T'on Ma (31 page)

"I don't know. I'm sure the soldiers know what to do. They might just be looking for a good place to get out of the storm."

Nan nodded. "Yeah, probably." Storms made her nervous and she felt edgy. Lana noticed and tried to think of some way to distract her.

"Are you from the settlement we just passed?" Lana asked.

"That
place. No! That place is
awful!
My folks' place got burned out and they got killed. I've been looking for work or something ever since. Been slowly making my way east, toward civilization."

"Oh. Well, perhaps Shreveport will have what you're looking for."

"I hope so."

They sat there silently, struggling to keep their balance as the wagon jolted down the rough trail. The two women tried to ignore the storm.

"I saw you looking at my ring," Lana said. "Want to see?"

"Oh, I'd love to." Nan moved to sit next to Lana. Holding up Lana's hand, she gently touched the ring.

"I've never seen anything so beautiful in all my born days," Nan exclaimed. "What are the red ones?"

"The red ones are rubies. The blue ones are sapphires."

"And the white one?"

"That's a diamond. This is my wedding ring. My husband had it made special."

"Goodness. You must be rich."

Lana laughed at that. "No. Not rich." Her distraction was working, the storm nearly forgotten. "Do you want to try it on?"

"You mean, you'd
let
me?" Nan looked at her in astonishment.

"Of course. Just give it back, all right?" They both laughed while Lana pulled the ring off and gave it to Nan. Slipping it on, Nan held it up to inspect her newfound, though temporary, wealth.

"I feel like the Queen of England," she gushed.

A clash of thunder boomed immediately overhead, instantly followed by wicked lightning searing the ground near them. The terrorized horses bolted and careened down the muddy trail. The trail turned but the horses didn't. The soldiers tried desperately to stop the runaway animals, but to no avail. They plunged off an embankment that led to a river. Horses, wagon and people flew through the air, dashing on the rocks below.

Liam stood facing his commander, receiving orders in the colonel's office.

"We've received a report of an accident involving an Army wagon and possibly Army personnel. It's about three days east of here. Take a detail with a wagon and investigate."

"Yes, sir." Liam saluted and, as he walked out of the office, tried to shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Lana left almost a week before. Surely, this had nothing to do with her. Within the hour, he led his detachment out of the fort.

The trip east proved non-eventful. When Liam reached the settlement, he found the person who had reported the accident. The young man led the cavalry to the site where deep ruts ran off the road and eventually over the embankment.

Thanking him, Liam sent him back home, telling him, "We'll take it from here."

Liam sent scouts up and down the embankment. It took over two hours to find a safe route to the river, and the sun had almost set when Liam arrived at the scene. The first alarm went off in his heart when he saw a dress that looked like one of the new ones he had bought Lana. Walking over to it, he picked up the pink fabric from the rocky river bank and stared at it. No matter how hard he wished otherwise, he knew the dress was hers.

"Lieutenant!" his sergeant called out.

Carrying Lana's dress with him, Liam walked over to the sergeant. Wordlessly, the man pointed to the ground. There, behind busted boxes and sprung suitcases lay a young woman's torn body, her face beaten beyond recognition. As Liam forced himself to walk closer, he saw her wedding ring - the ring he had specially made just for her - the diamond and rubies and sapphires sparkling cruelly in the light.

"Oh, God! Lana!" Liam didn't remember going to his knees - or screaming. He wanted to hold her, to
make
her wake up, but the sergeant wouldn't let him, as he held Liam by his shoulders. Her body was too badly decomposed from the heat and humidity.

"Sir? - Sir!"

Liam looked up, as if he didn't know where he was. "What?"

"We need to make camp for the night. Don't you think?" The sergeant hoped to give the lieutenant something else to focus on.

"Yes, I suppose." Liam slowly stood up, all life gone from his eyes. "In the morning, make three caskets as best you can out of the busted wagon. That will do to transport the bodies back to the fort. Bury the horses."

"What about her things?"

"Gather up what you can find. I'll take them back to her parents."

"Yes, sir."

"And, Sergeant, unless it's an emergency, don't come looking for me tonight. I'll be down the river." Liam handed the pink dress to him.

