Toad Away (3 page)

With my crook leg, he thought desperately, and Charm weighed down with presents, we'll never catch him. And even if we do, we probably won't be able to calm him down, not even if we use a golf club.

“Goliath!” called Limpy, as loudly as he dared.“Stop. You can't attack a whole suburb on your own.”

“I don't think he's attacking the whole suburb,” panted Charm. “Just that building.”

Limpy peered into the distance. Up ahead was a building that sprawled the length of a big car park. It was the biggest building they'd seen yet.

“That must be the human leader's house,” said Limpy.

Goliath was heading for it, waving a sharp stick.

“Come on,” said Limpy. “We've got to stop him.”

The human leader's house had hundreds of cars parked around it.

“He must be very important,” said Limpy. “To have so many visitors.”

Plastic bags were blowing around in the car park. Limpy and Charm hopped into one for disguise and crinkled their way toward the building, weaving and zigzagging to avoid the cars and other vehicles, which were mostly big wire baskets on wheels.

“These baskets must be so visitors can wheel their gifts over to the human leader's place,” said Limpy.

“Must be big gifts. Makes ours seem a bit small.”

“It's the quality of a gift that counts,” said Charm.

“We could have brought a giant dung beetle, but we didn't 'cause they're all gristle.”

“Good point,” said Limpy.

When they got to the entrance, they both stopped, peering through a split in the plastic bag.

The bag sagged. So did Limpy.

The big glass doors that slid open each time a human approached must be security doors. Even if Limpy could find out the password, he knew he'd never be able to say it.

“Only one thing to do,” he whispered to Charm.“Get a human to take us in.”

Limpy and Charm clung to each other and tried to make themselves as small as they could.

It wasn't easy for Limpy, because he had a big lump in his throat. Pride, mostly, and love. How many cane toads had little sisters who would hop into a human's handbag without a croak of complaint, and could do it in the tiny amount of time it took the human to lock her car, drop her keys, pick them up, and check her hair in the side mirror?

And that was as well as Charm being a crack shot with her poison pus.

“You're incredible,” Limpy whispered.

“No, I'm not,” said Charm. “I'm just trying to be like you. I always have.”

The feelings inside Limpy were so big he was amazed there was enough room in the handbag for him and the presents and Charm and all the used tissues crumpled up around them.

He gave Charm a grateful hug. Then he listened carefully, trying not to be distracted by the clattering noise of the wire-basket wheels underneath him.

There it was.

The hiss of the automatic doors opening.

Limpy grabbed Charm's hand and they struggled up through the damp tissues and peeked out of the handbag.

Stack me, thought Limpy. The human leader's house is full of food.

They were in the biggest room Limpy had ever
seen. Shelves loaded with packets and tins stretched away into the distance. Between them were shiny strips of floor as big as highways.

Limpy stared, amazed. Even the newspapers that picnickers sometimes wiped their bottoms on didn't have pictures of this many grocery items.

Charm was staring too.

“Limpy,” she whispered. “I don't think this is the human leader's house. I think we've come to the wrong place.”

“What do you mean?” asked Limpy.

“I met a weevil once who used to go to places like this for his holidays,” said Charm, eyes wide with concern. “We're in a supermarket.”

L
impy had a powerful urge to stay in the human's handbag for the rest of his life, or at least until they were out of the supermarket.

As he peeked out, the lights were so bright they hurt his eyes, and the air was colder than swamp mist on a winter morning. He wanted to grab Charm and snuggle back down into the tissues, where he was pretty sure there were interesting morsels to eat.

But he knew they couldn't.

The human was studying some bottles on a shelf. At any moment she could be reaching into her bag for a tissue or a bottle opener.

“Come on,” Limpy whispered to Charm. “Hop for it.”

They clambered out of the handbag, leapt onto the nearest shelf, and hid behind a row of boxes. Limpy
stared at the picture on the boxes. A human kid in pajamas was happily pouring milk onto what looked like a bowl of warts.

Limpy shuddered.

Did humans eat toad warts for breakfast?

He made himself stop thinking about that and follow Charm, who was heading down the narrow space that ran along the back of the shelf.

You're right, Charm, he thought. Concentrate on the job at hand. This is probably the biggest shop in the district. The human leader probably comes here to do his shopping. If we can find him we can give him our gifts of friendship here.

Suddenly Limpy felt more cheerful, even though the cold air was making his warts ache.

Good on you, Charm, he thought. You're an inspiration.

Then he remembered the other thing they had to do.

Find Goliath before he started a war.

Along the shelf, Limpy saw that several battles had already taken place.

The first had involved Goliath and a packet of white powder. The human on the front of the packet had several holes in her legs, and Limpy saw immediately that she'd been stabbed with a sharp stick.

“He must be practicing before he starts on real humans,” muttered Limpy.

“Oh, Goliath,” sighed Charm. “Don't do it.”

They followed Goliath's white footprints, and on another shelf, a very cold one, they found a packet of cheese slices completely ripped open.

Limpy and Charm looked at each other. With Goliath, it was hard to know if this was a commando raid or a lunch break.

Then Limpy saw Goliath and gave a croak of alarm.

Goliath was behind another glass door, inside a kind of cupboard or cabinet, surrounded by pizzas. Except, strangely, Goliath wasn't trying to eat the pizzas. He was standing completely still, which Limpy had never seen him do when he was close to even a tiny piece of pizza.

