To the Moon and Back (29 page)

There were drinks in the green room after the show. The first guest, a comedian, was taking center stage, knocking back vodka at a rate of knots and being noisily hilarious.

‘Hi, you all right?' Vince approached Roo, who was leaning against a wall checking her mobile. Lots of messages but none from anyone she was in any hurry to call back.

‘I'm good, thanks.'

‘Sorry about the clothes thing. I assumed they were designer.'

‘No problem.' Roo put her phone away.

‘Exactly. Just made people love you more.' He paused. ‘Are you sure you're OK?'

‘I'm fine.'

‘You're going to be a star again. From now on you'll be able to do anything you want.'

Roo gave a noncommittal shrug; the last thing she wanted was to be a star again. What's more, it wouldn't enable her to do anything she wanted.

‘Hey, how about you and me slipping away?' Vince's fingers were running lightly up her spine in what was presumably a seductive manner. He gave her his trademark saucy grin and moved closer to her ear. ‘Where d'you want to go? Anywhere you like. Can I just say something?' he murmured. ‘You are one gorgeous lady.' And here it was, a shining example of exactly why she didn't want to return to that world. The old Roo would have been off with him like a shot, neither noticing nor caring that he was a slimy character with a huge ego. The only person Vince Torrance loved was himself; spend the night in his bed and it would be all over Twitter in the morning.

And once upon a time I would have found that funny.

‘No thanks.' A great wave of shame at the way her old self had behaved swept over her. ‘In fact, I think I'm going to head off now.'

‘Oh hey, no, don't do that. You can't leave… the evening's just getting started.'

His hand had moved to her waist now. Roo extricated herself with a sideways shrug and said, ‘Mine isn't. I'm going home.'

‘Fine, then.' Evidently not planning on bursting into tears about it, Vince said, ‘I thought you'd've been up for a bit of fun, but never mind. Tom'll organize your car.'

He beckoned to Tom, gave her a perfunctory kiss on the cheek, and headed over to the comedian who was still holding court in the center of the room.

Roo felt a smidgen better about herself. She put down her fizzy water and reached for her bag as Tom, the transport organizer, came trotting over.

At the same time, she'd never felt lonelier in her life.

***

The car rounded the corner into Nevis Street and pulled up outside Roo's house. It was ten thirty, a crescent moon hung in the sky at the end of the road, and the stars were out tonight in force. Roo climbed out onto the pavement, thanked the driver, and watched him leave.

Was Ellie at home? Was she awake? Her living-room lights were on but Roo had sent her a text twenty minutes ago saying she was on her way home and hadn't received a reply.

The feeling of overwhelming loneliness was back; it was like being smothered in black velvet. Roo took out her phone again, ready to ring Ellie, then stopped as she saw movement at the window. The curtain was pulled back and Ellie appeared. She waved, flung the window open, and leaned out.

‘Hey, I know you! You're that songwriter person I was watching on telly earlier.'

Roo felt herself relax. How could she have got through the last couple of months without Ellie? And to think that if she hadn't left her key in the lock that day, they might never have met. Plenty of people in big cities lived opposite each other for years and didn't so much as say hello.

Then again, if it hadn't been for Ellie, she would never have got to know Todd either. OK, never mind that now.
Don't think about Todd
.

Roo shielded her eyes from the glare of the street lamp. ‘Was I OK?'

‘You were great. But there was one thing.' Ellie rested her elbows on the windowsill. ‘Why isn't this the happiest time of your life?'

Roo had been on her way across the street. She stopped in the middle of the road.

‘What?'

‘You heard. Except we both know the answer. It's because you're still crazy about Todd.'

Roo's stomach scrunched itself into a tight knot. This wasn't fair; she wasn't up to another lecture, not now, not tonight.

‘Don't look at me like that.' Ellie's voice softened when Roo didn't say anything. ‘Oh, Roo, haven't you punished yourself enough now?'

Roo's eyes began to prickle. She bit her lip.

‘Listen, you did some bad things,' Ellie went on. ‘But now you've done good. More than enough good. I
promise.
'

A single tear slid down Roo's cheek and dripped off her chin.
More than enough good
; had the scales tipped in her favor, had she actually redressed the balance at last? She gazed up at Ellie and said hopefully, ‘Do you really think I have?'

