To Whisper Her Name (52 page)

“I love you too,” she whispered. “And I …” Tears traced her cheeks. “I
want
to be with you, but I can’t leave Aunt Elizabeth. She needs me too much. And with my teaching …” She shook her head. “With all my heart I wish you didn’t have to leave. I wish you could stay. Here. With me. But” — she hiccupped a sob — “just as you’ve tried to tell me, all along, that you couldn’t stay, I’ve tried to make it clear to you … that I can’t go.”

How long they stood that way, he couldn’t say. He only knew that when she slipped her hand around his neck and drew his mouth down to meet hers, he realized for the first time what bittersweet tasted like.

M
onday morning, Ridley steeled himself and knocked on General Harding’s office door. Hearing the man’s reply, he entered.

The general glanced up from his desk. “Mr. Cooper. Right on time, as always. Have a seat. Have you had a chance to review the figures from the auction?”

“Yes, sir.” Ridley laid the report on his desk. “It’s all in here. The expenses, the yearlings, their trainers, what the winning bids were, what percentage each man is due.”

“Well done, Mr. Cooper. So tell me …” Harding leaned back in his chair. “Have you changed your mind yet?”

Ridley shook his head. “No, sir. I’m leaving this week. Wednesday, at the latest. I’ve got a few more … loose ends to tie up. Then I’ll be on my way.”

Harding studied him for a moment. “You’re somewhat of an enigma to me, Mr. Cooper.”

“How’s that, sir?”

“Because I’ve done everything I know to do to get you to stay. And, within reason, I’d do more. Yet at the same time, I’d be almost disappointed if you changed your mind. There’s something about a man deciding to do something, and then doing it no matter the odds or obstacles. It demonstrates character, which is sorely lacking in so many these days.”

Ridley couldn’t even come close to smiling. “No worries about me changing my mind, sir. How is Mrs. Harding today?”

“She’s doing better. Still weak, but that’s been an ongoing struggle for some time, as you know. But thank you for your concern. She thinks mighty highly of you, Mr. Cooper. As do I.”

Ridley met General Harding’s gaze straight on. “Thank you, sir. I return the sentiment.”

“You told me where you’re leaving from before. To head west …”

“St. Joseph, sir. At the end of the month.”

“And yet you’re leaving Belle Meade so soon.”

“I’ve got plenty to do to get ready for the trip.”

“I’m sure you do. Well …” The general sighed and turned back a page in his ledger and withdrew an envelope. “This is, I believe, all the money that is owed you from the auction, plus a few days of work this month, minus boarding expenses for Seabird
and
Dauntless, of course.”

That
made Ridley smile. “You never miss a penny, General.”

“Not when one is stood to be made.” The man grinned.

Harding held out the envelope. But just as Uncle Bob had predicted that morning — after they’d talked and laid things out, settling on what was best to do — Ridley couldn’t bring himself to take it.

Harding eyed him. “Is there a problem, Mr. Cooper?”

Ridley knew he could take that envelope and leave, never having said a thing to the general about the war or what side he’d fought for. But he also knew in coming days and months — even years — he would think back to this moment and wish he’d been honest with the man. And yet … he also remembered how doing the right thing had turned out for him in the war and how that decision was still costing him. His thoughts turned to Olivia, and he tried to steer them elsewhere. He needed to be clear minded for the next few moments and thinking about her made him anything but. Yet thoughts about Olivia Aberdeen were nearly as persistent as the woman herself.

He was certain about his feelings for her and thought he’d been certain about hers for him. He saw the affection in her eyes and felt it in the urgency of her kiss. He
knew
she loved him. But she’d made her choice, and he’d made his — painful though they were.

“General Harding, I appreciate the opportunity to work at Belle Meade. But before I accept that check” — his gut knotted up — “if you still choose to give it to me, I need to tell you something …”

As he spoke, painstakingly revealing more of who he was and of his part in the war, Ridley watched Harding’s expression. The only indication of General William Giles Harding’s anger was the beard reaching halfway down his chest. It began to tremble.

