To the Sea (Follow your Bliss) (22 page)

Kira
smiled between sobs. With her clothing, cosmetics, toiletries, and an extra
bathing suit packed, they left in separate cars, Kira insisting she could bring
herself to and from work so long as she bypassed Lilac Court.

As
she backed out of the driveway, she felt like she was making a dramatic exit in
the night, the kind on reality TV. What she would have told the lead character
to do in the scenario Nicole had imagined all those months ago, but that was
before she was brave, and before she knew who she was. Kira couldn’t fight the
torment. The only solution was to leave and then perhaps the healing would be
complete. She knew there were some things you fight and others you walk away
from, and this was just one of those instances.

Entering
Ian’s cottage was a completely different visceral experience. The salt air
mixed with surf wax and a woody scent filled her lungs like a bellows, allowing
her to breathe without crying. It was late and Kira and Ian fell into bed. As
they snuggled under the sheet, she knew she’d found her way home.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The
week passed in a wake, surf, work, anticipate a sunny future, eat, and make
love, pattern, relieving Kira of the old configuration involving near-constant
tears. Like Frank had said, no one wanted the summer to end. Little by little,
layers of her former-self peeled away to reveal someone shiny and new. She
found herself having fun, laughing easily, and not worrying about getting every
little thing perfect. At the end of the week, Kira also received notice that
the application pool for the transfer had closed, and the candidates would
receive notification about interviews on Monday.

The
following afternoon, Kira wandered into Ian’s study. On the wall, she gazed at
a photo of him holding a
Golden State
surfboard.

“That
was my first,” he said.

Framed
next to this was a photograph of a houseboat with the same wood shingle siding
common to the exterior of New England cottages, in fact, it looked a lot like a
real house only its foundation was fluid, floating in glassy water. The trim
was white and bursts of red potted geraniums dotted the deck. Kira wrapped her
arms around Ian’s shoulders as he finished editing a document.

He
pressed save. “There, my work is done.” He swiveled in his chair and pulled
Kira close. “Something on your mind?”

“Is
this where you live in the winter?” she asked pointing at the framed photo.

“Yep.
My grandfather built it, there were only a handful of houses docked there at
the time, but now there are quite a few neighbors.”

“When
exactly
do you go?” she asked curiously, trying to conceal her growing
uncertainty about what was to become of their relationship.

“Whenever
I want. Whenever I get cold or bored, or the surf there is better than here.”
He paused and took Kira’s hands in his. “We’ll get it figured out.” He paused
fully taking in Kira’s expression. “I guess we have to talk about this
sometime.”

“I
don’t want to be presumptive,” Kira said shyly. “But I guess I want to know how
we, or I, figure into your plans?”

“You,
we, are my plans. I’ve been thinking a lot about this too and there’s nowhere
I’d rather be than with you, babe. I’ve been single for a while and being
bicoastal was what worked really well. But it isn’t the only option.” Ian ran
his fingers through her hair. “One idea I had was maybe you could work from
home for a couple weeks at a time and then we can fly back. Check in at the
office, spend a few weeks here, and then hit the Pacific again,” he said with a
surfer’s gleam in his eye.

Kira
wasn’t sure if this was the right time to tell him about the potential
transfer. She didn’t know if she’d move ahead after the first round of
interviews, and she didn’t want to get his, or her own, hopes up. However,
she’d promised to base her life and the relationship on pure honesty. She
cleared her throat.

“A
job opportunity came up in San Francisco. My company merged with another, and
there’s a transfer opportunity. I applied.”

Ian
lit up.

“Really?
That’s super! I’ve been thinking about just staying, but this is great. The
boat is my grandfather’s legacy, something I’d love for you to see, and I know
you don’t have any more vacation time, but maybe it’ll all work out,” Ian said
with excitement.

“There
are a lot of other applicants. A lot of ifs.”

“Maybe
it’s just meant to be. I mean, what are the chances of all the places in the
world and the new job is right on my doorstep.” With the conversation broached,
Ian went on to tell Kira about Sausalito and the boat, softening her concerns.

***

Back
to work on Monday, Kira learned, along with five other candidates that she was
to move forward in the transfer application process. The realtor called on
Tuesday to say she had several showings already scheduled. Relieved, Kira hoped
she never had to step foot in the house on Lilac Court again. Her life improved
dramatically without hours spent crying.

A
couple days later, Kira woke up jittery because the preliminary interview, that
day, would determine her and Ian’s future.

It
drizzled, but Ian suggested they still surf. “Rain or shine, babe. Well, not
downpour, but you’re wet already once you’re in, so who cares if water is
falling out of the sky too. Come on, it’ll settle your nerves.”

In
the early dawn light, they made their way out into the waves. They were bigger
and wilder than usual on that stretch of coast, which wasn’t making Kira any
more relaxed. She preferred days when she could see clear out to the horizon.
The water resembled slate and the whitewater churned fiercely.

Kira
caught the first wave that rose and then peeled nicely, gliding along the
surface. Instantly her shoulders relaxed a notch, her neck unkinked, and the
knot in her stomach dissipated.

As
she paddled back out to the launch spot, she watched Ian sail along the face of
a wave, cut back, and do a couple tricks on his short board. She could only
imagine him when the waves were really going off out west. He was completely at
home in the water.

She
sat up on her board to watch over her shoulder for the next set. The water roared,
and the wind howled—the ocean was not in a good mood. Kira angled into
position. Ian was in the distance beginning his paddle back. When she looked
over her shoulder, the wave was on top of her, thrusting her under.

