Too Many Rock Stars (Access All Areas #1) (4 page)

I’d thought Alex would be good when I listened to his demo but I had no idea how that would translate to playing live. It'd been a bit of a risk putting booking a solo act on a Saturday night but he'd really won the crowd over. He didn't just play guitar, he used it to manipulate the emotions of everyone in the room.

And he had a big enough fan base to make Chuck happy. All in all, a successful night.

I watched the final band of the night try to follow up on that performance but they fell flat. The audience had spent all their emotions on Alex and had nothing left to give. I guess that meant more bar takings though, so Chuck would be even happier. It bugged me that I had to even consider Chuck's feelings but if it meant the difference between him selling the club or keeping it going, I'd have to do just that.

I looked for Alex and saw him in the corner, deep in discussion with some guy, so figured I'd leave them to it. I wanted to congratulate him but that could wait. I needed to put the door money in the safe.

As I walked through the dimly lit store room, something grabbed my arm.

I screamed.

"Shhh, it's only me."

"Alex? What the fuck are you doing?" My heart pounded and anger rushed to the very surface of my being. He'd scared the bejesus out of me. I hated walking through that store room. The fucking light was always broken.

"I was looking for you. You disappeared."

"You shouldn't be here. It's off limits."

But Alex had his arms around me, pulling me closer. My heart still pounded but it wasn't just with fear this time. His breath was warm on my neck and his body pressed against mine.

"Is this off limits too?"

I wanted to say yes and push him away but I could barely breathe. That buzzing in my lady bits got more intense. I didn’t relax but I didn’t resist either. I just let him hold me for a while.

He put his hand on my chest and felt the pounding of my heart.

"I really did give you a fright," he said. His voice purred with a smugness at my reaction.

As he moved his face closer to mine, I could smell it. In his hair and on his body. Subtle but pervasive, that rocker smell.

I broke away from him.

"I need to get back to work," I said. "I'm not here to play around. And I have a no rockers rule so let’s keep it all business from now on."

I walked into my office and shut the door behind me. My brain kept saying to stay away from Alex. He was temptation wrapped up in a creamy package. Smooth as silk and totally tasty. I wouldn't let my guard down again.

Then Carlie came in for her break.

"How was Alex?" she asked.

"Amazing. Beyond amazing."

She punched my arm. "Whoa, you like him. You have a big thing for him."

"I have no big thing. Nothing. I just thought he performed well."

"Yeah, he'd perform well in the sack too, I reckon. He's packing a nice bit of man meat in those pants."

I glared at her.

"Come on, he has that leather wrapped so tight you can't help but notice. If you like him, Violet, go for it. Don't be a damn scaredy cat."

I had noticed but I wasn't going to admit it to Carlie.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Are you saving yourself for Razer instead? You've strung him along for long enough, don't you think?"

"I'm not stringing him along. I'm not interested in either of them."

"Yeah, right.”

Maybe I should go for it but Alex, he'd be just like the rest. Something in his music worried me. Sure, he was good. Brilliant, even. But it was a bit too masterful. Calculating. At times it had felt like he was playing a joke on the world and laughing to himself but then he'd turn on those soulful eyes and you'd feel like you were falling.

There was something in those eyes. Something that made my body zing like no one had made me zing in a long time. A buzz that pulsated more in my lady bits than in my heart. Still, pushing him away was the right thing to do.

I'd get nowhere thinking too much though. I had to run back upstairs and get back to work.

I walked over to the bar and got a drink, sitting down on a bar stool without a space beside me – to discourage Alex.

The band was almost finished playing.

Alex still hadn’t approached me when I finished my drink. That was a good thing. I didn’t need lightning bolts in my life.

When the band packed up, I went back stage and got them sorted and congratulated them on a top performance. I hoped it was top, since I honestly couldn’t recall much about it. I had to keep my mind on my job.

I walked out of the back stage area, casting my gaze around the room. I wasn't looking for Alex. He was the furthest thing from my mind. I just wanted to do a mental head count of numbers for Chuck, that was all.

