control,
almost as though sensing my weakness. I shouldn't be going to
school, but we couldn't afford to show weakness, and Brandon's pack
already viewed our staying home from class the day of the full moon
as a lack of strength.

Rachel and I rode into
school with Jasmin in her Mercedes, and even before we made it inside
the teasing started. One of the senior jocks on the football team
dumped her books without looking up from his phone.

He'd done it without
realizing who he was tormenting, or he wouldn't have dared. When he
looked up to see the results of his handiwork he'd gone instantly
white, but constrained by my oath I'd simply helped Rachel pick up
her scattered books instead of throwing him against the wall and
ordering him to pick them up for her.

Jasmin didn't look any
happier about it than me, but Rachel almost glowed as the ox-brained
jock turned and fled down the hall with his skin fully intact.

The morning went
pretty much as normal except for the almost constant flow of incidents.
Apparently word spread faster even than I'd expected. There was
still enough fear of the pack for the teasing not to progress to the
truly terrible things that teenagers could work themselves up to, but
the sheer volume bothered more than just Jasmin and me.

By third period a
click of girls had formed around Rachel, and they served as a kind of
buffer between her and the rest of the world.

I was frankly amazed
when I arrived at the cafeteria and saw the group with Rachel. I
wouldn't have expected her idea to work at all, but it hadn't been
quite the disaster I'd expected. The girls who'd surrounded her
weren't the ones I'd have picked as friends. They tended towards the
social climbers and gossips, but it was more acceptance than Rachel
usually got from the school at large.

Jasmin and I loaded up
with two slices of pizza and an extra-large serving of fries each and
headed towards Isaac and the others. One of the benefits of being
moon born was the kind of metabolism that would let even the girls
stoke up on thousands of 'extra' calories per day and still not build
up any appreciable body fat.

We were nearly to our
usual table when I heard it happen. Having extra acute hearing
doesn't necessarily mean you can understand everything you hear. In
especially noise-rich environments it can sometimes be hard to
simultaneously follow so many different conversations. I usually
coped by listening for specific voices. Like Rachel's.

I caught the tail end
of one of the girls next to her.

"...Cassi
wouldn't like that."

"Please. She
doesn't own him. If you like him you should go for it. It's not
like she'll provide any competition. I've never seen her keep a
normal boy interested for more than a few days. Once they realize
what she's really like they never hang around."

The giggling that
followed was cut short as Rachel's 'friends' looked up to find Cassi
standing at their table.

"Are you really
that stupid? Did you really just make this about you and me?"

Cassie overturned the
table and then shoved Rachel just hard enough to knock her chair
over. As everyone else backed away to give the two girls plenty of
room, I realized Cassie's anger was purely a show. She was creating
an incident, but I had no way of knowing why.

The pack moved in to
defend Rachel, to shield her from someone who could easily snap her
back, and I nearly lost control of my beast.

My sub vocalized growl
was enough to pull everyone up short as Cassie resumed hurling
insults.

"You're going to
get what's coming to you, you stupid little slut."

Rachel was bewildered.
She looked calm, but I could smell the fear begin to roll off of
her. She'd gone too long without adequate sleep. Or maybe she was
just too enamored of the illusion of popularity to even contemplate
releasing me from the bond.

Whatever the reason,
her response came out calm and even.

"I haven't done
anything to you Cassie and you know it. This is all just an excuse."

The crowd was pressing
in closer now filling in behind the two packs but leaving the usual
no-man's land between as they chose up sides.

"Shut your lying
mouth. I'm really going to enjoy this."

Cassie sent a
challenging wave of power out and Jasmin started shaking slightly as
she nearly lost control of her beast. I grabbed her arm before she
could hurl herself forward. Stopping her sufficed, but my beast all
but demanded I attack her from having come close to violating my
bond.

Brandon shot me a
satisfied smirk as Isaac moved up closer to my back. I knew the
latter wanted to spare Rachel from what was coming, but I shook my
head. Until and unless Rachel said the binding words I couldn't let
him help any more than I could help myself.

I'd spent my entire
life trying to amass the power needed to protect my family and my
pack, and I was just as powerless as ever. Cassie spat something else
venomous and pointless at Rachel, but it was evident Rachel was
starting to realize just how bad things could get. She was shaking
now, and almost tripped and fell when Cassie shoved her into me hard
enough to leave bruises.

The situation was
rapidly escalating out of control when someone stepped into the
buffer zone between the two packs.

Adriana stepped into
the circle, catching Cassie's attention and causing her to spin around
and confront the recent arrival.

"Take off."

Adriana shook her
head, clenching her fists a little tighter as she began trembling
ever so slightly. Isaac let out the briefest growl and I suddenly
realized that the racing heart and trembling could be interpreted as
something other than fear.

As she began to glow
even more brightly than she had a moment before I realized there was
a chance she was gearing up for a confrontation, and there was no way
for Cassie to be sure that she wasn't facing a hybrid.

Adriana leaned ever so
slightly into Cassie and uttered her first words.

"Leave her
alone."

It should have caused
Cassie to attack. She wasn't used to backing down inside her own
pack, and she'd shown a willingness to fight Jasmin despite being
woefully outclassed. For a second I thought she was indeed going to
knock Adriana to the ground, but then Brandon reach forward and
restrained her.

As quickly as that the
fight was averted. The spectators broke up as the two packs left the
cafeteria through separate doors. Rachel started into shock before
we'd even made it to the thicket of trees we routinely used when we
needed to discuss pack business while still at school.

Jasmin slipped an arm
around Rachel's waist and then all but carried her the last fifteen
yards. Isaac and Dominic crowded around her to make sure she was ok.
I wanted to join them, but my mind was spinning so quickly that I
was frozen in place.

Donovan had gone to
great lengths to try and train me to think beyond the immediate
obstacles, and I was creating contingency plans, picking and choosing
among ideas with a speed that sometimes didn't even allow me to fully
contemplate an idea before my subconscious had judged and discarded
it.