The
leash tugged on Kira’s leg, connected to the board somewhere on the surface,
but the water pounded overhead, and she couldn’t make it up. As she continued
to hold her breath, her chest felt like exploding. She risked opening her eyes
hoping to figure out which way was up, but lost her contacts. Kira arched
backward and grabbed the leash wrapped around her ankle. Hand over fist, she
followed it to the board, bursting to the surface and gasping for breath, but
another wave crashed down and held her under.

Kira
was in the impact zone, a dangerous place where the breaking waves acted like a
washing machine and just rolled one into the next with little break in between.
Just when she was sure she couldn’t hold her breath any longer, strong hands
pulled her upward. Ian held her fast as he fought his way into the shallows,
and they both crawled onto the sand. Kira sputtered. Water streamed out of her
nose. She pulled seaweed out of her hair, but more than anything she was awash
with gratitude that they were both safe.

“Are
you okay?” Ian asked hoarsely.

“Yeah,
I think so,” Kira said assessing to make sure she still had all her limbs and
there weren’t any cuts in her wet suit.

“You?”
she asked.

Ian
nodded.

“Thanks
for rescuing me.” Kira recalled their first times out on the water together.

He
lay on his back taking a deep breath, and then propped himself up on his
elbows.

“Always,”
he said meaningfully and leaned over to give Kira a kiss, brushing a strand of
seaweed off her shoulder. “It got heavy out there pretty quick. That’s the
ocean though. She gave you a good ride and then took the wind out of you. Like
life, sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. I’m sorry. Next time we’ll
spend more time reading the waves before we go out.”

“Crap,
work,” Kira said tripping over her leash as she tried to stand up. Hefting
their boards, they hustled back up to the cottage having drifted a ways down
the beach. Very quickly, Kira cleaned up, dressed, and rushed to the door.

“Good
luck,” Ian said kissing her as she dashed to her car.

Once
at work, still shaken up from the near drowning experience, combined with the
nerves about the interview, Alice noticed Kira was off kilter.

“Stressed?”

“To
say the least.”

“I
put in a good word with Frank. If he had any reservations about your
commitment, you know, based on your absence a while back, he doesn’t now. He’ll
vouch for you, I’m sure of it.”

“Thanks
Nicole, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Any
word on the house?”

“No.
Fingers crossed for two pieces of good news this week. Good bye Lilac Court,
hello San Francisco.”

The
interview went smoothly, whatever Nicole said to Frank worked in Kira’s favor.
He aimed his questions at the strengths she had and no one brought up the
stretch of time off.

By
the end of the following week, Kira still had no word from the realtor, but she
received notice she was moving ahead in the interview process. She’d be
participating in a live interview via video conference the following week with
some of the partners from the San Francisco agency.

Kira
and Ian celebrated over a sumptuous dinner of grilled pizza with fresh herbs
and mozzarella along with a giant salad.

The
nights slowly got cooler, indicating autumn would soon be on its way. Kira
pulled her sweater more closely around her, catching herself falling out of the
moment, and worrying about what life would be like without Ian’s company, if
she didn’t get the job.

“Babe?”
he said.

“Worried,”
she answered, her forehead creasing.

“About?”

“Us.”
Ian shook his head and pulled her close as they sat on his back deck enjoying a
fire in an outdoor clay chiminea. “Hang on. I know just what you need.”

He
went in the house and returned with a bag of marshmallows, a bar of chocolate,
and graham crackers. “S’mores. You just need S'mores.”

“S’more
of you,” Kira said laughing and weaving her arms around him.

He
put a marshmallow on a stick and held it just above the fire, patiently letting
it toast. Once assembled, she took a huge gooey bite and then offered him one.
He got white marshmallow all over the short brown whiskers of his unshaven
face.

“I
think you need to shave,” she said.

“Saving
it for later,” he said licking his lips with a grin. “You don’t like my five
o’clock shadow?”

“I
love your five o’clock shadow. It’s just not conducive to eating marshmallow.”

Then
she nibbled his face and brought her lips to his. Then they were in the
bedroom, then naked, and all Kira’s thoughts of the future slipped away. Their
lovemaking pulled her right into the present, the salty smell of his skin, the
smoke from the fire in his hair, the push of his hips against hers, their legs
in a tangle. Everything felt perfect.

Kira
carried this serenity with her into the week, and was pleased to get an offer
on the house. She immediately called Ian to tell him the good news.

“I
feel free already.”

“We
still have to get your stuff,” he reminded her.

“I
decided to sell it furnished. What was left anyway. Everything was brand new
and truly, I don’t want any of it. It’s tainted.”

“But
your clothing, photos, books, and all of that. How about we go next weekend and
clean it out. We’ll take both your car and my truck so we only have to go
once.” 

Kira
had been sleeping peacefully; the sea air and the lapping of the waves outside
the window were like a lullaby, not to mention Ian’s melodies on his guitar and
quiet singing. She woke, well rested, on the morning of the live interview, the
sun shining bright.

Clanging
echoed from the kitchen. Kira discovered Ian had prepared her French toast,
fresh fruit, and coffee.

“I
figured we’d mix it up this week. Skip the surfing so there’s no risk of
drowning just before you have a big interview,” he said trying to make light of
their close call. “How about a twilight surf to celebrate?”

With
the reminder of the interview, Kira slouched in her chair at the table.

“If
I move forward.” In the past, Kira was headstrong, self-assured, and marched
right out to get what she wanted, but the months of uncertainty in her life
stifled her confidence in the work arena.

“I’d
place my chances with you,” Ian said as Kira dug into her breakfast.