The room was still packed but there was definitely no Alex in sight. I tightened my lips. I wasn't disappointed. Nope. Nothing like that at all. I was pleased. I didn't want to deal with his attentions. Maybe he'd found some other woman and had gone home with her. I could almost guarantee it. That's how rockers worked – they played the numbers game and someone like Alex wouldn't even need to hit up many numbers before he found someone to share his bed.

I shrugged. It was good that he'd showed his true colours before I got too involved with him. I was going to ask Babs if she'd seen him go off with anyone but I didn't even want to waste that much time on him.

The band room would be open all night with the resident DJ playing but my work was done so I went downstairs to drink with Carlie. Downstairs was much quieter. It'd gotten to the point in the night when most of the customers had paired off and were looking for dark corners to grope in. There were a few desperate souls cruising the room and the hard core drinkers at the bar.

I sat down and caught Carlie's eye. She argued with a customer over his drink order. The guy would want to shut up and put up because Carlie had that look in her eye that meant she was about to call security and have him bounced.

I glanced around the bar and noticed Alex, in the corner with Jackson. He actually had Jackson laughing. Nobody made Jackson laugh.

I turned my body so I wasn't looking at them. Instead, I watched a drunk guy trying his hardest to pick up a girl in the corner. He was trying way too hard. She wasn't interested but she was stringing him along.

As I watched, I felt the motion of a body slipping into the seat beside me. I wouldn't turn. I wouldn't check if it was Alex. I wouldn't even glance over to the corner to see if he'd moved.

But, when I turned back to get my drink, I realised it wasn't Alex. It was Razer.

As soon as Alex saw me with Razer, he came over.

Razer finished his beer and put his glass down on the bar so Alex finished his off and called for a whisky.

"Make it two," said Razer, a glint of rivalry in his eyes.

Razer had seen Alex play.

"It's shite, isn't it. You seem all grandiose but it's toying around. There's nothing real behind it. No raw emotion." Razer wasn’t known for holding his punches.

Alex rolled his eyes.

"Not caveman enough for you, you mean?"

And so the argument went. They'd gone from trying to impress me to forgetting me altogether in their attempts to outdo each other.

"What do you think, Violet?" Alex asked.

"Huh?" I’d tuned them out.

"Who do you pick? You've heard us both play. You must have a preference."

I held up my hands as stop signs. "Keep me out of this. I have no preference. I just work here and, with the way things are at the moment, my preference is for the band who brings the most punters in through that door. I need to keep my job and keep the place open."

Razer kept on with his reasons for being the best.

“Have you had anyone cry, genuinely cry because the song you are playing reminded them of the sweetest moment of their childhood? Have you ever had someone lose control? Jumping around like a crazy thing because the music makes them realise that day is all they have? It’s not just about playing chords, mate. It’s not about manufacturing emotion. You can fool people with that but you can’t fool their hearts. You have to get your hands dirty and you have turn nasty. If there’s something within you, a part you hate or you are scared of, or that embarrasses the absolute shit out of you, if that’s not in the music then it’s nothing.”

Razer surprisingly made a few articulate points. I’d never thought of Razer as being an articulate type of guy. I noticed Alex didn't respond though. He seemed to be miles away with his face twisted in thought.

Suddenly, he slammed his glass down on the bar. Loudly.

"Listen up. This is what we do."

I looked at him and even Razer stopped talking. Alex called Carlie over.

"We need a witness for this."

Carlie raised her brows in curiosity and left the customers she was serving to come down our end of the bar.

"We can argue all night and well into tomorrow over who is the better rocker," Alex said. "It proves nothing. We have to do this scientifically. It's like Violet says. The one who brings the most punters into the club is the best band. That is the way to prove it."

My tired brain ticked that over.

"Wait, that's balls," said Razer. "The one who brings the most people in is the best band? But what if One Direction played here? They'd bring in more people than either of us could. You saying that we are more shit than One Direction? Because those are fighting words."

Alex shot me a glance.

"Well, since One Direction aren't about to play here, it's a non-issue. It'll take me a month or so to get a band together and get them up to speed. So how about it? We take one Saturday night each and the one with the greatest numbers gets the prize."

