Tonight and Forever (5 page)

With a fevered moan Justin lifted his mouth from Lorren’s to draw much-needed air into his lungs. “I can’t handle too much more of this,” he whispered roughly, burying his face in her neck and breathing a kiss there. “I just knew it would be like this. I just knew we’d be good together.”

His words zapped Lorren back to reality. No! They wouldn’t be good together. After what had just happened between them, there was no doubt in her mind he’d be better than good. But she knew with that same certainty, she’d be a disappointment to him. How could she have forgotten that one elemental fact about herself?

Suddenly anxious to escape his presence, she twisted out of his arms, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Justin, but I don’t sleep around.”

Justin’s eyes grazed a path from Lorren’s swollen lips to the stubborn set of her chin. The woman had transformed the act of kissing into a work of art. At the beginning she’d seemed unsure of what to do, which he’d found strange for someone who’d been married before. But in no time at all she had him indulging in pleasure so wonderful, it felt almost sinful. She had enjoyed their kiss just as much as he had. But he had picked up on the fact that what he’d seen in her eyes was more surprise at the effects of the kiss than recognition of the results of it. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she had never been properly kissed before.

“And I don’t sleep around either, Lorren,” he said quietly. “As a doctor, I know just how rampant AIDS is. I’m a firm believer you should think twice before going to bed with just anyone.” He took a step forward. “While I don’t go in for one-night stands, I don’t have anything against an affair.”

A lean, dark finger caressed her cheek. There was such an awe-inspiring beauty about her, with her mouth slightly swollen from his kiss and her face tinted with desire. “I think we may be headed for one,” he said softly.

“No.” The response was fast from Lorren’s lips.

Justin’s reply was even quicker. “Yes.” His dark eyes held hers. “You’re attracted to me just as much as I am to you, whether you’re willing to admit it or not. Think about it.”

“There’s nothing to think about,” she replied curtly.

“I believe differently.”

Turning, he walked out the door.

“W
hy do men think they know everything?” Lorren asked Syneda as they sat at a table in Sophie’s Diner.

Syneda looked up from her meal. “I guess it’s a man thing.” She raised a brow. “Is there a particular reason for this little episode of male-bashing? You’ve been on a roll since we got here.”

Lorren took a sip of her soft drink, then regarded her friend through lowered lashes. “No reason.”

The look Syneda sent her was pointed. “Let’s not get cutesy, Lorren Nicole Jacobs. We’ve been through too much together. The disappointment of my father not coming for me, your schoolgirl infatuation with Carlos Nottenkamper, and last, but not least, your bummer of a marriage to Scott.”

Lorren raised her eyes heavenward. “Thanks for reminding me of that last one.”

Syneda smiled sweetly. “Couldn’t pass up the chance. So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, or will you keep me guessing?”

Lorren tried pulling her scattered emotions together. When she spoke, her voice was low and unsteady. “I’m attracted to Justin Madaris.”

“For crying out loud, Lorren. Tell me something I don’t know. Have you forgotten that I’m the one who called a cab for you the other night. It was obvious at Mama Nora’s party the two of you were attracted to each other.”

Lorren shook her head. “No, Syneda. You don’t understand. I mean
deeply
attracted, to the point that I’ve felt things.” She dropped her voice lower, her words barely more than a ragged whisper. “Physical things.”

Syneda stared at her friend for a moment. She would have grinned at the bewildered expression on Lorren’s face had she not known the depth of her anxiety. “Oh, Lorren,” she said softly, a tender smile dancing across her lips. “Honey, you’re supposed to feel physical things when you’re attracted to someone.”

“I didn’t feel anything physical like this for Scott.”

Syneda sighed. “Then
that
should tell you something, shouldn’t it? When will you realize that Scott Howard didn’t walk on water? In my opinion, he didn’t walk on land either. He crawled around on his belly like other snakes.” She smiled. “So, you’re really attracted to the good doctor, uh? Well, hallelujah! It’s about time you’re attracted to someone. Now maybe you’ll stop overprotecting yourself because of what Scott put you through and get on with your life.”

“You act as though I haven’t dated at all since my divorce. I’ve gone out with numerous men.”

“Numerous men?” Syneda asked, drawing out the words slowly. “Don’t make me get hysterical. What you dated were numerous wimps. The only competition you got was from their mamas. Face it, honey, Justin Madaris is no wimp.”

Placing her elbows on the table, Syneda laced her fingers under her chin. “Why are you fighting your attraction to Justin, Lorren?”

Lorren took a deep breath before answering. Syneda was one of the few people who knew most of the details of her breakup with Scott. “You know Scott’s accusations. You know all the things he said about me.”

“Yes,” Syneda answered softly. “And I’ve told you a million times not to believe any of it. He said those things to hurt you. Hurting you was the only way he could cover his own feelings of inadequacy.”

Lorren took another sip of her drink before responding. “I really wish I could believe that.”

