Too Many Rock Stars (Access All Areas #1) (11 page)

I fucked up. No two ways about it. I'd fucked up big time. Violet didn't even give me a chance to explain, she just swept off leaving me to stew in my own juices. The contempt that flashed in her eyes cut me to the bone.

It wasn't like I'd meant to be late to the photo shoot. I just hadn't realised it was that important. They way I'd heard it, a friend of Vi's was dropping by the bar for the afternoon and so we should come over some time after 2.00. That was fluid and not a firm commitment.

Apparently it was a firm commitment. A very firm one.

I left the bar feeling like shit and headed over to Phil's. Even Phil's hurt now that my baby was gone. I hadn't even seen Alex play that guitar and Dazza hadn't seen him with it either. He'd probably thrown her in the back of the cupboard and forgotten her, moved onto something new and shiny. Maybe I should've included that in the competition. Winner gets my baby.

The guys and I had been working on the song I’d written for Violet the night before. It was a killer song and I wanted to get it perfect. We'd not be playing it at the warm up gigs but I wanted to make it the highlight of the competition. The last song I played. Even if I lost the competition, she'd remember that song and she'd know how I felt about her. We'd cracked a few beers and played half the night.

Afterwards, I'd walked home in the darkness of 3am. The heat still rose from the street and the sound of someone playing blues music came out of an apartment somewhere. I walked and walked, dreaming about how Violet would react when I played that song. The song would reach in and grab her by the heart, shattering all those walls she'd built up. It'd be my chance to make her happy. Having her in my arms, smiling and with the world-weary look gone from her face, that was the image in my mind. And, sure, she was wearing those tiny little shorts she had on in her office and a singlet top stretched tight across her tits, because if you are daydreaming you need those details.

I'd crashed out when I got home, exhausted from rehearsal and walking.

You can bet I set the alarm on my phone. Honest to God, I did. I had planned to get up early and get myself all spiffed up for the photo shoot. But the bloody thing hadn't gone off. The battery on my phone had gone flat. I never remember to plug that thing in. I’d had no idea of the time until I jumped up and checked the clock on the oven.

Even then, thinking the time was fluid-like, I didn't panic. I chucked on some clothes I had lying on the floor and headed down to the bar.

Whoa, you'd have thought I'd killed a man from the reaction.

And that bastard, Alex, was all primped up like a Sunday roast. Wearing makeup and with an entire wardrobe of clothes to pick from. I had the clothes on my back and they were none too clean.

The chick doing the shoot though, Val, she was a sweetie. She did some photos of me and Alex together. I must've looked as rough as shit but I guess that's what it was about – pretty boy Alex vs rough as guts me. I couldn't get all dolled up like that even if I tried. I'd feel like a total cock.

Violet left some time during the shoot. I didn't see her leave. Never got a chance to talk to her. All I knew was that I'd done the exact opposite to what I'd wanted to do. Instead of making her happy, I'd put more worries on her.

"Smile," said Val. "We're trying to make this one a happy shot."

But all I could do was sneer.

Razer was a big shit, that was all. He'd slept in then rocked into the photo shoot like he'd done nothing wrong. I wondered if he even cared. Because I sure didn't. He could screw up his own career as much as he liked, so long as he didn't screw up the club – and my job – as a consequence.

Even when I got curled up on the couch, I couldn't sleep. Not with this anger coursing through me. I didn't even care what Razer did.

I punched the cushion I used as a pillow. It would not make itself comfortable. Damn cushion. Normally, it was so comfy.

I must've dozed off at one point though because I opened my eyes and the room had grown dark. I could hear things being set up outside. Obviously Chuck wasn't around because I'd have never been allowed to sleep. I bet Carlie had covered for me with the bands because it had to be getting late. I'd buy her something nice as a thank you. Maybe let her borrow my biker boots. She always wanted to borrow those boots.

"This is where you've got to." Alex opened the door. "If you want to be alone, just tell me."

I’d been dreaming about Alex. A soft and lovely dream where we were happy and things were good. The edges of that dream still clung to me so that I was more receptive to Alex rather than putting up the walls to keep him out.