“It was never my intention, General, when I first came here, to
stay as long as I did. I was going to be here a month, maybe two, then be on my way. But one thing led to another, and two months led to a year. And the only reason I’m telling you all this now is because … during that time, I’ve grown to respect you, sir. Far more, I’m hesitant to admit, than when I first came.”

A full moment passed.

Then Harding slowly, deliberately, came to his feet. “
Why
did you come to Belle Meade, Mr. Cooper?” He circled the corner of the desk. “To exact some sort of vengeance? To rob me of my honor? On my own land? In my own home?”

“No, sir. I give you my word, I …” Seeing Harding’s eyes darken, Ridley continued. “I came here because I wanted to learn from Uncle Bob.”

Harding scoffed. “And just how did you know about the talents of my head hostler?”

“Because, sir …” Ridley drew in a breath. “I found him hiding your thoroughbreds up in the high pasture … back during the war.”

Harding’s eyes narrowed, and Ridley could almost see the shards of truth jarring into place for him. General Harding walked to the window and stared out, his spine rigid as a post. After a moment, he turned back.

“Andersonville,” Harding whispered.

Ridley held his gaze. “They shot me coming down the mountain. After I left Uncle Bob.”

“And after
not
confiscating my thoroughbreds.”

Ridley gave a nod.

“So … in an odd twist of fate, Mr. Cooper, it would seem that I have you to thank for the champion thoroughbreds on my plantation.”

“No, sir. I’m not the one to thank. There’s only one reason I didn’t take those horses that night … Robert Green. He’s the reason you have what you have, sir. Not me.”

Harding stared at him long and hard. Then finally walked back to his desk. Ridley glanced at the check again, then back at Harding. And received his answer.

He headed for the door.

“Mr. Cooper.”

Ridley turned.

Harding reached for the envelope and held it out. “A handshake is as binding a contract as any words dried on paper.”

Remembering the general having said that, Ridley reached for the check. Then Harding pulled it back.

“But I want you off my land by noon today. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

Ridley took the check and walked to the door.

“One more agenda item before you go, Mr. Cooper.”

Ridley waited, detecting a glint in the general’s eyes.

“Remember our agreement with Seabird. If she ever races again, I want fifty percent. No cap on earnings. For her lifetime.”

“You may want fifty percent, General. But we shook on twenty-five.” Halfway out the door, Ridley looked back and caught the tail end of a smile on General William Giles Harding’s face. “I like a man with a sense of humor and a touch of stallion in him too, sir.”

Ridley closed the door behind him.

Y
ou feel a little warm this evening, Aunt Elizabeth.” Olivia pressed a hand to Elizabeth’s cheek, then dipped the cloth in the basin of water, wrung it out, and laid it across her aunt’s forehead.

“Mmmm …” Elizabeth sighed. “That feels good. You’re so kind to me, Livvy. I’m so grateful you’re here with us.”

Olivia scraped together a smile. “I’m … grateful to be here too, Aunt.”

Elizabeth’s brow furrowed. “Dear, it’s Monday,” she said in a softer voice. “Don’t you teach class tonight?”

“Yes, ma’am, I do. But I wanted to make sure you were feeling better before I left.”

Elizabeth waved off Olivia’s concern, her delicate wrist even thinner than Olivia had realized. Olivia adjusted the cloth on Elizabeth’s forehead, and her aunt’s eyes slipped closed.

Elizabeth had been embarrassed about fainting at the auction. But Olivia assured her Ridley had carried her inside quickly and only a handful of people witnessed it.

Ridley
… Olivia sighed. Even thinking his name hurt.