A wry smile tilted the corners of Syneda’s mouth. “Do more than believe it, Lorren. You can prove Scott was wrong.”

Lorren’s brow shot up. “And how am I supposed to do that?”

“You know the answer to that. The way I see it,” Syneda continued, “there’s only one thing left for you to do. Sleep with Justin.”

Lorren’s mouth dropped open at the calm, easy way Syneda had made the suggestion. “Syneda Tremain Walters! Are you out of your cotton-pickin’ mind?”

“No, but you’ll be if you don’t make an attempt to find out the truth once and for all. So what’s the problem?”

Lorren glanced at her friend sharply, wondering if the onion burger Syneda had just eaten had gone to her head instead of her stomach. Syneda didn’t believe in casual sex any more than she did. “For your information, Syneda, Justin Madaris
is
the problem. He’s not the type of man I want to get involved with. It’s bad enough he’s my neighbor, but I simply refuse to let—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up a minute. Did you just say Justin’s your neighbor?”

Lorren shifted uneasily in her seat. “Yeah, but that doesn’t—”

“Hold it right there. Let me get this straight, girlfriend. Justin’s out there with you, all alone, in no-man’s-land?”

“It’s not no-man’s-land.”

Syneda gave her a half smile. “All right, all right, so it isn’t no-man’s-land. The two of you are out there all alone in the boondocks?”

Lorren raised her eyes to the ceiling. “Evidently there’s a point to all of this. If so, please make it.”

“The point is, I think Justin Madaris is exactly what you need, a man with experience.”

“Syneda, a man with experience is the last thing I need. His expectations would be too high. I couldn’t handle it if another man was to tell me how worthless I am in bed.”

Smiling through the sadness she felt for her friend, Syneda said, “As far as I’m concerned, the person who told you that lie wasn’t a man, but a snake. Now tell me, what have you and Justin been doing out there all alone?”

Lorren took another sip of her drink. She hadn’t seen Justin since the morning he had prepared breakfast for her. That had been two days ago. She’d expected him to show up uninvited again with the pretense of wanting to go swimming, or being a good neighbor by checking up on her. When he didn’t, she’d become confused at her mixed feelings of both relief and disappointment.

“We haven’t been doing anything,” she finally replied. “I haven’t seen him much.”

“Well, don’t look now, but the good doctor just walked through the door. He’s seen us and is headed this way. My-oh-my, it should be against the law what that man does to a pair of Levi’s jeans.”

When Lorren turned to look at Justin, she had the irrational urge to bolt out the door. She felt trapped, and a shiver swept down her spine. The mere sight of him did strange things to her.

“Good afternoon,” Justin greeted, stopping at their table.

“Justin, what a pleasant surprise. Come join us,” Syneda said, a smile curving her lips.

He returned the smile. “Thanks.” He sat down in the chair next to Lorren. A waitress came to take his order. “Hi, Sunnie. Just give me the usual.”

Justin and Syneda went into a round of topics, ranging from the weather to foreign affairs. Lorren contributed to the conversation only when asked a direct question. For the most part she tried ignoring Justin’s presence. However, every time his gaze lingered on her, she was reminded of his parting words to her the other day.

“We’d love to. Wouldn’t we, Lorren?” Syneda asked.

Lorren blinked. “What? I’m sorry, I’m afraid I wasn’t listening. My mind was elsewhere.”

“Justin invited us to a cookout Thursday night, and I’ve accepted,” Syneda said, giving her a meaningful look. “That will be great since that’s when I’m staying overnight with you.”

Lorren shrugged. “Fine.”

The waitress reappeared at their table. Lorren and Syneda declined dessert, but Justin ordered a slice of strawberry shortcake.

“There’s nothing like an onion burger from this place to set you back. I’ll probably have indigestion for weeks. Any good advice, Doctor?” Syneda asked, grinning.

Justin smiled. “A teaspoon of baking soda mixed with water. It’s a homemade remedy that works.”

“I’ll give it a try,” Syneda said before glancing at her watch. “Well, I hate to run, but I’ve got to go.”

Lorren looked up startled. “Go where?”

“Shopping. But there’s no reason for you to leave, too,” she replied, with eyes twinkling in devilment.

Syneda turned to Justin. “Thanks for the invitation to the cookout.”

Justin stood when Syneda got out of her chair. He smiled. “My pleasure, and don’t worry about your bill. I’ll take care of it for both you ladies.”

“Thanks. That’s kind of you. I’ll see you guys later.”

Lorren felt abandoned and thoroughly set up by her friend. Looking across the table, she found Justin’s eyes on her as he sat back down.

“How have you been, Lorren?”

“Fine.”

“Are you almost all settled in?”

“Not quite.”

Justin held her gaze with his for a few moments. “So you decided to go swimming the other day after all.” It was a statement, not a question.