"Yes, sir. Want me to bring you supper?"

"No." The distraught young officer answered too quietly. When the sergeant turned away to give the orders, Liam knelt beside her body and, jaws clenched, removed her ring. Kissing it once, he put it in his top pocket and then, after covering her with a blanket, stood up to walk away, leaving his soldiers to their gruesome tasks.

Somehow, his numb legs carried him a half-mile down the riverside. He stared at the water for a long time as the sunlight faded and the stars came out. Liam refused to let his mind think or his heart feel for as long as he could. But, in spite of himself, the pain rolled in like thunderclouds, black and billowing, full of wind and fury and inescapable destruction.

"Why?" he whispered to the moon.
"Why?"
he asked the stars. "WHY!" he shouted at God. None of them answered. His mind went red, the anger and rage bursting from him like an erupting volcano, spewing from his mouth in curses and cries.

Hurrying over to a large tree, he rammed his fists into it, first one and then the other. "Damn it! Damn it to hell!" His fists, not feeling the pain, pounded the rough bark, one punch after another. With his feet splayed apart, his torso twisting, each jab was accompanied by another curse. For several minutes, the uneven bout continued - man against tree. Suddenly spent, he flung his arms around the tree and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Lana, no! Baby, no! I need you."

Placing his back against the trunk, he slid down to the ground, hopelessly lost, eternally empty, the sorrow so heavy he couldn't get enough air in his lungs to breathe. Time passed by unnoticed. The moon rose and set; the constellations moved across the heavens. Somewhere in that time, Liam fell asleep, sheer exhaustion taking over.

"Lieutenant?"

Liam jerked awake, startled. For a split second - one merciful split second - he didn't know where he was or why he was there. But then it came rushing at him - the fanged sorrow, the black, airless grief - and wrapped its life-sucking tentacles around his soul. Liam looked around him, at the ground, at the river, and then up at his sergeant as he tried to get his bearings.

"Yes?"

"Sir, I just wanted to make sure you were all right. There's coffee on back at camp."

"Thank you." When Liam put his hands on the ground to stand up, a sharp pain made him wince. Looking down, he saw both hands were a bloody, blackened, swollen pulp.

The sergeant noticed them at the same time. "Sir, why don't you come with me and I'll tend to those."

"I suppose you'd better." Liam slowly stood up, the muscles in his back, neck and shoulders sore and stiff, making his first few steps awkward.

"The men wanted me to tell you how sorry we all are about your wife."

"Thank you." Liam sounded expressionless.

"We've already seen to her casket and her things are collected."

"All right."

"And if there's…"

"Thank you, Sergeant, but I'll be fine." Liam stopped any further discussion. "As soon as everything is ready, we'll ride."

"Yes, sir."

Somehow, Liam made the trip back to the fort with his composure intact. Somehow, he gave rational orders and spoke in coherent sentences. At the fort, he requested and was given permission to take Lana's body to her family's homestead. Since he would be transferred soon, he didn't want her buried at the fort where she wouldn't know anyone. She needed to be home.

"Pa, we've got a visitor," Jake announced as he walked into the barn.

"Who?"

"Can't tell. He's in a wagon, though."

Joshua and Jake stepped out into the yard to look. As the wagon got nearer, Joshua broke into a wide grin. "Why, it's Liam! Go tell your ma."

When the wagon pulled into the yard, Joshua's grin slowly faded as he watched Liam get down. Something in Liam's demeanor worried him.

"Mr. Cooper," Liam walked over, hand extended.

"Now, it's Pa, remember?"

Liam said nothing to the lighthearted admonishment. The two men silently faced each other, one wondering what was wrong and the other unable to tell him. As Joshua tried to read Liam's eyes, the light in his own died.

"I - I'm so sorry." Liam finally spoke, wishing that the tear he felt in the corner of his eye would disappear.

"Liam, what is it?" Joshua looked alarmed.

Turning to point to the wagon, Liam said quietly, "I've brought her home to stay."

Joshua felt his heart stop, but he made himself look into the back of the wagon. At the sight of the casket, he slowly turned back to Liam.