I started to tell him to leave but realised it was just a reflex. I'd grown so used to repelling advances, I never stopped to consider if they were welcome. My feelings for Alex were complicated but simple in some ways. If I cut through the crap, I could actually see us working as a couple. We had the same values and the same outlook on life. The things that frightened me about Razer – his haphazard ways of doing things and the chaos – Alex was the exact opposite of that.

Maybe I should give Alex a chance.

"No, come in," I said.

He sat down beside me. Because of the crappy sofa, we both leaned into the middle, shoulders touching.

I bit my lip, not sure what to do next. I wished he'd say something. The beating of my heart seemed to expand to fill the room and I fought the impulse to jump up and ease the awkwardness until he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him.

It wasn’t unpleasant.

I gulped. I couldn't look at him and I wasn't sure where to put my hands. I was so bad at this stuff. He took my chin in his hand and turned my head so I had no option but to meet his gaze.

I'd resisted those eyes for as long as I could. I wanted to drown in them. I wanted to lose myself in the depths. He maintained eye contact just long enough to have me squirming uncomfortably on the sofa.

As he moved closer, I couldn't breathe. My chest tightened until I thought I'd pass out. Every nerve cell in my body zapped and zinged. He brushed his lips against mine, so lightly I wasn't sure if he’d really touched me or not.

I’d known that was coming but nothing prepared me for the response of my body. Alex was pure electricity. I could do this. I could be with him.

My arms went around his neck without me even having to think about it. I wanted to know what the full force of his kiss would be like.

He moved his body to press against mine as his lips brushed butterfly kisses against my neck.

I couldn't fight the feelings I had for him any longer. Since the moment he'd first walked into my office, he'd stirred something in me. Not love but definitely passion. A fiery, hot passion.

He kissed me properly. His lips on mine, still gentle but with a promise of more. A million thoughts flooded my mind, pressing together until they became a buzz of noise. Then he kissed me harder and all those thoughts flew away, like fireflies into the night.

His fingers caressed my face as his passion became more insistent. The only thought left in my mind was that I wanted him. I wanted this. He was the one I needed.

I tangled my fingers in his hair, moving closer to him.

Lust gushed through my body. These sensations, it'd been too long since I'd felt them. I pushed that time with Razer to the back of my mind. I would not think of that. Not think of him. My body melded into Alex's and I moaned softly.

Alex pulled away from me, scanning my face as though the answers to life were written there. He grinned, slowly, with a smile that screamed dirty sex. I wanted dirty sex. It's been far too long since I'd had dirty sex. I moved so that my leg was on top of his, giving him the signal to go ahead. Do what he wanted. I was ready and willing.

He stroked my thigh, running his fingers up the back of my leg in a way that had me bucking toward him. He was taking this slow but I needed a fast release.

Then someone knocked on my office door. What the fuck?

"Go away," I called out. "I'm not here."

"Violet, there's been an emergency."

It was Drew. Of course it was Drew. He was the only who'd knock on my door instead of just barging in.

"Can't someone else handle it? What about Hamish?"

"The power's gone out upstairs. He's trying to fix it but people are going nuts. No one knows what to do and Hamish is having a breakdown."

I disentangled myself from Alex and straightened my clothes. My sexy times would have to wait. This needed to be sorted.

With an apologetic smile, I followed Drew through the store room and up the back stairs. Alex didn't even try to stop me. I was grateful for that, as much as I hated to leave him, because I knew he understood.

"Later," he mouthed at me as I left. My heart flipped.

The bar had been beseeched with people and half the lights were out.

"Is the cold room still okay?" Mark asked me.

I wasn't sure but then I remembered I could hear the rumble as we'd come up the stairs, so I nodded.

"We're going to have to shut the place down for the night," I said. "Get everyone out."

I'd left my phone in the office, so I used the bar phone to call Chuck. He didn't answer. Of course he didn't answer. I left a message and told the staff to let me know if he called back.

I left them to deal with the crowd at the bar, not sure if it was better to get them all out as soon as possible or to keep serving them. So long as the drinks were flowing and the power to the bar was on, it wouldn't hurt to keep them happy. The drinks wouldn't stay cold for long, especially with them opening and closing the fridge doors. Mark had already started dumping ice in the sink to keep things cool. At least the bar staff were on top of that.

