Too Far to Whisper (28 page)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“You are not staying here tonight?” Rosalind questioned Ben as he bent to put on his shoes later that afternoon.

“Mother feared that I would not eat properly while Faith is away at her sister’s, so she invited me over for supper,” he said. “I felt it was better for me to go over there, given the current situation, than to have her coming over here with food and discovering you and Shadow.  When I said I would be there for supper, Nellie and Elizabeth begged me to stay overnight. They said they miss my tales by the fire every night before bedtime. I agreed, because I suspected you and Shadow would like some time alone, for I am certain you have much to discuss. I would not, however, be allowing this if you had not told me of the Indian’s deep respect for you.”

Rosalind walked Ben to the door.  He stood in the doorway and looked past her at Shadow, who was busy stoking the fire. “You are certain you
will
be safe alone here tonight with him?” he whispered. “I shall stay without hesitation if you so desire.”

She smiled and gave her brother a quick embrace. “I shall be fine. Believe me, brother, unlike Nathaniel, Shadow can be trusted. Now, be on your way and I shall see you in the morning.”

“Take care,” Ben said. “Help yourself to anything you find in the kitchen if you get hungry.” He called a farewell to Shadow, then departed.

Rosalind closed the door behind him and latched it, then turned to look at Shadow. He had seated himself on a bench, his elbows casually resting on the table behind him, his dark eyes fixed on her.

“Hungry?” she asked, suddenly feeling awkwardly shy.

He nodded, his gaze unwavering.

“I shall see what’s in the kitchen and prepare something for us,” she said. She moved in that direction, but as she attempted to pass Shadow, he stood and blocked her.  He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her against him.

“You asked me if I thought my family would accept you,” he said softly. “But now I must ask you…do you think your family will ever accept me?”

“Well, it seems as if Ben already has,” she said. “But my mother has her heart set on my marrying the rich son a magistrate…not some savage heathen!” She smiled at him.

“Ah, but I shall make you so much happier,” he said, smiling in return.

* * * * *

Both the physical and emotional strains of the day proved to be too much for Rosalind, and shortly after she and Shadow finished their supper of corn and boiled potatoes, she found herself struggling to stay awake.

“If you do not mind,” she reluctantly said, “I really must get some sleep. I fear I am still not back to my full strength as yet, and this day has been an especially draining one for me.” She silently cursed her body for not being healthier and stronger, for she wanted to spend as many hours with Shadow as possible. Too soon she would have to return to Nathaniel and carry out her plan. Although she knew it was something she must do, she could not bear the thought of being separated from Shadow ever again, not even for one night.

“By all means, get some rest,” Shadow said, leaning to kiss her forehead. Although it pained him, he added, “I shall sleep down here. Do not hesitate to call out if you need anything.”

The moment Rosalind climbed into the cozy bed in the upstairs bedchamber and laid her cheek against the pillow, she fell into an exhausted sleep.

It was well past midnight when she awoke suddenly. The moonlight through the window bathed the chamber in a soft light, casting shadows on the walls. Briefly, Rosalind forgot she was in her brother’s house and not in her chamber at the Corwins’.

After blinking several times to clear the sleep from her eyes, she spotted him sitting on a stool in the corner of the room, his arms folded as he casually leaned back against the wall.

“Shadow?” she whispered.

“Did I wake you?” he asked, quickly moving to stand near the bed. “Forgive me, I did not mean to.”

“Nay, I awoke on my own.” She was acutely aware that he had removed all of his Indian garments and was wearing what appeared to be a pair of her brother’s tight knee-length breeches…nothing more.

“Is something amiss?” Rosalind asked. She struggled to sit up.

“I could not sleep,” Shadow said, taking the liberty of sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes caressed her face. “Nor could I bear to be separated from you. We already have spent far too much time apart.”

Rosalind remained silent, her eyes locking with his.

