Too Busy for Your Own Good (42 page)

Don't exaggerate or use inflammatory generalizations
. “I'm so mad I could just quit.” “You never . . .” “You always . . .” “I wish just once you'd . . .”

Be brief
. Remember, shut up sooner and longer. Let him think about his answer, even if it takes a day or a week.

Summarize
. Get to the point, if you have one. Try, “This will take five minutes. . . .”

Be direct
. If you haven't noticed by now, any form of hinting will fall on deaf ears. Therefore, when making a request, ask directly: “Would you . . . ?” as opposed to “Could you . . . ?” Even after all these years with my husband, I'm still caught when I ask, “Can you take a look at my right front tire?” and Lynn smiles as he answers, “I could . . . do you want me to?”

Avoid inquiring about feelings
. Asking what a male feels rather than what he thinks is often interpreted as personal and inappropriate in the workplace.

The point is not that men and women don't communicate well, but that with the difference in brain structures and hormones, it's a wonder that they communicate at all!

At a recent small gathering of high school chums, I was chatting with Steve Frates, who was the leader of the really-smart-kids group. He created a public policy analysis company that employs the brightest of the bright. I asked his opinion of how someone could have an advantage in today's competitive workplace; he believes that it's important to become “a digital native versus a digital immigrant. You must adopt digital technology as if you were born into it.”

These days everything seems to have a computer chip in it—your phones, television, vehicle, and even your refrigerator. Being resistant to change can only hold you back in your career and your life, so you might as well embrace all the new technological advances at your fingertips. Treat yourself to that new GPS, PDA, or whatever other gadget could make your life less busy, even though the learning curve may be steep. Take it a step at a time, and soon you'll be hanging with the really smart kids!

As a digital native, you will eventually hear someone say, “It's not
if
your computer will crash, it's
when
.” For all their help and time-saving capacity, gadgets with chips in them have an erratic way of giving out on you at just the wrong time. (Is there ever a good time?) Even if you have a great IT department or your favorite geek sits close by in the office, you must protect yourself.

I listen to my favorite tech guru, Leo Laporte, online and on the radio. His program has taught me so much over the years. He's always preached, “Back up, back up, back up!” Now I understand that if you don't have a backup in at least two places, you're not backed up.

I live in a small town with an old infrastructure and the odd power outages, so I have an automatic online backup, plus I use little portable drives, burn CDs, and back up to an external drive. I may be obsessive about backup, but when I spend hundreds of hours on a project, I want to balance myself by having fun with my husband or my horse, not redoing a project. Your company may have policies and procedures in place, but as extra assurance and balance,
back up for yourself
.

I'm always on the lookout for people to add to my “tribal elders.” I can't encourage you enough to find mentors in
every step of your life. During my first job as a waitress at Knott's Berry Farm, I learned speed and accuracy from the founder's daughter, Cornelia Knott. When I was a new graduate nurse, an elderly doctor who once treated Humphrey Bogart deciphered hospital politics for me. My “adopted” grandmother modeled for me the business savvy she learned from working full-time owning a non-union anchorage in San Pedro (the harbor for Los Angeles). My friend and goal buddy Luke Yankee recently sent a fan e-mail to a widely published, famous photographer. Within minutes, he heard back and was invited over for a visit at his home!

You may think that a CEO or wildly famous author wouldn't want to bother with “little ol' you,” but here's a secret: It is an incredible honor when someone wants to sit at your feet and soak in your experience and knowledge. It's easier than you think, but there is an art to approaching possible mentors.

State why you thought of contacting them: “I just read your interview in the
Wall Street Journal
.”

Give a
brief
bio of yourself: “I'm a new MBA working at ABC Industries.”

State what you admire about the person: “I admire the way you cut costs but kept jobs.”

Mention connections you have: “As an Eagle Scout like me . . .”

Ask for a personal meeting: “I would love fifteen minutes of your time.”