‘Yes.' Ellie nodded. ‘I do.'

For the first time Roo found herself able to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, Ellie was right. She shifted from one foot to the other. But there was still the matter of Todd's girlfriend; it wasn't as if she could just change her mind.

‘OK, this is crazy, why am I standing out here like an idiot?' She continued across the street. ‘Open the door, I'm coming up.'

‘No, you can't.' Ellie's voice stopped her in her tracks. ‘Sorry, but I'm so shattered, and Zack's making me go in extra-early tomorrow. I just have to go to bed.'

‘Oh.' Stung by the unexpected rejection, Roo said, ‘OK.'
Five minutes wouldn't hurt, surely?

‘Hang on, though.' Ellie was straightening up. ‘I've got something for you.'

‘What is it?'

‘Wait a sec.' She disappeared from view. Still feeling put out, Roo guessed she'd been making cupcakes again. A few seconds later, Ellie's front door opened.

And there was Todd. Standing there, watching her. With something like determination in his eyes.

Oh God…

Roo was unable to move. She was having trouble staying upright. Now he was closing the short distance between them and she was mouthing helplessly like a goldfish, which probably wasn't attractive.

‘Sshh.' Todd shook his head. ‘Don't say anything. Stop it,' he warned as a kind of strangled croak found its way out. ‘Not a word.'

But Roo managed it. She had to. ‘Wh-where's Lisa?'

‘Lisa.' Another shake. ‘Don't worry. She's gone.'

Gone, yes, thank you…

The next moment Todd reached her and seamlessly drew her into his arms. His face, the face she hadn't been able to put out of her mind for so long, was now inches from hers. In the glow from the street lamp she could see the amber flecks in his gray eyes, the way his eyelashes curled at the corners, the tiny scar below his left eyebrow. And then there was his mouth… oh God, would it really be all right?

‘Come here,' Todd murmured, sliding one hand behind her neck. And then she
was
there. Their mouths met at last and she gave a tiny uncontrollable shiver, because this…
this
was the kiss she'd spent so long waiting for. Except now she was messing it up, making a complete hash of it, because the emotion was too much and she was about to burst into tears, and if there were two things you really couldn't do simultaneously, it was kiss and cry…

Roo drew back in the nick of time as a great braying sob broke out. Anyone listening would think there was a donkey loose in the street.

‘Hey, hey.' Half-laughing, Todd held on to her. ‘I'm not that bad.'

‘S-sorry. I'm just so h-h-happy.' Months of pent-up tension had to escape somehow. She clung to him, overwhelmed and overcome with emotion. ‘I can't believe you're here…'

‘Me neither.' He was gently rubbing her arms as if she was an accident victim in shock. ‘This wasn't planned, you know. Ellie called and invited me over. You weren't supposed to find out I was upstairs.'

Roo kissed him quickly on the mouth then smiled and kissed him again. It was OK, the explosive crying jag had passed. She turned to look up at the window. It was closed now, Ellie having beaten a diplomatic retreat.

‘I love that girl,' she said.

Todd grinned. ‘So do I.'

‘What happened with Lisa?' She needed to know; had there been a huge falling out or had the relationship simply run its course? Had Lisa ended it, or Todd?

‘Ah yes, Lisa. The math teacher,' said Todd. ‘The one with the unreliable car.'

Roo held her breath. Had he realized there was only one woman for him, and Lisa wasn't it?

‘She disappeared,' Todd went on seriously. ‘Back inside Ellie's head.'

It took a couple of moments for this to sink in.

‘You mean it wasn't true?' Roo searched his face.

‘None of it was true. Ellie made her up. She invented the whole thing. Personally,' said Todd, ‘I'm never going to believe a word she says again.'

‘Nor me.' The irony was that if it hadn't involved Todd and another woman, she would have loved the story of how they'd met.

‘But she was right about you not being happy. She saw it on the TV. Well, we both did.'

Roo stroked her fingers wonderingly through his hair. ‘And she made me realize I'd done enough. At last. So she's quite clever really.'

‘I love you.'

‘Me too.' She leaned into him. Their noses were practically touching. How many kisses did they have ahead of them? It was a giddying thought. And not only kisses, either…

‘I'm so proud of you.' Todd's expression softened. ‘You're amazing.'

