Too Much to Lose (28 page)

Pulling down his jeans, I
admire his strong legs as I tug the denim off. Then I stand and swallow, my
hands coming to the waistband of his black underwear. Breath held, I remind
myself I intended to take care of him, not lust over him. He’s spent so much
time and energy looking after me, I need to repay him. My way of apologizing
perhaps.

Gaze locked onto his, I pull
his briefs away and down. Thankfully his hypnotic eyes capture me and prevent
me from gawping as I push them down. He steps out of them, never looking away.
My hands shake when I splay them across his chest, unable to resist. I need the
warmth and vitality of him. I thought I’d lost that. His heart beating against
my palm sends soothing spirals of heat through me.

“Get in.” My voice is hoarse
from want but I’m determined to show him how much he means to me.

He dips his head in acquiescence.
The old-fashioned gesture makes my heart squeeze. Hunter climbs into the bath
and I can’t resist staring at his rear. The ridiculous notion of wanting to
bite into it strikes. I skim my gaze up and watch the muscles across his back
flex and pull. Tingles spread through me, straight to my sex, and I bite my
lip.

He sinks into the bubbles and
waits. I can’t tell if he’s teasing me or what but he seems to like me bossing
him around.

“Lie back then,” I say,
exasperation tingeing my voice. He’s not making it any easier and he knows it.

I grab a wash cloth and rub
down his arms and across his chest. He gingerly lifts his sprained arm to allow
me to clean the smell of hospital from him.

“Are you going to do my back?”
he asks as I finish wiping down his chest.

“Yes.”

“It would be a lot easier if
you were in here with me.”

“I—”

He’s right but there’s no way
I’ll be able to control myself if I get in. And Hunter does not need me jumping
all over him. He needs rest. Also I have to somehow prove to him how much I
care. As great as the sex is, I can’t keep my head straight. How am I meant to
show him I’m better than that when all I want to do is ride him? Sex is easy.
Feelings aren’t. But Hunter’s always been honest and accepting—with the
exception of hiding his job, of course.

Now I’m over the sting of it,
how can I hold a grudge? I kept far more from him—far more of myself from
him—while he took it all. My sordid past, my need to keep myself closed off
from others. He took it in his stride and responded with utter sincerity.

Which is more than can be said
for me.

“Get in,” he says softly,
snapping me from my thoughts.

“Hunter, you need to rest.”

“I can rest later. My back
needs washing. Get in.”

“Listen…”

He snatches my arm, his wet
fingers dampening my top. “What is there that you can’t tell me in the bath?”

I shake my head. “Lots. You and
I both know as soon as I get in the bath, we won’t be talking.”

“I’m not an animal. I can
restrain myself.”

“Yes, but I can’t.”

Hunter chuckles and swipes a
wet finger across my nose. “Princess, you know what? You’re good for a man’s
ego.” He sits up and pulls the hem of my top out of my trousers. “Now quit
wasting time and get naked.”

With a sigh, I stand, resigned.
Hair slightly damp, skin sheening, bubbles sticking to his legs, he’s
impossible to resist. And when he looks at me with such passion, I’m powerless.

I peel my top over my head and
get rid of my bra quickly. I don’t meet his gaze but I feel him tracking my
every movement. Once my trousers and socks are off, I take my time skimming my
panties down as I try to give myself a moment to gather my thoughts and plan
ahead. How am I going to get Hunter to understand how strongly I feel for him
without making a fool of myself and without succumbing to his seductions?

“Move over,” I tell him and he
slides forward, water sloshing over the edge.

I climb in behind him and sink
into the warm water. It eases my racing heart and I release a long breath. I
hadn’t realized how tense I was but it has been a long couple of days. With my
legs on either side of him, Hunter nestled between them, I smooth my hands over
his back and he groans.

“Jessie, I think your idea of
taking care of me is my idea of torture. I need to touch you.”

I wiggle my toes near his
thigh. “Touch me then.”

His sounds of agony makes me
laugh. He has no idea how hard it is for me not to climb on top of him and sink
him deep into me. But I’m determined to do this. I knead my fingers into his
back, massage the tense muscles there and work loose the knots. By the time I’m
done with him, I’m burning with need but I have my thoughts a little more on
track and he is definitely relaxed. His head lolls back when I push my thumbs
against the top of his spine and his sounds of appreciation send warmth into my
belly.

Snatching some shampoo from the
side, I pour some into my palm and begin to rub it through his hair. I winnow
my fingers through his dark locks and rub briskly at his scalp.

“Christ, that feels amazing.”

“Good.” I shuffle a little
closer until my breasts are pressed to his back.

“That feels even better.”

“I want you to feel good,
Hunter. You make me feel so good, I need to do the same for you.” I begin
rinsing the shampoo with handfuls of water.

“Jess—” He tries to turn but I
put my hands to his shoulders and start working on his muscles again.

“Shhh, I need to get this out
and I can’t have you distracting me.” His shoulders soften as he acquiesces.
“You make me feel better than… than I can ever remember. You also made me feel
really, really bad.”

“Princess, you know I—”

“But that’s because… because
well I love you so much.” Silence. I swallow. “I nearly lost you, Hunter, and I
don’t want to lose you again. You did something out of desperation and I
understand that now. Me, more than anyone, can understand that. And while you
were accepting of my bad decisions, I wasn’t accepting of yours. I hope you’ll
forgive me one day.”

He turns then, sending water
everywhere. My tongue dries, my resolve melts, like ice on a hot day. Hunter is
so insanely beautiful with his hair all spiky and damp and falling in curls
across his forehead. I put my hands to his shoulders—to hold him back or pull
him forward, I don’t know, but he makes the decision for me. One arm wraps
around my waist and lifts me easily onto his lap. I straddle him and feel the
hard heat waiting for me.