Razer scratched his head.

"Works for me, but hey, what's the prize? Some lame 'best band' trophy? I don't need that shite."

So that's how this whole stupid thing started. And it was stupid, on the scale of stupid ideas in this world, their dumb idea was Nobel Prize winning stupid, if there was a Nobel Prize for stupid ideas.

"The prize is a date with Violet. She breaks her 'no rockers' rule for one night."

I jumped off my bar stool, backing away.

"No. That is bad. That is really bad. I'm not some trophy for you guys to fight over. I'm not an object that can be won in a competition. I'm staying well out of it. Do it for the kudos. Do it for the glory. Hell, I might even get Chuck to throw in a drink card or something. But leave me well out of it."

I folded my arms and glared from one to the other, daring them to challenge me. If they couldn’t read the anger in my face then they had to be illiterate.

"Wow, she really doesn't want to date you," Razer said to Alex. "She really hates you."

Alex laughed.

"More like you, mate."

I didn't even want to stick around and catch stupid disease off the pair of them but then Carlie spoke.

"You want to save the club, don't you, Violet? It seems like this would be the best way to do that. Even if you don't want to date either of these bozos, just do it for the club."

"It's not going to happen. You guys figure this out but keep me out of it. I will NOT be your prize."

I was beginning to hate the sight of Chuck. Every time he came into my office it was bad news. It wasn't like he was my favourite person in the world before but I'd mainly been Chuck-neutral.

He stood in the doorway, not entering my space.

"So Violet, I heard about this competition. I think it'd be a really good thing for the club."

"You do?"

Of course it was a good thing for the club but it would not be a good thing for me.

"We need the money. We need to get out of debt."

Suddenly it was "we". But it wasn't "we" who'd gotten into this trouble.

"You made the rules, remember. No dating the guys who play here. If I agree to this stupid thing, it will go against everything I promised you."

He scratched his head.

"I think we can loosen up the rules a little in this case. Jesus, Violet, there is no need to be totally uptight. Think about someone other than yourself."

I couldn't believe he'd said that. Chuck, the most self-centred man in the world. The one who constantly reminded me of my stupid mistake and made sure I never repeated it. I couldn't speak. The hate for him boiled my blood.

“Shit, Violet, it’s not like you’ve never done it before. You were damn quick to get into that other guy’s pants. Think of it as me giving you the green light. God, if I had a band, I’d go in running myself. I’d love to find out what’s at the top of those sexy legs of yours.”

I wanted to lash out at him. He was so wrong but I knew if I spoke, I’d regret it. My head pounded too much for me to form words.

“I mean,” he continued, “you are doing a bit to help out but you aren’t really doing enough.”

I couldn’t believe he was laying this all on me. The office walls closed in around me and I didn’t even want to breathe the same air as him. I had to get out of there. I had get away from this club before I said things to Chuck I’d regret later.

I bolted out of the club and hit the street before I realised it was raining. One of those summer showers that make the world into a steamy sauna. I huddled under a shop awning, wondering where I was headed anyway. Home was an option but it wasn't an option that would comfort me. I needed comfort after that talk. My apartment was just a place to sleep. I spent more time at the club than I ever did at home. I had a bed and some other furniture left over from the previous tenant. I think there was a stove there too.

What did other people do? Go to the movies? I hadn't seen a movie in years. I had no idea what I'd even watch. Go shopping? With no money in my wallet.

People rushed past me. It was peak hour, the time when normal people knocked off work and headed for the train. I watched them scurry by, all looking like they had important things to do and places to go. They seemed so alien to me. Going home to families or meeting friends for drinks.

I wanted to put distance between Chuck and me but all I could do was huddle under that shop awning.

I sensed his presence beside me before I saw him.

"What's up?" Razer asked.

"Your umbrella," I snapped back. "What's with the pink florals?"

He laughed. "I saw you rush out of the bar so grabbed this from the lost property box. Not the best choice, huh."

Even in my utter despair, the combination of his bulk with that girlie umbrella made me giggle.

“You look like an idiot.”

"Yeah, I do. But if it keeps the rain off, that's the main thing."