‘I made some horrible mistakes.' She could feel the heat emanating from his body.

‘Everyone makes mistakes. But you stopped and did something about it. Most people don't bother.'

At that moment a white BMW turned into Nevis Street, catching them in its headlights. As it passed Roo and Todd, windows were buzzed down and they found themselves subjected to a good-natured chorus of whistles, helpful comments, and bawdy cheers.

‘And to think this used to be a decent neighborhood,' Roo tut-tutted. ‘It's going right downhill.'

‘On the other hand, they do have a point,' said Todd.

Together they turned and made their way across the street to her house. Roo linked her fingers through his and gave them a squeeze. She could hardly wait.

Aloud she said, ‘They certainly do.'

It was the last week in September and Ellie had that squiggly going-on-holiday feeling in her stomach. The Indian summer had timed itself to perfection, there wasn't a cloud in the luminous blue sky, and she and Zack were on their way to Perranporth. It was happening at last and the hardest part was containing her excitement. If Zack had any idea how much she'd been looking forward to this… well, it would scare the living daylights out of him. He'd probably lean across in a panic, fling open the passenger door of the Mercedes, and push her out.

But he didn't know and he wasn't going to find out. Ellie gave a little wriggle in her seat and sat back, enjoying the feel of the sun on her face and watching the scenery whoosh by as they sped down the M4. Elmo was asleep in the back of the car. Geraldine, out of hospital now and recuperating nicely, had gone to stay with her sister in Exeter. Roo and Todd were so besotted they could barely tear their hands off each other; they were like a couple of magnets who couldn't physically stand to be apart. Best of all, Todd's mum and Roo had met and instantly hit it off. Maria was as crazy about her son's new girlfriend as Todd was, and plans were already in place for a mega party to introduce Roo to everyone she knew.

They'd left Berkshire behind them. Behind her, Elmo was snuffling in his sleep, paws twitching as he chased London pigeons in his dreams. He was such a city dog. Ellie took a packet of gumdrops out of her bag and offered them to Zack. ‘Want one?'

‘Thanks. Can you find me a green one?'

‘Green? What, seriously?' She winced. ‘Are you sure?'

‘Yes. Why?'

‘Nobody likes green! They're the ones you only eat when everything else is gone. You have to be desperate.'

‘Green's my favorite,' said Zack.

‘Well, that makes you officially weird. But also kind of useful to have around.' Ellie found one and passed it over. ‘You can have all the yellows too, if you want.'

He glanced across at her. ‘Which are Joe's favorites?'

‘No idea. I've never offered him a gumdrop.'

‘I haven't asked for a while how things are going with you two.'

‘Fine.' Ellie helped herself to a red one. They were the best by a mile.

‘Did you see him last night?'

She nodded, glad of her sunglasses and the sweet in her mouth. ‘Mmm.'

‘OK. That's clever.' Zack waited. ‘Because on Twitter this morning he posted a photo of himself taken last night at a party at the Beverly Hills Hotel.'

Ellie stopped chewing. Bugger. Zack added helpfully, ‘Which is in Beverly Hills.'

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. She finished the wine gum and swallowed it. ‘I thought you weren't on Twitter.'

‘I'm not. Joe sent me an email yesterday. Just a friendly catch-up letting me know how things are going for him in LA. So after that, I was pretty curious.' He said drily, ‘You don't need to be on Twitter to look someone up.'

She heaved a sigh and fiddled with the clasp on her bag. It had only been a little white lie, but she always seemed destined to be found out.

‘Handy hint,' said Zack. ‘In future, probably better to keep the other person in the loop so they know what they should or shouldn't say.'

‘I'll make sure I do that.' The scenery was still whipping past; they were over the border into Wiltshire now.

‘You could have told me, you know.' She could feel him glancing sideways at her. ‘Why didn't you?'

Because I'm crazy about you and I don't want to make a complete fool of myself. Because it's easier if you think I'm seeing someone else.

Aloud, Ellie said, ‘It was just… embarrassing.' It was so hard to find the words. ‘You never really seemed to approve of me and Joe in the first place. And that felt horrible. It's like when you're sixteen and your mum warns you against getting involved with the local bad boy. So you go ahead and start seeing him, and it turns out he's a nightmare, a total heartbreaker who treats you like rubbish and cops off with other girls behind your back. But you can't bear to admit to your mum that she was right.'