“I have been sitting here for nearly an hour watching you sleep,” he confessed. “I had intended to stay only but a minute, but you looked so peaceful…so beautiful…lying there, I could not tear my eyes away.”

Rosalind flushed at the compliment and silently prayed she had not snored or mumbled something foolish in her sleep. She lowered her gaze to Shadow’s chest, her eyes feasting on the smooth, muscular expanse of it. Desire swept through her like a raging fire, a reaction that caught her totally by surprise. Her eyes burned a trail upward, along Shadow’s powerful arms to his broad shoulders. She sucked in her breath.
Dear Lord, he is magnificent!

Shadow slid closer to her. He reached out and lifted her chin so he could read her face. Rosalind saw the undisguised desire in his expression and felt certain her own thoughts were as clear as if she had written them in enormous letters on the chamber wall. She and Shadow stared silently at each other, neither one moving, neither one wishing to break the spell with words. Shadow’s eyes contained a question Rosalind knew only she could answer. If she told him to leave the chamber and go back downstairs, she held no doubt that he would…and that would be that. But heaven help her, she did not want him to leave. Frantically, she wrestled with her conscience. No matter how desperately she craved Shadow’s touch, she could not ignore the fact that it was a sin for a man and woman to be intimate prior to marriage. Nevertheless, painful experience also had taught her that each of life’s precious moments should be lived to the fullest. Neither the past nor the future mattered to her…only the present. And at present, she wanted Shadow to make a woman of her…sin or no sin.

Sliding back down until she was lying on her back, Rosalind extended her arms to Shadow in a silent invitation.

Shadow needed no further encouragement. He lowered his body onto hers, his mouth capturing hers in a kiss so passionate, Rosalind felt the heat of it all the way to the soles of her feet. No longer did it concern her that she and Shadow were not husband and wife, nor that she was going against everything her parents and her religion had taught her. She could concentrate on only the feel of his solid, lean body pressed against her soft curves, and the heat of his lips and mouth as he kissed her over and over again.

Casting all of her inhibitions aside, Rosalind clung to Shadow and returned his kisses, parting her lips to welcome his searching tongue. A burning, driving need began to consume her, blotting out all remaining shreds of moral conscience – blotting out all but her fierce desire to ultimately become one with him.

A few short moments later, Shadow abruptly broke away from her and sat up. Rosalind stared up at him, her eyes wide and bewildered as she prayed that a sudden attack of conscience – as had been the case in the past – had not caused him to change his mind. She was certain she would die of humiliation if Shadow refused her now, especially since their last intimate encounter had been such a disaster. Her cheeks still burned whenever she allowed herself to think back to that night at Adam’s brother’s house.

Shadow witnessed Rosalind’s look of concern and knew she feared he might reject her again, but nothing was farther from his thoughts. She was so beautiful, so tempting, he could not wait to see, to caress, every inch of her silky skin. He reached down to lift up her nightdress and pull it off over her head.  Rosalind assisted him, sitting up so the garment could more easily be removed. She then lay back, naked and unmoving, her eyes fixed on him as his hungry gaze traveled down the length of her, lingering on the triangle of golden curls at the base of her flat belly before sweeping back up to fasten on the full swells of her breasts. Hastily, he tugged off his breeches and kicked them aside, then once again moved to lie on top of her.

Rosalind became keenly aware of Shadow’s nakedness as he slid up to capture her mouth in another searing kiss. Unlike that night at Adam’s brother’s house, there was no leather garment separating them now…only flesh against flesh. Rosalind knew that if she paused to consider…really consider… what she was about to do, she no doubt would panic. But just for tonight, she decided, she would allow herself only to
feel
, not to think.

Shadow’s tongue darted between Rosalind’s lips, probing the depths of her sweet, warm mouth as his hand slowly slid down to massage her breast, his fingers paying particular attention to its firm pink nipple, which he gently rolled between his thumb and forefinger. Rosalind gasped into his mouth, her body unconsciously moving against him, silently urging his hand to continue its manipulation.