"No! Tell me no!" he demanded.

May stepped into the yard, excited at the company, but one look at the two men, and she ran to the wagon. She screamed and dropped to her knees, her hands over her heart, as if she were trying to keep it from exploding in her chest.

Rocking back and forth on the dirt, inconsolable, her wailing brought the others out. It took a long time before they understood - before they allowed themselves to understand - that Lana was gone.

Liam reached for May, pulling her to her feet. Taking one look into his sad eyes, she flung herself into his arms, holding him tightly, as if that would bring Lana back.

"What happened to my baby? What happened to my little girl?"

Joshua took May by her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. "Come here, sweetheart." Looking over his shoulder at Nathan, he said, "Get the whiskey out. All of it."

"Yes, sir."

"Paul, Jake, take the wagon into the barn and take care of the horses. Then come to the house." Laying his hand on Liam's shoulder, Joshua said, "You'd better come in, son."

They all gathered around the long table, waiting for Liam to tell them why they were in this nightmare. What happened? He told them all that he knew, which wasn't enough. After explaining about his new orders sending him to Boston, and Lana leaving to visit with his parents in Georgia until his arrival, he told of the accident.

"Apparently, there was a bad storm. The wagon left pretty deep ruts when it went off the road. They went over a steep embankment. None of them survived; not the people, not the horses." Liam looked around the table at the grief-stricken faces, knowing his looked that way, too. Reaching for his top pocket, he pulled out the ring, and set it in the middle of the table.

"I took her wedding ring off her hand when I found her. I want you to have it." He pushed it toward May. "She would want that."

May burst into fresh tears as she stared at the ring. As lovely as it was, she knew she would never wear it.

"There's something else," Liam said softly.

Liam pulled a worn letter from his back pocket and handed it to Joshua. "Lana wrote this letter over two months ago. I promised her I'd get it to you before I left for Boston." His voice cracked at the end, making it difficult to finish the sentence.

Joshua stared at the letter in his hand, not knowing what to do. When he looked at his wife, she was staring holes into the letter. It had been written before Two Hawks had been captured, before Lana and Liam argued about her living in Georgia with his parents. It had been written when circumstances had been happier between them.

Joshua slowly sat down beside May and pulled the lantern closer for its light. With thick, trembling fingers, he broke the seal and unfolded the paper.

Dear Ma and Pa,

Can you believe it? Two of your children are married! And one of them is me! I must tell you that Army life isn't too bad. The other wives here have made me feel welcome. Please tell Christina that I finally went to my first quilting bee. Goodness! What a bunch of gossips we were. And, with the wives' help, Liam and I have a house full of things we need. I've even gotten used to cooking on a wood stove instead of the fireplace.

Liam is such a wonderful husband! You were right, Pa. He's smart and generous and kind and loves me as much as any man has ever loved his wife. I'd even say that he loves me as much as you love Ma. And that's saying a lot because I've seen how you two still look at each other when you think us kids aren't watching.

Ma, remember you told me that I'd have my own wedding ring one day? You should see the ring Liam gave me. It puts the sun to shame, it is so beautiful. Maybe one day, you'll get to see it. I'll let you try it on if you promise to give it back.

I met Liam's parents and one of his sisters when they came for a visit last week. I don't understand their ways, but it's important to Liam that we become a family, so I am going to do my best to fit in with them.

Liam is going on patrol tomorrow, and I hope he can make it to you to give you this letter. I worry about him when he's gone. So much can go wrong. The one small comfort I have is that he isn't alone out there. But if anything happened to him, I would die. I just know I would.

I'm running out of paper, so I'd better close. I love you all more than life itself and I miss you so much! Sometimes I sit on the porch and cry when Liam's not home. Please take care of yourselves and hug each other for me. Write when you can. I love you!!

Your daughter,
Lana O'Connell

Joshua folded the letter and pushed it to the middle of the table. Christina buried her head in Nathan's chest, sobbing. Jake ran to his mother and clung to her, unashamed to cry at his age. The family sat around the table in tatters, unable to speak, unable to move.