Using both hands, he smoothes
back my hair and holds my face so he can stare down at me. “We’ve both made bad
decisions and I didn’t deal with your actions any better than you did with
mine. It took me over a week to figure it out and to get over my ego.” He
presses the lightest of kisses to the corner of my mouth before pulling back
and looking at me once more. “We’re the same you see, Jess, you and me. That’s
why I love you so damn much.”

I don’t know what to say. I’m
still not sure I deserve him. But he’s right. We’re the same. Both determined
to follow our own paths, yet somehow they connected and there’s no going back.
I can’t imagine life without Hunter now.

“I love you too,” I finally
spill out, the words fractured and fragile.

“I love you.” He kisses me full
on the mouth this time, hold still strong on my face, making me feel protected
and desired all at the same time. “I love you,” he mutters against my lips.

“I love you,” I respond. His
mouth moves roughly across my face and his bristles drag against my skin in the
most erotic way, sensitizing me. “Love you… love you…” I repeat and he echoes
this between peppering kisses down the side of my neck and up to my ear.

“Love you always. Love you
forever. To the moon and back. More than that.”

I’d giggle if the words didn’t
sound so urgent and sincere—if they didn’t mirror everything I’m feeling.
Finally, he finds my mouth again but he pulls back before I can take the kiss
deeper.

“No one will ever understand
how much I love you.”

“I know. I feel the same way.”

With that, he takes my mouth with
a deep, soul-pervading kiss. It’s the best kiss of my life. It doesn’t hold the
excitement or the thrill of our first kiss but it’s like he’s pouring his love
into me. My chest expands, my heart swells. My mind drifts to some unknown
dimension where I’m frightened of nothing and excited by everything. The world
holds so much promise again and it’s all because of Hunter.

Hunter’s tongue presses
forcefully against mine, searching deeper, and I grip his hair to hold him
close. Our wet bodies slide together and the water swirls around us. His
hardness teases me and I rock against it, creating a tidal wave of water
building around us while the pleasure inside me does the same, growing until my
breath comes in pants and I can’t keep up with his kisses anymore. All I can do
is let him take it all as I move mindlessly against him.

He rips his mouth away. “Need
protection,” he mutters, panting for breath.

I reach back and as my back
arches, lifting my breasts, he secures his mouth around one tight nipple while
hooking an arm around my back. I shudder and fumble around until I find the
condoms I bought earlier.

“I can’t wait, princess. Is
that okay? I need you too much.”

“Yes. Yes, please.” I’m buzzing
with lust by now. I just want him inside me, as close as two people can be.

He lifts his hips and we sheath
him. Using his good arm, he manoeuvres me back onto his lap and with barely a
moment’s hesitation, he impales me. We freeze and shock burns through my system
at the intensity of it. He buries his face in my neck and I spread my hands
across the tense muscles in his back. It gratifies me to note our lovemaking
has the same effect on him as it does me.

I stroke the back of his head
and register his hard legs beneath me, his firm chest against mine and his
powerful arms enclosing me. If I didn’t want him so bad, I’d happily stay like
this forever. But I can’t. I need him deeper inside me right now. I move the
tiniest fraction and that sparks a chain reaction. Now there’s no holding back.

He lifts me and I drop down and
he’s in me, harder and deeper than before. We move together, seamlessly but
desperately, like old lovers who have been apart for years. I splinter quickly
as he pounds up into me. Shaking and gasping his name, I kiss him unsteadily
and the orgasm blows through me. With a few short thrusts, he utters a guttural
curse and follows me. We collapse together—sated. Only our heavy breaths and
the drip of a tap resonates through the room.

Hunter

I study the woman next to me,
curled up into my side. Her nose is buried against my ribs. I don’t know how
she’s even able to breathe like that. It always tugs at my heart seeing her all
tucked up in a little ball. The love I feel for this woman blows my mind. 
Three days of doing nothing but recuperating—well, and a little loving—in a
hotel room with her and I’m still craving more.

I came too close to losing her
though. She’s returning to work tomorrow now her sick leave has run out and
she’ll be back out in the world.

Exposed to danger.

I slide off the bed and sneak
into the bathroom, snatching my mobile as I go. Jess sleeps on, exhausted from
last night probably. The vixen sure knows how to keep a man on edge. With the bathroom
door closed, I flick on the shower over the bath and find Mitch on my mobile.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

“Where are you?”

“Bathroom. Look did you get the
info?”

“Yeah, I even rang it.”

“Is it him?”

“I believe so. Connor and I
followed him when we made the call.”

“Good.” While I’d been
recovering, Mitch and Connor had been doing my dirty work and it seems both of
them were better detectives than I thought. After digging up Lucas’s mobile
number, they were able to track him using his GPS thanks to the IT guy Mitch
keeps on contract.

“What are you going to do,
Hunter?”

“I’m going to get rid of this
guy once and for all.” I curl my hand over the edge of the sink and imagine its
Lucas’s windpipe instead.

“Tell me you’re not going to
kill him,” Mitch pleads.

“I’m just going to scare him.
Hurt him a little. You know full well the cops can’t prove anything. The bike
was clean of fingerprints. The only way to ensure Jess’s safety is to go around
the law. Hell, it’s not like he’ll go running to the cops after everything he’s
done.”

“Hunter—”

“I’ll throw around a few
threats, add in a few punches and I’ll send the guy packing. He’s not a big
guy, is he?”

“Nah, late forties, in decent
shape but nothing on you. We followed him around, kept an eye on him like you
asked, but listen… there’s been a murder over that way. I didn’t want to say
anything when we dropped your stuff off, but—get this—it’s an ex porn star.”