She looked out the window toward the hills where approaching dusk settled in folds of purple and gray over the trees, the sun making its slow descent. Although she’d seen him at a distance, she hadn’t spoken with him again since they’d shared those few moments in the central parlor on Saturday. She’d wanted to go to church yesterday and had hoped to see him then, at least briefly, but Elizabeth had asked her to sit with her.

But really, what more was there to say between them? He would leave on Friday to start his way west, and she would stay here at Belle Meade with Elizabeth and the Hardings before marrying General
Meeks. A sickening weight pressed down inside her at the prospect. And for as long as she lived, she knew she would never, ever forget the promises Ridley had whispered to her.

Even now they played tug-of-war with her heart and made her want to run and find him. To see him while she still could, before he left.

“I’ve had a dream, Livvy …” Elizabeth’s voice was soft and breathy. “Twice now. And each time I awaken thinking of you.”

Olivia leaned closer, noticing the crepe-like lines wreathing Elizabeth’s eyes. “Why me?”

“Because it reminds me of something you told me.” Elizabeth smiled faintly. “When you first came here. About that door … in the carriage. The one that flew open. Do you remember?”

Olivia nodded, thinking of the night she and Ridley had taken their first walk and of his opinion on why she hadn’t fallen out the door that day. Swiftly on the heels of that thought, clambered another, reminding her of how much the Hardings had done for her — Elizabeth, specifically — and of how much she owed them.

“In my dream …” Elizabeth’s eyes closed again. “There’s a door. And somehow, I know what lies beyond is lovelier than anything I’ve ever seen. And I want to see it. So badly.” Elizabeth frowned, her eyes opening. “But I can’t, Livvy, because the door is always locked.”

Olivia smoothed the lines of worry from her aunt’s forehead, eager to reassure her, knowing it was the laudanum talking more than Elizabeth. “You don’t think that has anything to do with the walk we took last week, do you? When Mr. Hunsaker warned us to keep the door closed on his prized roses?”

Elizabeth blinked. “You know … It actually might, at that.” The furrows in her brow gradually lessened. She glanced toward the door. “You need to go, Livvy. But, before you do … I want to thank you again for being a friend to my Mary. She is … quite changed in recent months, thanks to you.”

Olivia reached for her hand. “Mary is a delightful person. Intelligent and spirited, much like her mother.”

Warmth softened Elizabeth’s eyes. “You’re giving her wings to fly.”

Olivia shook her head. “
We
are.”

Hearing the anticipated footsteps in the hallway, Olivia rose and pressed a kiss to Elizabeth’s cheek. “I’ll stop by again in the morning.”

The door opened and Mary entered. “I’m here to spend some time with my favorite mother.” Mary tossed Olivia a look, pointedly touching the brooch at her neckline before giving her mother a hug.

Olivia had splurged on the little treasure she’d put inside the painted box for Mary recently. But Mary’s reaction then — and since — had been worth it.

Mary held up a newspaper. “I thought I’d read today’s news to you, Mother. There’s an article about Mrs. Acklen.” She tapped the front page and arched her eyebrows. “And also …” Her gaze swung to Olivia. “About the auction.”

Aunt Elizabeth feigned sadness. “Susanna beat you to it, I’m afraid, dear. But I’d love for you to read more from this.”

She held up a novel, and Mary laid the newspaper aside.

Her own curiosity piqued, Olivia gestured to it. “May I? For later?”

Mary nodded, opening the book.

On her way to class, Olivia looked over at the old Harding cabin as she passed. No sign of Ridley, or Uncle Bob. Most likely, they were still working in the stables. If Ridley didn’t seek her out by tomorrow, she would seek him. Maybe even later tonight, if she saw a light in the window on her way home.

With a flat stretch of meadow in front of her and the sun’s last rays reaching over the hills, she scanned the front page of the newspaper. She found the article about the auction and grew excited when she read the words “generous array of sumptuous food” and “yearlings second in excellence to none.” The servants would enjoy reading that after all their hard work.

An adjacent title drew her attention …