TogetherinCyn (16 page)

“What are you talking about? What reality? Don’t leave when
everything is so upside down. We can work through this,” Jared pleaded.

I didn’t want to hurt either of them but this was too
important to decide while riding such an emotional rollercoaster. “I’ve got
decisions to make.” I shook my head, unwilling to be swayed.

Jared scoffed. “What the hell kind of decisions to make?”

“How about if I’m going to be okay with you tying me up? And
you have a whip, don’t you? You can’t tell me whipping me, flogging me while
I’m bent over and helpless hasn’t crossed your mind.”

“Every fucking day,” he blurted.

“Do you think that appeals to me now?”

“But, Cyn—”

“I feel damaged and don’t have a clue which end is up right
now.”

“It’s all about trust. We can work through this.”

“No, it’s not all about that. It’s about love too. So I need
you to
trust
that I know what I need. I’ll never be able to think
clearly with the two of you hovering and that’s exactly what you would do. Have
some faith I won’t hurt you in the long run. Either of you.” I squeezed my eyes
shut, blocking out this horrible night for a minute so I could get through the
rest of what I had to say. “I need some time to myself and I don’t want you
guys to barge in if I’m not ready. So…I need my spare key.”

Jared’s face fell and swiftly changed to anger. I’d hurt
him, and when I looked at Chris, he appeared empty. I didn’t want Chris
assuming his past was the reason I was leaving, but before I could get the
words out, Jared cursed.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I leave for a few
minutes and when I come back, everything’s turned to shit. Will somebody tell
me what the hell is going on?”

He glared at us until Chris spoke up. “Give her the key and
we’ll talk. There are some things I need to tell you. Things you should have
learned a long time ago.”

After a few seconds of silence punctuated only by harsh
breathing, Jared wrenched his keys from his pocket, found mine and threaded it
off the chain with jerky motions.

He laid it in my palm but firmly held my wrist when I tried
to move. “We aren’t done, Cyn. Not by a long shot.”

“I hope not, Jared.”

Desperate emotion linked the three of us but I couldn’t
handle it any longer. Not tonight.

“You remember the room that was always locked at our
parents’ house…”

I walked out. I wanted to slam the door. I wanted to curse
and stomp my feet at the injustice of it all. I wished for a do-over for
tonight and for Chris so many years ago—and for Jared’s reality crumbling
behind me. But yanking the door closed wouldn’t fix anything and it surely
wouldn’t solve any of the questions I now had to answer.

Rather than causing a scene, I pulled the handle until it
latched into place. Never in my life had a noise that quiet sounded so final.

Three weeks later, I was alone in the brothers’ apartment,
looking out the windows at the entry to the club.

It was a fitting place to see Jared and Chris again, since
this was either going to be a new beginning or the beginning of the end. An apt
location to lay everything on the line for the two most important people in my
life. I wasn’t going to lose them without a fight.

My phone went off with the call I’d been waiting on. I
answered it immediately. “So did you give it to them?”

Jenna snickered. “Oh yes, I did, and I was lucky to get out
of there alive. They grilled me like a steak when I entered the bar, even
before I handed them anything. Not like that’s any different. They’ve
interrogated me every chance they got when they learned we were hanging out.”
Wind whistled in the background. She had the sunroof open on her Mustang, I
bet. “But as we agreed, I didn’t say a word other than the package explained
everything.”

“Thanks, Jenna.”

“Anytime, sister. Well, other than eight o’clock in the
morning.”

I laughed despite the nerves. “I needed someone to be my
cheerleader the past few weeks and you’ve stood with me through it all,
especially the trip to the police station. I didn’t want to do it alone.
Certainly don’t know how I can ever repay you.” After I walked out of the club,
I called Jenna and asked her to go with me to the PD to press charges for the
night before—and formally file charges for the incident two years earlier.

“If you’d gone alone, I’d have been so pissed. It took balls
of steel to decide to prosecute. I’m so proud of you. Plus, Chris and Jared,
they’re good guys. Jared was pissy for a few days at Chris for some reason.
Kept mumbling about him being a dipshit for keeping secrets, but it wasn’t my
business so I kept my head down and made no eye contact.”

I had been terrified about how Jared would handle the news.
I wanted to be there for them but I’d had to get my feet underneath me after
that night.

“They’re still hellaciously grouchy in general,” Jenna
continued, “but I’m sure that has something to do with the fact that a certain
woman won’t return their calls. I’ve waited forever for those two to admit they
need you. As more than a simple friend, that is. Anything I can do to help them
pull their heads out of their asses and admit the rest, I’m all in. Plus, I’ve
needed a partner in crime for years. I’ll think of something you can do to
repay me.”

“Lord, that sounds…scary.” I expected some flippant
response, something light and funny, but instead she went quiet.

“These past couple weeks, they’ve been so different. They
told me the world had lost its brilliance. I ached for them and I thought I was
immune.” Her wistful tone caught me off guard.