Zack didn't look amused. ‘Did Joe break your heart?'

‘No, God no! It was lovely while it lasted, it just wasn't right. Well, not right enough.' Would he understand if she said it? Ellie gave it a go. ‘He was an eight.'

‘I didn't dislike Joe. He was a good guy.' Zack inclined his head. ‘He still is. But I could see he wasn't your type.'

‘Oh.' She was instantly on the defensive. ‘He didn't dump me, you know. He asked me to move with him to LA.'

‘So what stopped you?'

‘Well, there's this guy I work for. Pretty hopeless character. God knows how he'd manage without me to organize him.' That was better, she'd made him smile. Ellie felt herself relax. ‘Honestly? It was never going to happen. You can't move to another continent with someone who isn't a ten.'

Another sidelong glance, another eyebrow raised. ‘And what does somebody have to do to be a ten?'

She raised her chin; he was teasing her now. ‘They don't have to do anything. Just be themselves, and be right. Go on then, how about you?' Time to turn the tables. ‘What makes a girl perfect?'

They were overtaking an oil tanker. The countryside continued to whoosh past. The corners of Zack's mouth began to twitch. ‘It helps a lot if she doesn't call me Zacky.'

***

‘OK, brace yourself.' It was five o'clock in the afternoon, the long journey was over, and they were approaching Perranporth. Zack said, ‘Sometimes my family can be a bit overwhelming. If my mother asks any impertinent questions, ignore her.'

Ellie's stomach was in knots; she'd thought his family knew she was just a friend. It wasn't until they'd left the M5 behind them that Zack had explained how it had been easier to tell them they were a new couple. ‘It just made sense. I don't know why it didn't occur to me before. My family can't keep a secret to save their lives; someone would be bound to tell Mya. Whereas this way, only we know the truth.'

Fear-fueled adrenaline was now zinging like sherbet through Ellie's veins. The old have-to-pretend-we're-a-couple ploy was one she'd seen in romantic films, but only ever at the beginning of the film when the couple genuinely couldn't stand the sight of each other. Having to do it when you had a Kilimanjaro-sized crush on your boss and he really didn't have a crush on you in return was going to be a whole lot trickier to pull off.

Minutes later they turned a corner and there it was, set back from the road at the end of a curving driveway. A long Georgian farmhouse built of pale gray stone and smothered in ivy, with a silvery slate roof and an elaborate old-style conservatory to one side. The gardens surrounding it were spectacular but not off-puttingly formal. The front door to the house was painted emerald green. Almost all the sash windows downstairs were open. Behind the house a pink and white tent was visible. The overall effect was incredibly welcoming…

‘Look at those windows flung open,' said Zack. ‘Bet you any money my mother's been burning cakes again.'

He brought the car to a halt. Elmo, on Ellie's lap, gave a bark of recognition and began scrabbling his paws against the passenger window. The next moment the bright green front door opened and a horde of people and dogs began spilling out.

Was this how it felt to be Beyoncé?

‘Welcome to my family.' Zack's tone was dry. ‘Well? Do you think we can do this?'

If Jamie were watching her now, he'd be laughing his head off at the predicament she'd got herself into. The only way, really, was to go for it, plunge in full tilt, and act her socks off.

Ellie grinned at him. ‘Zacky, don't panic, it'll be fine.'

‘Darling, how lovely, it's been too long!' Teresa McLaren gave her son an enthusiastic hug then turned to Ellie. ‘And you must be Ellie. It's even lovelier to meet you!'

Zack said, ‘Mum, call her Piglet. Everyone does.'

‘No, they don't.' Ellie shook her head at Teresa. ‘Ignore him, he just made that up.'

‘He's a shocker. But everybody does call me Tizz, so you must too.' Tizz was beaming; in her midsixties, she had flyaway brown hair escaping from a hastily assembled bun, Zack's dark eyes, and a streak of flour across her forehead. She was wearing a stripy blue and white shirt over crumpled jeans and had a rangy, boyish figure. ‘We've been so looking forward to this. Now, let's introduce you to everyone…'

‘Mum, why are all the windows open?' said Zack.

