Too Good to Be True (10 page)

I couldn't believe she even knew the word, but she did. And to make matters worse, she lifted up her blouse and showed everyone what she was talking about. I thought my Uncle Dusty was going to be sick. My Uncle Drew had to look away. To be honest, I didn't think it was possible to have a muffin top when you wear pants with an elastic waistband, but it is.

“I view this as a positive thing,” Gaga said when she was done with her demonstration.

I wasn't sure how having a roll of fat hanging over the top of your pants was a positive thing, but Gaga said her muffin top is a call to action. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” she said like she was talking to a studio audience. “Effective immediately, I am going on a health kick.”

She motioned to the buffet in the dining room. “The chicken tonight will be lightly, not deep fried. And instead of mashed potatoes, we will be having broccoli and salad.”

Then she picked up a Sports Authority bag and plunked it on the coffee table. “And I will be taking up jogging.” She dug into the bag and pulled out a pair of running shoes, some shorts
and shirts, and a pedometer.

Mr. Sherman put his fingers in his mouth and whistled. He might like the idea of Gaga cruising the streets of Faraway in a pair of Nike shorts, but it was more than I could bear. It was clear my cousin Amanda, who is in sixth grade but acts like she's in tenth, felt the same way, because she gave me the as-the-oldest-granddaughter-it's-your-job-to-set-her-straight look.

So I said, “Gaga, aren't you kind of old to make such a radical change in your life?”

I probably should have taken a more scientific approach and said something like, “Have you checked with your doctors? Maybe you should just walk the mall with the other grandmas.”

But I didn't do that, and when I said it, Gaga looked at me square on and said, “When you're finished changing, you're finished.” Then, while everyone else was eating chicken and broccoli and salad, Gaga gave me a very long speech about how if you don't like the way things are, you should do something about them.

Gaga loves nothing more than an opportunity to impart what she calls her “vast stores
of wisdom based on years of experience,” which just means that by the time she was done with me, my lightly fried chicken was freezing cold.

I can't sleep. I keep thinking about what Gaga said to me.

Even though she's strange in lots of ways, I think she's right when she said someone should do something about things if they don't like the way they are. I felt better after I talked to Matt. I don't like the way things are with Billy or Brynn or the girls on the dance team. I know I need to do something to make things better.

I just don't know what that something is.

This morning, I went to dance practice. It was our last Saturday practice before the fall show, which is on Wednesday. It should be such an exciting night, and I don't want the other girls on the team to still be ignoring me. I don't want Billy and Brynn to still be mad at me either.
We've hardly spoken for a month, and I miss my friends.

So when I finished dance practice, I went to the diner to talk to Dad. He's always been the person I talk to when I have a problem. Before he opened the diner last year, he wrote an advice column in the Faraway paper, so I have to believe he knows what he's doing when it comes to helping people with their problems.

When I got to the diner, Dad was busy with the lunch crowd, but when he saw me, I know he could tell it was important because he asked his assistant manager, Hal, to keep an eye on things. He took me back to his office and closed the door.

Dad sat down behind his desk. “What can I do for you, April?” he asked.

I looked around Dad's office. It's crammed with papers and boxes, which give it a very homey, lived-in feel that I like. There are quotes and recipes and pictures of pies taped to the walls. Dad keeps a bowl of Tootsie Rolls on his desk. I unwrapped one and started sucking on it. I wasn't sure what to say.

Sometimes Dad is like a mind reader. He
smiled at me in an understanding way. “Why don't you start at the beginning,” he said softly.

So I did. I took a deep breath and told Dad everything that happened with Matt and Billy and Brynn and Emily and Chloe, and how everyone on the dance team is mad at me and that it feels like my whole life was going so well and then it fell apart and that even though I know it sounds dramatic, I don't feel like I'll ever be happy again, at least not in Faraway. Then I told Dad I don't want things to be the way they are. “I just don't know what to do to change them,” I said.

Dad made a little tent with his fingers and put them over his lips like he was thinking. He was quiet for a long time. Even though he hadn't said anything yet, it felt good just getting everything off my chest.

Finally, he started talking. “April, you made a mistake. Your actions hurt other people.”

I didn't need Dad to remind me of that. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. But he kept talking. “Part of life is making mistakes. How you handle your mistakes makes the difference.”

“I tried to apologize to Billy and to Brynn
and to Chloe, but no one wanted to accept my apology,” I explained to Dad.

He nodded like he got what I was saying. “Sometimes people just need a little time before they're ready to hear what you have to say. It sounds like it has been a while now, and I think if you talk to your friends again, tell them how badly you feel, and sincerely apologize, they'll be open to listening.”

I shook my head. “I don't see how time changes things,” I said to Dad.

When I said that, Dad pointed to a piece of paper tacked up to the wall behind him. I read the piece of paper he was pointing to.
Let time be your best friend.

It's one of Dad's favorite quotes. I'd read it dozens of times before, but it never meant anything to me. Hopefully, I can make time my best friend . . . or it will be the only friend I have.

When I left the diner, I went to Brynn's
house. I could tell she was surprised to see me. “Do you want to go for ice cream?” I asked.

It's what we've always done when we need to talk, so I was happy Brynn agreed to go. On the way to the Cold Shack, neither one of us said much. When we got our hot fudge sundaes and sat down, I started talking first. “I've had a lot of time to think about what happened, and I know I really hurt you.”

Brynn winced like she'd actually been in pain.

“Brynn, I'm really sorry,” I said. “About everything.”

“I just don't understand why you'd kiss Matt after everything that happened last summer. I don't see how you could have done that to Billy,” she said. “And I really don't get why you would have talked to Emily about it and not me.”