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened? Why you keep refusing
the date Nick keeps asking you for? Why you keep shooing everyone away when—”

“No reason, just not interested.”

I couldn’t let her ignore this any longer. “Then why do you
call for Ian at night while you sleep? I heard you several times at your apartment
and once in the hotel when you stayed with me.” The sound of the wind whipping
past the phone filled our connection.

“I don’t.” The tone of her voice made me weepy.

“I’m here when you’re ready. Okay?”

Her response was barely more than a whisper. “’Kay.”

A soft sniffle filtered across the line, followed by a
short, barked-out laugh, and I understood she wasn’t ready to talk. My
situation had taught me that everyone has to come to terms on their own time. I
was determined to be there when she decided it was her time to heal.

She laughed more genuinely. “They’re breaking several
traffic laws trying to get to you.”

“You’re following them?” I squeaked, sweat beading along my
skin.

“Well, duh. How else was I supposed to fulfill my 007
fantasies? Hey, what was in the package I delivered? Just tell me it was
naughty pictures of you and my work here will be done.”

I shook my head at her though she couldn’t see me. “It was
my diary and two keys.”

“Your diary? But didn’t they read it all?” She
downshifted—they must have exited the highway.

“They read it cover to cover the first time but I’ve added a
few entries. Things they needed to understand.”

“Did you tell them you quit your job and about the
townhouse? I’m pretty sure I saw Jared yelling into his phone the other day
about the moving truck. He saw it in front of your townhouse with you nowhere
in sight.”

“The phone message they left after that was a doozy.
Especially asking at the gym and being told I had quit two weeks ago.” It was
time I let them know what I’d decided. What I was willing to give up and what I
needed from them in return.

“You were more than welcome to stay at my place but it’s
probably good you stayed in a hotel. They showed up at my house right after
they left the gym. They wouldn’t leave until I let them search the whole
place.”

My thoughts froze when Chris and Jared raced down the drive
in Chris’ truck. Sunlight glinted off the windshield and my heart thudded hard.
I caught Jared searching for me from the passenger seat. “Always knew they’d come
for me. They always do. And if they can’t agree to meet me halfway? I’m all
packed and ready to find somewhere new.”

“And the keys?” she asked. Her car came into view after the
guys were already out of sight. I imagined the door slamming in the garage and
hoped they were sprinting for the elevator.

“They’re for my collar. I had it modified with two locks.”

The door opened and the men I hoped were my future strode
in.

“I have to go,” I whispered as Jared and Chris stalked
forward.

“Good luck,” she said as I flipped the phone closed.

Jared took it from me and tossed it on the couch as Chris
laid my diary on the coffee table next to my purse.

“I’ll love you both with everything I have and I will never
walk away again, but I won’t do it alone. I don’t know how I’m going to react
to some of what you want but I’m willing to try. If you’re willing to open your
heart…” I looked at Chris as he moved closer. “I’ll fight for us. I’ll love you
enough for both of us until then.”

He cupped my cheeks, laid his lips against mine and I prayed
it wasn’t for the last time. He paused for an eternity then said, “I love you.”

I jerked away, holding onto his wrists, trying to find
something steady since the entire world had shifted on its axis. He let me see
him. Inside him. Never flinched, never looked away. He was an open book for the
first time in my life. “But you said…”

He kissed me again, silencing me, claiming me. He rubbed his
nose along mine until I sighed. “I lied about not loving you. I loved you as a
scrawny little thing in pigtails. I loved you when you were nothing but a pesky
girl in junior high. I loved you while we were away on missions and I’ve loved
you every day since. If I admitted it and you ever walked away…I didn’t think I
could live through it.”

“Oh Chris.” I could barely form the words.

“But being without you these past weeks… I couldn’t live
with myself if you left and didn’t know.” He thumbed away my tears and I bathed
in his attention. “I love you, Cyn. I will love you until I take my last
breath.”

“I love you,” I cried into his shirt and he hugged me close.

“Hey, what about me?” Jared teased.

Chris kissed my temple and actually chuckled.

Jared made love to my mouth. I clutched at his shirt. The
smell of his cologne permeated my senses. “God, I’ve missed you, blondie.”

I captured his full bottom lip between my teeth. I pushed my
tongue past his lips, flicking it against his. “Missed you too. I was worried
about you. I’m glad you two are okay. And I’m glad the club is okay after that
night. Jenna tells me you’ve had an influx of applications but the secrecy of
the club is still somehow intact.”

Jared said, “We were worried the rumor mill would get wind
of it but several of our cop friends are members and strongly reminded Bryce of
the confidentiality agreement he signed. We could sue and that’d be real tough
to fight from a jail cell. It’s his third offense and apparently he didn’t want
his
good name
dragged through a trial. We thought about going public
with what we are, and if something changes with the case, we may need to, to
protect you, but what happens here is consensual and private. Everyone has
different needs and desires and that should never be ridiculed. It should be
cherished and nurtured.”