Only when she felt the hardness of Shadow’s arousal against her thigh did she begin to have second thoughts about what she was doing. A frightening vision of Nathaniel mercilessly pounding into the red-haired wench flashed before her. She could not help but wonder, with a great deal of apprehension, if Shadow intended to take her in the same forceful manner. If he did, she held no doubt she would be torn apart.

Shadow felt the sudden tensing of Rosalind’s body beneath him and instinctively sensed she was concerned about surrendering her maidenhead to him. Although he was growing almost desperate to enter her, he was determined to hold back. He vowed not to give in to his body’s demands until Rosalind’s desire for him was so intense, so all-consuming, she would beg him to take her.

Breaking away from the sweetness of Rosalind’s mouth, he lowered his head to kiss the soft white column of her neck, his lips like small flames against her skin as they slowly kissed their way down to her breasts.  Skillfully, Shadow drew her nipple into his mouth and flicked his tongue across it over and over again. Rosalind shivered as his actions caused one deliciously new and thrilling sensation after another to ripple through her – sensations that no one had seen fit to warn her about – sensations that rendered her incapable of thinking rationally. She wondered if anyone ever had died from the sheer pleasure of them.

Shadow’s mouth continued down to Rosalind’s navel, his tongue dipping into it as his hand slid between her legs. He massaged the silky softness of her inner thighs, his deftly exploring fingers inching their way upward, where they continued to rub. Rosalind moaned in total abandon, unconsciously parting her legs to allow Shadow easier access. So great was her desire, he easily slid a finger into her, stopping when he reached the barrier of her maidenhead. He moved his finger in small circles inside her, causing Rosalind to rotate her hips beneath him, encouraging him to continue. He could feel her hot, wet, inner walls clasping around his finger as if attempting to pull it in more deeply.

Instead, Shadow broke away from her and rose to his elbows. Gazing down at her, he paused to drink in every feature of her passion-flushed face.

Rosalind cried out in protest. She did not want even one moment to pass when his body was not touching hers. Desperately, she reached up to grasp him around the neck. Then, with a strength born of her passion, she pulled him back down on top of her. Clinging to him, she feverishly covered his face and mouth with kisses.

Shadow suppressed a smile as Rosalind, her breath coming in short, excited gasps, her hips moving in circles beneath him, whispered only one word – the word he had been waiting to hear…“Please.”

There was absolutely no doubt in his mind. Rosalind was ready to be made a woman…
his
woman.

Rosalind wondered how long Shadow would continue to torture her. Was he too blind, she wondered, to see how urgently she wanted to feel him inside her? Did he intend to prolong her suffering until she was forced to actually voice her desires? She felt certain that the “ache” of which her brother and Nathaniel so often had spoken, paled in comparison to what she now was feeling.

Clearly reading Rosalind’s thoughts, Shadow at last positioned himself between her legs, his knees urging them farther apart as slowly, carefully, he entered her. Although every fiber of his being was urging him to swiftly take from her what he so urgently craved, his concern for Rosalind forced him to hold back. When he reached the barrier of her maidenhead, he paused.

Rosalind was certain that Shadow’s unbearably slow penetration would drive her mad. She wanted him to sink his full length into her – to quickly rid her of her virginity. She could not help but consider the irony of her desires. For years, she had mourned the loss of her precious maidenhead, yet now that she knew she still possessed it, her only desire was to be rid of it in all possible haste.

Shadow sensed Rosalind’s impatience, but still he held back. He could feel her internal muscles clenching and unclenching, urging him to break through the thin wall that separated girlhood and womanhood. Still, he fought against it. Rosalind was offering him a gift – one she could give only once – and he did not want her to ever regret choosing him for that honor.

Rosalind bit back a cry of frustration. The time had come, she decided, to be bold – to no longer wait for what she wanted. With fierce determination, she thrust her hips up at Shadow with such force, he plunged into the very depths of her, brutally tearing her maidenhead asunder, his pelvis smacking against her.