We both stood there in the rain looking at each, as though not sure what to do next. Should I just take the umbrella from Razer and head off? That seemed a bit rude when he’d actually tried to help. I should thank him but being nice to Razer just seemed weird. The way we played things was that he’d do something annoying and then I’d yell at him. If he didn’t do the annoying thing, I had no precedent of how to deal with him.

“Umm, thanks.” That was the right thing to say?

"Where are you off to anyway?" he asked.

I looked around me. "No idea."

But without even discussing it, the two of us started walking, huddled under that umbrella. My thin summer dress was wet and stuck to my legs as I walked but I'd been wearing my boots so my feet were dry. I had to walk so close to Razer that our bodies touched, in order for us both to be covered by the umbrella. Soon, our footsteps fell into rhythm.

Walking like that seemed crazy intimate. I had to repress my impulse to bolt from him or at least put some distance between us. His arm brushed against mine and I quivered.

As we walked, he told me a story about Dazza getting stuck in the toilet just before they went on stage once. In between laughing, I stole sideways glances at him. The hands wrapped around the umbrella handle weren’t musician’s hands. They were solid, strong hands. The kind of hands you could imagine creating physical things. Now Alex, he had musician’s hands, with long tapered fingers.

Maybe it was just an illusion created by the umbrella but I felt safe and protected in a way I hadn’t in a long time. Cars rushed past us and people scurried to get out of the rain but we walked slowly, not in a rush to get anywhere.

Ahead, I saw a huge puddle on the side of the footpath. I couldn't resist the urge. I ran up and jumped into that puddle, spraying water up around me. At the same, Razer had jumped in the puddle too.

"I haven't done that since I was a kid," he said.

"Me neither," I replied and laughed.

"Not much point me bringing the umbrella if you are just going to get yourself all wet anyway."

I ran to another puddle and stomped, splashing water up over him.

"Hey, watch it," he called then did the same to me.

I squealed but laughed at the same time. He’d be the one squealing when I got my revenge.

I saw a puddle up ahead and ran to it, knowing he'd follow me. As I ran for it though, my foot twisted under me. That puddle had been hiding a bloody great pothole. My momentum propelled me forward while my foot got stuck. I screamed in pain as I fell to the ground.

"Violet," Razer called. "Are you okay?"

He held out his hand to me to help me up. I almost refused, angry at the whole world for making me fall. My dress had gone from damp to wringing wet and probably torn and filthy. My palms were grazed but I took his hand.

As I tried to put weight on my foot, I screamed again. Shards of pain ran up my leg and I almost toppled to the ground again but Razer put his arm around me and took my weight.

"Can you walk?" he asked.

I shook my head, thinking he'd offer to call a cab or something. Instead, he swooped me up in his arms.

"Put me down," I said. "This is... it's wrong!"

Being carried like a baby was not dignified. I tried to scramble away from him but almost fell and I knew I couldn't walk. Instinctively, I'd put my arm around his neck.

"You can't walk and I'm not leaving you in a puddle, so this is the only choice."

"At least pull my dress down so I'm not flashing my knickers to the world."

He stopped while I adjusted my clothes then handed me the umbrella.

"You have your hands free," he said.

I folded my arms around his neck, one hand grasping my wrist and my other holding the umbrella. His breath on my neck tickled in a way that reverberated through my body.

"I think the rain's stopped now," I said. "I can put down the umbrella."

"Best you don't. You can never tell with summer rain. It's a sneaky bugger."

But his eyes twinkled and I think he made that up just so I'd cling tighter to him. Our bodies rubbed together, so hot that in the rain, steam rose from our skin.

He carried me down the crowded street, people parting to make way like water in front of a speed boat. I giggled and leaned against him, feeling slightly drunk even though I'd not touched a drop.

Finally, we got to my house.

"Are your arms tired from carrying me?" I asked.

"I could carry you another 20 miles," he said. "Maybe 30. I'd never get tired of carrying you."

His t-shirt was wet and covered in dirt from where I’d pressed against him. I had to have been even worse. Still, that wasn’t important.