“I figured that out. I was so wrapped up in peoples’ perceptions.
Plus trying not to end up like my parents. I couldn’t stop and truly admit what
I wanted, needed—to please you both. If you’ll be patient with me, I’ll try my
hardest to learn how.”

“You don’t have to try, Cyn. You please us with everything
you do.” Chris retrieved one of the keys that had been in the envelope along
with my diary. “You said in your diary that you had the collar altered.”

I nodded and picked up my purse. “I had a jeweler remove the
broken metal and replace it with high-tensile bronze. Plus, he added a lock
that needs two keys.”

“We never knew we were destined for one woman, Cyn.” Chris
lifted the collar and Jared gathered my hair up and away from my neck.

Completeness washed over me when the collar settled against
my throat. I seized my hair, holding it out of their way. The guys inserted
their keys and my heart broke free at the unmistakable dual snap of the lock
clicking home.

I focused on them again; then Jared placed a small,
black-velvet box in my open palm. I lifted the lid and my jaw fell open. The
most stunning engagement ring I’d ever seen was nestled in the satin fabric.

“There are three square-cut diamonds. The larger one in the
center is you and we’re the two surrounding it. The ring is a combination of
three intertwined bands. One gold, one sterling silver and one bronze that
matches your collar.” Jared pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it on my
finger with a kiss.

“It’s beautiful.” I sighed, unable to say anything else.

“We’d already decided we weren’t going to live without you
any longer. I’m glad you made it easy on us,” Chris added. He kissed me,
gifting me with love. “Also, we told the owner of the townhouse we’d be moving
here permanently. I hope you don’t mind living here. We think we can grow the
club into something great and want to be here full time.”

I gawked at the ring on my finger, grinning from ear to ear.

Jared added, “And we’ve hired a new manager for the bar. We
want to be here…with you.”

“So will you marry us?” Chris seemed unsure as they each took
one of my hands. “We don’t care which of us has our name on the paper. We’ll
know when you say ‘I do’ that you’re marrying us both.”

A high-pitched noise rattled the windows and it took me a
minute to realize it was me. I jumped up and down before flinging myself at
them. “Yes,” I shouted as I kissed them.

Several long, charged minutes later, we all stood panting as
we fought to get closer.

“You are extraordinary. Someone able to take our darkness
and relish it,” Chris uttered against my mouth and rushed me to our bedroom. I
felt Jared behind me.

“You make it hotter. You make it burn brighter because it’s
what you need too,” Jared added.

“I need you like I need air. These weeks have been awful but
I know I can stand on my own. And I know I don’t want to be without you. I’m
not going to lie and tell you I’m not scared but I’m not going to let that fear
rule my decisions anymore. And I’m not going to run if things get intense.”

Chris promised, “And I won’t keep things that I’m worried
may hurt you from either of you. We’ll handle what comes our way together and
be stronger for it.”

We shed our clothes in record time.

“From this day forward, we make a pact to be honest with
each other,” Jared said. He marched to the front of the bed, naked and aroused.
He held his hand out like we did when we were kids. I yanked my last sock free
and made it over to Jared just as Chris did.

“No more secrets,” I agreed, laying my hand on Jared’s. The
air crackled with the pulse of electricity surrounding us and I stared at the
men I had waited my entire life for.

“Agreed, and we’ll fight our demons together,” Chris
confided.

He kissed me, grinding his cock against my abdomen. I
stroked his dick but it slipped through my grasp. He maneuvered around the bed,
tossing the pillows and comforter off. He jerked wrist restraints up and tossed
them on the bed. My heart skidded to a halt.

Jared came up behind me, running his hands along my torso.
He rubbed his stubble against my shoulder. I blocked the world out and breathed
in deep as he said, “Baby steps. We’re starting with baby steps tonight.”

I couldn’t focus on being afraid with his lips on me. He
brushed my hair over one shoulder and kissed up my neck, nipping and biting
along the way. His tongue trailed along the edge of my collar. I tilted my hips
against him. He sank his teeth into my earlobe then nibbled on the sensitive
skin on my nape. He twisted me around and gathered my wrists together in front
of me.

I watched as he bound my wrists. He secured them together
using a two-column tie. It was beautiful. I glanced up, completely confused.
“But…the restraints on the bed…” I cast a quick peek over to the bed and froze.

Chris was sprawled across the center of the mattress. He had
finished attaching one of the restraints. He must have sensed my attention
trained on his movements. He put his free wrist by the cuff on the other side
as Jared stood me beside the bed.

“What are you doing, C? Why are you doing this?”

Jared bound his other wrist.

Chris spoke rapidly. “I’m not going to ask you to conquer
your fears if I’m not strong enough to do the same. You say you want me to let
go but I’m terrified I’m going to hurt you. God, Cyn. Some of the things I want
to do to you…”