Lorren’s eyes widened. “How did you—” she began, then broke off as she realized what the only possible answer to her unfinished question could be. He’d been at home. “I, ah—”

“You what, Lorren?”

She hesitated before answering. “I didn’t know you were home. Your car wasn’t parked out front. I assumed you had gone somewhere.”

Justin leaned back in his chair. A slow smile touched his features. He sensed her nervousness. “Most of the time I keep my Vette parked in the back, under a shed. Texas weather can be murder on a good paint job. And to answer the question you didn’t complete, the reason I know you went swimming is because I saw you.”

And what he’d seen had been a sight to behold. He’d been sitting at his kitchen table, which overlooked the lake, reading an informative but boring medical journal article. For some reason he’d glanced up and caught sight of her. Whatever information he’d been reading abruptly faded from his mind when he’d received the jolt of his life. Of course, he’d known she had a shapely figure. The black dress she’d worn at Ms. Nora’s party had clearly emphasized that. But the swimming suit she’d been wearing had knocked the breath out of him. All he could do was stare. He couldn’t pull his gaze from her. He had all but devoured the vision of her wet curvy body, admiring every inch of it.

Lorren shifted her chair. “I, ah—” she swallowed. “After you left, I changed my mind and thought the swim would relax me.”

Justin studied Lorren’s well-manicured hand tightening around the glass of soda. “Did it?”

Lorren lifted a brow. “Did it what?”

“Did the swim relax you?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much.”

He smiled. “I’m glad.”

Lorren’s throat suddenly felt dry, and she took a huge swallow of soda. Justin seemed amused, not irritated, that she’d gone swimming alone, less than an hour after turning down his invitation to go swimming with him.

“You have nice strokes.”

Lorren almost choked on her drink. “Excuse me?”

“Your strokes are nice. You’re a good swimmer.”

She studied him intently. “You must have seen a lot that day.”

Smiling, his teeth flashed white against his dark skin. “Yeah,” he said huskily. “I saw enough. And I was very impressed with everything I saw. Every bit of it.”

Lorren bridled at the double entendre.

Before she could dissect his words, he bailed himself out. “With your swimming, of course.” He grinned lazily, certain she knew her aquatic ability had nothing to do with his remarks.

“Of course,” she returned stiffly.

“Have you given any thought to what I asked you the other day?”

He saw her tense at his question. Her eyes met his candidly. “As I told you, there’s nothing to think about.” She stood. “Well, I’ll be seeing ya.”

“Where’re you headed?”

“Fred’s Garage. I had my car shipped here from California. It arrived this morning with a flat tire.”

“Wait up and I’ll walk with you partway,” Justin said, signaling the waitress for the checks. “My next patient isn’t due in the office until three.”

Lorren glanced around the crowded diner, with its clinking dishes, faded wallpaper, and aromas of home-cooked meals. Over the years, it appeared very little had changed, including Sophie’s clientele. There were still the truck drivers, senior citizens, and some of the younger locals who enjoyed Sophie’s down-home country breakfast in the mornings, her mouthwatering lunch at noon, and her delectable soulful spread at dinnertime. Her sweet potato pie was worth dying for.

“Ready?” Justin broke into her thoughts.

“Yes. I really don’t need an escort,” she said to Justin when he ushered her out of the restaurant.

“I know, but I need to walk off lunch anyway.”

They were both quiet as they strolled along the sidewalk. More than once she was drawn closer to his side in order to let people pass. And each time she was acutely aware of him holding his ground so their bodies would brush against each other.

Lorren tried concentrating on her surroundings. Some years ago the citizens of Ennis had decided to preserve their historic downtown. As a result, after extensive development, renovation, and restoration, the numerous buildings lining Main Street had undergone some degree of revitalization, preserving a bit of the historical nostalgia of her favorite part of town. It had become the central business district.

“Here we are,” Lorren said, upon reaching Fred’s Garage. “That’s my car over there,” she stated, pointing to the dark blue Camry. “It should be ready now. It’s been here since this morning.”

Justin nodded. “Even so, you’d better check to be sure. I’ve discovered punctuality and timely service aren’t Fred’s strong points.”

Lorren couldn’t help the smile creeping into her features. “You’re right. I guess some things never change.”

“And some things will in good time,” he replied, his eyes fixed on her. The true meaning of his words was all too clear. “If your car isn’t ready, let me know. I’ll be glad to give you a lift home.”

“Thanks, but that won’t be necessary.”

“How about going swimming with me this evening? The only patient I have is the one scheduled at three.”

Lorren hooked her thumbs in the pockets of her jeans and met Justin’s gaze. An idea began forming in her head. What if she agreed to become involved with him? Or at least let him think she had. How would he handle it if her preaffair requirements were more than he was willing to agree to? Would he suddenly back off? Was she brave enough to pull off such a stunt? The thought was insane, but if there was a possibility it might work and get him to leave her alone, then…