“I don't know why I kissed Matt,” I told Brynn. “The truth is that it just happened.” It was hard to find the words to explain. “I get confused whenever I'm around Matt,” I told Brynn.

She looked at me in kind of a blank way when I said that, like she didn't really get my confusion. I wasn't sure I could say anything
that would get Brynn to understand, but I tried. “The reason I didn't tell you is because I knew how you would react.”

That definitely wasn't the right thing to say.

Brynn shook her head in a sad way. “April, you practically dumped me when you made the dance team. You hurt me, and you hurt Billy too.”

I didn't see what Billy had to do with this. Just hearing her say his name made me mad. Even though I had gone to apologize to Brynn, right then I knew I had to say the things I'd kept in the last time we talked.

“Brynn, I was upset too. I was hurt that you didn't even congratulate me when I made the team. As my best friend, you could have at least been a little bit happy for me.”

I hadn't planned to say what I did next, but it just came out. “I've also been upset because part of me feels like you have a thing for Billy. A more-than-a-friend thing.”

Brynn's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head. She'd never admit it, but I knew she knew I'd nailed it. I kept going. “It bothered me when you called him to watch us
dance, and then you went and talked to him about me behind my back. Do you know how I feel every time I see the two of you together in school, laughing and talking?”

I could tell Brynn didn't like hearing that. She sat in her chair, unmoving, quiet for a long time. She looked down at her melting ice cream. “April, I'm sorry I wasn't happier for you when you made the team, but it was hard for me.” She paused and then she said, “Billy and I have been friends for a long time.”

I waited for her to say she only likes Billy as a friend, but she didn't. She just looked at me like it was my turn. I knew that was as much as I would get from Brynn.

“You're my best friend,” I said. “I'm so sorry about everything I did that hurt you. I just hope things can go back to how they were.”

“It might take some time,” said Brynn. But she didn't look as mad as she had before.

I told her I understood, and we promised to be straight with each other. Then we hugged and ate our ice cream.

It was a start.

After lunch, I went over to Billy's house to talk to him.

Billy answered the door, and we both just stood there looking at each other and not saying anything. It was totally awkward. He's always so straightforward and honest with people, so I knew that's what I needed to be with him. “Billy, I'm really sorry about everything that happened,” I said. My heart still hurt when I talked to him. We sat down on his front porch. “Not a day goes by that I don't think about it,” I said. “If I could go back in time and do things differently, I would.”

It was the truth.

“I appreciate that,” said Billy. He bumped my shoulder with his, which I knew meant he really did accept my apology.

“You're not mad anymore?” I asked softly.

He shook his head and smiled at me for the first time in a long time. It felt good.

I took a deep breath. “I want to go back to how we were. I want to be April and Billy again,”
I said. I'd been thinking it all morning, but I hadn't been sure if I should say it. The moment just seemed right, so I did.

Billy sat there for a minute. Then he looked at me in a sad kind of way and shook his head. “We can't go back to how things were,” he said softly. I could tell that part of him wanted that too, but most of him didn't.

It might not have been what I hoped for, but I guess I wasn't surprised. It was what I expected. “Friends?” I asked.

Billy nodded like he could agree to that.

—Bette Midler

Today was the dress rehearsal for the dance team fall show. I had to talk to Chloe and try to straighten things out. I was going to do it when I got to the high school auditorium, where we were rehearsing for the show, but the minute I showed up, Ms. Baumann sent me to the dressing room and told me to get in costume for my first dance.

Everyone on the team was getting ready. Chloe was there, but she was surrounded by a bunch of other ninth graders who were all in the same dance. It wasn't the right time to talk to her. She was with all her friends. Plus, Ms. Baumann came in while we were getting dressed and told us it was time to start.

We went through all the dances in the first
half of the show. There were twelve of them including solos, ensembles, and the group dances. Anyone who wasn't dancing was sitting in an area backstage, and Ms. Baumann said there was to be absolutely no talking backstage when other girls were performing, so I couldn't talk to Chloe then.

When we went back to the dressing room to get ready for our second round of dances, Ms. Baumann came back with us and said that on show night, we would have exactly ten minutes to change during intermission, which meant there would be no time for fooling around. She timed us while we changed, and no one said a word. There was no way I could have talked to Chloe.

Then we went back onstage and went through the second round of dances. No breaks. No talking. Still no chance to talk to Chloe. When we finished, Ms. Baumann brought everyone onstage for the finale.

When we had gone through the whole show to Ms. Baumann's satisfaction, she sent us all to get out of our costumes and put them in the
labeled bags she had provided so nothing got lost. Then she gave us a final talk about Wednesday night and putting our hearts and souls into the show. Finally, she said we could go.

It was late, and everyone started leaving the auditorium. It was my only chance. Chloe was walking out of the auditorium with three of her friends. I would have preferred to talk to her alone, but there was no way that was happening. I ran up to the group. “Chloe, can I talk to you?” I asked.

The girls stopped and looked at me. My stomach was in knots. All I could do was sincerely apologize, like Dad said, and hope for the best. “Chloe, I'm really sorry about what happened.” I looked down at my shoes. “I know I hurt you. You told me you liked Matt. But honestly, things really didn't happen the way you heard it.”

My chest felt tight. It was scary explaining it in front of her friends. “I wasn't secretly going out with Matt. I kissed him once. I hadn't planned to kiss him at all, and right away, I wished it hadn't happened.” I clasped my hands together in front
of me. It kind of made me look like I was praying. I guess I kind of was. “I feel terrible about the whole thing. I'm really sorry. I just want to be friends with everyone on the team again.”