‘You know exactly why, darling. Too much going on, too much chatter, and I forgot to set the timer on the oven.' Tizz was un-repentant. ‘I burned the bloody shortbread.'

***

By eight o'clock Ellie felt as if she'd known Zack's family for years. Well, apart from not having quite got all the names and faces of the younger contingent matched together. The interior of the house was spacious and comfortable, decorated in an eclectic mix of Gothic, suburban, and shabby chic. Zack's father Ken, returning from a trip to the shops for unburnt shortbread and extra supplies of Bombay Sapphire gin, was tall and suntanned with a loud booming laugh, twinkling faded gray eyes, and a big bumpy nose that Zack hadn't inherited.

Zack's sisters were equally welcoming, each of them possessing a recognizable mix of their parents' genes and a raucous sense of humor. Claire was the blondest, Paula the one with the wickedest, loudest laugh. And Steph, due to be married less than forty-eight hours from now, was the most laid-back future bride you could imagine, especially seeing as her twin daughters Joss and Lily were still dead set on wearing trainers with their bridesmaid dresses.

OK, Joss and Lily, identical twins, tick.

Gareth, Steph's about-to-be husband, tick.

Paula's children were Tom and Zaylie, dark straight hair, dark curly hair, tick, tick.

Claire and her husband Paul—no,
Phil—
had two girls and one boy, Suki and Belle and… hang on a sec, Lewis, that was it. Tick, tick, tick.

As for the dogs, they were a boisterous mix of Labradors, mongrels, and terriers, and Ellie wasn't even going to attempt to work out which of them belonged to which branch of the family. It was enough for now that Elmo was having the time of his life.

So far they'd all been down to the beach to give the dogs a run before sundown, before calling in at the best takeaway in Perranporth. Then, back at the house, they'd sat outside on the lit-up terrace eating fish and chips, drinking gin, and discussing the plans for the wedding.

After a while, even better, the conversation turned to Zack when he was young.

‘He made me jump over a wall,' Claire relayed with relish, ‘and there were ten million stinging nettles on the other side.'

Zack narrowed his eyes. ‘Only to pay you back for tipping live crabs into my wellington boots.'

‘But you deserved it,' Paula chimed in. ‘You'd hidden whitebait in her schoolbag.'

‘Oh God, I'd forgotten about the whitebait.' Claire was outraged. ‘They stank!'

The children were shrieking with laughter. Joss, sitting at Ellie's feet, squealed, ‘I'm going to do the crab thing tomorrow to everyone in my class!'

‘You mustn't.' Zack pointed a chip at her. ‘Because it's not funny and it's not clever.'

Belle shook her head. ‘It is funny, I think.
And
quite clever.'

‘At the time it was hilarious.' Zack's expression was solemn. ‘The next day when I put on my wellies and got crabs grabbing hold of my toes, not so much.'

‘I could do it,' said Zaylie. ‘I wouldn't get caught. Everyone thinks I'm nice!'

‘I used to like these children.' Zack scooped Zaylie on to his lap and began tickling her bare feet.

Within seconds she was reduced to helpless giggles. ‘Is Ellie your girlfriend?'

‘Yes, she is, she's my new girlfriend.'

Ellie's breath caught in her throat.
If only.

‘Has she seen you with no clothes on?'

Oh crikey, just the thought of it. Thank goodness the lighting was dim. ‘No, I have not.' Above the laughter, Ellie said with horror, ‘Yuk, no
way
.'

‘I know where there's a picture of Uncle Zack and he's sitting in a paddling pool
naked
.' Zaylie's face was triumphant. ‘It's in a book of photographs in Grandma's room, she was showing us the other day. Do you want me to get it and show you?'

‘Mum, I thought I told you to throw that one away.' Zack looked pained.

‘Oh, darling, how could I? You were so adorable.'

Ellie kept a straight face. ‘Was it taken very recently?'

‘Very funny. I was two. And you don't want to see it,' said Zack.

Sometimes an opportunity came along that was simply too good to pass up. And she was supposed to be his girlfriend, wasn't she? ‘Actually,' Ellie's gaze was innocent, ‘I think you'll find I do.'