Then Limpy saw something else.

One of Goliath's back legs was raised and a stream of liquid was coming out from behind it.

Limpy felt faint.

“He's peeing on the pizzas,” croaked Limpy. “And I don't think he's doing it out of friendship.”

Then Limpy noticed something that made him feel puzzled as well as horrified. Something strange about the pee. It wasn't moving. It wasn't splashing on the pizzas. It was just sort of hanging in the air.

Limpy didn't get it.

“Oh, no,” said Charm.“See how everything in there's got a coating of white on it? I think that's frost. A bird that migrates to our swamp each summer told me there are places so cold that living things go solid and die. It's called freezing. I think that's what Goliath's doing.”

Limpy stared at Goliath.

He certainly looked pretty frosty. And a bit blue.

They had to move fast.

Limpy saw that on the shelf above Goliath were bags of those little round green vegetables that humans sometimes put in rice salads. He couldn't remember what they were called, but he saw that a human shopper standing nearby had a bag of the same little frozen green balls in his big wire basket on wheels.

“Stay here,” Limpy said to Charm, and hopped into the basket.

Using both hands and his good foot, Limpy ripped the bag open. The green balls poured out and clattered across the floor.

Limpy ducked behind a carton of milk and held his breath while the human shopper looked at the escaping green balls, frowned, glanced around, then opened the glass door and reached for another bag.

Now, thought Limpy.

He dropped to the floor, lunged into the cabinet,
grabbed Goliath, and tried to drag him out. Goliath didn't move. Limpy saw the problem. Goliath was frozen to the pizzas with pee. Limpy hauled with all his strength. Suddenly Goliath's frozen pee snapped and Goliath slid out of the cabinet, thudding on top of Limpy.

Goliath's skin was so cold it hurt Limpy's hands. Worse, Goliath's eyeballs weren't moving and his arms and legs didn't seem to be working.

Limpy checked that the shopper, who was hurrying guiltily away from the green balls on the floor, hadn't spotted him and Goliath. He squeezed out from under Goliath and signaled frantically to Charm to come and help.

They rubbed Goliath's frosty warts and massaged his arms and legs.

“Don't die, Goliath,” pleaded Limpy. “You're a pain in the bum but we love you.”

Goliath's glands gave a faint quiver.

“Keep rubbing,” said Limpy to Charm. “I just wish we had something warm to wrap him in. A few mouse intestines, something like that.”

“His ankles are starting to thaw,” said Charm.

Suddenly, with a splintering of ice and a lot of groaning, Goliath sat up.

“Are you OK?” asked Charm anxiously.

“My stick,” moaned Goliath. “Where's my stick?”

“Forget it,” said Limpy. “We're getting you out of here.”

“We have to defend ourselves,” said Goliath.

At first Limpy didn't understand what Goliath was on about.

Then he heard human voices shouting angrily.

He looked up and nearly fainted. Several human shoppers were advancing toward them, faces twisted with hatred, brandishing big cans and packets and vicious-looking vegetables.

L
impy grabbed the gifts of friendship and turned to face the advancing humans.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Goliath, shivering with cold and indignation, snatch a cheese stick off a shelf.

“No, Goliath,” begged Limpy. “Don't.”

It was too late.

“Come on, you wartless wonders!” Goliath yelled at the humans. He waved the cheese stick. “Do your worst!”

A couple of the humans dropped the groceries they were brandishing and grabbed gardening tools off another shelf. Sharp-looking ones.

Limpy knew the humans’ worst would probably involve a lot of stabbing, and then him and Charm and Goliath spending all eternity on a human mantelpiece, stuffed with cotton wool or, even worse, dried lentils.

Not if he could help it.

Limpy hopped into the middle of the wide strip of floor, right in front of the humans, and held out the slug sauce and the maggot moisturizer and the rat rissole.

“We come in peace!” he yelled. “We just want to be friends!”

He knew the humans couldn't understand what he was saying, but he prayed the quality of the gifts would speak for themselves.

Sadly, they didn't.

The humans raised their weapons and kept on coming.

Limpy stayed where he was, to distract the humans so Charm and Goliath would have one last chance to get away. He closed his eyes and waited to die. While he waited, he wished he'd had a chance to say goodbye to his dear sister and cousin. And to Mum and Dad. And to all the dead rellies in his bedroom.

Too late. Limpy felt revolting soft human skin against his own, and then he was lifted high into the air.

He opened his eyes so the human who was about to kill him would know he was a proud, fearless cane toad, and also so he could see where to squirt his poison pus.

But the human face looking down at him wasn't
twisted with anger and hatred like most human faces. It was peering at him with sympathy.

Limpy saw that the face belonged to a teenage girl. She placed him gently into the plastic basket she was holding. Limpy trembled with relief. Charm and Goliath were already in there, both still alive.

“She took my cheese stick,” complained Goliath.

“Shhhh,” said Charm. “I'm trying to work out what the human's saying.”

The girl was saying something to the other humans. Limpy couldn't understand the words, but he could see, through the lattice of the basket, that the humans had lowered their weapons.

She must be explaining about the presents, thought Limpy. He groped around for the gifts, but Goliath was sitting on the sauce and moisturizer and was eating the rissole again.