I felt like all the weight of responsibility had washed away in the rain. The part of me that put the brakes on had gone. She'd be back but while the rain lasted, I could be someone else.

He carried me through the doorway as though I were a bride on her wedding night, and sat me down on the bed. Well, the mattress on the floor covered with an old Indian bedspread and chocolate-stained sheets. I noticed the smell, like I'd forgotten to put the garbage out. I always forgot to put the garbage out. Not a rotten smell but just a little over-ripe. And the cobwebs on the ceiling and the holes in the carpet. But Razer didn't seem to notice.

He went to the fridge.

"Do you have any ice?" he asked. "Anything at all?"

There was half a bag of frozen peas at the back of the freezer. I had no idea where they'd come from. I had no recollection of ever buying a bag of peas. He had to hack at them with a knife to get them out. Then he wrapped the bag in a tea towel and unzipped my boots. As he slipped them off my feet, I wondered that he could be so strong and so gentle at the same time.

The shock of the ice on my ankle made me jump.

"You'll have a nasty bruise," he said.

He sat down beside me and placed my ankle on his knee. He felt it to make sure it wasn’t broken. I wasn’t sure I trusted his medical knowledge but it just seemed sprained to me.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yep, years of playing sports in high school. This will be painful for a couple of days but you’ll be fine after that.”

I had to lean back on my elbows to support myself. The rain pattered on the roof and rivulets ran down the window panes. The ice on my ankle turned my foot numb. I squirmed.

"Don't move. You don't want to do any more damage. You'll need to keep it elevated too."

I nodded. As the throbbing in my foot lessened, I became more aware of him. The two of us in my barely function apartment. The way his damp t-shirt clung to his body and how the rain had made his hair curl slightly.

"What happened?" he asked. "If you don't want to tell me, that's okay but you were pretty upset."

I tried to sit up as best I could and told him what Chuck had said. Of course, I didn't tell him everything. There are things you just don't tell people.

Razer nodded as I talked. He understood.

"The only thing to do is to make sure he can't sell the place. We have to work together."

I gave him an appraising look.

"Hey, I want to save the place as much as you do. It's my people. We could play at any club in this city but that's where we started and we'll keep playing there forever."

"Even if you become a huge star," I asked.

"Even if I become the hugest star in the galaxy. There are some places that just feel real. Like family. Where you don't have to be anyone but yourself and other people don't give a shit. They want you to be yourself. It's comfortable and even the bad times are better there than anywhere else. That sounds stupid, I know. I can't say what I mean..."

I smiled, a shiver going through me at his words.

"I know exactly what you mean," I replied.

His gaze locked onto mine. A wave of desire shot straight to my soul like I'd known this would happen from the moment he picked me up. It was part of the crushing weight that something I loved might end, my need for comfort, the battering of the rain. Part of Trouble, which might soon be taken away from me.

He looked at me until I blushed and wanted to turn away. Something in his eyes made me feel like he could see things in my soul that I didn't know myself. I couldn't turn away though, I was too caught in the moment.

He gently lowered my foot to the bed, propping it on a pillow, then reached over and stroked my cheek. My skin felt like it was on fire and I couldn't breathe. My senses went haywire. I knew I should've told him to stop. My brain told me that was the right thing. I had to fight but the rain kept pattering on the roof and the droplets ran down the window and my heart wouldn't let me move.

The rain enveloped us in a cocoon and the outside world seemed so far away. It wouldn't hurt, just this once, in this moment, to give in.

When his lips touched mine, I almost jumped from the sensation. The wave crashed through my body, I felt like I’d drown. But he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer. The raindrops on the roof beat out a pattern that mirrored the beating of my heart and my stomach dropped like I was at the top of a roller-coaster, waiting to plummet out of control.

Our mouths became hungry with urgent kisses while my insides churned. This went against everything I believed in, my personal code of honour thrown to the ground and trampled but it felt good and right. I moaned with my need for more. He was trying to tell me something with his kisses, a whole story for me to read. I wanted that story to unveil itself to me. I pulled him closer and ignored the twinge of pain in my ankle, just to have his body against mine.