I found Hamish and asked him what had happened. He seemed to think it was a power short.

"If Chuck got a professional in to fix things instead of his dodgy mate, I'd be a lot happier."

Typical Chuck. Always causing problems.

"Do you think you can fix it tonight?"

Hamish just shrugged.

"If we can't get it done soon, we'll have to cancel the night. People are not going to be happy."

I turned around to see Drew still behind me, like a little shadow.

"Run downstairs and get all the staff up here except for Carlie. She can handle downstairs on her own."

He ran off and I went to sort out the bands. Which was my job, unlike the rest of it. I wasn't the bar manager and I wasn't the owner. I was just the band booker. Why was I the one dealing with this mess?

"What the hell's going on?" The singer of the headlining band grabbed me when I got backstage. "Are we going on or not?"

I told him as much as I knew and said I'd arrange some extra beers to be sent backstage. It was so not how I'd thought I'd be spending my night a few minutes before. Was Alex still sitting in my office waiting for me? With this shit going on, it wouldn't be worth it for him. I'd tell Drew to get him to go home.

Maybe this was a sign from the universe that I'd never get sex again but it sure made parts of me ache. I’d die without ever having sex again.

Alex was waiting for me in the bar downstairs. He hadn’t gone home like I’d thought.

We'd gotten the power back on upstairs but I sent the bands home. I wanted to get the electrics checked out in case they overloaded anything.

I'd promised the bands other slots and given them free drinks. The bar was still open but with no DJ. Everyone was happy. Except me. I was exhausted.

I slumped on the bar, burying my head in my arms.

Carlie reached over and patted me on the head.

"You should ask Chucklehead for a raise. Or make him get a bar manager. Like me, I'd be an awesome bar manager and then I'd get the raise. He's such a cheap bastard."

I raised my head.

"He knows we'll do it. We're the ones stuck here with the angry mob. We have to deal with things or we'll get massacred. Meanwhile, he just breezes in and collects the money and then gets himself into debt. The whole situation sucks."

Of course I had to do it. As much as I despised Chuck at times, he was the one who'd given me a chance when I'd screwed up so badly. I'd never forget that night. I’d fucked up so royally that I'd have not blamed him for kicking me out on my arse and making sure I never got a job in this town again. In any town. No matter what he did, I had to be grateful for that.

Carlie had put a drink next to me. A fancy, red drink with a straw in it.

"You look like you need something special," she said.

"Yeah, at least the red stuff will make me hyper."

Alex put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder. Carlie shot me a look but I ignored it. This was too new and too uncertain to define. My feelings for Alex might just be raging hormones that would settle down to nothing in the morning. Alex would understand that. He wouldn’t expect this to be anything more than what it was. I hoped.

I was going to suggest we leave when Razer arrived.

He quickly took in the sight of me sitting at the bar with Alex, the two of us all over each other. Even though he tried to hide it, the look of shock in his eyes made me reel.

My first thought was that he had no claim on me. If I wanted to let Alex put his arm around me, I could. Razer was nothing to me. It might even get him to back off. I shouldn't give a damn what he thought. If I wanted to spend time with Alex, I had every right to. I'd never made any promises to Razer. He was the worst possible option for me.

So why did I feel like someone had punched me in the stomach?

I turned to Alex, only to see the look of triumph he gave Razer.

Before I even realised what I was doing, I pulled away from Alex. That look had been like a bucket of cold water over my libido.

Suddenly, being with Alex didn't seem so right. The ground had shifted under me and I saw things from a different angle. As much as I ached physically to be with Alex, I didn't want to get entangled in some game between them, just a prize to be won and gloated over.

If I slept with Alex, it’d be a thing that was there between us. You can’t take that back. You can’t unsleep with someone.

That disappointment I'd read in Razer's eyes really threw me.

What I needed was to go home and have a cold shower and forget all about rockers.

“I’m out of here,” I said and stood up.

Alex started to stand up too.

“Alone,” I added.

Alex raised his eyebrows but sat back down. He glared at Razer but didn’t say anything.

“Dude’s totally cock-blocked you,” said Jackson with dry laugh.